I was laying on the couch watching a movie with
Brayden laying in my arms sleeping peacefully when
there was a knock at the door. I sighed as I tried to
get up without waking up Brayden. I opened the
door and froze when I saw Justin standing there
before me looking very timid and shy staring at the
ground. “Can we talk?”Justin almost whispered as
he finally looked up at me. “Uh…Yeah. Let me take
Brayden up to bed first.”I said as I stepped aside
letting him in and making my way back into the
living room. “Would it be okay if I took him
up?”Justin asked looking at me uneasily. “Sure.”I
said as I let Justin pick up Brayden and let him
upstairs to Brayden’s room. Justin laid Brayden
down and tucked him in and started to walk away.
“Uh…he needs his Elmo.”I said as I pointed to the
stuffed animal sitting across the room. Justin just
nodded as he grabbed it and placed it beside
Brayden on his bed. “And you have to turn his night
light on.”I said pointing to it. Justin did so then
quietly followed me out of the room and back
downstairs. “So?” I said as I sat on the
opposite end of the couch from Justin. “Look this all
was really shocking for me and I can’t say that I’m
not still upset with you for running and hiding
because I am, but at the same time I can’t walk
away knowing he’s my son. I want to be in his life
and I want him to know who I am, but as for you
and I, I can’t trust you at this point and it’s going to
be hard for me to get past the fact that you felt you
couldn’t come to me with all of this when you first
found out.”Justin said as he fidgeted with his hands
and finally looked up at me. “I understand
completely. It was a really hard decision for me to
make when I did it and every day since I’ve
questioned whether I did the right thing or not.
Regardless I knew that when I ran into you again
that there was no way of keeping my secret
anymore and that I had to tell you the truth. I’m
glad you know and I’m glad that Brayden will get to
know his dad. As for us I completely understand, I
wish things hadn’t ended with us the way they had
when it did, and I wish things were different now.
Maybe one day we can move past all of this, but
until we do the only thing I ask is regardless of your
hatred toward me you cannot let it show around
Brayden.”I said begging Justin as I looked up at
him. “Oh Abs I don’t hate you.”Justin sighed as he
scooted over closing the distance between us and
pulling me into his embrace “I just don’t know what
I’m supposed to do. I can’t be with someone I don’t
trust. I mean you finally told me the truth, but what
if you’re hiding other things from me?”Justin said. I
looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. “I
can promise you that I’m not hiding anything else
from you…but I completely understand why you’re
apprehensive about me and the whole situation.”I
said looking back down. “Hey.”Justin said as he
lifted my chin to meet his gaze “Don’t beat yourself
up. You did what you thought you had to and even
though I don’t understand it I’m sure you had your
reasons for it.”He said as I just nodded. “Will you
come over tomorrow after breakfast and we’ll both
sit down and talk to him?”I asked. “Yeah that
sounds like a good idea, but I better go now.”Justin
said as he started to get up from the couch. “Yeah I
suppose.”I sighed as I walked him to the door.