Chapter forty-one

"Do we really have to wear these?" Joey asked eyeing the tuxedo in front of him.

"Yeah, I guess so." Justin responded trying on the jacket labeled `Timberlake' "They aren't too bad. We can change when we finish performing, besides they go with the song.

"Yeah Joey stop crying!" Lance said with a giggle.

"I just don't like wearing these things." Joey said also trying on his jacket.

"Yeah whatever Joey. You are just afraid of commitment." Jc added.

"What does that mean?"

"Tuxedo? Commitment? They go hand in hand." Jc said laughing at his friend.

"Anyway I'm going to go see ju.."

"If they have juice?" Jc said cutting Joey off. Jc opened his eyes wide as Joey was about to blurt out Juliana's name.

"Yeah, you read my mind." Joey said realizing what he almost did. Justin looked at him puzzled. His friends were acting a little weird for their own good the past two days. He wondered what was going on.

"What are you two talking about?"

"Juice." Jc and Joey both answered and headed out the door. They had a couple of hours until the show started so they wanted to spend some time trying to convince Juls on talking to Justin.

     Juliana paced the dressing room. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't able to sleep the night before. The guys kept her up until the crack of dawn. Even if she didn't want to hear it. They told her everything that Justin did to try and find her. They assured her he still loved her. But he didn't trust her when she needed him to. And to truly love someone you have to trust them with all your heart. He hadn't done that. Juliana didn't know what to feel anymore. She heard one time that tears were a sign of love and or anger. Juliana hadn't shed a tear in over a month. What did that mean? Was she happy? Maybe she didn't love him like she thought she did. But why does my heart ache at the mention of his name? she sat on the chair and the stylist started on her hair.

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"I like these things."

"I bet you do, Joe." Jc said looking at his friend who was almost drooling.

     They walked to the other side of the arena where the models were walking around in basically nothing. A couple of them looked at the two men gawking. After all they were two fifths of Nsync. None of the women seemed shy at all. And neither did Joey. He said hello to everyone that crossed his path. Jc on the other hand just smiled shyly. If Bobbie saw me now. he thought to himself. A smile came to his face when he thought of a better view than the one in front of his eyes. A view that included black leather. He wanted to go home already. Bad.

"Excuse me do you know where Juliana Moore's dressing room is?"

"Yeah, sure. Down the hall third door on the left." The tall red head pointed. She looked at Joey and winked. Joey's smile grew wider.

"Thank you." Jc said pulling Joey by the arm.

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     Juliana heard a knock on the door and yelled for whom ever it was to come in.

"Hey!" Jc and Joey said coming inside the room.

"Ohh come on guys give it up. You know when I said I missed you guys? Well I take it back."

"Aww, you don't miss us Juls?" Joey said sticking his lip out like Ashley would have done.

     Juliana laughed. "ohh I see you've been talking to Ashley. I can't miss people when they are in my face twenty-four-seven."

"You know she came to our Pittsburgh show."

"Really? I didn't know that. Did he see her?" Juliana asked referring to Justin.

"Yeah, he did."

"Good, she adores him."

"How about you?" Jc asked sitting on the couch and grabbing a magazine.

"How about me what?'

"Do you adore him?" Joey asked leaning against the door.

"Don't start this again guys." there was another knock on the door. Soon after two head popped in. "Ohh. Figures! Don't you have rehearsal or something? Leave me alone for a while, damnit."

"Nice to see you too, Juls." Chris said plopping himself next to Jc.

"Argh." Juls turned around on her chair and faced the mirror. "go ahead. Thank you." she told the stylist who stood there quietly while the guys invaded her room.

"I'll be back to do touch up in a while." the woman said walking out to the crowded back stage area.

"So, how come you get a room and everyone else walks around naked out there?" Lance asked curiously."I mean I rather be out there but wow, did you see all that Joe?"

"Oh yeah!" Joey answered with a rise of his eyebrows.

"Thanks Lance and here I thought you wanted to come see me."

"I'm kidding. Geez, so did you decide?"

"Decide what?"

