“If it’s a boy we’re naming him Justin.”

         “No, that’s stupid.” I said as I lay on the couch, resting my head on Justin’s lap.

         “That’s not stupid at all, how is that stupid?” he asked as he rubbed my belly, just like he’d done since that night I told him I was pregnant and every night during the six months up until today.

         “Because. How is it not stupid? That’s your name, it’s going to be pure confusion.”

         “Not at all. We can call him Junior.”

         “Eww, absolutely not. That’s so Tennessee”

         Justin chuckled, “We are so Tennessee.”

         “We’re not that kind of Tennessee. Not the white-trash-red-neck-I-name-my-son-Junior kind of Tennessee. Why don’t we just name him Billy Bob?”

         “Billy Bob? That’s got a certain ring to it,” I slapped his chest as he spoke, “fine, what do you suggest?”

         “I like Logan.”

         “That’s an airport. Why don’t we just name him La Guardia?”

         I laughed, “I like Logan though. What about Jackson?”

         “Jackson is the countryest name I’ve ever heard in my life, are you kidding?”

         “Countryest? Is that a word, sweetie?”

         “If we name our kid Jackson we can make it a word,” he laughed before leaning down and kissing me gently, “No Jackson.”

         “Fine, no Jackson. What about Kennedy?”

         “What is it with you and former presidents? No! What’s next, Lincoln? Clinton? Washington?”

         “Alright, stop,” I whined, “Justin is just so weird, it’ll be too confusing.”

         “How will it be confusing?”

         “Because! What if people are over and I go upstairs for a minute. And when I get back they ask where I was and I say Justin pooped his pants and I was changing him.”

         Justin laughed, “Ah, good point.”

         “That would be super embarrassing for you, I’m just looking out for you.”

         “You sure are,” he laughed again, “We could call him JJ.”

         “JJ… I actually kinda like that.”

         “Of course you do. I’m smart, I know what you like. It’s way better than Logan or fucking Jackson.”

         I took a deep breath, “Fine but only if you promise that no one will EVER call him Junior.”

         “I promise. We’ll kick their ass if they try!”

         “Good,” I giggled, “And what if it’s a girl? Can we name her Kendall?”

         “If that’s what you want babe.”

         “It’s not what I want.”

         “I know. You like Jenny after your Mama.”

         “Jenny Lynn, after our Mamas.”

         “I love it,” he said leaning down to kiss me again, “I love you.”

         “I love you… and I love milkshakes. Can you go get me a milkshake? Please? A chocolate peanut butter one.”

         “Yeah, I could go for some ice cream, why don’t you come with me?”

         “I’m tired,” I whined.

         “You’re tired? I’ve been dancing since eight this morning.”

         “So, I’ve been busy too.”

         “I know,” he said to keep me quiet, he didn’t really know he just doesn’t want me to complain, “I just haven’t seen you all day and you could come, I mean you’re just sitting in a car. It’s a nice night, we could go for a job.”

         “Justin,” I whined again, “The doctor said…”

         “Alright, alright, get up so I can go,” he stood up and headed to the door, “A chocolate peanut butter milkshake.”

         “From Sundaes. And some French fries.”

         “Alright, that’s it?”

         “And maybe a pizza.”

         “Maybe a pizza?” he laughed loudly, “Are you serious? Maybe a pizza? Like that’s a side order or something. You want a fucking pizza to go with your milkshake?”

         “Well god, if you’re going to get all mean and be mad about it…”

         “I’m not mad. Baby, I’m laughing. It’s just funny. I know you’re pregnant and that’s how it works. What do you want on your pizza?”

         “Pepperoni and olives,” I pouted.

         “From where? Pizza Hut?” I nodded my head, “Anything else?”

         “Yeah, breadsticks.”

         He chuckled again; “We just ate two hours ago.” he stopped laughing when he saw the dirty look I was giving him. It’s like he doesn’t understand that I’m eating for two. He drives me absolutely crazy sometimes, “Alright, sorry. I love you!”

