Getting back on the road and finishing out this leg of the tour was Justin's main priority right now. He is into the groove of touring and being in a different every city. He loved being on stage nearly every night. I on the other hand was overwhelmed with everything for William Rast that I haven't really enjoyed the last month or so, on the road. I have been spending nearly every waking moment working on the line. I had to get the runway outfits finished plus finish the entire fall line. Things were hopefully going to start just falling together and Trace was on his way to meet us in Dallas, TX to work on things from the road with me for a couple days. We were on the last few weeks of the tour. Eight shows left to be exact.

            Justin has become very antsy, Trace should have landed already but he hasn't called. They were going to hit the golf course today for lunch. He comes into the living room that I have turned into a sewing room and simply asks, "Melissa, when did he say his flight was coming in?" I was irritated and I was taking it out on everyone around me. In lamest terms I was being a bitch. And unfortunately Justin is the closest person to me and I have been taking it out on him the last couple days.

"I'm not his assistant Justin, I don't know." I was a snippy with him.

He shakes his head, "I'm sorry I bothered you. I see you are still in this mood."

"I'm not in a mood Justin... I am just busy and tired."

"Do you think I am not busy? Do you think that I am not tired? You need to learn how to adjust your work. You can't handle everything Melissa. It is going to wear you down faster than you think. This is why we hire people to help us."

"I know."

"Yea... I know you know" he voice becomes very stern. A voice I have never heard from him before. "But you still insist on doing everything. You didn't even come to bed last night, have you been in here all night?"

"Yes, I have to have this stuff done before Trace gets here."I'm irritated that he is irritated with me working on his clothing line.

He is shaking his head again. He turns to walk out of the room and mumbles, "I want my girlfriend back." Then he slams the door.

            I felt the lump in my throat start to make its way to be noticed. I started to cry. This was officially our first fight. I never wanted to fight with him. He trusted me with his entire business and has put all this pressure on me, and then he wants me to drop everything when he wants to do something. I know that I can't do everything, but I was sure going to try. I am a perfectionist and most times, that don't let me give someone else control.  Was I supposed to drop everything now? Just quit everything I had started?

            I must have fallen asleep at the table because I woke up two hours later, on the couch with a blanket covering me. However I wasn't sure how I had gotten to the couch or how I managed to find a blanket. My only guess was that Justin moved me and made sure I had a blanket. When I finally adjust my eyes to what was going on around me, I see Justin watching me. How creepy is it to watch someone sleep? He has a worried look on his face. I hate that look on his face. Nothing good ever comes out of that look.

 "Is there a problem with us?"

Looking stunned I managed to get out, "What?" I sit up to make sure I wasn't dreaming this.

"I have barley seen you in three solid weeks. If we are not having sex or on stage performing, I never see you anymore. I miss the Melissa I feel in love with."

"Are you... ending this?" The tears start to run down my face.

He comes over to the couch and sits down next to me grabs my hand, "I would never do that, I love you. But if you're not happy..." he paused, closes his eyes then locks eyes with me "I just want you to be happy. I love you. More than I think I could ever explain but I do. I want to spend every waking moment with you the rest of my life... but if for some reason you are not happy I won't hold you back."

I interrupt him. "I fall more in love with you every day... I am beyond happy with you. Where is this coming from?"

"You have just been so distant lately that I didn't know if it was an issue in our relationship or what was going on."

"I have spent every waking moment trying to make you happy. I would never want to disappoint you. I have to make everything perfect you. I don't want to let you down."

"Nothing you could do would ever disappoint me or let me down."

"This clothing line is a huge deal. It's a part of who you are and I have to make sure that every detail is perfect. This album is on your record label... it represents you... of course it has to be perfect..."

 "I love you for you.  If the fashion line flops, it does. If the album only sells one copy, that means I have the only copy that matters. I love you. I don't want to see you stress over all of this and become someone you are not to make me happy over money. Material things are not as important as our relationship."

"I'm sorry. I have been distant but it's not because I'm not happy. I promise you I will release some of the strings. I thought this is what you wanted."

"I want you. That's it. Just you." He really is the greatest man I have ever met in my life.

"I love you." I kiss him and lay in his arms.

We are quite for just a moment then he had to say this.

"By the way, I spoke to Trace he cancelled his flight. He decided to stay in New York."

I sit up. "Why did he do that, there are things we need to handle."

"He has concerns just as well as I do. We need you to let go of some of the strings."

I raise my eyebrows, "Concerns?"

"Well, do you remember when Kia said something about your weight while we were in Pittsburgh?"

"Yea, what does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, I never noticed it before. I should have but I didn't. You never eat anymore. I honestly don't think it's on purpose. You just don't make time for it. It isn't a priority for you."

"Justin, I don't have an eating disorder."

"I am not saying that you have an eating disorder, but I am saying that you have to change some things. You cannot run yourself into the ground. You have to hire some people or something to help. I cannot watch you do this to yourself, for me. I just can't sit back and watch you fall apart."

"I would do anything in the world for you."

"Then I plead to you to hire someone, pull some interns that are already at William Rast, do something. Trace and I both agree that you need someone to help you. He has agreed to pay for whoever you need."

I climb on top of him and sit in his lap. "I will change these things, I promise." I start kissing his neck... "I will arrange for the interns to help..." I kiss down his neck...

            He lifts his head as if he almost wanted me to stop, "Mel, you cannot use sex... to distract me... This... is... serious."

            I laugh, "I would never..." I kiss him more... "...do something like that..."

