It was something different with his kiss this time; she could feel it. It wasn’t so much desperation; it was much more tenderness and affection.
When he pulled away slightly he kept his forehead against hers and stroke her back in small circles. She closed her eyes and breathed. She wanted so much to ask him what this meant, what he felt, what he wanted from her, but she wasn’t brave enough. She was afraid of scaring him away if she pushed him to put words on what was happening.
She wanted to ask him about her father too, but she didn’t want to kill the loving atmosphere surrounding them. Somehow she felt so safe in his arms, like nothing bad could ever happen to her again. Like his arms were shields from everything. In his arms it was just the two of them, blocking out the world, and she wanted to stay in them forever.
He pulled her head against his chest and breathed deeply while he stroke her hair. None of them said anything for a while, but the silence was not uncomfortable.
-“We’re gonna be fine” he suddenly whispered, and she nodded in agreement. She’d believe anything he said right now.
He pulled her face up and kissed her again, this time harder and stronger, and she lost her breath. His tongue was exploring her mouth with so much passion, and his hands running up and down her sides drove her crazy. She had never experienced lust like this before, never felt the desperate need for another person’s touch. But with Justin…She just couldn’t get enough of him. She had no control around him, something that scared her at first, but now she started to appreciate him taking the lead. She had shown her true colours to him, and he was still there.
He gasped as he broke the kiss; the need for air took over the need for her mouth. He pushed her gently down on the couch and positioned himself on his knees between her legs. He moved his hands in a slow caress up her thighs to her hips, watching her pupils widen and her lips softly part to draw air into her lungs, and he never lost eye contact with her. He smiled at her and she gave him a shy smile back before she looked away. He leaned over and grabbed her face with his hands, leaning down to gently bite her bottom lip.
-“Look at me, Jordan. Don’t look away.” His smile was so inviting, and she felt her lips curl up and she giggled, holding a hand over her mouth to hide it.
-“Don’t be embarrassed.” He continued to smile. “It’s okay to like what my hands are doing. It’s supposed to feel good.” His fingers tickled the inside of her thighs, light as a feather, and she shivered.
-“Just let yourself enjoy it” he whispered, and his voice made her feel relaxed. She closed her eyes for a second when his thumb ran over her panties slowly. He could feel how her wetness started to come through them and he bit his lip and drew his breath. He hooked his fingers on both sides and slid them off slowly. The slow was killing him, but he managed to keep his self control letting his shaky fingers open her shirt, button by button. As soon as the opening was big enough he let his hands slide inside over both her breasts, his thumbs circling her nipples.
-“You are so beautiful” he whispered. “You look amazing”
She opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her by putting his finger on her lips.
-“Don’t. Just relax. Let me make you feel good. Just lean back and enjoy. Do you trust me?”
She nodded slowly and he smiled again. She loved watching him smile at her like that. It lightened the mood, it eased their heavy minds, it normalised the situation.
He leaned down trailing small kisses around her hips, letting his tongue make drawings on her skin. She lifted her hips as she whimpered, but he pushed her down again. His thumb played at her entrance, spreading her juices around her outer lips.
His finger found her tight swell end he pressed hard before releasing it, taking in the sounds of her moans. He continued, egged on by her sounds and her motions.When he removed his finger he felt her squirm and arch, seeking the return of his touch. He slipped a finger in slowly, soon followed by a second one and he watched her closely as he curled them up. He knew she was losing control now, she had entered another world where pleasure was all that mattered. And all he wanted was to give her that pleasure.
He lowered his head and put his tongue on her, nibbling and teasing, so slow and so sensual. She let out a moan of ecstasy like she had never done before. Her whole body was trembling, her breathing short and erratic. His mouth was still on her and he was sucking her as gently as he could. He continued to lick and suck while slowly rubbing her thighs until she started to come down. Just when she thought she was able to breath normal again, he started it all over again. It didn’t take long this time, and when he gave her a satisfied moan and hummed into her clit she could do nothing but loose herself into the satisfaction again, grabbing the pillow above her head with all her power, holding it over her head to muffle her cries, but he quickly grabbed it and threw it away, making room for the sounds he loved to hear.
He was breathing just as heavily as her when he laid down next to her, holding her close.
She spent a few seconds after her orgasm squirming, feeling shy and somehow awkward that she had let herself go in this way, but when he pushed her face up with his nose and giggled at her, she couldn’t help but grin satisfied.
-“Feels good?” he asked.
-“ Thank you!” she whispered and he laughed out loud.
-“My pleasure, baby. Anytime.”
She laughed back at him and hid her face in his chest, breathing in his scent, feeling his arms tightly around her as he kissed her head.
After a while laying in his arms she felt the guilt creeping up on her. How could she allow herself to get lost in her own satisfaction when the world was falling apart around them? She knew she had promised him to not talk about things tonight, but she couldn’t hold it in anymore.
-“Justin, I need to know…” she started and heard him sigh.
-“Not now” he murmured into her hair, but she forced herself to look at him.
-“Please, I can’t relax until you tell me what happened today.”
He drew his breath and closed his eyes.
-“He’s gone, Jordan, I told you that.”
-“That’s not enough, Justin, I need to know how…”
He lifted himself up and she whimpered by the loss of contact with his warm body. She watched him as his palms covered his eyes and rubbed them tiredly.
-“We made an agreement” he sighed.
-“What kind of agreement, Justin? Don’t leave me in the dark here, this has everything to do with me, don’t act like I’m prying into your personal life here!”
-“I know, I know…” He bit his knuckle and stared out into the air. “We settled the lawsuit”
-“How? With money?” She got up in a sitting position next to him. She noticed his tears just as he quickly got up and started pacing around with his back to her. She knew she had ruined the night now, but it wasn’t fair to ask her to forget everything for one night when she had so many questions he had the answer to.
-“He’s getting nowhere near us” he mumbled.
-“How much did you pay him?” she whispered.
-“It doesn’t matter”
-“It matters to me” she said as she got up and walked towards him, running her hand over his back comfortably.
-“Just lay off, okay!” he shook her off, his breathing becoming irregular, his tears running freely.
-“Justin, please, just talk to me! You don’t have to try to be strong, just tell me what you feel, what…”
He turned around to her.-“YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I FEEL?” His yelling made her take two steps back. She knew better than stand close to a person with this anger.
-“Justin, don’t…”
-“I’ll tell you how I feel, Jordan! I lost EVERYTHING today, okay? I lost my dignity, my girlfriend, my career, EVERYTHING! Do you understand that? All I asked for was ONE FUCKING NIGHT! One night without talking about this, one night trying to forget, but you couldn’t give me that! You had to ruin it, didn’t you?”
He turned to face the wall, and banged his head and arms repeatedly into it.She watched him slowly fall apart, and she didn’t know what to do. She was scared, but not of him, just for him, and for them. What felt like heaven a few minutes ago had turned into hell.
-“I’m sorry you feel that way” she whispered. “You should never have been brought into this”
-“You know what? I shouldn’t!” he turned around to her again. “It’s not my battle! I shouldn’t have to lose everything I’ve build up because of your problems!”
She returned his gaze and took a deep breath.
-“You’re right. You shouldn’t” She started to walk away from him, then turned around, her eyes full of sadness. “You don’t have to stay, Justin. You're free to leave”
