I fell on the couch next to JJ and pulled him on my lap. “Did you have a good day, darling?”

         “Uh huh,” JJ yawned and rested his head on my shoulder, “A real good day!”

         “Me too. You’re so old. You’re not a baby anymore.”

         “I know. I’m a big kid!”

         I laughed as I wrapped my arms around him tighter, “You sure are.” I don’t really want him to be a big kid. I get that’s how the whole having a kid thing works but why do they have to grow up? It really hit me today, and obviously Justin’s little freak-out didn’t help. There’s not going to be that much longer that I can hold him like this, hell pretty soon he’s not going to want to be caught dead in my arms like this.  I don’t want that to ever happen!

         “Guess what my favorite part was!”

         “Hmmm,” I ran my hands though his curly hair, “Easy. The cake.”

         “No! Pick again.”

         “You didn’t like my cake?” I pouted.

         “No, no I did Mommy!” he pulled away from me and kissed my forehead before sitting on my lap, his face a foot from mine, “It was yummy, it just wasn’t my favorite part!”

         I laughed at his excitement, and how he actually bought my horrible acting skills when I pretended to be disappointed.

         “Guess what it was Mommy!”

         “Hmm… was it having nana and papa over?”

         “Nope!”

         I’m sure Nana and Papa would be happy to hear that. “Let’s see was it… singing your song in front of everyone?”

         “Oh yeah! I mean no, not my favorite!”

         I love this kid so much. I can’t even explain. “I don’t know JJ. Was it… getting to go swimming?”

         “No! You’re not good at this game, Mommy! I’ll give you a hint, ok? They’re my best friends and they go woof woof and they like to eat my broccoli so I don’t gotta eat in no more!” he stopped and covered his mouth with his hands. “Uh oh.”

         “Are you telling me that you feed the dogs your broccoli when we’re not looking?”

         “Uh oh,” he repeated.

         “What oh?” Justin asked as he came into the living room and sat next to us, “What’s going on?”

         “Daddy! Daddy! Guess what my favorite part of today was?” JJ crawled on his father’s lap, hoping I’ll forget about his recent confession.

         “Easy! The dogs!”

         “Yes! Daddy got it first try! High five Daddy! Yay!”

         “JJ, just admitted that he feeds the dogs his broccoli when we’re not looking and he’s glad the dogs are back so he won’t have to eat his broccoli anymore,” I crossed my arms over my chest pretending to be angry. I’m not; I don’t think anything could ruin today, definitely not this. I don’t know why I make him eat broccoli anyway. I used to hate it when I was a kid. Actually, I’m pretty sure I fed it to my dog too. I should have known better!

         Justin chuckled, “That’s impossible because the dogs were with me and I never made him eat broccoli.”

         “Before!” JJ said before covering his mouth again.

