I have spent nearly every day in the studio for the last three weeks. It may be a different studio everyday but I was on a mission to finish recording this album. I had a lot of great ideas and a lot of not so great ideas. The record label is pressuring me to finish it but I wasn't going to finish something just to finish off the album. It had to be perfect.

            There was so much going on with the album and William Rast. The initial designs were done and I had been working on putting things together to take them to New York this week. I was taken the only days off from the tour to get things together. It would be the first time I would be away from Justin since I left Ohio. I loved waking up next to him every day. Thinking about being alone when I go to bed or waking up in the morning makes me think of the last moments I spent with Matt and how I felt that first night going home... that pain was unbearable, my world had shattered to pieces that day....

            Driving home from spending the weekend in Cleveland with his family I knew there was something wrong. I knew that this weekend had really changed our relationship. His sister and mother had both told me countless times that they had never seen him so happy. That he would marry me, that we would be so happy together. They were wrong on so many levels.

            I knew the moment we started driving on the open freeway that there was something on his mind. At first I thought maybe he was going to propose, he was fidgety and nervous. I had just had conversations with his mother about getting married and it just seemed to fit. He started talking about all the good times we had, the moments that he would never forget. Just when I thought he was going to ask me to spend forever with him I instead get, "Mel, I don't know how to tell you this other than to blurt it out... I have falling in love with someone else. I didn't mean for it to happen. I was content being with you. I may not have ever been in love with you but you loved me and I was content with that. I think that it is time we separate and hopefully stay friends. Because I do love you, you are my dearest friend but I'm not in love with you. You deserve to find someone that loves you back..."

            I think I sat there for nearly five solid minutes not saying anything, I couldn't remember how to breathe. I finally told him to pull over, I needed to get out. We were about an hour from home and I called the only person I knew in the world that would come and get me.

I barley could speak the words, "...Kia"

"Mel, is that you?"

"...Yes" Words were not easy to get out at this moment.

"Mel, honey what's wrong?"

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Where are you?"

"I think I am near Boardman somewhere." I knew that we had just past the exit.

"You think? Where is Matt? Why are you there alone?"

"I'm not."

"I'm getting in my car right now, what is going on?"            Steve heard her panicking and kept asking her what was going on.

"I just need you to pick me up. I cannot be in a vehicle with him anymore... Kia he is in love with someone else. He said he never loved me..."

"WHAT? I will kill that mother fucker."

"Trust me if I had the strength right now it would already be done."

"I'm on my way. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"No, just get here as soon as you can please."

            Matt nearly threw a tantrum when I asked her to pick me up. He continually called me selfish, and told me I was blowing this way out of proportion. I needed to grow up and accept that things happen and life moves on. I had gone from complete bliss to complete heartbreak. I suddenly got wind and blurted out exactly what I needed to say.

"I am blowing this out of fucking proportion? Do you realize that your parents and sister thought you were going to propose to me? They had me convinced I had found my other half... I had loved you more than anything in the world and you just shattered me, and everything I am. I really hope that whomever this person is that you have fallen in love with treats you with all the respect and honestly that you fucking deserve, because you deserve more heartache than anyone should have in a lifetime. Just remember that this.... This is over. Don't call me, don't send me flowers, and don't even think that I will take you back again. I am done. This is over. You have hurt me for the very last time."

"I don't want to end things like this."

"What so I can be your backup, I don't fucking think so."

"Mel, don't do this."

"How long have you been with this other person? How long have you been sleeping with her? How long have I been the fool at your side?"

"It's not like that."

"What do you mean it's not like that? You haven't slept with her yet? I find it highly unlikely that you have fallen in love with her and you haven't slept with her. I think you should just stop running in circles around your lies now, it's all over, and you can fess up to everything."

"Six months."

"Six?" I swallow really hard. How could I have been blind to his actions for six whole months?

"I swear to you it started off as nothing. Then somehow it escalated to what it is now. I never meant to hurt you."

