"I'm not pregnant." She told him quietly, her bottom lip trembling slightly. 

JC dropped to his knees as he felt a distinct sense of disappointment fill him.  Her admission last night had taken him by surprise, but after the shock had worn off JC had found himself actually excited at the prospect.  Sure, the timing was horrible, but they would have worked it out.  He put his arms around Rachel as she fell against him, wrapping her arms around him. 

"I must have...counted wrong." She told him, her voice wavering slightly as he tightened his arms around her.  "It was probably just all of the stress lately." She continued, trying to explain. 

"I'm sorry." He told her, turning his head to brush his lips against her temple.  He heard her breath hitch softly and her arms tighten around him. 

"It's okay." Rachel insisted, pulling away from him.  JC watched her with suspicious eyes as she sniffed a few times and squared her shoulders.  "It was bad timing.  It's...it's better this way." She told him--her words of assurance to him completely contradicting the sadness and disappointment he could see in her eyes.  For all her tears and worry last night, she had wanted to be pregnant.

JC placed his hands on her face and pulled her close.  Pressing his lips against hers he kissed her warmly.  "After the tour," He told her when he pulled back, looking into her beautiful eyes.  "After everything settles down and I'm home, and you won't be here by yourself, we can start trying for real.  Okay?"  She nodded and he kissed her again.  "We're still going out tonight." He continued.  Rachel looked at him in surprise.  "I've got it all planned and it's been way too long since you and I have gone out on a date."  He stated.  Rachel's lips lifted slightly, though the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.  "We need to get out and have some fun." He smiled.  "Will you go out with me tonight?" He asked, brushing his thumbs across her cheeks.  She nodded.  Letting go of her, he stood then reached down and pulled her to her feet in front of him.  "I'm going to take a quick shower." He told her.  "Then we can go."

"What should I wear?" She asked.  "Where are we going?" 

"We're going to this great jazz restaurant I heard about." He replied as his lips lifted suddenly in a devilish grin.

"What?" Rachel asked, warily.

"You know that blue number you wore last year to that dinner when I signed the deal for my solo album?"  He asked.  She nodded.  "That's what I want you to wear."

Rachel's eyes narrowed as she cocked her head to the side and looked at him.  "Okay." She replied.  "But only if you do me a favor."

"Anything." He promised, willing to do whatever it took to make her happy.

She smiled, this time a spark of mischief lit up her eyes and he couldn't help smiling in return.  "Wear your glasses tonight." She requested.