         “Oh boy,” I laughed as I stood up, “I think we better get you to bed before you confess to killing that bird we found in the yard.”

~~~

         I don’t know how I’m supposed to deal with this whole Justin being away for months at a time thing. I get that it’s his job, but what the hell? Who does that kind of shit? We just started dating and he’s been gone two weeks and I feel like I forget what he looks like already. All right, obviously that’s a huge lie; I couldn’t forget what he looks like if I tried.

         It’s finals week, so in theory it should be a good thing that he’s gone so I can actually focus on school for once since I’ve been seriously slacking ever since we met. But in reality, I’m pretty sure all I do is think about this man and I have hardly even opened a book to study. I’m also pretty sure I just wrote a persuasive essay on my English Comp final persuading my boyfriend to quit his job, buy an island, and run away with me. So yeah, the whole school thing isn’t looking so good.

         We talk every day, multiple times a day actually. I can hear the guys making fun of him in the background. It doesn’t seem to bother him though; he even tells me he loves me when they’re around. That’s a first for me, a definite first.

         My phone rang as I pulled into the parking lot of my building. I felt a huge, almost annoying, smile cover my face when I saw who it was. “Hi!”

         “Hey,” he chuckled, “Where are you?”

         “Where are you in the question.”

         “I am… I don’t know baby, you kill me with this question every day. I’m in… oh! Georgia, obviously. Atlanta. ATL.”

         “Did you have a show?”

         “Nah, a day off. We got in early this morning; I’ve been sleeping most of the day. Then I watched some TV, not all that exciting. I think we’re going to get some food delivered and maybe hit the pool tonight after they close it down. So, that’s it for me. Where are you?”

         “I’m just walking into my apartment.”

         “Good, get on your computer.”

         “Listen to you with the orders,” I laughed as I walked into my apartment greeted by Justin’s dogs jumping on me.

         “Please get on your computer,” he repeated softer before laughing, “I can hear my dogs, are they driving you nuts yet?”

         “Absolutely.”

         “No, really? I told you that you don’t have to watch them.”

         I laughed as I pet the dog on his cute little head, “No, I’m not going to send them to a kennel for months at a time. It’s not going to happen. They’re fine, I was kidding. They’re kinda growing on me.”

         “Good, now get on your computer.”

         “It’s turning on, relax.”

         “Good, I’m impatient.”

         “I noticed,” I laughed although I was wishing my computer would turn on much faster. This is taking far too long; I want to see him too. It really makes everything so much easier when I can talk to him and actually see him on the computer.

         “Your computer is too slow, you need a new one. I’m going to get you a new one.”

         “It is not too slow! You’re not buying me a new computer; I just got this a year and a half ago. Ok, it’s on.” I sat on the couch and placed my laptop on the coffee table and waved like an idiot when I saw his face cover my screen, “hi!”

         “Hey there,” he smiled, “It’s good to see you.”

         “You too. I miss you.”

         “I miss you too. A lot. More than I’ve ever missed anyone before.”

         “Then you should just quit. Come back here and pick me up and we can run away to some island or something.”

         “Alright,” Justin answered with a quick laugh, “I’ll quit if you quit.”

         “K, you got yourself a deal. Want to see the dogs? I can move my laptop.”

         “No! I don’t want to see them, I want to see you.”

         “Ok,” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my lunch, “I’m going to eat my lunch, alright? I’m starving.”

         “Yeah, eat away. What did you get?”

         “Just a stir-fry”

         “Sounds good. So tell me about what’s new since the last time we talked.”

         “Um, not a lot babe. Just studying, not exciting at all.”

         “Yeah, same here. We live such planned lives, we need some spontaneity.”

         “You could come back, that’d be real spontaneous,” I said as I fed the dog some of my food.

         “Did you just slip my dog some food?”

         “Um… no?”

         He laughed, “I saw you! What’d you give him?”

         “Just a piece of broccoli.”

         “I thought you like broccoli.”

         “I do, but Bailey likes it more,” I laughed as I threw another piece down, “I only like broccoli when it’s smushy and this is hard and crispy so I’m not all for it, ya’know?”

         “Of course,” he smiled, “You’re crazy.”

         “You love it.”

         “I do. I have something to show you, give me a sec.”

         “Alright,” I continued eating as he played around on his computer, “What is it?”

         “Patience my dear, now who’s the one that needs to relax?”

         “I guess that would be me,” I laughed, “hurry up!”

         He chuckled, “alright babe, check your email.”

