I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
It was like watching a car crash. You know, the kind where it’s so horrible but you can't look away? Only this wasn’t a car and it wasn’t someone else. It was us, it was her, and it was a stage malfunction. Jane... I felt cold as Chris ran in. I couldn’t hear him, only “Janine...Joey...lift...crash.”
I took off before he could finish and felt Trace run to catch up but my only thoughts were my friends. When I reached the main room, I swear my heart stopped. I literally couldn’t feel it beat. There was twisted metal laying around the huge main stage, smoke in some spots. It looked like one of the hydraulic lift things had collapsed and I could see Lance slowly hefting Joey to his feet. He was a big guy but seemed ok with only a few scratches; he could take it. Lance looked fine too. Then the screams and cries once again filtered to my ears.
A few feet away from Joey, I could see JC leaning over someone. He tried to calm them with no success. Luckily, he didn’t appear to be hurt but as I got closer I faced my worst nightmare. Janine – no she was Jane – lay trapped between the floor and the bottom of a lift. Her left leg was pinned and my eyes blurred with tears as I saw the blood and dropped to my knees. JC shoved my shoulder and I looked at him in shock. “J, stay with her, keep her awake. I have to get the medics.”
I was amazed at how calm he was – he didn’t like anything to do with hospitals or medical but he was always levelheaded. I blindly moved and took his spot, Jane’s head resting in my lap. She was shaking so bad, her eyes pleading for me to help her. But what could I do? Should I move her and try to get her leg out? Should I wait? Another part of me was still in shock from knowing this girl who’d I’d traveled with for two months was my long-lost best friend. I had so many questions; like why she left or never told me who she was. But I had to save her right now. So I swallowed the lump and tears in my throat and spoke to her. “Jane, open your eyes. Come on, look at me.” Her eyes fluttered after a few long moments. “That’s my girl.” I couldn’t help the smile that graced my face as I really looked into her blue eyes.
“J-j-justin,” she struggled. Her stutter made worse from the pain.
“Shh shh, save your strength. We’re getting help and you'll be ok,” I tried to sooth her.
“But...I’m s-s-sor-sorry.”
“I know and it’s ok. Just rest, my Baby Girl. I’m here.”
Jane cried out again as the firefighters freed her leg, the pain increasing. I’m telling you, I’d give anything just to make her hurt go away. I leaned down, whispering soothing words; both to calm her and possibly convince myself. Chris and Trace had to pry me away as they loaded her on the stretcher. That’s when she finally fainted from the pain and I ignored the tears running down my cheeks.
“What’s her name?” one paramedic asked.
“Janine Ramsey,” JC answered.
“No,” I choked out. How did I even have a voice left? “Her real name is Jane McCall.” JC looked to me, knowing what I was saying, and nodded to the EMT’s.
“Tray, I’ll ride with her. You take J in your car. I don’t think he can handle this right now,” my friend of ten years whispered to my other best friend. I wanted to protest, to never let Jane go again, but I was too in shock.
“C, there’s needles,” Lance pointed out. JC’s face paled with brief panic but he sucked it up, saying he’d look away as long as they didn’t stick him.
---
The drive was quiet and fast; Trace and I both lost in our thoughts. This was Jane, our best friend of our childhood years, our girl. Sure neither of us could believe she was really Jane at first, she did hide it, but the connection was there. I felt it; knew deep down that somehow she was who I searched for. And now she was fighting for her life...
I numbly got out of the car before it even stopped and could hear Trace cursing me. He wasn't really mad at me, just the situation. My heart started beating again as I saw Jane being pushed through the ER doors. No, my heart pounded. I think I was panicking now but who could blame me.
“Whoa, Justin, slow down,” Joey said coming up to me. His wrist was wrapped in a thin layer but he was otherwise fine.
“Where is she?” I asked.
“Janine’s hurt pretty bad -”
“HER NAME IS JANE.”
“Jane, sorry. Jane’s hurt but the doctors are going to operate on her leg, ok?” Joey took my shoulders, feeling me shake. “The metal from the lift and the plastic of her leg brace got in there but they’ll get out. It will be ok.”
“Excuse me,” a nurse called. “We need someone to sign consent.”
I shakily signed the paper and then stared as they wheeled Jane up to OR. Suddenly, my stomach twisted and I stumbled towards the exit.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
---
Trace went to go after him but JC announced, “I’ll make sure he’s ok. I need out of here, anyway.”
The shorter man slumped a little but nodded with everyone. They all knew the singer’s fear of hospitals and let him go.
“Should we call her parents or someone?” Chris asked.
“We don’t know her contact number because it’s been so long...but someone should call Lynn.”
“Already on it,” Lance chipped in as he held up his phone, calling Johnny who called Lynn Harless.
Trace stared at the glass doors as he started processing everything. He couldn’t believe all that had happened. How did they not see who she was all that time? “Eight years...” he whispered and sat down.
Meanwhile outside, Justin hunched over the grass at the side of the building. His body ached as it rid of everything he’d eaten. The shock had worn off, the tears hitting full-force, and he just wanted it to stop. His best friend was hurt and he couldn’t protect her. This only made him sob and sick more. His stomach slowly stopped but he continued to cry. “Here,” JC said softly as he handed him a bottle of water. He then wrapped Justin in a brotherly hug.
“She – she’s been here...the whole time, Josh. I’ve been so mean to her and it turns out she’s Janey. Oh god, she’ll never forgive me,” Justin cried.
“Shh, everything will be fine. Just breathe.” After forcing his young friend to keep breathing, he continued. “This is a bad situation but you couldn’t have known she was the girl you were looking for. Why don’t you tell me more about her? I never heard about your childhood together, remember? We met after.”
Justin sniffled, running a hand over his shaved head. “We met in the sandbox, how cheesy is that? Mom says she could never get us apart. I was always with Jane...” He continued on for a few minutes and finally calmed down.
“You feel better now?” JC asked. “Ready to go back?”
“I don't know if I can see her like that, C...she’s in so much pain...but she needs me.”
“Ok, come on. We’re all here to support you.” Suddenly, he stopped and JC almost ran into him. “You ok, Jus? Feeling sick again?”
“A little but that’s not it. You don’t have to come back inside, Josh.” He kept calling him that, like they were kids again. But it was ok by JC, the boy needed comfort right now. “I know you hate hospitals and all that,” Justin continued. “All ya’ll can go back to the hotel.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine as long as the doctors don’t come near me. I told you, we’re going to stay until everyone’s alright."
