"Really?" Rachel asked, sitting up on the couch in excitement.

"Mmm-hmm." Megan replied.  "I talked to Jackson the other night and we're moving to California!"

"Ahh!" Rachel exclaimed.  "I'm so excited!  This is going to be great!  Megan and Rachel: Back in Action." She stated, as if reading off the title of the latest summer blockbuster.

Megan laughed.  "Cross your fingers that we can sell our house quickly and find something there that we like."

"They're crossed." Rachel promised.  "And I'll keep my ears and eyes open around the neighborhood."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure we can afford to live in your neighborhood." Megan replied with a chuckle.

"Oh, please!" Rachel scoffed.  "You've got the money."

"That doesn't mean I want to spend it all on a house." Megan told her.  "Plus we have Scotty." She reminded Rachel.  "I want to find a house in a more...family-oriented neighborhood, you know?"

"Good point." Rachel nodded.  "Unfortunately." She grumbled.

Megan laughed.  "This isn't college, Ray.  We can't live together again." She said, reading Rachel's thoughts through the phone line.

Rachel pouted.  "I know." She sighed and Megan laughed again. 

"Have you talked to the loan officer yet?" Megan asked.

"No." Rachel replied.  "Tomorrow."

"Good luck." Megan told her.

"Thanks." Rachel smiled.  "I'll let you know how it goes.  So how's Hawaii?" She asked. 

"Incredible!" Megan sighed.

Rachel chuckled. "That good, huh?"

"Let's just say, we've had a hard time leaving the room." Megan admitted with a giggle and Rachel laughed.  "It's been like a second honeymoon.  This place is amazing!"

"Good." Rachel smiled.

"We're leaving in a little bit to go tour some of the volcanoes on the island." Megan continued. 

"Oooh!" Rachel exclaimed.  "That sounds a lot more fun that what I'm dealing with today.  How about we trade places?" She asked.  "You can come deal with JC and I can go lay on the beach in Hawaii, how does that sound?"

"What's wrong with JC?" Megan laughed.

"He's downstairs in his studio, pouting." Rachel rolled her eyes at JC's childish behavior.  He'd gone to bed angry last night and had been downstairs since waking up this morning.  She had tried going in to talk to him a few hours ago but had found the door locked.  Tempted to try and pick the lock, she had decided to just leave him alone and let him cool off.  At least he won't break anything in there. She thought.  Although technically he could, she knew he wouldn't-all that sound and recording equipment was too expensive to destroy in an irrational fit of anger.

"Why is he pouting?" Megan questioned.  "What did you do?" She teased.

"This time it wasn't me." Rachel promised. 

"What's going on?"

"He's upset about something Justin did.  Last night he threw a fit and told me he was pulling out of the reunion tour." Rachel replied.

"What does he mean, pulling out?" Megan asked.  "Is he serious?  Is he really pulling out?"

"I don't know." Rachel replied with a sigh.

"He can't pull out!"  Megan exclaimed.  "They haven't even started the tour yet!"

"I know." Rachel agreed. 

"They've already released their CD!" Megan continued.

"I know." Rachel replied.

"And they've been doing promotion for it!" Megan reminded her.

"I know, Megs!" Rachel chuckled, at her friend's insistence. "Believe me, I know."

"Well, have you talked to him about this?" Megan asked.

"Remember how he's locked himself down in the studio?" Rachel replied.  "I tried talking to him about it last night but...I've never seen him that upset before, Megs.  It was like...it was like he turned into this completely different person.  It was very Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde and kind of scary.  I thought we'd worked through all of his issues with Justin, but apparently not."

"What did Justin do?"

"He and Aubrey are planning on getting married on Valentine's Day." Rachel told her.

"Really?" Megan questioned.  "So soon?"

"Apparently." Rachel nodded.

"Hmmm..." She hummed as if in thought.  "And JC is upset about this because..."

"What I got out of him last night was that he is tired of Justin stealing everything away from him." Rachel told her.

"Stealing everything away from him?" Megan questioned.  "Does he want Aubrey?"

"I hope not." Rachel laughed.  "Otherwise we've got some bigger problems on our hands."

"Then what exactly is Justin stealing from him?" Megan asked.

"The spotlight?" Rachel guessed.  "Honestly...I don't know what's going through his head right now."

"Do you want me to have Jackson punch some sense into him again?" Megan asked.