         There is a strong possibility I just squealed, “This is exciting, it’s like Christmas.”

         “Don’t get too excited, it’s not like I bought you a car or something,” he laughed as I tried to focus on my email, “You’re so fucking cute when you’re all concentrating.”

         “Shut up,” I whined, feeling myself turn red.

         “Alright, let me know when you open it.”

         “OK, I’m opening it!”

         Justin laughed at my excitement, “You’re such a nerd. Open the first picture.”

         “I’m not a nerd, be nice,” I laughed as I opened the first picture of him on stage at a show holding his hand up with the word ‘I’ written on his palm. “Cute, look at you all hot and sweaty up on stage.”

         “Yeah? You like that?”

         “Yeah, kinda sexy.”

         “Alright,” Justin laughed, “Try to control yourself. Open the next one.”

         “Ok, I’m trying to control myself,” I laughed as I opened the next picture, which was of him, still on stage, playing a guitar with a heart on it. “Ooh I like this one even better.”

         “Keep going.”

         I laughed as I opened the third picture that was of him with the word ‘you’ written on the leg of his pants. That was the point that I felt my heart literally melt. I never thought that was possible, and when my friends told me how in love they were with some guy I always kind of rolled my eyes. But that was the moment that I actually got it. I continued looking through the pictures of him on stage, in front of thousands, with words written on different parts of him. One set said ‘I love you’ one said ‘I miss you’.  The last picture made me laugh, a picture of all the guys on stage standing in a row, each of them having a different word on their shirts. Spelling out ‘we all miss you <3”.

         “That’s so sweet Justin, you’re going to make me cry.”

         “No, no don’t cry,” he laughed, “That’s not what I was going for.”

         “I love you. And I miss you terribly. I miss all of you,” I laughed.

         “Good,” he smiled as he grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip, “So, you’re done Friday?”

         “Yeah, one more final and I’m done.”

         “Then what?”

         “What am I going to do?” I asked and watched him nod his head, “Relax. Play with the puppies more, I was thinking I’d take them for a walk up on the canyon. Do you think they could handle it?”

         “Um…” he’s playing around on the computer again, “Yeah, I don’t know. I mean probably, if you take someone with you. Not by yourself with both of them.  Not by yourself in general up there.”

         “I know, there’s all those serial killers.” I answered sarcastically.

         “Nah, I’m serious though Ken.  A lot of shit goes down up there. You shouldn’t go by yourself. Plus there’s all those coyotes,” he smiled, “Anyway, don’t get me distracted, I’m trying to talk.”

         “You are talking.’

         Justin laughed sarcastically, “So, as I was saying, since you’re done Friday you should come out here.”

         That kind of caught me by surprise. “To Atlanta?”

         “Well, that’s the thing. I’ll be in Memphis. It works out, huh? You can come down Saturday. I have a show Saturday night and then a couple days off until I’m somewhere in Virginia. It’ll work out you can come with me for a little bit. I mean, if you want.”

         I didn’t even try to hide the smile on my face. The thought of getting to see him in three days is absolutely amazing. And it’s so cute the way he comes up with this stuff and then gets all nervous towards the end.

         “You could meet my mom,” he continued, “She’s been asking about you, she wants to meet you.”

         “My parents want to meet you too.”

         “See then, it all works out. We could all do dinner after the show. I could get them tickets. Or no, that’d be weird. Would that be weird?”

         “Why would it be weird?” I laughed.

         “Because it’s like, hey come to an NSYNC concert and watch the guy your daughter is dating get screamed at by a bunch of teenyboppers that faint as he walks by.”

         “Oh they faint, do they really?” I asked sarcastically.

         “Sometimes.” I laughed at his reply, “They do! It’s kinda like those fainting goats, no body has any control over it.”

         “You’re funny.”

         “You’ll see.”

         “I’m excited to see that,” I laughed.

         “Good, you’ll see it then.” Justin laughed, “Anyway, distractions. So you’re coming then?”

         “Yeah, I’m coming. But, I’ll only come if you let me buy my own ticket. I have extra money from loans and…”

         “Oh yeah, that makes complete sense. Please, use the money you have borrowed from the government and have to pay back plus a high interest to come see me. Complete sense.” He answered sarcastically, “Not going to happen, Babe. It’s already done.”

         “What do you mean it’s already done?”

         “Check your email.”

         I opened my email again to see a ticked confirmation waiting for me. “Ugh, you already bought me a ticket? I hate when you do that stuff.”

