“JJ you need to make sure you stay with me until we find your Daddy, alright?” I said as I fixed his hair in the back of a car on the way to the golf course. Today is Justin’s annual golf charity in Las Vegas. Since I still work with his charity I’m here as well. The charity is for kids so this year we decided to have the kids tag along, hence the reason why JJ is here ready to go in his full out golf gear. He looks adorable. I know this should be interesting for Justin, especially since he’s been trying to get JJ into golf pretty much since he was in the womb. I just hope he’s able to control himself since I’m sure JJ won’t be good, based purely on his lack of soccer talent.

         “I’m gonna. You know what? Daddy took me once to play with the golf. I got the ball and I put it right in the hole, it was easy Mommy.”

         “It was easy? Daddy tries so hard to get the ball in and you thought it was easy?”

         “Uh huh,” he giggled, “Cause Daddy hits it with the stick. I just pick it up and put it in. It’s so easy that way, ya’know?”

         “You’re right, it sure does seem like it’s much easier that way,” I laughed as the car stopped at the course. “Remember to be really good today, ok? Because Daddy’s really working, I know it seems like we’re all having fun but he is working.”

         “I know Mama, cause Daddy has a fun job so sometimes it doesn’t seem like he’s working but he really is.”

         “I don’t even have to tell you anything, you already know everything.”

         JJ giggled and grabbed onto my hand as we walked to the course. “That’s cause I’m so smart. When is Daddy coming?”

         “He should be here soon.” I assured him. Justin won’t be late for this because it has to do with his work and everyone will make sure he’s here on time. If it were half as late for his work things than he is picking up JJ he’d probably be on Where Are They Now instead of the cover of Rolling Stone.

         “Next year we need to do the charity somewhere where it’s not a hundred degrees.” I said as we drove from the airport to the golf course. I didn’t even get to go to the hotel first, it’s straight there. I hate feeling rushed and I sure as hell feel rushed right now. It doesn’t help that it’s so fucking hot and humid; we’re in the dessert it’s not supposed to be humid.

         “Vegas is a dessert J, obviously it’s going to be hot. You should be happy you’re going to get a bottle of water,” Rachel, my cousin slash “assistant,” said. I put that in quotes because she doesn’t do too much to assist me. It’s not that she’s lazy it’s that I don’t need someone to wipe my ass. I’d rather just refer to her as my cousin; it makes me feel less Hollywood.

         “Thanks for that insight Rach, I knew I kept you around for something.” I threw an empty water bottle at her as we pulled into the parking lot, “Ken’s here, right?”

         “Yeah, obviously, with the little one.”

         “Is Kaylee coming?”

         “Nope, she’s working.” I know I let out a sigh of relief with that. It’s not that I don’t like Kendall’s sister; it’s just that she’s so protective of her. I guess she has the right to be, I did do Kendal wrong. But I think Kaylee takes it’s a little far. Plus it doesn’t help that she’s also Rachel’s best friend. They’ve been friends since they were kids. They went to grade school together and then I guess went to different schools. I can’t keep track, all I know is whenever Kaylee and Rachel are together there’s a lot of giggling and shouting. It’s weird that Kaylee brings that out in Rach, she was always such a tomboy.

         “Too bad,” I don’t think that sounded sarcastic. I didn’t mean it to. Rachel would have liked Kaylee to come, so in that sense it is a shame.

         “Daddy!” he must have seen me from afar because I didn’t even notice my son yet. He comes running at me like I’m a superstar. There is no feeling like that.

         “What’s up man?” I asked as I picked him up to hug him before I put him back down and Kendall came jogging over to us. She looks gorgeous, although she always does. I always thought she looked her sexiest when she’s wearing a pair of sweats, well besides when she’s wearing my shirt. I just feel like she did something to look extra gorgeous today. She’s only wearing a pair of kaki Capri pants and a blue tank top but damn.

         “Oh gosh, he just like runs off. Had me scared to death.” Ken said all flustered. She’s really over protective with him. Obviously he was running to me, I was a few feet away, it’s not that big of a deal.

         “You can’t run away from your mother like that J. You have to wait for her. There’s a lot of people here, you have to stick with one of us all the time.” I figured I might as well take Kendall’s side with this, especially since that’s what got me in trouble in the first place.

         “Oh. Sorry. Guess what Daddy? I get to play with you!”

         “Yeah, I heard. That’s exciting. What’s up Ken? How are you doing?”

         “Good. Did you just get in?” she asked as she fixed JJ’s collar.

         “Yeah. I had to do some press for this before I could leave so they just sent me out this morning. How’s your hotel? Alright?”

         “Yeah, it’s really nice.” She smiled as Rachel came over, “Hey Rach, how are you?” Rachel got a hug. I didn’t get a hug, for the record.

         “Hey lady, how are you doing? You look gorgeous.”