Rachel laughed.  "Hmmm...tempting.  But no." She shook her head.  "He just needs some time to cool off and think things through.  He'll realize what a baby he's being and things will go back to normal in a few days."  I hope.  "Are you sure you don't want to trade places?" Rachel asked.

"Um...yeah." Megan replied.  "I'm sure.  I'm going to stay here with my husband, and you're going to stay there with your cranky fiancée."

"Fine." Rachel huffed in exaggerated irritation. 

Megan laughed. "Good luck, though." She offered.

"Thanks." Rachel replied.  I'm going to need it.

After ending the call with Megan, Rachel set her phone down on the coffee table, took a deep breath and stood up.  Enough is enough.  She thought.  Walking downstairs she made her way down the hall, finally stopping in front of the door to JC's home studio.  Raising her hand she knocked on the door. 

"Jace?" She called out.  Nothing.  She leaned forward, pressing her ear against the door, hoping to be able to hear something though she knew it wasn't likely.  JC had had that room soundproofed so well the house could explode around him and he'd never hear it.  "Jace?" She called out a little louder this time.  Still nothing. 

Rachel stood back and put her hands on her hips as she stood, glaring at the barrier separating her from what she wanted.  She raised her fist and began pounding on the door.  "Open this door, Joshua Scott Chasez, or you are sleeping on the couch for the next month!  This is ridiculous!  You need to stop pouting and we need to--"

She stepped back in surprise as he suddenly opened the door.  "To talk." She finished, looking up at him.  His eyes met hers and her heart fell as an unwelcome sense of déjà vu washed over her.  She'd seen that look on his face before and she suddenly cursed Justin though she knew it wasn't entirely his fault.  JC was holding on to his anger and resentment for reasons she didn't understand, but Rachel was determined to make him let go once and for all. 

"We need to talk." She told him.

"There's nothing to talk about." JC replied as he looked away from her--the lack of expression on his face and in his voice spurring her on.

"That's a big, fat lie if I've ever heard one." Rachel informed him.  "And I don't like it when you lie to me, Josh.  The choice is yours--you can either let me come in there and talk to me about what's going on in your head right now, or I'm going to take you downtown and have you admitted so you can get some professional help." JC looked back at her sharply.  "The choice is yours." She stated again.  "But either way you're going to have to talk."

~~~~~~

JC stood, looking at Rachel in silence for a few moments-her threat hanging in the air between them.  He wasn't entirely convinced she would really force him to talk to someone, but he didn't know if he wanted to take a chance and find out her threat wasn't empty.  He finally opened the door wider, allowing Rachel to step inside the room.  Nobody else was going to understand everything he was feeling and going through as much as she would.  And if she was serious about taking him to a shrink somewhere, he didn't really want it getting around that he was mentally unstable and unable to cope with life. 

JC shut the door to the studio and stood for a moment with his back to Rachel.  He could feel her eyes on him and finally turned to look at her.  She stood, watching him intently, and he swallowed the sudden nervousness he felt.  Walking over to the couch that sat against one wall, he sat down-his arms resting on his knees as he bent over.  Rachel sat down next to him, but he kept his eyes focused on his feet.

"What's going on, Jace?" Rachel asked softly.  "You and Justin have been friends since you were kids." She stated.  "I don't understand why you suddenly hate him."  JC remained quiet as she continued.  "Why does it matter so much that he's getting married in two weeks?"

JC rubbed his hands together, as he tried to put his thoughts and feelings into order.  He glanced over at Rachel and recognized the stubborn glint in her beautiful eyes--she wasn't going to let this go without a satisfactory answer and while part of him was scared to open up and tell her everything that had been going through his head the last couple weeks, another part of him was ready to let it all out.  He was tired of carrying it all around and wanted to be done with it once and for all.

Taking a deep breath he looked back at his hands and began talking. 

~~~~~~    

"My earliest memory is staying in shelter with my mother." JC began softly.  Rachel looked at him in surprise at his beginning statement.  "We move around a lot--apartment hopping--and often wound up in a homeless shelter somewhere." He continued.  "We never really had a place to call home or anything that was ours." He paused and Rachel quietly slipped her hand into his.  "When I was five, my mother finally reached out to Mom and Dad and asked them to take care of me.  She knew I needed to be able to go to school and that I needed to have a stable family and home--things she couldn't give me."

Rachel sat, looking at JC--stunned into silence.  To say she was shocked was an understatement.  He had never opened up to her about this part of his past before.  Yes, she knew he was adopted, but she'd never heard him speak about what life had been like for him before being taken in by Roy and Karen Chasez.  She knew this was a topic that was very personal to him and one he liked to keep private and she wondered why he was talking about it now.  What had happened to bring up these old memories and what was making him willing to talk about them?

