I hated walking alone in New York. The city was so big and made me feel like I couldn't get anything accomplished.  The paparazzi here was crazy compared to being on tour. I guess they didn't realize that Justin was in Florida filming the video for his second single. They were following me around as if they were going to get a shot of Justin. I wanted to see him so bad. I have spent two entire days alone in New York. I stayed in the office the entire day and night and didn't see much of the city but I would be glad to finally get to see him tomorrow afternoon.

I don't have time to dwell on anything because Anabelle is meeting me for lunch today. She just got into town and this would be the first time I have seen her since Trace informed her that he cheated. We have talked on the phone and exchanged emails but this is the first time I have got to actually sit down and talk to her. They have spent the last month trying to fix their relationship. They truly loved each other and I was glad that she gave him a second chance. It was a long way back to normal for them but it would be worth it in the end.

When Justin learned about the affair, he basically wanted to fire Mandy for unprofessionalism. He thought that she would have presented herself in a better manner, but that doesn't mean that Trace was off the hook either. It took Trace an entire month to pick up the phone and call him. They both screwed up and made the choices they did. They were going to have to live with the consequences and deal with what Justin dishes out to both of them.

I see Anabelle walk into the restaurant. I didn't know what to say to her about the Trace situation. She walks over hugs me and sits down and asks "How are you doing?"

"I am doing well, a lot of work here in New York... then back on the road tomorrow. How are you doing?"

She shifts her body and adjusts into her seat again. "I never thought my life could be so great and so in pieces at the same time."

"I have been there but somehow you have to be strong and pull yourself together. It's easier said than done that's for sure." I had dealt with it more than once in my lifetime.

"What did I do so wrong that made him want to sleep with someone else." The waitress comes over to take our orders, perfect timing. As of right now the press knows nothing about the affair we were hoping it will stay that way. We order our food and she leaves. "It couldn't have been our sex life because I know I want it just as much as he does."

"Usually it has nothing to do with the other person, it's a selfish thing. He has some insecurity that he has to deal with on his own. Nothing you could have said or done would have changed that. I think though now he realizes that his actions could have caused him to lose you. That scared him enough to make him step up and admit what he had done and want to move forward with you."

"I love him. I thought this was the person I was going to marry, but how do I ever trust him enough again to get to a place where I am ok with him being in another state and I am not worried that he is sleeping with someone else."

"It's different for everyone. I made the choice to walk away from my ex who cheated and I never looked back, however we didn't have the relationship that you and Trace have. He was someone that I guess I always knew wasn't going to be my one. I honestly believe that you and Trace have an amazing relationship, minus this whole situation... I guess what I am trying to say is, if you want this relationship to work, it will. Challenges are going to be rough but it could be worth it in the end."

"I want this to work. I want to spend forever with him but I have always had trust issues and he totally blew it out of the water.

"Trust is something he is going to have to gain back. That doesn't come easy. He has to earn it back, over time."

"I agree... let's talk about something cheerer!" She looks as if she just doesn't want to dwell over all of it again, right now.

"As long as you are ok and managing to get through the days, yes I will change the subject."

"I am ok. Every day is a challenge but I am managing."

"This isn't cheerer but I got a card in the mail the other day with a letter in it from someone back home?"

"Who, what did it say?"

"Jessica."

"The girl that was supposed to be your friend but was talking shit behind your back, while you were home for the weekend?"

"Yes her. She apologized for acting the way she did. Claimed she was jealous that I am living my dreams and she is still working the same job and wanted things to change for herself."

"So she took it out on you, like it is your fault she hasn't done something to change that?"

"I don't know what her issue is but I am defiantly not going to deal with it." Just then my phone is beeping, I got an email.

"Who is calling you while we are eating?" Even I wasn't sure because I knew that Justin was working. I had talked to him right before I walked into the restaurant.

"It's an email from Johnny." I am actually a little nervous to open it. He never emails me, he always calls.