"You got it, Sass." He replied as he leaned forward, capturing her lips once again with his.  "You got it."  

~~~~~~~~

Rachel turned and slid her hand into JC's, allowing him to help her from the car.  JC let go of her hand as he shut the car door then put one arm around her waist and pulled her firmly against his side--his lips brushing against her ear.

"Vous etes tres belle" You are beautiful.

A shiver ran down her spine as she pulled back to look at him.  "You are dangerous." she answered.  JC smiled as he leaned down, giving her a quick kiss.  Over the last couple years Rachel had taught him a few phrases in French, and he understood some of the basics, but every once in a while JC would surprise her with something she hadn't taught him--making her feel like he truly loved her.  Why else would a guy go to the trouble of learning to speak a foreign language when he didn't have to?

JC kept his arm around her--his fingers lightly gripping her waist--as they walked towards the front door of the restaurant.  Rachel turned to look at him, her heart fluttering in her chest as she took in his appearance again.  As she had requested, he had worn his glasses tonight instead of his contacts, and she smiled.  He didn't wear them nearly often enough in her opinion and the black leather jacket he had on just added to his appeal.  He was a very attractive man and she still couldn't believe sometimes that they were getting married; or that she had believed she was going to have his baby.  Until a few hours ago.  She thought with a sigh. 

When she had come to the realization yesterday about how late she was, Rachel had been shocked and overwhelmed, believing there was no way she could handle having a baby right now--and it had only been a few days ago that she had been complaining about that paparazzi assuming she was pregnant!--but then when she'd discovered she wasn't pregnant, she had been surprisingly let down.  JC's promise as he had knelt on the bathroom floor in front of her that, once things settled down and he was done with the tour, they could really try to have a baby made the disappointment not as hard to handle. 

Rachel paused as JC reached out, moving his hand to rest at the small of her back as he opened the door for her.  Rachel smiled up at him and then walked into the restaurant.  She stopped as they stepped inside--looking around in amazement.  "This place is great!" She exclaimed.  The subdued lighting and rich, warm colors on the walls and decorations--along with the live music being played by the musicians up on the stage--all added to the ambience and Rachel decided, on the spot, that this was now officially her favorite restaurant. 

"I knew you'd like it." JC replied as he kissed her cheek.  He turned and gave his name to the hostess who smiled and led them back towards their table.

"Thank you." Rachel told him, reaching for his hand as they were seated across from each other at the small table. 

JC gave her fingers a squeeze as he lifted her hand and pressed his lips to the back of it.  "I'm sorry you've been so stressed out and overwhelmed lately." He told her.  "And I'm sorry I missed the appointment with the caterer yesterday."

"It's okay." Rachel replied.

"No, it's not." JC shook his head.  "I let you down and I'm sorry." Rachel looked down at the table.  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth--wondering if she should ask the question currently spinning around in her head.  "You okay?" He asked.

Rachel looked up at him, meeting his blue eyes.  "Jace, do you..." She paused.  "I'm going to ask you a question and I need an honest answer.  Do you want to marry me?" She asked. 

"What kind of question is that?" JC asked, looking at her in surprise.  "Of course I want to marry you!  I asked you, didn't I?" 

"Yes." She nodded.  "But lately...lately it just seems like..." Rachel paused, trying to gather her thoughts.  "A lot of the time it seems like you could care less about everything."  He sighed as she continued.  "I ask for your opinion on stuff and you tell me you don't care, or to just do whatever I want but I want to know what you want." She told him.  "It's not just about me.  This is your wedding too and if you don't want to get married then just tell me." She watched as his eyes dropped down to the table and mentally kicked herself for ruining their night out before it had even started.  They hadn't even ordered drinks yet and here she was causing trouble.

"I don't want a big wedding, Rach." JC finally admitted, glancing up at her hesitantly.  "Before you came along, I never really thought about getting married.  But when the thought did cross my mind, I just assumed it would be a small family event with a few close friends invited--not the entire music industry and anyone and everyone I've ever talked to in my entire life."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Rachel asked, looking at him in question. 

He shrugged.  "You started planning and...weddings mean more to girls and I figured it's your day, so you can do whatever you want."

"It's not my day." Rachel replied, leaning over the table towards him.  "It's our day.  I don't want to do something that's going to make you miserable or uncomfortable."

"You've already sent out all the announcements, though." He stated.  "So we're kind of stuck with things how they are."

"No we're not." She countered with a shake of her head. 

"We're not?" He questioned.

"No.  I haven't mailed them yet.  I was going to do it yesterday, but then everything happened and I just didn't get around to it.  We can still change things."

"You're okay with changing things?" He asked. 

"Everything except my dress." She replied with a smile.  "That's the only thing I've bought that I can't really return and I don't want to."  JC looked at her--relief written all over his face.  Rachel hadn't realized until right then that he had been just as stressed about the wedding as she had been--it was just for different reasons.  Of course he didn't want a big wedding!  The man was practically a hermit--preferring to stay home and out of the public eye unless it had something directly to do with his career.  She should have known that he wouldn't be happy or comfortable with a big event, and truth be told she felt a giant sense of relief wash over her knowing that she didn't have so much to plan anymore.

"But you've gone through so much trouble already planning everything." He said.  "Are you sure--"

"I'm an event planner, Jace." She smiled.  "Planning is what I do.  It's not like we're calling the whole thing off--I'm just going to be making different plans now."  JC smiled.  "Only this time," she continued as she let go of his hand and finally picked up her menu.  "I want your help.  When I ask you what you want I need you to be honest with me."

"Deal." He nodded as he picked up his own menu. 

"For starters," Rachel began.  "Where do you want to get married?  Since we're not going to do something big anymore, we can change the place.  What are you thinking?"

They discussed different wedding venue options--tossing around ideas on everywhere from the beach to doing it back home in Maryland--as they each looked over the menu, ordering their food when their waiter appeared.  But soon the conversation left the topic of the wedding and moved to the tour starting soon, Rachel's trouble finding a place to open up her shop, different current events going on, and anything else they felt like talking about.  As Rachel cut into the steak she had ordered and took a bite, she smiled.  Just like last night, when they had gone out for ice cream and then had sat and talked like a normal couple, she realized how much she had missed just being with him like this.  With everything going on in their lives, it was hard to remember that they really were just a regular couple that enjoyed and needed to spend time with each other.  He made her laugh, he wasn't afraid to challenge her opinions, and they never had a hard time coming up with things to talk about.  Aside from Megan, JC truly was her best friend and at the end of the day he was the one she wanted to spend her time with. 