"It wasn't until Mom and Dad adopted me that I had anything I could call mine." JC continued.  "And it took me a while to realize that the things I had weren't going to be taken away, or that I wasn't going to have to leave it all behind and move somewhere different in a few weeks.  I went from having nothing, to having everything, and it was a big adjustment for a little kid to make.  All my life, up until that point, I had been taught that nothing was permanent, that nothing lasts, and that sooner or later someone is going to show up or something is going to happen and its all going to be taken away from you."

Rachel put her free hand against her chest, her heart breaking for the little boy he used to be, and who he still was from time to time.  JC finally looked up at her.

"I don't think I've ever talked to anyone about this before." He confessed--the vulnerability in his blue eyes breaking her heart even more than his words were and she blinked back her sudden tears.  She bit her bottom lip to hide it's trembling as she reached up and combed her fingers through his hair, brushing it away from his face as she leaned towards him and pressed her lips to his cheek.  "Sometimes I still have nightmares about being back in one of those shelters." He admitted quietly.

Rachel let go of his hand as she put her arms around him, laying her head on his shoulder.  "Why haven't you talked to anyone about this before?" She asked him.

"I didn't want to." He told her.  "When I was adopted and I finally realized that I'd never have to go back to living on the streets, I...I pushed away all the thoughts and fears that used to be my constant companions."  He paused then continued quietly.  "You don't know how frightening it is as a child to live like that-to have no sense of stability--and when that changed I just wanted to forget about everything that had happened before.  The last thing I wanted to do was talk about it.  Besides," he told her.  "Like I said, everything was better now.  I had a home and a family.  I wasn't hungry anymore and I had clothes that were mine and a bed that I knew nobody else had ever slept in.  What did I need to go dredging up the past for?"

"What's changed?" Rachel asked.  She felt him tense up and she pulled back to look at him.  "Why are you talking about it now?" She questioned, watching him closely.

"Everything was fine." He told her.  "Until I met Justin.  The Club was my thing." He told her, the vulnerability from seconds before melting away as his anger began to build slowly.  "You know?  It was...it was something that I loved doing and it was the thing that helped me realize what it was I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I wanted to perform.  I wanted to sing.  And everyday I got to do that.  I was on top of the world...and then Justin joined the group.  Before I realized it I was pushed to the background with everyone else while the spotlight was given to this kid who had more singing and acting ability in his little finger at the age of eleven than I have in my entire body now!" 

JC stood up suddenly and Rachel sat on the couch, watching as he began to pace back and forth.  She was amazed at the things she was hearing him say and couldn't imagine the weight that all this emotional baggage must have had on his soul for all of these years--but things were beginning to make sense and she was glad that he seemed intent to keep talking.  Thirty-three years of holding this all inside was coming to an end today.  She hoped that once everything was out in the open, and he'd said what he needed to say, he would be able to set it all aside and finally be able to leave the past in the past.

"It was frustrating, that everything came so easy to him, but you couldn't help but like the kid," JC continued, "He was funny and fun to be around and he was just someone you want to be around.  He became one of my best friends.  But then, what little spotlight I did have was taken away when the show was cancelled."

"Why did you work with him to put the group together if you were holding a grudge against him?" Rachel asked.

"I didn't really understand what I was feeling are what was going on." He told her.  "When he convinced me to put together a group with him I thought, here's my chance!  Here's my chance to show everyone what I can do!  And for the first little while it was great!  We had a long road starting out, and when things finally started rolling I was elected as kind of the spokesman for the group--mostly because I was the most serious one and I had the most singing parts--but pretty soon that changed.  Everyone started pushing for Justin to be the lead and I had to step back.  Justin was the funny one that everyone wanted to talk to.  Justin was the cute one that everyone wanted to take pictures of.  Justin was the talented one that was suddenly being labeled as the lead singer of the group.  Then he got offered the opportunity to do his own thing and left the group--once again taking something from me.  Only this time," JC held up a finger as he stopped and looked at Rachel.  "This time it was more.  He took away any chance I had at my own solo career."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest--to remind him that he had a solo career, but he stopped her.

