I roll over on my back and stare at my ceiling. I spent all night tossing and turning, replaying that kiss between Ethan and that girl. I went though all the stages of a break up overnight. Hurt, humiliation, anger, hurt again, more anger, sadness. Part of me knows that it's over but a very small part of me keeps thinking I should talk to him. Give him a chance to explain. Maybe there's some sort of explanation.

Heaving deeply I throw the covers back and throw my legs over the side of the bed.

The apartment is silent as I make my way down the hallway and towads the kitchen. Coffee is calling my name. The biggest cup of coffee I can muster. Like Central Perk size coffee.

I come to a standstill when I see Justin standing in my kitchen, a bowl of cereal in his hands.

He eyes my bare legs sticking out from under my t-shirt. A smirk forming on his lips. I reach and pull the hem down.

"Is that my shirt?" He eyes me.

I look down. Shit, it is his shirt. Well, kind of. I stole it from him when we were dating and never gave it back.

"I ah....be right back." I turn and hurry back to my room where I pull on a pair of shorts.

"So....you stayed here last night?" I ask him as I walk back into the kitchen.

He nods. "Yea, I was worried to leave you alone." He pauses when I give him a confused look. "You were kind of catatonic last night."

I blush and avoid his stare. "Well thanks for helping me, I guess."

He rinses out the empty bowl before leaning against the counter to face me again. "So, you wanna tell me what happened?"

I shake my head, tears prinking my eyes again.

"Alright, I can handle that." He crosses his arms over his chest. "But whenever you want to talk about, if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thank you." I smile softly at him.

~

"I think you should talk to him." Lori shifts in her seat. "I love you, you know that. But you guys are in an open relationship. Maybe what you saw was all there was to it."

"I know. I keep thinking that too." I sigh. "But I mean, he kissed another girl. And that fucking hurts."

"I know it does but the guy did say he loves you."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, our waitress briniging our food.

"Have you talked to him?" She questions me.

"No." I shake my head. "I keep ignoring his calls."

"Before you jump to any conclusions, I really think you should talk to him."

"Do I tell him that I saw him? Or just pretend it didn't happen?"

Lori sets her fork down. "That's up to you. I would but you know me, I'm all about the drama." 

I laugh. "Ok, so next time he calls, I'll talk to him."

"Good." She picks her fork back up. "Now, tell me again why we aren't drinking alcohol with our lunches?"

~ 

After my lunch with Lori earlier I came home and thought and re-thought about this whole Ethan and the blonde skank kiss. I know she's right and that I do need to talk to him but I'm hurt.

This guy told me time and time again that he loves me. That he wants to be with me. And I believed him. He's been everything I could want in a man. Thoughtful, kind, funny, he's listened to me bitch about how shitty my day was. In short, he was there. Even before I saw the kiss and he was across the county, he was there.

Always a phone call away but he would listen to me for hours on end every night. That means more to me then he'll ever know.

*ring*

I pick up my phone and look at the caller ID. Ethan.

My finger hovers over the end button.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey!" His voice comes through the line. "How are you?"

"I'm ok." 

"I miss you." He says. "I wish you could come out for a weekend or something."

I swallow. My stomach in knots as I mull over if I should say something to him or not. I should just do it since I already picked up the phone. I know that I cannot have a normal conversation with him with all this stuff going around in my head.

"I need to tell you something." I blurt out.

"Is everything ok?" I can hear the concern in his voice.

I pull my legs up on the couch. "Um...not really." I pause to take a deep breath. "I was in Knoxville the other day."

"Really? Why didn't you tell me?" He interrupts me. "Maybe you could have come to the show."

"I did see you."

He hesitates. "I don't understand."

I chew on my bottom lip. I need to do this. It's like pulling off a band-aid. Just do it.

"I was at the bar and saw you." I pause. "I saw you with that blonde girl."

"Oh." He finally gets out.

I lick my lips, not really sure what he means by that.

"Look, Taylor, that was nothing. Just an old girlfriend that I haven't seen in a long time. It didn't mean anything." He pauses. "I'm really sorry. I don't want you to think it meant something. Cause really....when we kissed, I didn't feel half of what I feel when I kiss you."

Despite my best efforts, I can't help but grin at his comment. 

"I swear to you Tay, it didn't mean anything. I love you. Only you."

"Has there been anyone else?" I ask, voice shaking slightly.

"No." He say firmly. "There's only you."

My mind is spinning. I want to believe him. I think a part of me does. He has never lied to me before. Months of unbroken promises. Maybe it really was an old girlfriend and she just happened to be there. I know he's from the area so it's not too much of a shocker there.

"Taylor?"

"I believe you." I find myself saying.

~

I'll say it again, I hate mornings, especially Monday mornings. I pull my car into my parking spot and drag my lazy body into the building.

I smile at the girl at the desk, wondering why there's yet another new girl manning the front. It seems like there's someone new every week or so.

I put my stuff down in my office, taking the time to turn on my computer and Itunes. I'm in dire need of coffee. The cup I had this morning didn't wake me up and I really don't want to be that girl in the office who bites off someone's head.

Once the computer is up and running, I walk toward the breakroom where I know coffee will be waiting. Even though there's always a new girl at the front desk, the coffee is always waiting.

I pause mid-sip when I hear two voices in the hallways. Justin and someone else. A female someone else.

"Thanks for coming out here in such short notice." He says.

"It's no problem. You're the boss."

I roll my eyes at her blatant flirting. Women will do anything for this man. If only I could tell them the stories of how not sexy he really can be. First thing in the morning, without breakfast or coffee, he's like the devil.

I see them stop in front of the breakroom and I drop my cup.

Both heads turn quickly towards me.

"Taylor?" Justin asks, stepping towards me. "You ok?"

I look between him and the girl. The blonde girl.

I nod and Justin turns back to the girl. "Look, we'll just talk later." He says to her. "Let the guys know the album is doing great."

She smiles brightly at him. "No problem." She glances at me. "Bye."

I watch the girl turn and walk away. I can't stop wondering what the hell she's doing here and how the hell she knows Justin.

"You ok?" He reaches out and rubs his hands up and down my arms.

"Who was that girl?" I ask.

His brows furrow. "Lisa?" He points towards the elevator she just walked into. "She's the tour manager for the guys."

My heart stops. "What guys?"

"Ehtan and the rest of the guys." He looks at me funny. "I thought you meet her already? She's been with them since they left."

I can feel my hands start to shake. The skanky blonde that kissed my boyfriend has a name. Lisa. She also has a job. My boyfriend's tour manager.

What the fuck is going on?