"Come on... you can't tell me you've never thought about it." Carly grins as I browse through the clothing rack in front of us.    

"Of course I've thought about it. How could I not?"    

"So, you guys have talked about it then?"    

"Well... not exactly." I shrug as I feel the frown quickly taking over my face.    

As much as I love Carly, I want nothing more than to slap her silly right now.    

I know I should be used to people bugging me about this by now, but any time it's brought up, I can't help getting a little irritated.    

Everyone knows there are various levels to any relationship. First, there's the beginning where everything is amazing and all you want to do is be with that person. Then there's the settling in phase, where you get comfortable in the relationship and completely let that other person in. Once the settling in phase is complete, you're faced with a few different options.    

You can let the relationship continue the same way, until it eventually fizzles out, you can end it, or you can take the biggest step of all, and get married.    

Justin and I have been together well over four years now. Getting married would be the next logical step for us, and that's exactly what I want.        

I want the dress and the cake, the house and the babies. I want every last bit of the future I've dreamed up since I was two years old. And I want all of it with him.    

Unfortunately, I'm afraid I may be alone in my desire for marriage and children, because not once in over four years, have we discussed it. The fact that it's been ignored for so long, leads me to wonder if Justin wants it at all, with me, or anyone else for that matter.    

And that could create a major problem.    

I've always wanted to get married and start a family. I was raised to believe that it's just the natural progression of life. You date someone, you fall in love, you get married, you have kids, you grow old together. It should be so simple.    

When I was little, I'd act out my wedding with my Barbie's. I'd spend hours describing my perfect man with my friends. I'd imagine the way he'd propose, what kind of flowers I'd use in the wedding, what I'd name my kids.    

I had complete faith that one day, Prince Charming would come along and give me everything I wanted. Unfortunately, I was too young and naive to plan for what would happen if Prince Charming didn't want the same things I did.    

And really, it's not like I can fault Justin. He's never actually come out and said "I don't want to get married."     

But, he's never said he wants to either, and that worries me a bit.    

You'd think, that if that's what he wants, we would have talked about it, atleast once.    

But then again, he is a man after all and they never seem able to articulate their thoughts. So, either I need to just be happy with the status of our relationship at the moment, or I need to ask him, flat out, if we have a future together.    

I know he'll be completely honest with me. I'm just not so sure I'll like his answer.

***************    

Call me crazy, but I want this night to be perfect.    

When my shift ended two hours early, I decided that tonight's the night. I'm going to lay all the cards on the table. I'm going to tell Justin what I want, and if he isn't on board, then maybe we need to re-think this thing all together.     

The chicken in the oven smells amazing, the house is spotless and both our plates, glasses and silverware are laid neatly on the table. I'd like to think I've set the perfect mood to do this.    

I don't want to make this some dramatic, over blown issue. I just want to have a simple discussion about it, and we'll go from there. I'm more than willing to hear what he has to say about it.    

Honestly, maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe we both want the same exact things, and we've just never had the time to sit down and really talk it out. Or, maybe he just isn't ready yet.     

And if that's the case, I'll wait. Not forever, mind you, but I'll wait.    

The dogs bolt for the door suddenly and I take that as my cue. I smooth out the wrinkles in my slacks and head for the hallway, ready to meet him at the door.    

In a matter of minutes, he strolls in and pays the dogs their usual greeting, before he smiles warmly at me and plants a quick kiss on my forehead.    

"You're home early."    

"Yeah... we were having a really slow night, so they sent me on my way." I shrug as I follow him through the house as he hangs his jacket up, and drops his keys on the living room table.    

"Cool." He nods. "Something smells fucking amazing. You make chicken?"    

"Yeah, it'll be ready in a few. I actually wanted to talk about something."

"Shoot." He smiles as he plops down on the couch.    

"Tell ya what... you change and do whatever, then we'll talk, alright?"    

"Cool." He shrugs before heading for the steps.    

I know it sounds stupid, but I'm a little nervous about this.    

I mean... how the hell do you just come out and say, "marry me, or dump me."    

The fact is, I don't want to end things with him. But if we both want different things, what's the point in staying together?    

The timer dings loudly and I pull the chicken out of the oven and quickly dish it out onto our plates. Just as I finish pouring us each a glass of wine, Justin pads into the dining room and takes his seat, an appreciative grin on his face.     

"This looks awesome."    

"Yeah well, I do what I can."    

He nods slowly and takes a bite, before shooting me that questioning glare I've come to know so well. "So... what's up?"    

"Well.. I... I've been thinking about some things, and I've noticed some things lately, and I think we need to talk about it."        

This is the one thing I've always loved about our relationship. We never dance around things. Even during our fights, we get right to the point. And it looks like this won't be any different.    

Which is a blessing and a curse, I suppose.    

"I just... we've been together four years Justin. And that's a pretty long damn time to stay the way we are, ya know? I just think maybe we need to discuss our future." I nod, satisfied with my little speech and eye him carefully.     

I know people always say the way to tell what a person's really thinking, is in the eyes, but with Justin... I've learned it's in the way he tilts his head.     

If he tilts it to the right, he's confused and hasn't got the slightest clue what to say. If it's to the left, he thinks the person talking to him is a complete moron. When he tilts his head back, he's on the verge of laughing his ass off, and if it's forward.. he's about to launch into a tirade.    

But, if he doesn't move an inch, there's no telling what the hell he's about to say.    

And I bet you'll never guess which way he's tilting his head now.     

I thought I'd be able to read his reaction perfectly after I said those words, but the fact that he hasn't moved is slowly pushing me toward a nervous breakdown.     

I don't know what he's going to say or do, and that's a little scary.    

"Mia..." He sighs and rubs his face tiredly. "I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to-"

"I want to know if we're going to get married Justin." I groan and roll my eyes.    

I'm not sure how much more obvious I could have made it, but if he didn't get the hint the first time around, I'd guess that did the trick.     

"Why?"    

"Why?" I scoff and shake my head. "Because.. because I want to. I've wanted to get married since I was a little girl. I want a wedding, and kids, and the white picket fence, and every other cliche you see in the movies."    

"Do you know what the divorce rate is? I mean seriously. Most people who get married, don't stay together. What's wrong with the way things are now? We're together, we're happy. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere. Why screw with perfection?"    

"You call this perfect?" I chuckle and roll my eyes. "Justin.. we are not perfect."

"Not exactly, no." He smiles and shrugs. "But, I like where we are. There are plenty of people who are just happy to be together. Mia.. I love you, just you, alright? I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that."    

"What if I do?"    

He bites hip lip and looks away from me, and I can feel the knots building in my stomach. I knew this wasn't going to end well, but I just had to go and open my big mouth anyway.     

"I don't really know what you want me to say or do here. Getting married could ruin everything we have right now. Do you really want to do that?"        

"Well, no. But.."    

Just as I'm about to list the reasons I want to get married and how I think it could improve our relationship in the long run, the phone rings, and he darts off to answer it.     

He may think that was the end of this conversation, but he's dead wrong.    

We're going to reach a solution to this, one way or another.