Chapter 6.
Through The Rain.
I ran off stage cursing under my breath, knowing I had messed up so many of my moves. It was my first performance as a solo artist, and it was the VMA’s.
“Shit, I so messed that up,” I said to Joey as I got backstage and smiling into the cameras. We had hired a film crew to follow me around in order to promote the album; they had been there ever since we laid down ‘Cry Me a River’ solid.
“Now, now,” Joey said waving a finger at me. “I don’t want that attitude mister, you did pretty darn good.” I smiled at Joey and thanked the lord above that I had such a great support system as Joey ushered the camera man out the room so we could have privacy for a while.
“Private matters to discuss, a brother thing,” he said and slammed the door in the cameraman’s face, I chuckled.
“Thanks Joe,” I replied shyly and Chris and JC came barging into the room. Chris grabbing me in a hug.
“Man, that was tight!” Chris said with a huge smile on his face and Joey laughed.
“Yeah try and convince him that,” Joey commented, “Lance would be proud dude.” I smiled again and remembered that Lance wasn’t there, he was in Russia.
“I hope so,” I said softly, and JC hugged me.
“He will be J,” JC said, “You were great.”
“Thanks Jayce,” I said, “But I still feel…”
“Now stop right there!” Joey said interrupting me, “I will not have you degrading yourself like that!” JC and Chris nodded in agreement.
“Yeah J, you need to learn to give yourself a pat on the back once in a while,” Chris said in agreement and patted me on the back.
“I know, I know,” I replied with a small smile. “So when do we present?”
“Oh shit,” JC said looking at his watch and grabbing my arm. “We gotta bolt; we’re due on stage now!”
“Oh crap,” Chris muttered and pushed me forward, we all rushed out of the room, nearly knocking over the camera guy in the process as they announced us to present the Viewer’s Choice award.
“So Justin, what happened between you and Britney?” I groaned, and rolled my eyes. I was in another radio interview promoting the new album, but at this rate all I felt like I was promoting was my life, it was like a bloody broken radio.
“It’s personal,” I said and the interviewer eyed me sceptically.
“Is it true she cheated on you with Wade Robson?” The guy asked, I felt my blood boil and the sound of his name and shot the guy a look.
“I said it was personal, so drop it,” I snapped and glanced around. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny glare at me with warning. It was at times like these that I wished the other guys could be here as buffers.
“O-okay,” the interviewer said feeling a bit foolish. “Um, so when’s the new album being released?” I smiled; glad to have averted the topic.
“In a few days,” I said with a charming smile and the interview went on, all questions about me and Brit dropped.
The next time they asked me about Britney, I was caught off guard so I thought I might as well get it out in the open.
“Justin Timberlake is in the house. And I just want to ask you one question, did you fuck Britney Spears? Yes or no,” the radio announcer asked me; I looked at him in shock and wondered what I should say.
“Oh man,” I said wondering what to say, I paused and looked at Johnny through the glass.
“Come on man,” the announcer asked, and I took a deep breath in, Johnny smiled at me with encouragement. I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t give it a rest until I answered properly.
“Okay, I did it,” I said aspirated, I was so going to sue the guy.
“Can’t we sue them? Or like do something?” I asked Johnny a few hours later as I sat in my hotel room in Germany. Johnny sighed and shook his head.
“No I’m afraid not,” Johnny said looking at me with despair. “Kid, the only thing we can do is hope they don’t ask questions like that again.”
“But I insulted Brit’s trust in me!” I called in despair and Johnny raised an eyebrow.
“And she didn’t do that to you?” Johnny asked, and I sighed he had a point.
“Can’t we do anything?” I asked again, hoping the answer would be different.
“They have all the right to ask what they want kiddo, I’m afraid not,” Johnny said.
“Yeah but this is about the album, not me and Brit,” I said and threw my arms in the air.
“Well then what do you want to do about it?” Johnny asked wanting to know my opinion.
“Tell them I won’t do any interviews,” I began but Johnny stopped me.
“Wait, no you have to,” he said but I shook my head.
“No, tell them that if any of their people ask me a question about Brit I walk,” I said, “I refuse to do anything that doesn’t relate to the album.”
“Good thinking Kid,” Johnny said with a smile. “I’m glad you’re thinking on your feet, the other guys will be proud.”
“But Jayce,” I protested later on at the release party for Justified, we had found a corner somewhere where JC had decided to pull me aside and see what as going on.
“No buts J,” JC said with a stern look, becoming the daddy figure again. “What you did was unacceptable.”
“What did you want me to do Jayce?” I snapped, “They were pounding me with so many fucking questions.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him, but it didn’t work.
“Yeah but that didn’t excuse it, right?” JC asked sternly,
“J, you diminished her reputation in two words.”
“I know okay?” I said frustrated, “I feel so bloody guilty about that.”
“Then apologize to her,” JC stated leaving no room for argument but I argued anyways.