"Come on Juls. Don't act dumb with us. Are you going to go talk to him?" Jc said setting the magazine back down.

"I don't have anything to say to him." Juliana said trying to fool not only them but herself.

"That's a load of bull, Juls and you know it." Chris added.

"Guys, seriously I don't need this right now. Please?"

"Juls, you are going to have to face him sooner or later. We will leave you…" the door opened just wide enough to reveal Jc and Chris sitting on the couch,

"Are you guys hiding from me or something? I had to ask around where you guys went." a voice said outside the door. Juliana froze on her chair. Justin.

"Justin!!" Jc said getting up and walking to the door. "What's up?"

"You're asking me? What's up with you guys? Where's Lance and Joey?"

"Umm."

"Why are you holding the door C?" Justin noticed Jc's hand conveniently placed so the door couldn't be opened wider.

"Umm we.." Jc didn't know what to say. The other four people in the room didn't move.

"What's going on C?" Justin asked again with a laugh. He figured it was some kind of joke. "Who's in there? What did you guys find a stripper or what?"

"Not exactly." Lance said from behind the door. Justin looked at Jc and gave him a smile. Jc knew what Justin was going to do. He was going to push the door open. Before Justin even attempted to touch the door he took his hand away.

     Justin looked at Jc now with a strange look on his face. He didn't want to open the door at first. Yet he doesn't care now? ookay. Justin thought. He put his hand flat on the door and slowly pushed it open. Chris, a table, Lance and his heart came up to his throat. He froze in place for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

     Juliana looked up in fear as the door came completely open to reveal the man who at some point had stolen her heart.  She stared into his eyes and she wanted to die. Why does it hurt so bad?

"J, look we are really sorry we didn't tell you sooner." Justin turned his gaze over to Jc. Justin gave him a dirty look, but didn't say anything. Jc knew Justin was pissed.

"I told them not to say anything, Justin. Don't be angry with them." Juliana spoke for the first time and her voice made Justin shiver. John had been right, she wasn't the same. She felt cold. The other four guys felt the change in her when Justin walked in. Where was the Juliana they were talking to seconds ago?

     The four guys walked up to Juliana. They took turns and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Jc was the last in line.

"Go easy on him. Let him talk." he whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss. He looked at her and smiled when he felt her trembling. Only one thing could cause that type of reaction. Love. All the guys walked out of the room. Leaving Justin and Juls alone for the first time in six months. Justin had imagined what their first meeting  would be like. He had a million things to say and yet there he stood with absolutely no idea what to say. Juliana just looked at him waiting for him to speak. He didn't.

"If you don't have anything to say I suggest you leave." she said coldly.

     Ouch! Justin said to himself. I guess I deserve that. "Can I sit down?" He finally let out.

"Whatever." she responded turning her back to him and faced the mirror. Justin looked at her. God he missed her. Her hair was at least five inches longer. The curls came over the back of the chair and the way the light hit it made her glow. He wanted to reach out and touch the silky tresses.

"J, can you turn around?" he asked softly.

"Don't call me that Justin!" she snapped. He was the only person who ever called her that. It was a show of affection in his part to call her by his nickname. She didn't need that.

"You aren't going to make this easy. Are you?"

"Easy? What the hell do you think? Do you think it was easy to hear you call me a slut? Do you think it was easy for me to leave my family and friends behind? Do you think it was easy for me to stop loving you? If you think you are going to come in here and apologize and I'll come crawling back to you. You got something else coming Timberlake."

"I don't believe you when you say you don't love me." Justin said a little choked up.

"Yeah, well believe it. You said I disgusted you. The feeling's mutual."

"You don't mean that."

"Well, that sound familiar." She said sarcastically as the exact words she said pleading with him six months before came out of his own mouth, six months later.

"Don't do this, Juls."

"Don't do what Timberlake? Hate you? Because that's all I feel for you anymore." Justin's heart ached as bad as it did when he walked out of her hotel room in February. Deep down he knew she didn't mean that. But it hurt none the less. Justin stood up and bravely walked up to her. She immediately stood up. She knew what he was about to do. He was going to kiss her. Having him so close made her knees weak. She stood in front of him for a second and pushed him away from her. "Get out Justin!!" she said avoiding eye contact.

