"Are you fucking bi-polar or something? Jesus." Justin shouts angrily and it's impossible to miss the frustration in his voice. "You can't keep doing this shit to me."    

"Doing what, exactly?"    

"This! Seriously woman... you've got to be the most unstable chick I've ever met. First, it's like you get off by humiliating me. Then you flip your shit when I'm with your best friend, then all of a sudden you want me? What about your boy in there, huh? Or is this about playing both of us?"    

"I...I...I don't know." I stutter dumbly.     

In all honesty, I'd kind of expected Justin to jump at the opportunity to sleep with me. But, he's quickly proving that I know absolutely nothing about him.     

I really am a complete moron when it comes to men. No wonder I get screwed around so damn much.     

"Tell you what Emma... you take a week, and figure it out. Cause this playing around shit is getting really old." He nods seriously before turning and heading down the street, the deep frown never leaving his face.    

Well, shit.    

I can't seem to get this right no matter what I do.     

Blowing him off is wrong. Ignoring him is wrong. Giving in to him is wrong.    

Exactly what the fuck am I supposed to do here?    

Maybe the problem is the fact that I'm starting to give in. What if he was just hanging around for the thrill of the chase?    

I swear to God, men are such idiots.     

You dangle something in front of their faces and they can't leave it alone. But, when you serve it to them on a silver platter, they won't fucking touch it.     

It doesn't make sense, and I'm done trying to figure it out.    

I'm becoming a nun. End of story.

*****************    

Well, I did it. I took a week, like Justin told me to, and I thought about the events of the last month or so, and I've finally come to one simple conclusion.    

Honestly, I should have figured it out ages ago. It's been staring me straight in the face from day one, and I was just too stupid and proud to see it.    

I like Justin.    

There, I said it.         

I finally broke down and admitted what has been so blatantly obvious to everyone but me. I like him. I like the attention he throws at me. I like the fact that he won't hesitate to call me on my bullshit. I like the way he looks at me. I like that my friends like him. I like that he can hold his liquor as well as I can. I just... like him.    

But, there are a few fairly large details standing in the way of me throwing caution to the wind and telling Justin that he's been right all along.     

Number one, pride.    

I've spent so long fighting him off, giving in is almost like surrendering during a war. You don't want to, no matter how badly you should. I just can't stand the thought of him gloating and holding this thing over my head like he's king of the fucking world or something.    

Secondly, my past.    

I have a tendency to just skim over the details of what happened, mostly because talking about it only fuels my hatred for the male species. Sure, I know they aren't all cheating, manipulative bastards like Andrew, but the potential is always there.    

A man is always going to think with his dick. I don't care if he's the most sensitive, caring man to walk this earth. His crotch is always going to do the thinking for him. And usually, that train of thought leads them straight to sleeping with another woman.    

Last, but certainly not least.... there's Max.    

Max is the kind of man a girl can only dream about. He's good looking. He's charming. He's intelligent. He's got a great job, he's respectful, he listens.     He's perfect.    

But... perfection can only carry you so far.    

Call me crazy, but I don't want the perfect man or the perfect relationship.     

I mean, sure... I want all the good stuff, but I want some of the bad too. The fighting, the jealousy, the miscommunication.     

It's just my opinion, but those things make up a real relationship just as much as the good stuff.     

So... now I'm left with a decision.    

I can take the easy road with Max. I can have the boring, mundane but perfect relationship. Which honestly, would make me content, but not exactly happy.    

Or, there is the completely unexpected with Justin.     

Max is the reliable, logical decision. Whereas Justin is.... well... I'm not exactly sure what Justin is.     

Justin is unstable. Justin pisses me off to no end. Justin never fails to shock the hell out of me. A relationship with Justin has the potential to be exactly the kind of relationship I want.     

But, how the hell do I break that to Max? How do I tell this amazing man that I can't be with him because he's just too perfect?    

It's a lame ass excuse, if you ask me. But, it's the only one I've got right now.     

Furthermore, how do I tell Justin that I've finally figured out what I want?     

Fighting him off was easy. Letting him in may prove to be more difficult that I could have ever imagined.     

I'm quickly realizing this is becoming a battle of want versus need. Justin being want, Max being need.     

One of the two is going to have to lose, and it's up to me to decide.     

Unfortunately, I can't ignore that little voice in the back of my head telling me that either way I go, I'm making a partially wrong decision.