A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes
She said if we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see
She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me
ONE MONTH LATER, Jane had completed another session in her three month physical therapy. It wouldn’t have been so much if she didn’t have previous problems before the broken leg. As she got out of the cab, she grabbed her crutches and walked to her downtown Orlando apartment. She couldn’t go back on tour with her injury so Johnny gave her a job in the office. Luckily *NSYNC was on tour so she didn’t have to face Justin. But she was back on two crutches instead of one til she was healed and her brace could be refitted.
Justin walked down the street to WEG compound. About two blocks away, he saw a cab pull out and a girl on blue crutches walk up to an apartment building. His heart stopped; he hadn’t seen Jane since she kicked him out of the hospital – she wouldn’t let him or any of *NSYNC around her. Though he now knew why, it still hurt him deeply. He kept tabs on her though through Johnny and various others, he couldn’t just totally let her go again. The group had to finish their summer tour but now that they were done, he was here and he would make her realize he truly loved her.
He stood behind the railing where she couldn’t see him because she was so focused on her task. Ok, now he felt stalkerish but could you blame him? He wanted to be with her so bad and this was his chance. Suddenly, Jane slipped in the rain and couldn’t catch her balance as she fell backwards. She braced herself for the breaking blow, cursing picking a place with stairs, but it never came. Warm, strong arms came around her and brought her back up. Her face was buried in Justin’s leather jacket and as she looked up, she saw his sparkling blue eyes. There was just a ghost of a smile on his lips as he gently took her keys and led her inside. Taking her coat, Jane smiled softly at what a gentleman he was; but it was gone when she realized she couldn’t let herself see him. She had to shut herself off to protect them both. Besides, he was a taken man...
He stood awkwardly in the livingroom doorway as she moved around, nonchalantly looking him over. He no longer had the buzzcut and his hair was growing into curls again. He was a bit more muscular she could tell as he took off his jacket. “What are yo-you d-doing?” she asked incredulously as he parked himself on the couch.
“I’m taking off my jacket,” he replied sarcastically.
“I see th-hat,” she replied, “I meant, why – why are you here?”
As he hung his jacket over the arm of the chair, he turned to face her. He knew she would react this way but he was willing to do whatever he needed to, to get her back in his life. He’d lost her once and he sure as heck wasn't about to lose her again. “I needed to talk to you.”
“Why? Won’t A-a-a-amanda have a fit that you’re even h-h-ere with a con?” she asked snidely.
“We broke up.” His voice was calm as he spoke. He had it all planned.
“Well congratulations, now leave.” She turned her back on him and retreated to the kitchen to get something to drink.
“Would you shut up with the attitude?!” Justin suddenly snapped.
“I didn’t let y-you in here, you walked in on your own and – and I don’t need th-this.”
“You left me, not the other way around so don’t do that! But, I know why you left all those years ago.” Justin said watching her as she stopped midstride to the kitchen then turned towards him with tears shining in her eyes. “And I understand why you did.”
Sniffling back the tears at the sudden memory she didn’t want to deal with, she let her eyes train on his face. “You do?” she asked softly.
“Yes,” he answered just as quietly. “I found your album – the guys put it in my bag – and I know you didn’t have a choice. But you do now...”
Closing her eyes, Jane breathed and steeled herself. “It’s not that simple, Jus-t-t-tin.”
“Why not? You're grown, you don’t have to leave, you don’t have to run anymore.”
“Because it’s not, you'll nev-ver understand. Now please l-leave.” She couldn’t let this happen, there’s no way it could go the way they wanted it. He didn’t even want her.
“Jane, I’ve spent 11 years looking for you and now that I have you, I’m not going to let you keep shutting me out. Tell me why you're doing this.” He stepped up and tried to take her hand but she wouldn't. “Stop it, and tell me what is the matter.” Now his voice was firm.
“You don’t get it, do y-y-you?! I CAN'T – can't let you in. As much as I want to let you in, I-I-I just can't burd-de-en you like that.” By the time she finished, her voice was nothing but a whisper and tears.
He waited calmly as she struggled with the stutter. “Oh, Janey...” Justin scooped her into his arms, dropping her crutches and carefully carrying her to the couch. She briefly fought against him, not knowing how to let down her guard, but his arms stayed snug. “Shh, my Baby Girl, listen to me. It’s not like that at all; it never was. You will never be a burden to me. Don’t ever think that.”
“But my mother, ev-everyone, Justin, I –”
“NO! You have to believe me, you were only a child and they never should’ve treated you like that. Yes, you needed those surgeries – look at how far you've come – but no one should be isolated like that.” She looked up and tears were making tracks on his face too. He buried his face in her hair as she lay on his shoulder. “Please let me love you...,” he whispered.
“I love you too, Jus-justin, that’s why I came back. But it – it will take time.”
He could tell she was frustrated with herself and her flaws but none of it mattered to him. “I know but I will help you through it. You'll never be alone again. That is, if you think you can handle me.”
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together
I know you deserve much better
Remember the time I told you the way that I felt
And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over
I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together
Whatever it takes
Author's Chapter Notes:
AN: again a ton of thanks to my co-writer for his encouragment & ideas. couldn't have done it without him :).
Chapter End Notes:
Let That Be Enough in chapter7 is by Switchfoot. Whatever It Takes in this chapter is by Lifehouse.
it will be a few weeks til the next fic cuz its a surprise & im waiting til im done.
it will be a few weeks til the next fic cuz its a surprise & im waiting til im done.
Completed
MrsTimberlake18 is the author of 41 other stories.
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