"However you didn't feel the need to break it off with me, because I deserved that right?"

"That's not what I am trying to say. I honestly thought it was nothing between her and me. I was happy with you..."

"I don't even what to speak to you anymore. This is done."

            Steve and Kia arrived a couple minutes later, being escorted by a cop. Only they would manage to be escorted. Matt had left me on the side of the road because he didn't want to face my friends, he didn't want to face Steve. He jumps out of the vehicle before it is even at a complete stop.

"What the hell? He left you here? I am going to kill that mother fucker." Steve doesn't play games, he was serious.

"I just want to go, please can we just go?"

            Kia helps with my things and lets me cry on her lap the entire way home. "Thank you for dealing with my craziness. I didn't know what to do." I couldn't imagine that this has even happened to me. I had let my entire life revolve around marrying him, having children with him, making him happy. I had given up everything for him. I gave up an amazing job offer for him. He didn't want to move out of Ohio, I did. But I stayed just for him. I made him happy with everything I did.

            It took me a very long time to be able to hold my own head up again. I told myself over and over again that he would be the last guy to control my feelings and hurt me like that, but was he worth giving up on love? Was he worth the emptiness that I felt every day?

It may have taken a couple years but today as I stand alone in the airport terminal I know that there is a guy that wishes I was still laying in bed next to him rather than be in this airport about to fly a couple thousand miles away from him. I knew that I was a stronger person because of the pain I had gone through. I knew that he wasn't worth a single breathe that I breathed. I knew that I had found love, real love. That makes every bit of pain worth the love that I share with Justin.

***

            ‘Johnny I need someone that is qualified and not a total waste of my time." I am attempting to convince Johnny that I need a good assistant. "Not one that will sleep with my boyfriend or one that will sleep with my boyfriend's business partner."

"I am trying. I have one that has been in the business for a couple years that is very interested but it's a money thing. She wants an outrageous about of money." He doesn't seem too interested in getting this person.

"She needs to know the music world and the fashion world. My schedule is going getting really crazy already and I am simply just recording and putting designs on the table."

"I promise I will get you someone with the week."

"Well, I just landed in New York City. I am headed straight over to the William Rast offices. Do you think I can meet this assistant you want to hire? It would be great if I could see what she is like before you invest money into her."

"That can be arranged, she is in NYC right now. I spoke to her yesterday... I will find out when she is available and I will have her meet you at the WR Offices."

            As I walk into the WR office I realized that it felt different this time. I wasn't walking in as Justin's girlfriend I was walking in here to deliver fifty designs for the new couture line. I was the one they were waiting on. I was the one that was going to be leading these designs into an actual line. Not just a thought anymore this was really going to happen.

I was not as nervous as I thought I would be. I walked into the conference room with complete confidence that I had some amazing designs that everyone was going to love. Everyone starts to filter into the room, this was it. It was about to begin.

I stood at the front of that room and introduced the pieces to everyone who may or may not support the fact that this is my job now. I don't think they realized that this was something that I could handle and it was something that Justin had nothing to do with. He saw all the designs last night before I left but he has always said it was all about me, this was choices I had to make. It was mine line after all. He joined in for a conference call, simply to hear what people thought about the line and he had an announcement that he was going to make to the entire meeting. I knew nothing about this announcement so I was a little worried about it.

The reviews were pretty damn good. Of course there were some that were skeptical if the line was what it should be but I would say 90% of that room was convinced that I had done a great gone. 

Trace finally stands to speak. "Justin, are you there?"

"I'm here!"

"Well the line looks amazing. I think that Melissa has outdone herself."

"I saw the sketches and the samples last night and I was overly impressed. I think the pieces that she has are not only universal they can be mixed and match from casual to dressy and throw in a little sexiness. I guess the real reason I am involved with this meeting today is to inform everyone the name of the actual line that is going to go to press... Ladies and Gentlemen the line that you just previewed is going to be officially named, "William Rast Couture by Melissa Roberts."