         “Just shut up and go.”

~*~*~*~*~

         “Are you crying?”

         “No.”

         I chuckled as I noticed a tear roll down her cheek, “Yes you are! Why are you crying?”

         “Shut up.  I am not.”

         “Don’t cry,” I said as I put my arm around her and pulled her close. We sat in two tiny chairs getting ready to watch our son graduate from preschool.

         “He’s just so grown up. I feel like we were just laying on the couch thinking up baby names.”

         I nodded my head, shit now she’s going to make me cry. It is hard to believe that our son is graduating from preschool. At first I thought it was a little ridiculous that there’s even a graduation but right now as I’m watching him walk in with a little handmade cap and gown I don’t know what I was thinking.

         He’s all grown up.

         Before we know it he’s going to be graduating from college and moving out and getting married and having kids of his own and not spending any time with us.

         “He’s the cutest kid up there, you know that right?”

         Kendall giggled and elbowed me in the side, “Shh, you’re so loud. He is though, he totally is.”

         We watched JJ walk into the room, smiling bigger than any of the other kids.  He waved at us when he saw us and we waved back, I think our smiles were even bigger than his.  That’s my boy up there, hamming it up singing his heart out.  The kids all sang a bunch of songs and then sat down as the teacher got ready to hand them their diplomas.

         “Junior Timberlake.”

         Ken jumped up so fast you’d think she just got a Bingo. I jumped up with her and clapped while everyone looked at us like we’re crazy.

         JJ giggled as he walked up to get his diploma, “That’s my Mommy and Daddy they’re silly! Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!”

         “Hi darling,” Ken smiled and waved like a crazy person. Well we definitely gave everyone a laugh, that’s for sure.  I guess it’s pretty obvious this is our first preschool graduation. I grabbed onto her arm as I sat down, pulling her down with me. I saw the second her smile slid off her face and she realized it, “Did she just call him Junior?”

         I chuckled and nodded my head before leaning to whisper in her ear, “Are you going to kick her ass or am I?”

         “You are,” she giggled, “the deal was you would kick the ass of whoever called our son Junior.”

         “Yeah, but I can’t hit a girl.”

         “Yes you can, and you will. You promised.”

~*~**~*~*~

         “I’m home,” I called out to a dark house. Shit, it’s not like I expected a welcome back party but I’ve been gone a week you’d think Kendall would at least leave a light on for me. “Anyone home?”

         “I’m in the bedroom,” I heard Kendall from upstairs and dropped my bag at the door before making my way upstairs.  I stopped in JJ’s room quickly, walking over to the crib where he was sound asleep. I missed that little bugger. I used to be all right with the touring and weeklong trips to New York but I’m starting to think it’s not exactly for me. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with having to tour again.

         “Hey Babe, where you at?” I asked as I walked into the bedroom.

         “Right here,” she stepped out of the bathroom wearing some sexy black lingerie.

         “There you are,” I smiled when I saw her and looked her over. She’s just three months pregnant but she’s got that little baby bump I swear she didn’t have a week ago. “I missed you so much baby. Look at you, you got your bump!”

         “Justin,” she whined, “No bumps, really? How about anything else about me?”

         My eyes went right to her chest, “Yes, your pregnant boobs are back.”

         Ken giggled, “I missed you baby.”

         “I know, I missed you too. How was JJ, alright?”

         “Yes Justin, he was fine. We talked like every day, multiple times a day.”

         “Sorry,” I chuckled, “I missed you guys.”

         “I miss you too, baby.”

         She said that before. She’s trying really hard to be sexy and strut around the room but honestly all I can think about is that she’s got her little baby bump and that makes me so damn excited, and not exactly in the way she’s trying to get me excited.  “Come over here,” I said as I sat down at the foot of the bed. Ken walked over slowly and stood in front of me. I lifted up her nightgown so I could see her belly and kissed it quickly, “I can’t believe you got your bump while I was gone.”

