The soft hum of the microwave captivates me as I watch the steady spinning of my burrito. I love microwaves, they’re so simple, and yet have provided me with so much comfort and joy over the years.
I’m having a lazy day. I have specifically put today aside to:
1) Watch episodes of Friends and trying to ignore the feeling of companionship between the pathetic and fixated Ross and myself.
2) Eat a whole lot of junk and possibly reach the weight of a small killer whale.
3) Admire and get sentimental over simple kitchen utensils.
Saturdays are usually a day where one recoups from the raucous partying they did on the Friday - not for me. I never go partying, I rarely drink and Saturdays are generally spent in front of the TV. Does that make me a boring person? Of course.
But today is a Saturday to the extreme. I have enough food to feed a small country and have my Friends videos placed in chronological order, ready to be watched. All the curtains are closed and I’m still in my version of pajamas; a hideously shapeless T-shirt and an equally repulsive pair of sweat pants that make my ass look never-ending. Well, I’m all set for a wonderful day.
Diane walks in, putting her earrings in and casting a pitying glance over my state of dress. “Hi.”
I look up from the microwave. “Hi. You going out with Joe today?”
Her eyes narrow. “Yes, Joseph and I are spending the day together. Want to come?”
I snort. “Nah, I’m busy.”
She looks over my shoulder into the dark living room, which I have converted into my safe haven, with the cushions from the couch all spread out and an episode of Friends on pause. “Mm, I can see that.”
I smile at her, before realizing it’s time to take my burrito out. I take it out and wince at its heat. I throw it between my hands as I make my way to the plate on the table.
“So, what happened between you and this Sean guy?”
I shrug and head to the fridge to look for a drink to go with my meaty treat. “Not much. We just talked, got to know each other.”
She raises an eyebrow. “And?”
I look at her over my shoulder. “And…he’s nice?”
She rolls her eyes and puts her purse on the table. “I mean is this a potential relationship?”
Ha. Good one, Diane. “I don’t think so, Diane,” I say condescendingly.
“Why not?”
“He’s way out of my league. Hey, have you noticed I say that a lot about guys?” I reply bitterly, roughly pulling off the lid of the Coke to haphazardly pour it into the glass.
She shrugs. “Yeah well, you talk a bunch of crap, so I’ll have to meet him and make my own judgements.”
I roll my eyes and mutter a, “Whatever.”
I know it’s an immature response, but she doesn’t seem to get it. It’s not like I’m kidding when I say people like Sean and Justin are out of my league, because they genuinely are. I’ll admit I’m don’t have a particularly positive outlook on life or myself, but even the most optimistic person would be surprised to see me dating one of them. Okay, I’m not ugly, I’m just normal. You wouldn’t pick me out on a crowded street or look at me and think, “Wow, I wish I was her”. But on the other hand, you wouldn’t look at me and think, “Get back to the circus”.
See? I’m not completely self-esteemless.
I wonder what it’s like for people like Justin or…Natasha, to just wake up in the morning and be safe in the knowledge at least someone will find you attractive. I think people grow attracted to me, after witnessing my ‘sparkling personality’, ha ha.
“Anyway,” says Diane suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I look up from my Coke and raise an eyebrow. “Really? What?”
She takes a deep breath and an uncontrollable grin spreads across her pretty face. “Well, Joseph and I have been talking, and…”
I smile at her. “What is it? Come on, tell me.”
She shakes herself. “Okay, well, we’re moving in with each other!”
My eyes widen. “Really? Are you being serious?”
She nods excitedly. “Yep!”
I run forward and embrace her in a hug, laughing. It’s not customary for me to rejoice in other peoples’ happiness, but Diane is my best friend and I know how much she loves Joseph.
She laughs and pulls back slightly. “But you know what this means. There’s gonna be a guy around the house,” she says, grimacing slightly before smiling again.
My grin falters slighty. Shit. Joseph is moving in here?
She sees the look on my face and quickly tries to correct it. “But you don’t have to move out or anything, I was just saying it’s gonna be a bitch to have to put down the toilet seat all the time.”
