There you go in all your beautiful glory

Messing with my head like you always did

  I watched him from across the crowded room, a sense of comfort and deep saddness taking over.  He looked amazing but then again he always did. He carried himself with such confidence and self-assurance that it was impossible to not be attracted to him. I'd like to say that seeing him is getting easier but that's the farthest thing from the truth. It's actually getting harder.

  It's been seven months seen I've been alone with him, four months since I saw him and two weeks since I last spoke with him.

  You know how some break ups the guys says 'let's stay friends'? Usually that's bullshit but Justin really means it. He'll call to check in and see how things are going. I ignored the calls for a while but it was useless. Not only because we had such a connection while we were together- we did by the way- but because we were such good friends before. And I don't know about you but I just can't throw away five years of friendship.

  All these memories are hitting me as I see him turn his head and lock eyes with me from across the room. I gave him a small smile which he returned. He raises his hand to offer a small wave before grabbing his drink and excusing himself from the two people he's talking to before making his way over to me.

  "Hey." He gives me a hesitant smile. Almost like he's worried about my reaction.

  "Hey." I return the smile. He reaches his hand up to rub across the back of his neck and I watch his arm flex against the black t-shirt he's wearing. I lick my lips as my memory flashes scenes of naked skin against naked skin.

  "How've you been?" he asked.

  I shrugged, crossing my legs. I don't miss the way his eyes traveled up and down my legs that were sticking out of my skirt.

  It was like when he did shit like that, I really started to question my sanity. Did he do it out of habit or was there something more to it?

  "Just working, you know?" She said looking up at me with those big green eyes that I fell for so long ago.

  I nodded. Taylor always worked her way into my head and I don't really know how to handle her. Obviously we didn't have the best of relationships since we were no longer together but we never lacked in sexual attraction, that's for damn sure.

  Aside from having a body that most women would die for and most men did double takes for, her personality sucked you in and you couldn't help but love her. 

  I looked back up at her and I know she saw me eye her legs and she smirked at me, licking her lips again. My breath caughts in my throat a little watching her. 

I'm thinking things I don't want to say

And I can't breathe

What do I have to tell you girl

So you won't leave

  "So...." He trailed off, looking towards the door. "You wanna get out of here?"

  I bite the inside of my lip to keep the smile from forming. Oh, I knew exactly what he wanted and I wanted it too but I really didn't want to have him keep messing with my head.

  He always did that, I'm sure unintentionally but messing with it none the less. I know it was part of his nature to be caring and attentive but as the ex-girlfriend it wasn't what I needed.

   "Where?" I asked. 

  We both knew I was stalling.

  "Anywhere." His eyes teasing but silently hopeful.

  I took the beer from his hand, taking a big swallow before placing it back down.

  "Yea, let's go."

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

Go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Kiss me again, let me pretend

That it's not wrong

Baby lead me on

  I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, head tilted back, completely relaxed. 

  We drove around LA for a while, making small talk but completely avoiding what we both knew was going on. After a while he finally drove us back to my house.

  We were sitting in the backyard, a bottle of wine between us. Before we left the party, I had already had a comfortable buzz going on but now with the wine in me, the urge to reach out and touch him was getting stronger and harder to control. 

  Suddenly he turned to look at me, eyes dark and not just from the lack of lights. I swallowed hard.

  "You know....I've been thinking about you lately." He said, voice soft and a little unsure.

  I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What about me?"

  His tongue reached out and licked his lips. "Just stuff."

  I smirked at him. "What kind of stuff?"

  His eyes roamed my body and I could feel myself heat up.  

  "Justin," I started, almost scared. "I want this but I need to know what it means."

I wanna touch your skin, I wanna taste it

I wanna feel that love like we used to make it

  I hesitated, not sure what she meant. Actually, I did know. Taylor's not the kind of person to just sleep with someone and have no feelings about it. Of course she'd want to know what this meant.

  I searched her eyes, trying to figure out what she wanted. It had been a long time since I needed to know what she was thinking and I find it hard to do.

  I don't want anything to come from tonight. We broke up for a reason and no matter what it was, it happened and it was for the best.

  I think a small part of me just wanted to be with her tonight to feel loved again.  Maybe I just needed this one last night with her. I hadn't lied when I said I had been thinking about her. 

I don't care if we go nowhere

You're all I see

One more night with you

Is all I need

  He shifted so he was facing me and I almost stopped breathing.

  "I want tonight." He said softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my hair.  His hand slowly trailed down my check then down my neck.

  I watched his eyes roam my face to my lips. My breathing hitched as he brought his face closer to mine.

  His eyes started to close and before I could stop myself I whispered, "Tell me."

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

Go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Kiss me again, let me pretend

That it's not wrong

Baby, lead me on

  I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was holding her breath, eyes begging.

I know what you want 

I know what you need

I know when I'm gone

You'll still think of me

  I held my breath as he looked at me, not speaking. Hell, I don't think either of us were breathing.

You know what I want

You know what I need

I know when you're gone

You won't even think of me

  "I love you Taylor." he whispered before leaning in and kissing me.

Tell me what I want to hear

I don't care if you're lying baby

I just want to feel you touch me right now

So go ahead and call it love

Tomorrow you can deny it baby

Whisper my name, baby no shame

Is it so wrong?

Baby, lead me on

  I turned to look at her sleeping peacefully in her bed. I know I probably shouldn't leave like this but it's best to leave before she woke up and we were both left with unanswered questions. With one last look, I turned and left.

I know what you want

I know what you need

I know when I'm gone

You won't even think about me

Baby, lead me on