“Where are we going?”

Rachel moved the car out of the driveway and headed toward downtown L.A. “I need to get some samples for the fall collection of Rast.  Then I have to bring some paper work by the Tennman office.  I also need to do a little grocery shopping.”  She glanced over at Adah who was hiding behind her sunglasses.  “Is that okay with you?”

The other girl shrugged.  “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Adah,” Rachel sighed, taking another glance at the girl next to her.  “I’m sorry about upsetting you before.  I thought you’d spoken to Justin.  I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

“He wants to go public?”  Adah felt the fear clench at her chest again, turning her stomach.  “He said that?”

“He said that he was thinking about giving Emma his name.  When we talked we discussed the fact that it would mean going public in a way.  I shouldn’t have phrased it like that.”  Rachel felt like she was driving with her foot in her mouth.  It was rather awkward and more than uncomfortable.

Adah took a deep breath.  “He never mentioned it to me.”  She couldn’t help but turn and look at her baby, asleep in the car seat behind her.  “I don’t know…I don’t think I could handle that.”

“He’s not going to ask you to do anything that you can’t handle.  I know that much.”  Rachel turned down the street she was looking for, pulling into a parking spot in front of the warehouse that held the William Rast offices.  “It’s going to be a little while.  Do you want to come in?”

“Is that okay?”  She looked back at Emma again, who was now awake and watching out the window.

“Yeah, there shouldn’t be many people here.  I think Trace is here, too, and I know he loves seeing Emma.”

After a moment of thought, Adah climbed out of the car and grabbed Emma, opting to carry the baby in her arms instead of using the carrier.  She followed Rachel into the building, still worried that this was a bad idea.  The building was a lot like what she imagined a warehouse would look like, filled with boxes, shelving and the like.  Down the hallway there were offices and work rooms, and Adah couldn’t believe the piles of clothing she saw.

“Emma!”  A voice called from her right, and Adah stopped to see Trace getting up from a desk to rush over to them.  “It’s my favorite niece!”  He reached out for the baby, giving Adah a big smile.  “Hey girl, what brings you here?”

Adah handed Emma over, smiling for the first time in a while.  “I’m tagging along with Rachel.  She said she had to grab some samples.”

Trace gave her a look.  “Rachel, huh?”  His focus turned back to Emma, who was grabbing at the scruff on his face.

“Yeah, I had a mini meltdown and she brought me along.  I think she was afraid to leave me alone.”  Trace moved out of the office, ushering Adah along with him.

“Everything okay?”  He seemed genuinely concerned and Adah was happy she came inside.  It was good to see Trace.  He’d been on her side throughout the whole pregnancy and everything and she trusted him.

“Eh, I guess so.  Rachel just dropped a bomb that Justin was thinking about giving Emma his name and going public.  It made me freak out a little.”

His eyes widened.  “Well, shit, that’s a terrible idea.”  He headed down the hallway, further into the building.  “Have you talked to Justin about it?”

“No,” she shook her head.  “He called me to come watch Emma so Rachel could run errands and when I got there she mistook my stress about something else for Justin talking to me.”  She gave him a sheepish grin.  “I guess I got a little out of hand.”

Trace laughed, nudging Adah’s shoulder with his own.  “It happens to the best of us, and this is something you’re allowed to freak about.  I wouldn’t worry, though.  Just talk it through with Justin.  He’ll probably explain things and you’ll feel better.”

“I hope you’re right.”  The finally entered a room where there were three other people working at computers.  Adah followed Trace, spotting Rachel talking with someone in the corner.

A couple of the room’s occupants looked up, surprise showing on their faces as they noticed Trace holding Emma.  He eagerly showed her off, though, introducing her a his niece and no one seemed to question him.  They all cooed over the baby, complementing Adah when Trace mentioned that she was Emma’s mother.  Adah felt that she was holding her breath the entire time, waiting for someone to bring up Justin’s name and make a connection, but no one did.  They all went back to their work, leaving Trace and Adah alone after the initial introductions.

A few minutes later Rachel came over, her hands full of bags.  “Ready to go?”  She asked Adah after saying hello to Trace.

The three of them made their way back outside, and Adah felt herself tense again.  Normally she didn’t hesitate to go about her day, but being with Rachel and Trace made her concerned.  She kept waiting for someone to jump out with a camera, or to yell out the she was toting around Justin Timberlake’s baby.  Her fears were unfounded because no one paid them any mind, but she couldn’t seem to get her body to relax.

She climbed in the car after saying goodbye to Trace, sad to be leaving his company behind.  He made her feel a little more comfortable with things.

“Relax, Adah.  I can hear you clenching your teeth from here and it’s giving me the willies.”  Rachel’s voice broke Adah from her thoughts and she blushed.

“I’m sorry.  I’m just really stressed right now.”  She took a deep breath, hoping to force some calm into her rigid muscles.  “I’ve seen what it’s like for Justin and I don’t want that around our baby.  I just…I couldn’t do that to her.”

“If it makes you feel any better, no one recognizes me even if I’m with Justin, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”  They merged onto the highway, moving into traffic and heading farther into the city.  “I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, but stressing out over it isn’t going to make it any better.  Relax.  Talk with Justin when he gets home and I’m sure you two can figure something out.”

“I suppose you’re right.”  Adah conceded.

“No supposing about it, my dear.  I’m right.”  Rachel grinned over at her passenger.  “Now, I order you to relax and enjoy the sunshine.  No more pouting today.”