I smile weakly back at her. She pulls me in for another hug and I try to hide my upset over the situation. It’s going to be awful living with them. I don’t dislike Joseph or anything, but it would be so awkward to try and live in an environment where it’s basically two soul mates and then a surplus person on the side who sort of ‘hangs out’. That means…oh god. I’m the spinsterish best friend who lives with two lovebirds. Why don’t I just get a cat and make the picture complete? Urgh, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse.
The phone rings and Diane answers it, before handing it to me. “Hello?” I answer in a tired and hostile voice.
“Hey, hey, hey! Wassup, chica?”
It’s Justin. I was wrong-things can always get worse.
-----------------------------
The first thing that strikes me when I see her standing on my doorstep is that she seems upset. The wind is picking up her brown locks and sending them flying in all different directions, but she appears unconcerned and hasn’t has the sense to tie it back with the hair thing I can see around her wrist. Her eyes look slightly bloodshot and the skin underneath them is red, as though she’s been rubbing them. Her shoulders are slightly slumped, which is unusual for her, because she once told me she always stood up straight; it made her, ‘fabulous boobs look even better’.
“You look like you could use a friend,” I say, gently.
She looks at me and smiles slightly, shrugging. “I guess.”
I pull her inside the warm house and quickly wrap my arms around her. She says she’s not a tactile person, but I think, underneath all that sarcasm, she really is. I can tell by the way her arms gratefully go around my neck and she buries her head against my chest.
“What’s wrong?” I ask into her hair, tightening my grip slightly.
“Nothing,” she mumbles, before pulling away. “It’s just silly, really.”
“If it’s upsetting you then it’s not silly. What is it?”
She backs away from me and looks down at her hands, which she has begun to twist. “Could you be more perfect?” she mutters so quietly I barely catch it, and I have a feeling she didn’t want me to.
I take her hands in mine. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She sighs. “Joseph is moving in with us.”
“Does that bother you?”
She shrugs and looks away from me. “I just don’t want to be some pathetic third wheel in my own home,” she says, sort of shyly, as though she thinks I’m going to think she’s stupid or something.
“Sure,” I say understandingly. I lead her into the living room and sit her down on the couch, where she’ll be more comfortable.
“I mean, I know it’s selfish —” she begins, but I cut her off.
“No, it’s not. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to be there.” And I can. It can get so awkward for the other person if two people are close like that. Trace and I have experienced it many times, and we even moved apart when Britney and I wanted to live together. You just feel like you’re imposing all the time.
“And I am happy for them, it would just be…weird, you know?”
I nod.
“But if I said to Diane I was moving out or something, she’d just end up breaking it off with Joseph, and then I’d feel like shit for holding back their relationship.”
I nod again. “So what are you going to do?”
She exhales loudly. “Well, I don’t know. Ideally, I’d move out, but that would make Diane feel guilty, which I don’t want to do.” She sighs. “But there’s no way I could live with those two. Is that childish?” she ask, turning to me.
I shake my head. “No. When Britney and I decided to live together, Trace moved out.”
“Did you feel guilty?”
I pause. “Well, no, not really. Because first of all, I didn’t ask Trace to move out, he just did. Second of all, he ended up moving in with another friend, so it wasn’t as though he was out on his ass.”
She laughs gently. Suddenly Trace walks in, baseball cap backwards and a swagger in his step. “Hey homeboy and homegirl, how be you?”
Cat laughs and stands up to give him a quick hug, which surprises me, but I remind myself they’ve become just as close friends as Cat and I are. That’s close friends.
Trace must sense the seriousness in the air because he frowns. “What’s wrong?”
Cat briefly explains as I watch her intently. She’s sort of in a bad place. Understandably, she doesn’t want to be around her best friend and her boyfriend smooching, but then again she doesn’t want to hurt her. Suddenly, an idea forms in my head and I look at Trace, who’s mulling the situation over in his head. I catch his eye and raise an eyebrow, asking for his agreement. He looks at me, and then at Cat, before turning back to me. He nods.
Cat looks between us, frowning. “What’s going on?”
I grin at her. “Cat, why don’t you just move in with us for a while?”
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