"I know what you're going to say." He held up a finger.  "You're going to say that I'm wrong--that I did have a solo career--but it's not the career that I wanted it to be.  It's not the career that it could have been.  While Justin was singing and playing to sold out arenas, I was doing outside amphitheaters because who would you rather go see?  Me?" He asked, putting a hand to his chest.  "Or the guy who brought sexy back?  Then there was the whole ‘wardrobe malfunction,'" he made quotation marks in the air with his fingers, "And the fiasco that resulted from that."  JC sighed as he ran his hands through his hair.  "I'm sick of having things taken away from me." He stated.  "By him."

"Jace, I..." Rachel paused, unsure of how to respond to everything he'd just told her.  "He's not doing it on purpose."  She finally told him, feeling the need to stand up for Justin since he wasn't here to do it himself.

"I know." JC nodded. "And that's the most frustrating part of this whole thing!  He has no idea what the hell he's doing!  He's just...being Justin."  JC exclaimed as he sat down beside her once more.

Rachel was quiet for a moment, taking everything in.  "I don't understand." She finally said and JC looked over at her.  "If you've been holding all of this in all these years, why have you been working with him so hard to get the group back together?" 

"Because I thought maybe things would be different this time around." He admitted.

"Why would you think that?" She asked.  "What's changed?  Why would it have been different?"

"I don't know." JC shook his head.  "I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess...I guess I was hoping that I had changed.  That it had been long enough, and that I had put it behind me, but I guess not."

"So, what are you going to do about it?" She asked him.  He was quiet.  "You can't pull out, Jace." She told him.  "You signed a contract."  He remained quiet.  "And besides that, I've worked way too hard to get you all back together." She continued, hoping to make him laugh. His lips twitched up slightly and she smiled.  "I saw that." She told him and he looked at her.  Rachel put a hand to his face--her thumb caressing his cheek.  As she sat there, looking into his blue eyes, she felt another piece of the puzzle that was JC Chasez fall into place.  All of his insecurities involving Justin suddenly made sense.  All of the times he had freaked out when she had teased him about leaving him for Justin suddenly took on a different meaning.

Finally, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, needing to reassure him of one thing.  "Whatever you feel that Justin has taken from you over the years..." She began, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.  "He's never going to take me away."  JC wrapped his arms around her tightly and Rachel wound her arms around his neck.  "Let them get married.  The press will die down, the tour will go on, and then we'll get married.  And our wedding," she told him.  "Is going to blow theirs out of the water!"  JC laughed.  "With them sneaking off to get married privately, ours is the one that everyone is going to be talking about."

"I love you, Sass." He whispered in her ear.  Rachel hugged him tightly for a moment then pulled back.  She put her hands on his face as she kissed him again.  She wanted to suggest that he talk to someone about all of the feelings he had been holding on to and keeping silent about for all of these years, but she knew he wouldn't do it.  That would require opening up about his private life to someone he didn't know and that wasn't something this man did.  You had to earn his trust.

"Are you going to stay in the group?" Rachel asked. 

He was quiet for a moment then, "Yes." He nodded. 

"Is Justin still going to be your best man?" Rachel questioned. 

JC sighed.  "He has to be." He replied.  Rachel's brows furrowed in question as she looked at him.  "The only other option is Tyler." He told her.  "He's my brother and I love him, but I'm not sure him I trust him with that." He replied, a teasing glint in his eyes.  Rachel smiled; relieved to see his mood was improving. 

"Are you going to stop throwing tantrums and acting like a child whenever Justin does something you don't like?"

"I do not throw tantrums." JC insisted. 

"Um...remember that lamp you broke last night?" Rachel asked him and he scowled at her.  "That was a tantrum."  She laughed as he tightened his arms around her suddenly and swung her around, pulling her onto his lap. 

"No more tantrums." He promised her, brushing his nose against hers before placing several quick kisses to her lips. 

"I'm going to hold you to that." Rachel informed him, returning each kiss.

JC's lips moved across her jaw and Rachel sunk her fingers into his dark hair.  His hands circled her waist as he kissed her ear.  "Ever made love in a recording studio before?" He asked, changing the subject suddenly. 

Rachel pulled back and looked at him in surprise then shook her head.  "You're the first musician I've ever been with." She reminded him. 

"Then I think it's about time I introduce you to the experience." He replied with a seductive grin.  JC pulled her back to him--his lips once more finding her ear.  Rachel shivered, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from moaning out loud.  "And do you want to know the best part about it?" He asked, his sinful mouth continuing to tease her.  "You can be as loud as you want," he breathed, his warm breath fanning against her neck, "and nobody can hear you." 