         “Oh please, I’m kind of scrubbed out,” Ken laughed. She’s never been good at compliments but I’m glad someone told her. I wish I could be the one to tell her but at this point in our relationship I would think that would be frowned upon.

         “Yeah, sure” Rachel laughed, “Where do you want me?”

         “I think you can help out over at the check in for now, thanks Rach.”

         “Sure. What about you little man, you’re not even going to say hi to me?”

         JJ giggled and gave Rach a hug. “Hiiiiii.”

         “Hiiii,” Rachel laughed and grabbed onto his hand, “Come with me for a minute. I gotta show you something.”

         She’s sneaky, or at least she tries to be. She’s always doing something to get Ken and I alone together. I don’t know what she thinks is going to happen, but I appreciate the effort.  “So, uh…” I began but Ken broke in quickly.

         “I have you playing with David Beckham because I figured the boys could play together. I think they’re about the same age, right? And then the guy that won the auction will be playing with you too. His name is Dustin Perry. He’s in his sixties but he’s playing with his grandson, Victor, who is seven.”

         “OK,” I answered with a head nod. I really don’t care too much about who I’m going to be playing with. I’d rather talk to her, but of course that doesn’t seem too possible.

         “Alright. Well I’m going to get to work. You can go practice at the batting cages you guys are numbers 1, 2, and 3 so whatever one you want.”

         “The bating cages?”

         “Yeah.”

         I couldn’t hide the smile, she’s just so damn cute and clueless, “It’s a shooting range.”

         “Oh, well I don’t know. Whatever it’s called.” For a second I thought she’d be pissed but she laughed it off. Thank god she’s in a good mood, “Thanks for clearing that up. It’d be real embarrassing if I were to send everyone to a bating cage. All right, I’ll see you later. JJ’s with you now, right?”

         “Yup, I got him.”

         “Good luck.”

         “Well… good luck.” Ken said to be one night at Duffy’s. Not just one night, the night before I left for a month tour in Europe.

         “Good luck?” We’d only been dating a couple of months, but it seemed like so much longer. I knew I didn’t want to leave her, and judging by the look that was covering her face she didn’t want me to leave either.

         “Yeah. What else should I say?”

         “I don’t know,” I took a deep breath and grabbed onto her hand. It was too loud in there so we went outside and sat on the stonewall by the parking lot. Ken leaned her head against my shoulder and played with my fingers. “It’s only a month.”

         “A month is a very long time. 30 days, 31 in fact.”

         “It goes by fast though.”

         “I guess,” I’d never seen her pouting like that before and it was kind of sexy that she was acting like that because of me. “I kind of wish you could stay.”

         “I wish you could come.”

         “I have finals. Maybe next time you should plan your tour around my finals.”

         I laughed and put my arm around her, “I think that is something that is going to have to happen. You could always come out after finals.”

         “I could. No, I couldn’t.”

         “You could if I made you.”

         “Are you going to make me?” she let out a quick chuckle when I nodded my head.

         “That is if you’re still interested in me and haven’t found someone more exciting.”

         “Oh please, like that could happen,” she rolled her eyes before kissing me gently, “I love you.” Did she really just say…  “Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud? Shit. I didn’t mean to, I mean… Gosh, this is so embarrassing.”

         I held onto her arm and stopped her from standing up. She looked about as red as a lobster, cute as hell. I couldn’t help but laugh myself, “Why is that embarrassing?”

         “Because we’ve only been together a couple months and I…”

         “I love you.”

         “Really?” she looked up at me, “You’re not just saying that because I said it? Like, don’t say it because you think you have to because maybe…. Maybe I didn’t mean it.”

         “I mean it,” I assured her, “Did you mean it?”

         “Yes,” she spoke softly and nodded her head.

         “Alright then, we’re on the same page,” I laughed and kissed her forehead, “You’re definitely going to have to come out. There’s no way I’m going to make it a month without you.”

         I think it’s safe to say today was a complete success. These events are usually really stressful but they end out great. Today wasn’t that stressful, mostly because I have a really great team of volunteers that definitely go the extra mile. It helps that I give everyone ice cream after, with Justin. It’s still weird how excited some people get to see Justin. I’m not surprised, I mean I do see what they see, some of them just take it to the extreme. I couldn’t imagine getting that excited to see anyone.

It’s now eight o’clock and I’m really looking forward to the night alone in this suite at the Bellagio. Rachel begged me to let JJ stay with her tonight so they could have a sleepover. There are not too many people I trust JJ to stay with but Rach is definitely someone I can trust. Plus, JJ loves her. She gets so silly with him he laughs the whole night. I think I might call down to see if they have any bubble bath. There’s an amazing tub looking right on the strip with the perfect view of the fountains. At first I was a little nervous but I’m sure no one can see in, I’m on the top floor.

         There was a slight knock on the door that made me question if I already called down for room service. I’m pretty sure I didn’t but I think I’m more tired than I thought I was. A whole day out in the hot dessert sun really gets to you.

