Rachel’s room looked amazing, it was all deep shades of purple and blacks. They spent the whole Saturday fixing it up. Andrea forgave me for the card, but she just seemed to be torn, I heard her crying in the shower this morning and I was not sure what to do.

I love a girl more then I think is possible, she is my soul mate, but sometimes I feel like she thinks im going to leave her, or that maybe I rushed her into us.

She sat laughing at the golden girls with trace and Rachel. I sat on the chair next to her she sat. A few times, she would look away and stare at me, id catch her and she would smile. That smile was not her normal smile. It was a sad one.

***

I hated my self for doubting Justin that is why I feel like I hurt him by just second-guessing what we had. I will love Trevor like an old boyfriend, but I loved Justin as my future. There’s just something that eats at me, he did cheat on Jessica with me, how do I know he wont find someone better/ Rachel laughed when I told her. Maybe she is right, I do not think Justin would hurt me like that, but he did with Jessica that night he meet her for lunch.

We sat and watched TV, he did not even offer to sit next to me .its as if he knows something wrong. I closed my eyes and sighed.

I said night to everyone and retreated to the bedroom. I let the door click softly behind me.

Therefore, I knew I was over Trevor and Trevor was over me, but something in the back of my mind, knew Justin did not feel that way. I undid my shorts and slipped my shirt off. I put on some short and left my self in my sports bra.

I looked at my tinny bookcase and grabbed ‘eclipse’. maybe Justin should learn a few things from Mr.. Edward Cullen. I laughed and turned my ipod on and started reading on the bed.

I didn’t look up when he came in. he slipped out of his jeans. I sighed and turned the page.

“Drea?’ I didn’t answer I just keep focused on the book. I wonder what its like to be a vampire? I bet Justin would make a sexy one.

“Drea?” he said more firm.

‘hi’

“what’s wrong?”

‘nothing im fine” he didn’t believe me and I can say im not a good fibber . He sat down next to me. I took a deep breath and let my emotions go.

*********

‘so what your saying is you didn’t know if you where over your ex or night” he says quietly. I explained to him how I was feeling, but I told him that it was just a pang of stupidest.

‘Look Justin, I love you, always have always will’

“But?”

“but, im scared’ his face scrunched and he licked his lip.

‘You might get bored of me or that because you cheated on jess with me who am next with me?’ he locked his eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

“Andrea Chloe ayala’ I cringed.

‘don’t ever doubt my feelings for you, I know everything about you, there is something about you that I need to breathe, I wanted to leave jess so many times, but when in went away, you ended up with Trevor, so you can see how hard things where for me” I smile and brought my hand to his face. That was all I needed to hear.

He pressed his lips on the inside of my palm and pulled me to lie next to him. He grabbed the light remote and turned them off.

Maybe now we could just be us.