"Joshua Chasez!" Rachel scolded, putting her hands on his chest and pushing back from him.  "How many other women have you seduced this way?" She asked him and he chuckled.  "How many other women have been in here with you?" She narrowed her eyes as she looked at him closely.  "Nevermind," she said quickly at the look in his blue eyes.  "I don't think I want to know the answer to that question." 

JC put both hands on her face as he looked at her.  "It's in the past." He told her.  "And it doesn't matter.  What matters is that you're the only one who's going to be in here with me from now on."  A slow smile spread across her face as she read the honesty in his blue eyes.  "Now," he said, capturing her mouth with his.  "Let's make some noise."              

~~~~~~

"Absolutely not!" Lynn Harless exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips as she stood looking at her son and his fiancée Tuesday evening.  "I'm not going to let you two make a mistake of this magnitude."

"You're not going to let me?" Justin asked, folding his arms across his chest.  "You're not going to let me?  I'm twenty-eight, Ma!  I think I can make my own decisions and this isn't a mistake." He continued, putting an arm around Aubrey.

Lynn watched as Aubrey looked back and forth between mother and son--indecision was clearly written all over the younger woman's face--and she sighed.  She knew her son.  She knew how charming and convincing Justin could be when he wanted to be.  And she knew that, while she may love him, Aubrey was not ready to marry Justin.  The confusion in Aubrey's eyes said it all.

"Yes it is." Lynn nodded.  "You two are not ready to get married and if you would look at your fiancée there, Justin," she said pointed at Aubrey, "and talk to her, you would see that I'm right."

Justin turned his blue eyes to Aubrey and Lynn watched them for a moment.  "I'm going to go check on the laundry." She told the couple.  "And when I come back, I don't want to hear anymore crazy talk about you two getting married next weekend, ya hear?"

~~~~~~

Aubrey tried not to squirm uncomfortably as Justin continued to study her intently.

"Did you change your mind?" He finally asked.  Aubrey pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she looked up at him.  "Aubrey?" He asked, clearly expecting, and needing, an answer. 

Aubrey let out a sigh as she looked around the kitchen.  Her eyes landed on the door leading out to the back yard and took his hand--pulling him outside.  "Why isn't anybody happy about this, Justin?" She asked him as they stepped outside and stood on the back porch.

"What are you talking about?"

"What do you mean, what am I talking about?" Aubrey asked in disbelief.  "Were you not just in there with me listening to your mother yelling at us?" She asked, pointing towards the house.  "Everyone that I've told has reacted the exact same way!"  She watched as Justin blew out a breath and turned from her.  He stood, looking out across the yard, and Aubrey stood, looking at him.  "Maybe we're making a mistake." She told him, slipping her hand into his. 

Justin looked down at their entwined fingers and then up into her eyes.  "Do you love me?" He asked.

"You know the answer to that question." Aubrey replied. 

"Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes." Aubrey assured him.  "Just...not under these circumstances." She told him.  "All I've gotten the last couple days has been shock and disappointment."  She paused.  "Nobody is happy about this.  I haven't even told my parents yet because I'm afraid of what they're going to say and how they're going to react.  I don't think I can handle one more person telling me I'm crazy and calling me insane." 

Justin turned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him.  Aubrey put her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest-listening to the beat of his heart.  Justin lowered his head-his chin resting against her forehead.  "What do you want?" Justin asked.  "Tell me what you want and I'll do it."

Aubrey pulled back to look up at him.  "I want to marry you." She told him.  "But I also want our families and friends to be happy and supportive about it."

"And that means waiting." He stated as he lifted one hand--tucking her hair behind one ear.

Aubrey took a deep breath.  "And that means waiting." She nodded.  She closed her eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers. 

"How long?" He asked.  Aubrey opened her eyes and looked at him. 

"I don't know." She replied honestly. 

"You're always making me wait." He stated with a teasing sparkle in his blue eyes.

Aubrey smiled, a sense of relief lifting the weight of talking to him about this from her shoulders.  "But it's worth it in the end, isn't it?" She asked. 

Justin chuckled as he pressed his lips against her.  "Yes." He sighed.  "Damn it." He muttered under his breath, causing Aubrey to laugh.  "So far..." he bobbed his head back and forth as if thinking it over. "It's been worth the wait." He finally relented with a smile.

"And so will this." She assured him as she put a hand against his chest.  She leaned up on her toes slightly and kissed him.  "Trust me."