"Juls?"

"Get out!" she shouted. Justin looked at her and wanted to cry when he saw the scar on her right hand. He'd caused that. He bravely reached over and grabbed her hand.

     Juliana stood there looking at him. He looked her in the eyes then lifted her hand up to his lips. He kissed her hand. "I'm sorry for this." he looked at her and moved closed to her. She backed away a little only for him to move closer. Her chest was now against his. He got close to her lips and Juliana just looked at him. Inside she was getting a little hot. He was so close to her that if he stuck the tip of his tongue out. It would be inside her mouth. He then surprised her by pulling her bathrobe open and his head went down to where her heart was beating. Faster and faster. She didn't stop him. Truth was she couldn't move and it felt too good to have him close. He made a shape of a heart with his pinky and looked at her again. Juliana noticed the ring she had given him on the pinky he used to make the shape of the heart. He leaned down and kissed the imaginary heart. "I'm sorry for this." All this was done slowly and quietly. He looked into her eyes and cupped her face with both hands. Juliana felt like Jell-O. She closed her eyes and his lips landed on her nose. He knew that when he kissed her nose it made her go crazy.

"Get out!." she said softly. Not that kind of crazy. Justin thought.

"But J, I.."

"I told you not to call me that, Justin. Get out!." her voice got louder. "She's gone. The girl you used to kiss like that, is gone. You had your chance with her and you ruined it. Live with it." she said back in the position she was before he grabbed her hand.

"I can't live with that, Juliana. You love me and you know it." Justin shouted back. He wasn't angry at her but at himself. He didn't know what to say or do anymore.

"Learn to live with it, Timberlake. Now get out of my room and my life for that matter."

"I love you, Juls" Justin said walking towards her again.

"SHUT UP!!"

"Please let me.."

"Get out Justin. I mean it." she said opening the door. A tall man walked up to the door.

"Is everything alright Ms. Moore?"

"Yeah Mike. Mr. Timberlake was just leaving." Juls said looking at Justin.

"Can I show you to your room Mr. Timberlake?" the man asked.

"No thank you. I'll find my way back." he said still looking at Juls. He really did mean it literally. He'll find his way back into her heart.

     He walked out of her room and walked passed the hundreds of women who stared at him. Any other time Justin would of felt like a piece of meat but at the moment he simply didn't care. He was now on a mission. First he had four heads to bash in. Then he had to get his girl back before he died of misery. If that was even possible. Justin walked into the room. "Lonnie can I have a moment with my best friends here?" Justin said when he saw Lonnie playing a game with Lance.

"Sure." when he was out the door. Justin slammed the door shut.

"Calm down J." Jc said unsurprised by his reaction.

"Calm down? I just found out the girl that I've been looking for over a month now, is in the same country as I am. Hell the same building and my best friends knew about it. And you are telling me to calm down?" he went up to his Playstation console and kicked it. It shattered into two pieces against the wall.

"You know that's your third Playstation in a month. Get another target." Joey said not even looking up from the magazine he was reading.

"Maybe I should get another target." Justin said looking at Jc.

"Hey man, don't look at me."

"How long have you known she was here? And don't say six months cause I swear I will beat the shit out of you, not even Bobbie will be able to tell where you start and where you end."

"J, relax. We just found her two days ago." Lance said putting the board game away.

"Two days? Two FUCKING DAYS!!!"

"JUSTIN, STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND LISTEN!!" Jc yelled back.

"How? How did you find her? we've looked everywhere."

"Obviously not everywhere." Chris said with a small laugh.

"Yeah I see that."

"So I'm guessing it didn't go too well." Lance asked.

"Not really. No." Justin said leaning on the wall and falling to a sitting position. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Go to the bathroom man!" Jc said before Justin flew up and ran to the toilet where he left his lunch.

"Wow, if that's not love. I don't know what is." Chris said laughing. The other three joined in.