         When I opened the door I saw Justin standing there with a smile on his face, “Hey.”

         “Hey. What’s up?” more like, what are you doing here?

         “Are you busy?”

         “Well, I was just going to…”

         “It’ll just take a minute,” he walked right past me and into the living room. OK, why ask if I’m busy if you don’t even care?

         I followed him into the room and stood beside the couch he was sitting on, “Justin, I’m kind of busy.”

         “It’ll just take a second,” he said before licking his lips. I’ve known him long enough to know something’s up when he does that, “I just… want to talk to you for a minute.”

         “Is everything alright?” I sat down on the other side of the couch. I could feel my heart beating in my throat, he gets me so nervous.

         “Yeah, yeah it’s nothing like that. I just… I saw you talking to Tom Brady.”

         I took a minute to let that set in before answering, “I talked to a lot of people today Justin.”

         “Yeah, but you were like, really talking to him.”

         Honestly I don’t even remember talking to him, I’m sure I wasn’t really talking to anybody. “OK, I don’t think I was but… even if I was, what exactly does that have to do with you?”

         “I’m just saying, he’s not a guy you should get involved with.”

         He can’t be serious. “He’s married!”

         “That means shit in this city!”

         I laughed at that and stood up to get myself a bottle of water, “You said it, not me.”

         “What does that mean?” he stood up and followed me, “I never cheated on you,” he spoke calmly, “You know that. You gotta know that, right Ken?”

         “Yes, I know that. Of course I know that. I didn’t mean it like that Justin, I know you never cheated on me.” That is one thing I do know for sure. He would never have cheated on me; he’s not that kind of person. I know that’s something girls say when they’re in denial but it’s serious with him. That is one thing I was sure about our whole relationship. That had nothing to do with us breaking up. “I just mean that he’s married to a supermodel.”

         “Giselle’s got shit on you.”

         “Well…” I’m not quite sure how to reply to that. It was sweet to say, even if it’s a complete lie. “Thank you, but that’s not true. I don’t even remember talking to him. Also, for the record, if I wanted to talk to him I could. I can do whatever I want because we’re divorced. You can be with your little hoes so if I want to I can…”

         “Seriously Ken, stop with the hoes. I don’t know where you get your information from but I’m not fucking any hoes.”

         Sure, we’ll let him pretend that’s true. I know for a fact that he’s with girls. There’s nothing wrong with that, we are divorced, but I don’t know why he’s pretending it’s not true.  “OK well, I’m still busy so…”

         “Well wait, that’s not even why I came. Do you want a drink or something?” I held up my bottle of water, “I mean a real drink.”

         “No, thank you.” I don’t really want to spend the night with him here.

         “Alright,” he walked over to the window and paced back and forth, “You got a nice view huh? The fountains should be starting up any minute.”

         What does he want? “Justin,”

         “Alright, sorry. So you know how I’m starting the tour next month? Well I was thinking since we can’t really send JJ on a plane back and forth every week that we should do it like a month at a time. Say, you got him the first month, then he comes out on tour for a month.”

         I think my heart just stopped beating, “No. I can’t go a whole month without him.”

         “I was just thinking it’d be fair. Maybe if you don’t want to do a whole month we could do a couple weeks.”

         “No! The lawyers said we need to stick to the schedule.”

         “I know what the lawyers said Ken, I just thought we could talk about it.”

         “Well I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not fair for you to take him away from me for a whole month.” I think I’m about to cry. The thought of it makes me sick.

         “Alright, calm down. You could think about it. What’s fair for JJ.”

         “What’s fair for JJ is not living out of a suitcase on tour with you! You have interviews and rehearsal all day and who’s going to put him to bed when you’re on stage? It’s ridiculous for you to even suggest…”

         “Alright. We’ll talk about it later. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He spoke quickly. I may be getting worked up a lot but he’s fucking crazy if he thinks I’m going to send JJ on tour with him for a whole month. I don’t even want him to go out there for a couple days. It’s such a waste anyway; Justin’s always so busy. Rachel will be taking care of him the whole time. I swear sometimes he does this just to piss me off.  “Do you want to go get dinner?”

         “Are you serious?” I shouted, “You’re telling me who I can and who I can’t talk to and telling me you want to take my son for a whole fucking month and you think I’m going to go get dinner with you?”

         “Come on, I’m hungry. You’ve got to be hungry.”

         “I was just going to relax…”

         “We could just get room service,” he suggested. We? No. More like I was going to take a bath, slip into my nightgown and eat by myself in my bed. That’s not going to happen. I know he’s not going to just let me do what I want to do and leave. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get dinner with him. Maybe we’ll be able to actually talk about something that we don’t want to fight about. It’s not good for JJ to see us fighting. We don’t ever fight in front of him but I’m sure he can still tell. “Come on Ken, give me a break.”

         “Alright, fine. Dinner. Let me get changed.”

         “Thank you. Take you’re time I’ll make reservations.”