"Payton hurry up!" Justin whispers.

  "I'm coming. Calm down." I reach my hand out for his extended on. "Someone had to bring the snacks."

  He rolls his eyes and helps me into the small deck boat. "You know he'd kill me if he knew I was taking this out without letting him know first."

  "Then why are we going out?" I settle into the padded bench seat at the front as he starts the engine. "We could just sit at the dock."

  "What's the fun in that?" His eyes full of mischief.

  I grin and shake me head as he maneuvers quietly towards the center of the lake.

  We've been doing this for years. I'll be sitting at home at the phone'll ring and all he needs to say is 'you wanna?' and I'm on my feet moving towards the kitchen to pack up some food.

  He knows me and he knows all he has to do is ask. He could ask for anything and I'd do it. That's what best friends are for.

  We've been friends since the fourth grade and I was the new kid. The other girls used to pick on me and then one day he just told them to stop. That's all it took for me.

  We stuck together after that. The two of us against the world and I didn't think that would ever change. Until recently. We were graduating in a few months and we have different plans. Mine taking me across the county while he stays in state. I hate to think about it, it hurts to know he won't be there whenever I need him. Sure, he's just a phone call away but that's not the same. We'll both be so busy with out new lives, new schools, new friends. I'm terrified we'll never be like this again. I'm not ready to lose him.

  "I'm really going to miss this." He says softly from the chair behind the wheel.

  I turn my head to look at him. His head tilted back looking up at the night sky. 

  "You know, it won't be the same without you." He looks at me.

  I smile. "I'll miss you too Justin."

  "Well that's a given."

  I let out a snort of a laugh. That's part of the reason why I love him so much.

  I love him. More than just as a best friend. I'm in love with him. I have been for a while now. I'm not sure how it happened or when it happened but it just did. He's everything I could ever want in a guy. He understands me on a level that no one else ever has before. He knows all my secrets, all my dreams, my fears. There is nothing I keep from him. Except for this.

  I can picture it. Us, years from now. Together. I can see us being together and happy. Deliriously happy. I can see us going to school together. I'd stay and go to school here, at home, for him. I see us pursuing out dreams and taking on the world together. I see him asking my dad for permission to marry me. I see the wedding. Justin standing there in our small town church next to Mr. Childers, our minister, tears in his eyes as my daddy leads me down the aisle. I hear him say 'I do', proudly and full of love and all the promises he intends to keep. I see the kids we'd have. In the yard teaching our son to play baseball or taking our daughter to ballet classes.

  That's what hurts the most. Knowing all that we could be if I could just get the courage to tell him how I feel.

  Instead I just sit here with him. On this small boat in the middle of the lake.

  "Scared of what's going to happen?" He asks.

  I shrug. "A little."

  "Me too."

  The silence between us is comfortable, neither of us feels compelled to fill it. 

  "You know, I got accepted to state." I tell him.

  His heads snaps back to me. "What?"

  I nod and look out over the water. I applied to state, where he's going to be going just in case. In case of what I'm not sure. I got accepted to my first choice school. I didn't need a back up. 

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  I shrug. "Scared."

  "Of what?" I feel the boat rock a little as he walks towards me. "Payton?"

  I pull my feet up and rest my chin on my knees. "Lots of things."

  His eyes search my face, waiting patiently for my answer. Now would be the perfect time to tell him. Tell him everything but I'm so scared. I can handle it if he doesn't feel the same way about me. What I can't handle is losing our friendship. I need him in my life.

   "I'm scared of you leaving." He says.

  I lift my head and look at him. "Of me leaving? Why?"

  Even in the dark I can see him blush a little. "It's going to be weird without you around. I mean, we've been friends forever and I don't know what it's like to not have you right there when I need you."

  My chest tightens and my eyes water. "I know."

  He smiles softly at me. "But we'll be ok. I know it."

  A tear escapes the corner of my eyes and travels down my cheek.

  "Please don't cry." He reaches out and brushes it away. "It'll be fine. You'll see."

   I believe him. How could we not be ok?

  "I love you, you know that." He grins.

  "I love you too."

  "You're my best friend."

  I swallow the knot in my throat. "Mine too."

  "We probably should get back." He stands. "My dad's going to freak out if I keep his boat out much longer."

  "Yea, sure." I nod. 

  The ride back to the dock is silent. He jumps out of the boat and I thow him the rope to tie it up. I grab the luch bag of snacks I had brought and reach for his hand.

  He pulls me up onto the dock and smiles at me, still holding onto my hand.

  I take a deep breath as his hand squeezes mine.

  "Justin, I need to tell you something,"