~~~~~~~~~

JC wiped his mouth with his napkin then placed it on the table as he took the last bite of his salmon.  He picked up his wine glass, his eyes watching the woman seated across from him, as he took a sip.  She was breathtaking.  The dress she was wearing was one of his favorites--the dark blue of the material looked amazing against her skin and the fabric clung to her beautiful curves perfectly.  She had pulled her hair up, allowing a few tendrils to frame her face and his mouth watered as his eyes roamed down her neck and across her shoulders.  She was incredible, and she was his!  He wanted to pinch himself sometimes, to assure himself that he wasn't dreaming; that this actually was his life and he really had found her--a beautiful, sexy, smart, funny and sassy woman who loved him as much as he loved her.  All the struggles and heartache he'd been through in the past had been worth it, to get to her.  Rachel's eyes met his and she smiled softly.  JC sat back in his chair as he continued to watch her.    

"Do I have food on my face?" Rachel asked with a self-conscious chuckle as she brought her napkin up to her mouth.

"No." He shook his head.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She questioned.

"I'm trying to convince myself that this isn't a dream." He told her.  "Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" He asked.

"Yes." Rachel smiled as she nodded.  "And in a foreign language, too." She reminded him. 

"Dance with me?" He asked, holding out his hand to her.  It had been a while since they had last dance together and JC wanted to hold her close; to feel her body moving with his. 

Rachel looked around the restaurant.  "Are we allowed to dance?" She asked.  "No one else is."

"I don't care." JC replied.  "I'm sitting here with the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.  We're in a romantic restaurant with some great jazz music playing and I want to dance."

Rachel smiled, her cheeks warming slightly as she placed her hand in his.  "You're a terrible liar." She told him as she stood in front of him.

"I've never lied to you." JC replied as he put one arm around her waist as he took a hold of her hand with the other and began to dance with her right there by their table.  "Why would I start now?"

"There is no way that I am ‘the most beautiful woman' you've ever seen." She told him as she would her free arm around his neck, her fingers beginning to play with his hair.  "That's impossible."

"How do you know?" He asked.  "Have you seen every woman I've ever seen?"

"No." She shook her head with a laugh, their eyes remaining locked on each other.  "But I've seen the women you've dated and been pictured with in the past."

"You're the one, Sass." He told her as he pulled the hand he was holding up and tucked it between them.  "Although..." He drawled and she looked up at him sharply.  "There was this brunette I met a few years ago at this wedding I went to." He mused, looking suddenly thoughtful.  He watched as the corners of her mouth twitched up slightly.  "She was the best friend of the bride and the Maid of Honor..." he let out a sigh as he shook his head.  "I had a hard time keeping my hands off of her."

The smile that Rachel been trying to hold back broke out as JC tightened his arm around her--pulling her more fully against him.  "I've wanted you from the moment I met you, Rachel." He confessed, his eyes boring into hers.  "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

Rachel pulled him down to place a warm kiss to his mouth.  "Mon destin est dans des vos bras." She breathed, her lips moving against his. 

"I don't what that means," JC replied, nibbling at her lips.  "But I love it when you speak French." He all but growled quietly.

Rachel giggled as she kissed him again.  "Roughly translated it means: my destiny is in your arms." She told him then rested her head against his shoulder.  JC lowered his head as he closed his eyes, his nose brushing against hers.