"Oh no, is it bad?" Let's hope not. I don't want any bad news. As I read the email he says he is on a flight from NYC to L.A and that he had some news for me. "Melissa, what does it say?"

"...I am going to send your assistant over in the morning to meet you at William Rast. She has been informed that your flight leaves in the afternoon and she is ready to go. Please treat Meredith very well. Oh and by the way, you owe me.... big time!" I was ecstatic that he hired Meredith. She truly is the right person for the job. I am glad they he listened to me. I wanted to do a happy dance right in that restaurant.

"What does he mean you owe him?"

"I wanted Meredith, I thought she was right for the job but she wanted more money than the other one but Meredith had the experience and the knowledge that I really think will help me out. So I am guessing that she wouldn't budge on the money issue, which I wouldn't have either, if I was right for the job."

"I am so glad that you finally found one that is going to be there to help you out. Maybe you won't be spending twenty hours a day working. Maybe just maybe you will have a couple hours to yourself now. It's doubtful though because you like things perfect!"

"I am going to attempt to let her have some control, I don't know how that will work out but I have way to much going on now and it is only going to get busier so I have to trust someone."

I arrived at the office very early the next morning. I only had a couple hours to finish up some loose ends before my flight leaves. I stayed in the office very late last night. I wanted see my wonderful boyfriend who I have missed terribly.

"...Melissa, the material for the blazer cannot be here for at least a month? What should we do?"

I honestly thought that was a stupid question, "Order it from a different vendor. Get it here as soon as possible."

"But it is almost twice the amount."

"Brandy, it really doesn't matter right now. The blazer has to be on that runway, order it from both vendors for all I care." She just looks at me. "Just order it. I will sign off on it." I really didn't think it was that difficult of a task.

Trace has come to me with some major problem that I can't even think about right now. I had just over two hours before my flight left. Meredith has walked into a nightmare that is for sure.

"Good Morning Meredith, are you ready for this task?"

"Bring it on."

"Do you have your things packed?"

"Packed and ready to go!"

"Let's get started. Trace will have your email set up. Make sure that he has your cell phone on record. You will be working directly with Brandy here, god help us both.... I would love to tell you that this is the main priority right now but its' not. This is just as equal to my record. I have to finish this line within the next couple weeks but I also have to finish recording the album. Not to even mention it will all be done on the road, a different city every night."

"I am ready for anything."

Let's hope she is ready for the craziness that has begun.

"...Melissa?" I am rushing out of the office.

"Trace, I have to go now. My flight leaves in an hour. I will barely make it through security in that time. Can this wait?"

"Yes, I will email you the details. Have a safe flight."

The airport was a complete nightmare. There was a raging storm on the east coast. Everything was delayed across the board, some were even cancelled. This reminds me of the day I arrived in L.A. The rain was a downpour however this was a severe thunderstorm. Our flight was delayed an hour which didn't worry me much. But the whole idea that I was arriving back in town four hours before the show was nerve wrecking alone, however now it's going to be about three hours before the show. I would completely miss sound check.

I tell myself over and over again to never again fly in the day of an event.  This stress was too much. I didn't panic though until Meredith walked over to me with this look on her face that was a sign of panic. "What is it?"

"The flight has been pushed back two hours."

"So, another hour?"

"No."

"Three hours"

"Yes, but the woman at the counter guarantees me that this flight will leave on that time. The storm has cleared most of the east coast and the flights in bound now."

"Holy shit. So I literally will be running from the airport to the stage?"

"It looks like it. I spoke to Johnny, he is arranging for us to have a police escort straight to the venue. You will make it there in plenty of time. You set doesn't start until forty minutes into the show."

"You are wonderful! Wow. I need to call Justin. He will panic if I am not there when the show starts."

He seemed to panic a little when he realized exactly what time I was going to get in but he knew that I would do everything I could to get there in time. I wouldn't screw up his show. He made me cry when he said, "I miss you. I love you." I have heard him say that so many times but it is amazing to hear that especially since we have been away from each for a couple days. I was not sure how I would handle the time apart from each other if it continued or worse if a couple days turn into weeks.