         Ken took a deep annoyed breath, “Justin. I’m trying to seduce you.”

         “I see that,” I couldn’t help but laugh.

         “Why isn’t it working?” she pouted

         “I’m sorry baby, I’m just excited to see you and your bump. I didn’t think you’d get it already, and it just popped up.” I wrapped my arms around her and fell on the bed, pulling her down with me, “But it’s working, you’ve seduced me, carry on.”

~*~*~*~*~

         “You did absolutely amazing today JJ, we’re so proud of you!” I said as we drove back to the house after his graduation. I feel like he’s growing up too fast. How is he possibly done with preschool? He’s my little baby!

         “You were a complete pro out there man,” Justin agreed as he looked back at JJ who was just giggling and smiling in the backseat. He’s too cute for words. “Did you have fun?”

         “Oh yeah! So much fun Daddy. And you know what was the best part? That you was there and Mommy was there. AND Granny and Nana and Grandpa and Papa and everyone was there! And Auntie Kay and Rachael and everybody was there!”

         “When you get older,” Justin began looking back at him, “You need to promise me that you’re still going to get excited when we’re around and you‘re not going to get married and have kids and forget about us.”

         Well that kind of came out of nowhere. He’s definitely being serious, he’s not joking at all.

         JJ giggled, “Daddy, you’re silly!”

         Justin pulled into our driveway and turned the car off before looking back at JJ again, “Just say you promise.”

         “I promise Daddy! I promise! Unlock the door, I wanna get out!”

         I reached over to unlock the door and watched JJ jump out of the car. “What was that about?”

         “I just… I don’t know. He’s getting so old. I don’t want him to get old and forget about us.”

         “Aww Justin, he’s not going to forget about us. It’s just preschool,” I said as I placed my hand on his lap.

         “I know, I know. I want him to stay young and cute forever.”

         “That’s sweet.  He’ll be cute forever, even if he’s not young.”

         Justin laughed, “Look at me, getting all emotional at a stupid preschool graduation.”

         “Hey!” I slapped his arm, “that is our son’s stupid preschool graduation. Watch it!”

         “Mommy! Come on! It’s my party and I can’t get in the house!

         I laughed as I got out of the car, “Oh my JJ, calm yourself. The party can’t start without you.”

         “Are you excited little man?” Justin asked as he walked around to the door, “You want some cake?”

         ‘Yeah! I want cake, and pizza!”

         “Alright graduate, we got some nice surprises for you today.” Justin said as he unlocked the door and I moved so I could see JJ’s reaction. He’s going to go crazy.

         Justin opened the door where the dogs were jumping around and JJ screamed, “OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!! THE DOGGIES! I missed you! Are you guys staying here now? Are you? Are you staying???”

         Justin and I laughed as JJ waited for the dogs to answer him. I know that he’s aware that they don’t talk but he’s just way too excited.

         “Are they staying Mommy? Can they stay Daddy?”

         “Yeah man, they’re staying.”

         “Yay! Today is the best day ever!”

         “It is, isn’t it?” Justin asked with a laugh, “Go on inside, they’re going to run out.”

         JJ ran inside and the dogs followed him. They miss him too, probably more than he misses them. If that’s possible.  Justin’s been staying here for the past two weeks, so the poor dogs were staying with Rachael the whole time. I say the poor dogs, I should say poor Rachael. I did miss them though; I never thought I’d say that.  “Today is the best day EVER,” I mimicked JJ and wrapped my arms around Justin’s waist.

         “Except for the whole our son graduating fucking preschool.” He laughed before kissing my forehead, “Besides that, definitely best day ever!”

         “Helllo?” my mother knocked on the door before coming into the house, “Is this where the party is?”