"I'm going to miss you, Sass." He told her quietly.  She tightened her hold on him.  "Are you sure you don't want to come out on the road with me?"

~~~~~~~

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Joshua, please." Rachel pled, pulling back to look at him.  "We both know I can't be your permanent groupie the rest of my life."  No matter how much I want to.  She thought.

"Why not?" He asked.  "I've got my own bus this time." He released her hand, bringing his fingers up to touch her face.  "What am I going to do every night after the show?"

"Call me." She stated. 

"It's not the same." He replied, the look in his blue eyes making her stomach quiver.  "There's only so much you can do over the phone..."

Rachel rolled her eyes though she couldn't help the smile that came to her lips, or the blush she felt warming her cheeks.  "You'll survive." She assured him.

"I don't think I will." He shook his head.  "Six weeks is a long time..."

"Then I'm just going to have to surprise you now and then, aren't I?" She replied.  JC quirked up a brow in sudden interest. 

"I like the sound of that." He told her, his arm pulling her against him more fully.  "I like finding you in my hotel room when I least expect it." He grinned mischievously. 

"I know you do." Rachel laughed as she reached a hand up, her fingers brushing through his dark hair.  "The six weeks are going to go by quicker than you think," she told him.  "Then we'll be getting married and be on our honeymoon and you're going to be home until the end of July." 

"But then I'm going to be over in Europe." He reminded her. 

She placed her fingers over his lips.  "I don't want to think about that right now." She told him.  They continued dancing quietly--just looking at each other, until the musicians up on stage finished their set.  As he stopped dancing Rachel smiled as she put her hand on his face.  "You're amazing." She told him.  "Everything I ever dreamed of, and so much more."  JC lifted one hand as he brushed his thumb across her cheek, his blue eyes full of nothing but love and adoration as he looked down at her.  "I love you, JC Chasez." She stated.  "More than I ever thought it was possible to love someone."

"The feeling is mutual." He replied as he placed a soft kiss to her lips.  "Let's go home." JC said as he finally pulled away from her.  "I want to make the most of the time we have left together."

Rachel smiled, her heart skipping in her chest as he signaled for the waiter to bring their check.  As they left the restaurant, she pulled her phone from the small clutch she had brought, to check for messages.  One missed call. She followed JC to the car as she put the phone to her ear to listen to the voicemail she had received--the feeling of contentment evaporating as Megan's mother's voice came through the phone.

"Stop." Rachel breathed.  She reached out, grabbing onto JC's arm.

"What?" He asked, turning to look at her as she tightened her grip on him.

"Megan..." Rachel breathed as she let go of JC and put her hand to her chest to stop the sudden pain as she finished listening to the message.  I have to wake up.  She thought as tears came to her eyes.  This has to be a bad dream. 

"Rachel?" JC asked at her continued silence.  "What's wrong?"

She finally looked up at him, her eyes meeting his.  "Take me to the airport." She told him.  "I have to get to Phoenix."

~~~~~~~~

"Megan?"

Jackson's voice cracked as he said her name aloud.  The sterile silence of the hospital room they were in was the only response to his question.  He stood up from the chair he'd been sitting in all night and stepped towards the bed where she lay. 

"Megan?" He asked again--his hand reaching for hers-but she remained still; her beautiful eyes remaining closed to him.  Jackson closed his eyes as well, in an attempt to keep the tears at bay.  He brought the hand of hers that he was holding up to his chest as he reached his other hand out--his fingers brushing across her cheek.  "Stay with me." He pled quietly as he leaned down, pressing his lips against her forehead.  "I need you." He whispered.

Jackson pulled back and looked down at the woman who had stolen his heart the first time he'd seen her almost four years ago.  He felt a tear slip down his cheek as the doctor's words from earlier ran through his head.  Ruptured ectopic pregnancy...emergency surgery...extensive blood loss...

He choked back a sob. 

When Megan had collapsed in his arms last night he had been terrified.  He had gotten home early, his heart jumping in his chest at seeing her car parked in the driveway.  When he had found her in Scott's bedroom--standing in front of the dresser--he had been glued in place.  He watched her, wishing he could read her thoughts.  He had tried, every day since she had walked out on him, to get her to listen to him--to give him a chance to explain and apologize--but she had refused to see him.  Jackson had been at his wits end, trying to come up with a way to see her, to talk to her, and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.  He had sent a silent prayer of gratitude heavenward at being given this answer to his prayers.

His heart had dropped to the pit of his stomach though, as he had watched her take off her wedding ring and set it on top of the dresser.  His hopes of being able to reconcile with her fading as he looked down at his own ring--how was he supposed to win her back if she was so ready to write him off and be done with him?  His moment of self-pity however, evaporated as Megan had suddenly bent over in pain.  And now, here they were--ten hours and one emergency surgery later.  She had been pregnant but neither one of them had known about it or the danger she had been in.  The realization still left him reeling.

Jackson sunk down in the chair again--his hand still clutching Megan's.  He rested his elbows on the bed as he raised her hand to his lips, his other hand reaching out to once more touch her face.  Jackson sniffed and wiped away the tears that had fallen, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. 