“Not until she apologizes to me,” I said stubbornly, and JC rolled his eyes at me.
“You’re so stubborn J,” he said, “You need to apologize and move on, both of you.”
“So why don’t you tell her then? Stop preaching to me about it,” I snapped and stalked away from him going to find a much needed drink.
“Tell me what crawled up your ass,” Chris said sitting next to me at the bar, I rolled my eyes and took a swig of my beer. “There is press here you know, at least look happy you released the record.”
“I am,” I said not looking at him, “It’s Jayce.”
“Okay what happened?” Chris asked with a concerned voice, he always hated it when we fought.
“Well it’s not only him,” I replied slowly looking at my beer. “It’s this whole bloody Britney thing.”
“You mean the questions about her?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow, and I nodded.
“Yeah, Jayce said I should apologize,” I said softly and Chris nodded.
“He’s right you know,” Chris stated not leaving a room for argument, I looked up at him.
“Yeah I know but right now I can’t,” I replied and again Chris nodded.
“That’s ok; as long as you do J,” Chris said, “Beside you better stop moping here comes your date.” I looked at him and he raised an eyebrow looking over his shoulder, I followed his gaze and smiled as I saw my date walking towards us.
“Hey Alyssa,” I said putting on a fake smile.
“Hey J,” she said walking up to me and kissing me. “How about a drink?” I nodded and ordered us another round and forgot about Britney, for now anyways.
Later on, about a week later I sat at home watching TV and trying to clear my mind of what JC had said when the door bell rang. I sighed and looked at the clock, it was late. I wondered who it was when I’d told everyone to give me space. I got up and decided to answer it so I could get the person to go away.
“Yes?” I asked opening the door.
“Justin!” Britney’s voice called as she wrapped her arms around my neck, I looked at her in shock. Prying her grasp from my neck.
“Brit? What are you doing here?” I asked, pushing her back. She looked at me and smiled.
“I came to get some stuff I left here,” she said with a smile. I raised an eyebrow at her and wondered if I should let her in.
“Brit, you took everything when we broke up remember?” I asked and she laughed lightly.
“No I didn’t,” she said and walked past me into the house, I watched her stunned. After a few seconds I shut the door and followed her as she stalked into my kitchen. She walked up to the table and placed the bag that was on her shoulder onto it, and then turned to look at me. “I missed you. I’m still in love with you J; I don’t know where to go in my life without you.”
“Well,” I began wondering how to answer. “Brit, what is it you want exactly?”
“I told you silly,” she said with a laugh and walking up to me, “I came to get some stuff, and to see how you were.” She tried to wrap her arms around my neck but I held her back at arm’s length.
“I’m doing good,” I said looking sternly at her, “Now can you go please? I’ll send whatever you left to your mom’s house.” She looked at me and gave a small frown before walking back to her bag, I thought she was going to pick it up and go, but instead she opened it up and produced a bottle of wine.
“Shall we?” she asked with a smile, I looked at her with my mouth open. What was wrong with this woman?
“Brit, I told you to go, can you please respect that?” I asked, she looked at me with a fallen face.
“Um, okay then,” she said and put the wine back. “I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“It’s okay just go,” I said not looking at her, she nodded but didn’t say anything as she walked out the room. I sighed as she left and walked over to the counter leaning against it for support, wondering what had just happened. I knew I still loved her, but I couldn’t let her back in, it was too risky.
“Justin.” I groaned as I heard the voice over ten minutes later and took a deep breath in, hadn’t she gone?
“Brit, I told you..” I began as I looked up to her, but stopped. She was standing in the door way in my favorite North Carolina shirt. “What were you doing in my closet?”
“I thought I’d surprise you,” she said softly walking up to me and leaning against me. She pushed me back so my back was nearly hitting the counter top.
“Well you definitely did surprise me,” I said trying to get her off me.
“Good,” she whispered and leaned even closer so her lips were only inches from mine. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes, before pushing her off.
“Brit, please don’t,” I said as I pushed her off and she stumbled back. I caught a glimpse of her and saw her lower lip tremble.
“What’s wrong?” she asked near to tears, I looked at her and sighed.
“What’s wrong? Well for starters Brit you decide to turn up here unannounced with a bottle of wine,” I said and I saw her tears begin to fall and for a moment I felt bad.
“What’s so bad about that?” she asked with a teary voice. I raised an eyebrow at her, did she want me to answer that?
“Britney we broke up remember?” I asked her, “You can’t just turn up here unannounced with a bottle of wine claiming you want to collect some stuff.”
“You didn’t mind before,” she said quietly not looking at me, I sighed she was right.
“Yeah, but that was before we broke up,” I said, “But now it’s not okay. Why don’t you get dressed back into your regular clothes then jut leave? It’ll be better for the both of us.”
“Fine,” she snapped and fled my house, not even bothering to change her clothes. I knew then that we would never get back together. She was in my past, and definitely not anywhere in my future.
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