"Melissa, how do you feel about that name?" Trace is now staring me down.

‘I love it. I guess I didn't expect to use my name" I was shocked. I figured it would be named Couture because that is kind of what I pitched them but I never expected them to use my name. "Are you sure it is not to long?"

"The name?"

"Yes the name... that's a mouth full." I hear Justin laughing hysterically now. "Justin, please get your mind out of the gutter."

"I'm sorry. I am being serious now.... I think the line will be shortened to William Rast Couture but it is officially going to have your name attached to it. After all, this was you idea and your designs. You deserve the credit for it."

            After the meeting I was headed down to the design department to see the ideas they had for the website, the tags, the labeling, and some of the marketing ideas that they had. There was so much to be accomplished in just a couple days. Dealing with all these details through emails was accomplishing things but it was nice to have the actual product in hand.

"Mel" Trace's assistant, Alexis, is trying to get my attention but I was focused on the tag for the clothing. "Melissa, Meredith Stevens is here to see you."

"Oh, thanks Alexis will you have her meet me in Justin's office please."

"You do know that your office is ready right?"

"No I didn't. My office is fine." My office, that sounds really weird.

            I open the door to see a beautiful bombshell blonde sitting in the chair in front of my desk. There was no way I was going to hire someone that looked that that to be around my boyfriend all the time. Let's hope that she is not as good as Johnny says she is. She stands immediately to introduce herself. "Hi, I'm Meredith Stevens. It's really nice to meet you." Crap, she was nice.

"I'm Melissa Roberts. It's great to meet you as well. So I guess my first question is how do you feel about being away from home most of the time?"

"I have an apartment in Los Angeles and that is where I call home but the last three years I have been bouncing between L.A, NYC, and Las Vegas so I am used to being away from my family and friends. They understand that I love what I do and I like to be in a different place all the time."

"Well that is a great thing, considering that I am touring with Justin right now. The tour still has about a month left of this leg of the tour. Then it goes back on the road for four months, with at least one of those months being overseas."

"I love being in all different places, it's almost as if I am being challenged every day. I am up for the challenge. I understand that you are trying to prepare me for what kind of life it is being on the road all the time but honestly I am up for any challenge you can throw at me. I have seen you live, I know that your career in the music industry is about to blow up and I overheard them talking about you in the lobby about how great your designs are for William Rast Couture. I think that I am going to be a great asset to your career. Not to mention I am a great listener. I am very loyal and I won't disappoint you, I promise you that." Crap, she might actually be good at what she does or a great actress.

"You have amazing references from all of your former clients, why did you leave them?"

"Well I worked for my aunt for nearly four years. From the time I turned sixteen until just after my twentieth birthday."

"Who is your aunt?"

"Shonda Rimes."

"Seriously?"

"Grey's humor, I get it."

"I am seriously the biggest fan of that show. So what did you leave her?"

"No one took me seriously. They always saw me as the niece of Shonda never the person that could handle anything that was given to her. So when I decided to leave I joined a very low named actress whose career only blew up for one movie and then they got rid of me because she could handle scheduling her own tanning appointments now."

"Well, I am going to give you the chance. I have to warn you that I am a perfectionist. I like things done a certain way and done the right way. If I seem bitchy it's because of my OCD it's more than likely not something you have done."

"I would love the chance to work for you and watch you grow into this amazing artist and fashion designer."

"I will call Johnny and have him figure it all out. It was very nice to meet you. Hopefully I will see you out on tour with us in the next couple weeks."

"I would be on the plane tomorrow if I was offered the job."

            I knew that Meredith would not only be good assistant she would be a great person to have along for the ride. She seemed to be very down to earth but yet she has experience that would make her do her job very well. I also couldn't believe that her aunt was Shonda Rimes, how freaking cool would that be.