I hate sitting in the airport, doing nothing. My time could very well be spent doing something productive. There was a lot of work that needs done and I was just sitting here, doing nothing. I have my laptop I could check and see what Trace's issue was when I left. I didn't really want to deal with that right now but I open my email to find a list of about twenty things that Trace thought we should do before the fashion show. Great let's make my list even longer.

For a moment I forget that Meredith was with me. I am not used to someone being there all the time. She asks me "When is the last time you did nothing?" and to really think about it I had no clue. It always seems like I am doing something and even when I think I'm doing nothing it ends up being about something else.

"When I went back to the apartment last night, I was doing nothing." I smile at her. She knows I'm being sarcastic.

"I mean, really done nothing for an entire day?"

"I was doing nothing for the last hour just sitting here."

"That doesn't count. Doing nothing because you want to be doing nothing."

"It has been so long that I couldn't even remember it. I try to keep busy. Even before I had this career."

"You have to slow down and enjoy it." She actually did have a point. "You are going to miss everything if you don't slow down."

            Those simple words make me really think about everything. I want to make sure that I do enjoy the life that I have. I wrote an entire song just sitting there from her words.

Once we finally board the plane we are talking about life and the things we have done and the things we have always wanted to do.  She really was a genuine person, I was glad this is the person that would stand next to me for a very long time. I could see us becoming great friends.

My phone is blowing up when I arrive in Miami. I am guessing that Justin forgot to tell them I was on my way. I look at the clock. It was 9:09, Justin had been on stage for nine minutes and I am sure he is a wreck trying to perform and not think about the fact that we are flying down the interstate in a police vehicle doing roughly ninety-five. If he really knew this he wouldn't be able to think straight. We pull into the venue at 9:24 and I had literally sixteen minutes to get dressed and get on that stage.

Ron approaches me as they are zipping up the back of the dress. "Justin is freaking out.  It doesn't look like it on that stage but he is." All I could say was "I'm sorry, my flight was a disaster." Finishing touches were done on the hair and slipping the heels on as got into position. It was my moment and I was about to relieve everything that he was stressing over. The look on his face was priceless. He suddenly gained color back into his face and was beaming from ear to ear when I came down those stairs. I guess it helped that the stage director had given me the short blue mini dress that makes my legs look six feet long "Ladies and Gentleman, fresh off a plane Melissa Roberts."

The crowd was very responsive tonight. They were very loud. They really made me feel at home. At the end of the song Justin kisses me, but it was a normal kiss on stage kiss. He was all about it. It was the cupping of the face, holding onto the back of the neck, sensual, loving kiss. He finally stops and looks at the crowd and said, "She spent all afternoon in an airport due to the storms on the east coast and literally walked in this door at the beginning on the song. She deserves more love than that..." the crowd starts screaming. I love that sound.

I left the venue just after that performance and went to the hotel. I knew that some of the dancers and crew wanted to hit up the Miami night life but I was exhausted and there was only one thing I wanted tonight and it was to be alone with Justin. I left a note next to his blackberry that simply said, "I will meet you at the hotel. I love you - Mel"

Justin walked through the door to find a note on the table in the entrance way.

-Take off all your clothes, enter the bedroom.

He walked into the bedroom just as I had asked. I was standing looking out the window, watching the wave's crash into the sand. I'm standing in nothing but a pair of panties, panties that he had bought and left at the venue in a small gift bag with my name on the tag. They were black lace boy shorts, I may not have the ass that he is used to but the cut makes it appear as If I do.

I turn around to see him standing completely naked in front me. "I love it when a man does exactly what I tell him to do." I stepped closer to him, knowing that is all it would take.

"I love it when a woman takes control."

"I'm glad you enjoy losing control..." I am shaking my head no, with a smirk on my face "because you..." I begin to kiss his neck, "...don't have control tonight." I instantly drop to my knees and begin to show him what it is like to lose complete control.