"So, where were you last night?"    

"Here." I shrug as Trace glares at me questioningly.     

"Bullshit you were. I stopped by and nobody answered the door."    

"Maybe you didn't knock loud enough. I was here all night man."    

"Dude... I came by... I called... I texted... I even sent you a fucking e-mail, and you know how much I hate that shit. You were not here."    

"Yeah, I was."    

"Oh, ok." He nods seriously. "Hi, I'm Trace... nice to meet you." He stares at me, hand outstretched, his face set in stone.    

"What the hell are you doing?"    

"Introducing myself." He says simply and shrugs. "See... you look like my best friend, but can't possibly be him, because he's smart enough to know he can't fucking lie to me."    

"Whatever man. I was here all night."    

"Holy shit..." He says suddenly, eyes getting wider by the second. "You fucked her, didn't you?"    

"What? Who?"

"That Abby chick! That's why I couldn't get a hold of you! You were in here banging her!"    

Well shit.    

So much for not telling anybody, I guess.    

Last night was... well, it was a mistake. And no, I'm not saying that to be a dick or anything. It's a simple fact.         

I was lonely and Abby was there and obviously willing, so I guess you could say I took advantage.     

I'm perfectly happy with Jess. My only issue is that I never get to see her and for some reason, that's all I could think about. I wanted her here with me and since that wasn't an option, I acted like an idiot and went for the closest female at the moment and it happened to be Abby.    

I wish it wouldn't have happened, but there isn't much I can do about it now.     

But, I'm not a total asshole. Yes, it was a mistake and yes, I regret it, but it's made me wonder if maybe there's a little more to the way I feel about it.    

I had myself convinced that I just wanted somebody different to hang out with, but everything that happened last night proves that isn't the case.     

It sounds weird, but it's almost like I wasn't even in control of what was going on. One minute we were sitting there talking and the next, I couldn't keep my damn hands off of her.    

I guess I could chalk it all up to being lonely and forget all about it, but I just can't do that. I don't know what it was, but I felt... something, with her. I can't explain it and I haven't got the slightest fucking clue what it was, but it was something.    

I could probably tell Trace all about it, but I don't really expect him to understand it. Hell, how can I expect anyone to understand something I don't fully understand myself?

****************    

"Dude... do not fucking go. Seriously... how god damn dumb are you?" Trace rolls his eyes and glares at me. "You've already screwed around with this chick once, and now you wanna meet her for dinner? What the fuck are you thinking? I'm not a big relationship guy, but shit... Jess deserves a hell of a lot better than this."    

"You think I don't know that? Look... I fucked up, I know that ok? I'm just gonna tell her we can't hang out anymore. Problem solved."    

Atleast, I think that's best solution anyway.    

It's taken me three days to build up the nerve to call Abby, but I finally did it and asked her to meet me for dinner. And even that took some convincing, so I guess she's feeling as shitty about this as I am.     

"Oh yeah, it'll totally be that fucking easy." He snorts and shakes his head. "While you're at it, maybe you can cure cancer and create world peace too."    

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"    

"You're acting like it's so simple. Like you'll go in there and just be like 'hey, can't see you anymore' and she'll accept that and forget about it. Girls don't fucking work like that man. She could dick you over three ways from Sunday and you just... you don't know this girl man."    

"She's not like that."    

I know he thinks I'm fucking crazy and yeah, maybe I don't know Abby that well, but I just know she wouldn't sell me out or anything. She's not that kind of girl, I can feel it.   

And yeah, maybe I don't know how she'll take this, but it's not exactly easy on me either.    

I've felt nothing but guilty for three days and no, it's not just because I cheated on Jess. I never should have made a move on Abby. Hell, I never should have brought her back to the house, period.     

I'm doing everything I can to correct my mistakes and it'd be nice if my best friend could see that and give me just a little bit of fucking support.    

"I sure as shit hope not. But, you gotta look at it from every angle man. I'm just trying to be realistic, and honestly... you're a little bit on my shit list for cheating on Jess to begin with. Even if it'd been somebody you've known for ten years, I still wouldn't agree with it."    

"I'm not asking you to." I shrug. "I feel like shit about it, alright? I'm not gonna stop feeling like shit about it. All I can do is tell Abby I can't see her anymore."    

"Yeah... hope it works out." He mutters and follows me out of the house, and climbs into his own car without another word.     

It takes a good ten minutes before I pull up to the diner and let out a long sigh when I spot Abby, already seated at a corner booth.     

I really, really fucked this up.    

This girl had the potential to become one of my best friends and I completely obliterated any chance for that to happen.     

I honestly believed there was nothing more than friendship here and I'm not really sure when or how that changed. Or maybe, it was a lot of things adding up. I was lonely, I missed Jess, there's somewhat of an attraction to Abby, she was there, and she didn't push me away.    

That's the thing I really don't understand. She knew I had a girlfriend, why the hell didn't she stop me?    

"Umm... don't... don't you... uhh... have a girl... girlfriend?"     

On second thought, I guess she did try to stop me. So, the better question would be, why the fuck didn't I stop myself?     

And ya know what, I don't have answer.    

I finally force myself out of the car and head inside. As I plop down across from Abby, I do everything I can to avoid looking her in the eyes.        

"Umm... hey." She forces a strained smile and I nod. "So.. uhh... how's it going?"    

"Alright I guess." I shrug and move the salt and pepper shakers around on the table. "How about you?"    

"I'm... I'm good." I'm not sure why, but she looks exhausted. "So... you wanted to talk?"    

"Ye-yeah..." I nod and lick my lips nervously. "Look... the other night was..."    

"A big fucking mistake, I know." She sighs and rolls her eyes. "I knew you had a girlfriend and... I don't know what the hell I was thinking. It shouldn't have happened." She nods firmly and I can't help but frown.    

I wasn't really expecting that.     

I'd kind of figured she'd be upset when I said it, or tried to convince me to leave Jess for her. I guess I really don't know her at all.    

"Exactly. And umm... I'm... I'm glad we can agree on that."     

"Yeah, well... it's common sense."    

"Oh yeah, totally." I nod slowly.    

I came in here, fully intending to blow her off. I figured she'd get upset, maybe even yell at me a little, but it's like, she just gets it. She knows we were both wrong and she seems to want to put it behind her as badly as I do. Which is definitely a good sign.    

Maybe I can keep her around after all.