         “Come on in Ma,” I said as I moved away from Justin. I now feel like we’re not supposed to be together since we are divorced. This situation is weird but it’s a good kind of weird… at least I think it is. “JJ’s busy with the dogs, he’ll ignore everyone for the next few hours. Thanks for coming up for his graduation. He’s really excited everyone came.”

         “Well of course Darling, we weren’t about to miss our only grandson’s preschool graduation,” my mother said as she made her way into the kitchen and gave me and Justin a hug, “How are you doing Justin? JJ was just like you up there, singing his little heart out.”

         “Yeah, I’m not as big of a ham as he is,” Justin laughed, “Can I get you guys a drink?”

         “Yeah, let me give you a hand with that, son,” my father said as he followed Justin to the yard. I was quite surprised that my father called Justin ‘son’ again. Sure, he did it all the time when we were married but he hardly talked to Justin after the divorce, even when we were all together. My family definitely took my side with everything, even though I kind of wish they hadn’t.  Justin was right, they just went along with whatever I said and didn’t try to set me straight.

         “Where’s this cake I’ve heard so much about?” my mother asked after they made it outside.

         “Oh it’s super cute. Kay helped me with it. It’s over here.”

         “Adorable,” my mother said as she looked at the cake for about two seconds before continuing, “What’s the deal with you and Justin?”

         Well I knew that was going to come up at some point but I didn’t think it would happen like this. “JJ, why don’t you take the dogs outside and play with Daddy and Papa.” JJ ignored me completely as he continued laughing and playing with the dogs, “JJ!” I snapped my fingers, “Focus.”

         “What Mommy? I’m playing with the doggies!”

         “I know you are darling, but I think you should take them outside and play, it’s so nice out. Daddy is out there with Papa and you didn’t even say hi to Nana.”

         “Hi Nana, did you see me singing?”

         “Yes I sure did sweetheart, you were amazing.”

         “I know,” JJ giggled.

         I laughed as I watched him, “You’re supposed to say thank you to that, and not I know.”

         “Oh.” He giggled some more, “Thank you Nana.”

         “Alright darling, outside.”

         “Come on doggies! Outside!”

         “So then,” my mother said as she followed me back into the kitchen to help me get the food ready, “What’s the deal?”

         “What’s the deal? I don’t know Ma. We talked and we never really talked before. We’re just trying to figure it out.”

         “So he’s back living here while you figure it out?” I nodded my head, “Do you think that’s a smart idea? Don’t you think it may be confusing for JJ?”  

         “Mom, Justin is JJ’s father. It’s not like he’s just some random guy that I decided I’d let move in. that would confuse JJ.”

         “I know that sweetie, I just think you have to be careful with JJ.”

         “I know, you know I’m careful with him. But JJ is so happy when we’re all here together, since we split up.”

         “Yes. I see that too. It’s good to see you smiling again, too. Your father and I were saying we haven’t seen you this happy since before…” she trailed off, unable to finish. 

         “Jenny Lynn,” I finished the sentence for her. I know she stopped because she was afraid of how I’d react, and I’ll be the first to admit in the past I haven’t exactly reacted like a sane human being when it comes to Jenny Lynn. But, I think I’m finally learning to deal with it. “I am happy.”

         “I’m glad. Justin makes you happy.” I nodded my head, “And you love him?”

         “I’ve always loved him Mom.”

         “I know you have. We love him too. You know that, right sweetie?”

         “I do.”

         “We want you to be happy and of course we want what’s best for you and JJ. But, I think this is a good idea and I’m glad you’re finally figuring everything out and talking. You need to let Justin help, he wants to help you deal with everything.”

         “I know, I am.”

         Maybe she should have told me all this when I was planning the divorce. I don’t understand why they were all for it back then.  I’m not blaming them, obviously it’s all my fault, but maybe if they would have told me I was making a mistake I would have listened and saved us from the past year of bullshit. I probably wouldn’t have, but it could have helped.