***

I know that Justin needs more attention and I am trying very hard. It was three weeks before fashion week. We arrived in L.A two days ago for the last two shows of the tour. I was nearly done with everything for the fashion show. And of course all the pieces would fall together once I got to New York City. I had actually entrusted three interns to handle some of the things that needed done. I still have a lot of my plate, but I let some of it go.

We were leaving in the morning. I wasn't sure how excited I was about it. As I lay here alone in bed I wonder how I had gone from the small town girl to this extreme business person in just six months. How did I manage to almost lose the love of my life because of this? After this fashion show I was going to change the way I do things. I had to be focus on Justin and myself again. Then focus on the music or fashion or find a way to manage them both and still have things the way I want. Justin has been doing this for years. I should just listen to him. He is a perfectionist just like I am. If he could handle passing some things off, so could I.

I really wish Justin was here. He was at a meeting with some of his business partners. I had bailed out of the meeting because I was worn out. But here I was, just lying in bed thinking of all the times I should have spent with Justin instead of working non-stop. Finally he comes home around midnight and I was still awake. He climbs into bed and curls up next to me and he feels my body trembling. I feel like the worst person on earth. I have wasted too much time.

"I'm so sorry."

"Babe, what's wrong? You're crying."

"I have been working so much lately and I know that I have been a bad girlfriend. I know that I have been an even worse person lately. I am really sorry. I promise that I will make changes as soon as this fashion show is over and done with.

"You are not a bad girlfriend. You just didn't know how to balance in this business. That doesn't make you a bad person. It's all fine, I promise you."

"I am just so overwhelmed. I am used to being busy but not like this. And the pressure to succeed is beyond belief."

"Mel, please don't think about all this. You are amazing... Let's get a good night's rest and we will deal with things as they come."

It wasn't normal for Justin to just drop things like that. He was the one that was bugging me to pass things to other people, get some interns to help, and stop stressing over all the things that needed done. Maybe he was just tired, who knows.

The next morning I wake up and Justin is missing from the bed. This is becoming a habit. I looked around the bedroom and he has packed the suitcases already and was ready for our flight. He must have been up for hours, I was glad he packed because we literally had to be at the airport in an hour. I slept on the plane. I seemed to not to be able to catch up on sleep. I was always tired.

"Mel, wake up we are about to land." That voice was familiar but I wasn't expecting it. I shake my head. I must have been sleeping.

"Mel." I knew I was awake this time.

"Steve? What are you doing on the plane?'

"Gang Vacation, remember?"

"Oh my god, I totally forgot. I'm sorry guys I am headed to New York City. I can't go on vacation."

"I am sorry to break this to you. But we are about to land in Turks and Caicos!"

"I'm sorry, what?" I turn to look at Justin. "We have to be in NYC... today? I can't blow that off. I have to be there."

"I took care of it. After all I do own the company. They were never expecting you this week anyways. We were going as a precaution. After this past week I knew what I had to do. We had to get out of Hollywood. We had to get out of the fashion world. We had to get away from the music world. A week at the beach will do us all good."

"But I have things that have to be done."

"Yes, you do, but all that can wait until we get there. The only think you have to do for the next seven days is relax and have a good time. This isn't up for negotiation. You can take that ‘I am going to kill someone' look off your face. I made this decision and this is what we are going to do"

            What just happened? I had been kidnapped and taken to Turks and Caicos. Could I use the vacation? Yes I could but it comes at a very bad time. With the fashion show this close I shouldn't be off at the beach with the possibility of no phone or internet reception.  Justin looks at me and says, "You promised... I would like to cash that it right now... I love you." I wasn't going to argue, I guess I wasn't going to New York City.

            I step off the plane and pick up my phone to call Trace to inform him and everyone I wasn't coming but I had a slight problem. My phone was missing its battery.

"Justin?"

"Yes, dear."

"Where is my battery to my phone?"

"Oh that. Yea... that is in the bag with your laptop."

"And where exactly is that?"

"On its way to New York City." The smirk on his face is so cute, but really annoying me at this moment.

"You're joking right?"

"Nope."

"Justin, how am I going to make a phone call?"

"You have no need to. None of us do."

"What are you talking about?"

"When I scheduled this vacation, I made sure to tell everyone they are not allowed to carry their phone with them. The pilot took everyone's batteries when we got on the plane."

"So why exactly is mine in New York and everyone else's are with the pilot?"

"I knew you would sweet talk that pilot into giving it back to you." He was right, I would have.

"Ok well I need to tell Trace..."

"Done. He knew the entire time you weren't coming there this week."

"Meredith is going to..."

"Meredith knows what she is supposed to do this week, she is fine. Trace will instruct her to do anything that is needed... Mandy is with her as well. Your mother knows where you are. My mother knows where I am. Our Manager's, Our Agents, our PR all know where we are. There is no one we need to call. The gang is all here, who would you, need to call?"

I was irritated then it hit me what he just said, "Mandy is in NYC with Trace?"

"We have to trust them at some point. Trace promised me it will be completely professional between them from now on. He is happy with Anabelle. If they are going to screw up again, I guess it's better they do it now and get it over with."

"I sure hope they wouldn't go there again... I have to work Justin."

"No you don't and that word will not be used for seven days from ..." he looks down at his non-existent watch on his wrist "...NOW!"

"You're kidding right?"

"I am not. This is vacation and we are going to enjoy every moment of it. Relax... I love you."

            I caved in. I needed a break. I just didn't want it to be right now. I was going to spend the next seven days in Turks and Caicos whether I wanted to or not so I had better just enjoy it.

"I love you to. Let's go to the beach!"