“Yes ma’am.”

~*~

“She’s passed out.”  Adah whispered, gently extracting Emma from her car seat and following Rachel back into the house.  They’d managed to get all of Rachel’s errands done in pretty good time.  “Is there somewhere I can put her down?”

Rachel pointed to the staircase.  “Her nursery is the second door on the left.  Go on up.”

Adah ascended the stairs, feeling slightly strange as she did so.  She’d never been anywhere in the house other than the foyer, kitchen and back yard.  She felt a little like she was snooping, but she really did need to get Emma down so she could properly nap.

The door was cracked open, so Adah pushed it with her foot, her jaw dropping as she stepped inside.  The walls were painted with a mural that stretched around the entire space.  Fields dotted with white sheep, trees and bushes filled in empty spaces, and the blue skies were filled with fluffy with clouds.  It was a beautiful scene.  The room itself was furnished simple, white furniture.  Emma’s crib was off to the side, her bedding matching the mural on the walls.  Adah gently set the baby down, watching to make sure she stayed asleep.

When she was certain that Emma was okay, Adah took some time to explore.  The dresser was covered in framed pictures.  Justin and Emma on the day she was born; Lynn, Justin and Emma together; there was even a picture of Adah, Justin and Emma when they’d left the hospital together.  It brought tears to her eyes as she thought about the love and care that had gone into everything in this room.

Adah wandered further around the room, pulling open the closet and peeking into drawers.  Her curiosity led her over to another door, and she opened it carefully, feeling as if she were snooping.  She had obviously found Justin’s room, the masculine smell of him hitting her in the face as she opened the door.  His room was exactly as she’d pictured it; dark brown hardwood floors, light oak furniture, and earth toned walls and bedding.  It screamed relaxation and comfort, and it also screamed Justin. 

Adah backed out of the room, feeling like she was intruding.  Crossing to the other side of the room, she pulled open the only door she hadn’t looked behind yet.  She was surprised to find another bedroom, this one painted in tranquil colors.  It had a feminine touch and she wondered if it was Rachel’s room, but a memory popped into her mind and she instantly knew it was hers.  Justin had told her when they were in the hospital that he’d had his house re-modeled so she could have her own space there.  Letting her curiosity get the better of her, she entered the room, taking her time looking around.

More pictures were hanging on the walls, black and white photos taken of Emma, obviously by a professional.  She smiled at the images of her baby girl grinning and laughing.

Further into the room there was a set of thick, overstuffed chairs with a low coffee table and some lamps.  Adah thought that this would make a perfect reading corner.  She glanced at the bed, noting that it looked like the most comfortable thing she’d ever seen in her life.  She was tempted to jump on it and test the fluffy-ness, but a noise from behind her halted her movements.

“Hey.”  Justin’s voice was soft but it startled her none the less.

“Shit, you scared me.”  She placed her hand on her racing heart, suddenly feeling uncomfortable for intruding.  “I was just looking…”  She moved toward the door but Justin stopped her with a look.

“It’s okay.  It’s your room.”  He walked over to the chairs, running his hand along the back.  “I talked with Rachel.  I’m sorry about worrying you.”  The look on his face spoke volumes and Adah found that she couldn’t be mad at him even if she tried.

“It’s okay, but just freaked me out, that’s all.”  She stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of herself.  Justin motioned to the chairs and sat down, waiting for her to join him.

“I just want you to know I’d never do anything concerning Emma without asking you first.  She’s our daughter and we can make decisions together.”

“I know.  There’s a lot going on in my head right now and when Rachel mentioned you wanting to go public…I…I lost it.”

He tried to hide his grin, but he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his lips.  “Yeah, she told me.  You made Emma cry.”

“Hey!”  She grabbed the decorative pillow next to her and chucked it at him, laughing in spite of herself.  “I was stressed!” 

He chuckled a few more times, gaining back his composure.  “Is everything else okay?  She mentioned that you’ve got a lot going on.”

Adah shrugged, not sure how much she wanted to get into this with Justin, but knowing she needed to talk with someone about it.  Maybe he could make sense of things for her.  “Sam and Brett told me that they don’t want to renew the lease on the apartment.  I guess Sam wants to move in with her boyfriend, and Brett is looking to find something closer to work.  I think they were just finding a nice way to tell me they didn’t want to live with me and Emma anymore.”

“I’m sure that’s not it,”  Justin countered, knowing that Brett and Sam cared about Adah more than anyone else.  “It could just be time for a change.”

“Change sucks.”  She tried to smile, but this time she failed.  “I just…I don’t have any family, I don’t have a job, and I have no idea what I’m going to do without the two of them by my side.  I don’t think I could get a place on my own right now.  It’s really stressing me out.”

Justin licked his lips, hoping not to set her off again.  “You’re always welcome here, Adah.  This is your room and it will stay that way.  I know your reasons for not living with me and I respect them, but I don’t want you to think you don’t have any place to go.  This is your space and it’s here for you when you need it.”

Adah couldn’t say anything to that.  Her mind was heavy with thoughts and there was a tiny piece of her that thought living with him would be a good idea.  She was fighting that piece of her with everything she had.  Living with Justin would only add complications to their already strange relationship and she didn’t want to deal with that, too.  It was too much.

Emma cried from the nursery and Justin stood.  “I’ll get her.  You hang out here as long as you need to.  We’ll be down stairs.”

Justin left the room, leaving Adah with her thoughts.  She suddenly felt so heavy.