"Mia... you have a visitor." Carly's sing-song voice carries across the nurses station and I roll my eyes.     

She really is an odd creature.     

I turn around and the small smile immediately falls from my face. I guess I should have figured he'd pull something like this.     

My eyes pass over the lilies in his right hand and the pint of Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup in the left.    

Oh damn... he's good. He knows exactly when to pull out the big guns.    

"You gone to lunch yet?"    

"No."    

"Want to? This is gonna melt soon."    

"Yeah, sure." I shrug and grab my purse and jacket. "I'll be back Car."

"Take your time." She calls over her shoulder as we head down the hall.    

Neither of us says a word as we pass the maternity ward, radiology unit, then stop in front of the cafeteria. I jerk the door open and walk inside, Justin trailing behind me, eyes glued to the floor.     

I'll give him credit for knowing he screwed up and bringing flowers and ice cream, but it's going to take a lot more than my two favorite things in the world to fix this.    

Ya know... it's almost funny, in this sad sort of way, that a fight over a stereo turned into this.     

I grab two spoons and plant myself at a table in the corner, unable to hide my smile as he passes me the container of ice cream.     

I dig out my first spoonful and watch him closely. He's got that kind of pained look on his face, like somebody just stepped on his foot and the wrinkles in his forehead seem to be multiplying every second.     

"So..."    

"Mia... I'm sorry." He sighs, finally bringing himself to look me in the eyes. "I was acting like a jackass the other night.. and.. you didn't deserve it. I just... I don't want to get married sweetheart... I'm sorry."    

"What does this have to do with the stereo?"    

"Nothing. I just... that's what everything boils down to, ya know? You want to get married. I don't. That's a big fucking problem and we're both pissed off, and we're gonna blow everything out of proportion because of it."    

"Then what do you suggest we do? Because honestly Justin... I think you want to get married. Maybe not now... maybe not for another ten years, but I think you do and you're too damn scared to admit it. And if that's what it is... fine. I'll wait. I just... I need to know that's where we're gonna end up. Otherwise... maybe we need to just realize we're wasting our time."    

"We're not wasting our time." He sighs and shakes his head. "Mia... I love you. Why isn't that good enough? Why can't you just be happy to be with me? A ring on your finger doesn't fucking change anything!"    

Maybe he's right.    

I mean... things are pretty ok the way they are now. We're together, we're happy for the most part. Neither one of us is going anywhere. Even I'm not really sure why I feel the need to have a ring on my finger.    

I just... I want the wedding. I want the dress and the cake, the band, the ice sculptures. I want the chance to stand up in front of everyone I've ever known and show them just how much I love this man.     

If he loves me as much as he says he does, why can't he do this one simple thing for me? If he doesn't want to be with anyone else, why is this such an issue?    

"If it doesn't change anything... then why are you so against it?"    

"I don't believe in marriage." He shrugs. "I watched my parents go through hell when they got divorced and I always swore I'd never set myself up for that. What if we get married and suddenly realize it doesn't work? I don't want to deal with that."

"Funny... I thought the last four years were proof that it does work."    

"You're not listening to me." He mutters and rolls his eyes. "Mia... people are together for fucking ever and they get married, and suddenly it all goes to shit, then they end up hating each other and they're fucking miserable. Do you really want that to happen to us? Because if you do... fine, I'll go buy you a god damn ring right now. Hell... I'll book us a flight to Vegas. We can elope tonight."        

"Don't be a jerk." I roll my eyes and fold my arms over my chest.     

"Oh... I try to give you what you want and I'm an asshole? What do you want from me Mia?"    

"I want you to be honest for two damn seconds!" That comes out a little louder than I intended and I duck my head when I notice everyone in the cafeteria staring at us. "I just.. I want you to tell me the truth. Either you want to marry me or you don't."    

"What if I don't?"    

"Then... then maybe... maybe I need to... maybe I need to find someone who does." I clasp my hands together, praying for them to stop shaking.         

There... I said it.    

It's all up to him now.     

He can tell me the truth and we can end this right here and now, or we can keep on lying to ourselves and each other, thinking this is actually going to go somewhere.    

I don't doubt that he wants me to stay, but he needs to wake up to the fact that this isn't just about him. Why should I sacrifice what I want just to keep him happy?    

But, on the same side of that, why should he sacrifice what he wants to make me happy?    

See... this whole thing is so wide open. Neither of us is right, but neither of us is wrong either.     

We're just... different. Maybe we're too different.    

"Mia..." He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "I don't want that... you know I don't want that. I don't want anybody else. I want you."    

"But you won't marry me."    

"I'm not marrying anybody else either, am I?" He cracks.    

If I wasn't so damn mad, I'd probably find that slightly amusing. But... this is so not the time for him to do the charming funny guy thing.     

"Either you want to, or you don't. Just say it."    

"Look... I don't know, alright? At the moment... yeah, I'm against it. But... maybe it'll change, maybe it won't. I can't tell you how I'm going to feel in five minutes, let alone five years. All I can tell you is how I feel right now. And, right now... I don't want to get married... but I don't want you to leave either."    

I nod slowly, replacing the lid on my ice cream, refusing to meet his eyes. I would love to be angry. I'd love to yell and scream at him, maybe even slap him. But, he's just made a point that's impossible to argue with.    

I mean... how do you demand that someone makes a decision, when they haven't got a clue what they want?    

Like he said... he can't predict the future.     

He could wake up tomorrow and decide he does want the same things I do. Or... in ten years, I could finally realize that it's never going to happen and move on.    

The fact is, neither of us really knows what's going to happen, and the only way to find out is to ride it out and see where we end up.