"I am so sorry." He told her, his voice quiet as he scooted closer to her.  "About everything.  I love you and I have been miserable without you."  He was quiet for a moment fighting back his emotion.  "Please don't leave me." He pled.  He couldn't survive without her.  She was his life--his very reason for living.  "I need you." He continued.  "Megan..." he paused, chocking back his tears.  "Please."  He leaned his head down and rested it against her shoulder finally allowing the tears to fall. 

~~~~~~~~

"Jackson?" Rachel asked as she reached out and shook his shoulder slightly the next morning.  She watched as he woke up--his hands scrubbing over his face as he sat up--looking at Megan before he looked up at Rachel in confusion. 

"Rachel?" He asked, his brows furrowed.  "What...how did you..."

"Megan's mom called me." She told him as he stood up.  She put her arms around him, hugging him tightly.  "I got here as quickly as I could.  How is she?"

"She hasn't woken up yet." He replied as he stepped back.  "I don't..." His voice cracked and he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck as he turned and looked down at Megan.  "I don't know." He finally said.  "The doctor said she lost a lot of blood, but her vital signs are all okay." He said, trying to sound optimistic.  He looked back at Rachel and she smiled tremulously at him.

"You look terrible." She told him honestly.

"I feel terrible." He replied.

"Why don't you go home and take a shower?" She asked.  "You've been here all night.  I'll stay with her."

"I can't--" he began, shaking his head--panic clearly written across his face. 

"I'll call you if anything happens." Rachel assured him as she put her hand on his arm.  "You're not going to do her any good by not taking care of yourself.  Besides," She continued.  "She's not going to want to wake up to see you looking like this." She teased, and Jackson let out what sounded like a cross between a cry and laugh.  "Go home." Rachel told him.  "Get a few hours of sleep, take a shower, put on some clean clothes then you can come back.  You need to get out of here for at least an hour or two."

"You have my number?" He asked. 

"Yes." She replied with a reassuring smile.  "I'll call you the second anything happens, I promise."

Jackson nodded then turned to face Megan once more.  Rachel watched as he reached a hand out, brushing her hair back from her forehead then leaned over and pressed, first his lips and then his own forehead against hers.  "I love you." He whispered, and Rachel had to blink back the tears at the raw emotion contained in those three little words.  After another moment he finally turned to looked at Rachel again.  "Thank you." He said and she nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment.  She knew how hard it was for him to leave her right now and knew he was only doing it because he trusted Rachel and knew she loved Megan as much as he did.

"I'll see you in a few hours." She finally said.  Jackson nodded then turned and left the room, leaving Rachel alone with Megan.  "Jackson is a complete mess without you." She told Megan as she stepped up to the side of the bed and took her friend's hand in hers.  "I know you two are having some trouble right now, but you should see him." She chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.  "You'd be embarrassed to be seen with him right now."  She stopped, as her breath caught in her throat and a tear fell down her cheek.  "Oh, Megs." She sighed.  "You have to wake up.  You have to be okay.  I can't...I'm not going to be able to handle it if you're not okay." She continued honestly as a tear slipped down her cheek.  "I'm getting married in a few months and I refuse to do it without you there." Rachel sniffed as her tears began falling in earnest.  She wiped them away as she slowly sat down in the chair Jackson had been sitting in moments before, still holding Megan's hand.

She looked around the hospital room, suddenly assaulted with memories of losing her mother.  She hated hospitals and avoided them for that reason--too many painful memories.  She looked back at Megan, praying that this wouldn't turn out to be another painful memory.  "I can't lose you, Megs." She whispered.  "I can't lose you."

~~~~~~~

Jackson stepped out of Megan's hospital room and into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind him.  He scrubbed his hands over his face as he began walking towards the elevators.  As hard as it was to leave her, he knew Rachel was right.  He wasn't going to do Megan any good by not taking care of himself.  He needed to go home and get cleaned up; get something to eat.  He hadn't eaten since lunch the day before and was about to pass out. 

He stopped however as he walked past the small waiting room located on the floor he was on.  He couldn't go home!  He'd ridden over with Megan in the ambulance.  He didn't have his car here, or any way to get home.  Shaking his head he turned to go back to the room but again stopped as his eyes fell on the lone occupant of the waiting room.  The man stood up from the hard plastic chair he had been sitting in and Jackson looked at him in shock. 

"JC?" He asked, watching as the other man walked over to him.  "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for moral support." JC replied.  "Need a ride?" He guessed as he held up a set of car keys.

Jackson nodded.  "Yeah." He cleared his throat.  "I uh...I came over in the ambulance...last night..." Jackson paused, trying to hold back his emotion.  He suddenly remembered the first time he had ever met JC Chasez.  Never in a million years would he have ever guessed that day that the two of them would become connected like they had over the last couple years, or be standing together in a hospital waiting room one day while the woman he loved fought for her life. 

JC reached out, putting his hand on the other guy's shoulder as he turned Jackson around and led him towards the elevators.  "Our rental car is downstairs." He said.  "Let's go."