         “When I do that stuff?” he chuckled, “When have I ever bought you a plane ticket? I love that you hate when I do that kind of stuff, but I’m not going to stop. So, you need to get used to it, even if you don’t like it.”

         “That doesn’t seem fair,” I pouted.

         “It’s completely fair. You’re the only girl in the world that complains when her boyfriend wants to buy her stuff.”

         “No. You can buy me like dinner or flowers but a new computer because mine takes a whole minute to turn on or plane ticket home is a little extravagant.”

         “It’s not Ken, deal with it.” I heard a door open and Justin turned away from the computer and told whoever it was he’d be down in a minute. “I have to go, I’ll call you later.”

         “Fine, good way to get out of the conversation. Pretend someone came to the door and told you you had to go,” I answered with a smile.

         Justin laughed, “God, I miss you. I can’t wait to see you Ken. Saturday, you’re leaving at 8 in the morning. I was going to get you a later flight so you don’t have to get up so early but then you’d be late getting here and I’m selfish like that.”

         “8 is fine,” I laughed.

         “Alright good. I’ll call you later then. Bye Kendall. I love you.”

         “Bye Justin. I love you too.”

~*~*~*~*~

         “I think that was a good day,” I said as I fell on the bed, ready to pass out. It was a very good day, very productive. My little guy is all grown up. That sucks.

         “It was an amazing day,” Kendall smiled as she crawled into bed next to me, resting her head on my chest. I’ve missed this more than I can even say. “Are you feeling better about everything?”

         “Yeah,” I nodded my head and ran my hand through her hair, “It’s just weird thinking he’s going to real school in the fall.  And it’s just him, ya’know. He’s all we got. That’s it for babies.”

         Shit. I always manage to bring that stuff up and ruin everything. Why don’t I ever think before I speak? Here comes a breakdown.

         “I know,” Kendall answered after a few seconds of silence, “but that doesn’t mean that’s it. I mean, we’re still young.  I don’t think that means we necessarily have to be done do you? I mean, I think, it’d be something to talk about… having more kids. Not now but I mean… if we… like… well… you know.”

         “Yeah, I know.” I’m glad she’s laying on my chest and not looking at me right now because there’s no way I could hide the smile that has found it’s way to my face since she just said we could have more kids. Things may be finally be going back to normal.

         “We should take JJ to Disneyland to celebrate.”

         I laughed out loud at that one, she caught me off guard, “We just went to Disneyland.”

         “So?” she giggled, “Fine. Where should we take him then?”

         “Ken, remember how we spoil him and we didn’t want to spoil him? And when we were in Vegas he refused to sleep in Rachel’s room because the bed wasn’t big enough or soft enough.”

         “Oh yeah,” she whined, “Fine. We won’t take him anywhere. That wasn’t cool.” She traced my chest with her finger as if she was really thinking about something. “So my mom, when you were out talking to my dad and before everyone else came, she was asking what was going on. Anyway she said how she could see I’m happy again and that she knows how much I love you. And how much you love me and how you were always looking out for me and wanted to get me help when I needed it and…” she trailed off.

         “It’s ok, Ken.”

         “It’s really not. I really wish she had said something back then. I know I probably wouldn’t have listened but still.  I felt like I was doing the right thing because you were the only one that said I wasn’t. I know I should have listened to you more than anyone else because you knew what I was going through but I didn’t. I’m just really sorry. And I feel like my parents could have stopped it. I shouldn’t blame them, I know but…”

         “Your dad apologized to me today,” I broke in to save her, “He said that they should have been on my side but they were worried about you and they thought they had to let you do what you were going to do. They thought you’d do it anyway and if they said you were wrong then you’d turn against them too. It’s alright Kendall, I guess I kind of understand where they’re coming from.”

         “I’m glad he talked to you. This whole thing is just such a mess, I’m really sorry.”

         “I know you are Kendall, it’s fine. We’re doing alright now.”

         She nodded her head before crawling on top of me, “I know and that really makes me so happy. I just want to make sure that it stays like this. I want to go and find somebody, a counselor. And I know I said that before but I mean it. I really want to.”

         “OK.”

         “You don’t have to come, I just want to make sure that I…”

         “I’ll come, I’ll definitely go. This is good. I like this.”

         “Good, I like it too,” she smiled before gently pressing her lips against mine, “I really am happier than I have been in a really really long time.”

         “Me too Ken, me too.”