Its 3am L.A. time and I am up for the Grammy nominations. I felt honored that they asked me to help announce the nominations so I was willing to get up super early and do it. Walking the red carpet into the Grammy Nominations at 4:30am however wasn't what I wanted to be doing. I'm not much of a morning person. I'm barely awake as it is and they are asking questions as if I am supposed to be able to answer them with any real thought process. They ask silly questions, stupid questions, and questions like this... "Are you nervous about the nominations being announced?" And of course all the words have to register through my brain before I can answer the question.

"No." I'm lying. I was scared shitless. "I'm here to announce the nominations. It's actually an honor that they wanted me to come do this."

"What if you're nominated today?" The interviewer asks, as he shoves the microphone back in my face.

"Oh, I don't even have to answer that. I won't be nominated."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's the Grammy's?" I chuckle."And my single wasn't out early enough to become a contender."

"Are you sure? I think you made the cut by two days or something."

"Wow, I didn't know that. It's all good I am happy to be here to announce the nominations to the people that deserve them!"

Meredith saves me from the scene. She informs me that I have to get inside now. It was nice to have her back in the same city I was in. With her doing so much work for me on the William Rast line I usually only communicate with her through email and phone calls. But with the album releasing now it was time to really focus on the music side of my career.

As I stand on that stage and hear the nominations I think, this time last year I was watching these nominations on television. Wow, how a year can change things. My friend, Chris Daughtry, yes I said my friend, who has been standing next to the entire time leaves me alone standing up there with these megastars and I feel out of place. I put my head down because the flashes of the camera were giving me a headache. In his deep raspy voice he announces the nominations. "For Best New Artist the nominations are... April Smith... claps ...Them Boys in the Stripes... claps ... Jenya ... claps... and Melissa Roberts. Congratulations to everyone nominated." My head raises really fast, my jaw drops, and my heart begins to beat so fast I can't catch my breath. Did he just say my name? I feel myself about to break down. The tears stream down my face. I was just nominated for a Grammy award.

            Chris came back over to his spot, "Congratulations Melissa! Best New Artist. Pretty damn amazing!!" Wow, this was real. This was really happening. And now, I have to be calm and collected to announce my category of nominations.

            I step up to that podium and stand there for a moment. The flashes of the camera are non-stop. "I'm sorry. I am trying to gather words back into my brain. I'm seriously shocked by that nomination... anyways enough about me. The nominations for Album of the Year are... Daughtry "Hometown"... claps... Rascal Flatts "Until Now"... claps... April Smith "Domination"... claps... and Justin Timberlake "Life Lessons". The smile is huge on my face as I look backstage and see him standing there. "Congratulations Everyone."

            If that isn't the right way to kick off the New Year, I don't know which way I should. The album releasing next week was the only thing I was focused on and now this has really made everything much more exciting. I was a Grammy nominated artist. 

****

The lights are bright and the flashes are non-stop. I should be getting used to this but I still get so nervous. The stomach still turns. The feeling of nausea doesn't seem to go away. As I stand on that red carpet with my name plastered on the billboard behind me I realize that this is was reality. I had really made it in the industry. Everyone was here to show support me. That was enough to bring me to my knees. The smile on my face was beaming so bright I think I could light up the city of Los Angeles.

There were celebrities all around me, some that I have looked up to, some that I have worked with, and some that only accept an invite because it allows them to be photographed. The friends that I have spent most of my life with were here to support me; well most of them were there. Stacy has still refused to even speak to me. I couldn't dwell over her choices. I had a life to live and unfortunately it was without her in it. I had hoped she would show up and support me but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. My mother and step-father arrived earlier today with my brothers. My sisters also arrived today all the way from Cleveland.

Justin must have saw the look that came across my face because he walks over to where I was standing on the red carpet and kisses me and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry she didn't show. I love you." I may have lost my best friend but I have the most wonderful man on the earth that loves me.

This night was all about the album. I was glad it was finally out for people to hear. I was relieved that I didn't have that pressure anymore. It was out there and there was nothing I could do to change anything now.

One hour turned into two hours then it was nearly three in the morning. Justin had wanted to leave earlier so I sent him home just over two hours ago. He was worn out. I wanted him to stay the entire night but I understood he was tired and I convinced him leave.

When Kia, Steve, and I finally called for the limo to pick us up I was beyond tired. I felt like I couldn't even walk to the car. We finally get in the car and I slumped down in the seat from exhaustion. Tonight was a great night, but it was tiring. I only wished that I could sleep in the car. But I knew that I would be home in ten minutes and it was pointless.

I heard a car that sounded very close to us slam on their breaks. The squeal was deafening. I heard a short scream of a woman's voice before a loud smash. The pain was intense and the bleeding was uncontrollable. I screamed for Kia and Steve but neither answered me. "Help" I reached for my phone but I the pain from my abdomen was so intense I couldn't move. Then there was total darkness again.

The paramedics arrived on scene and transported four patients from a car accident that reportedly was carrying Melissa Roberts, two of her friends and the limo driver from her album release party. We saw her rumored fiancé Justin Timberlake arriving at Cedars-Sinai Hospital just about twenty minutes ago, so we know he wasn't involved in the car accident. There are no further details at this time.

"Shut the TV off... shut it off now please." Justin snaps at a person that is sitting in the waiting room. Justin is scared that his world that was lying on that surgical table right now was not going to end well. He was in so much pain not knowing what is going on. It had been three hours since the surgery started and not a single word from one single doctor. They were telling him nothing and they make each second that passes harder to bear. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you." The woman sitting in the chair three seats down from him nods as she understood the pain he was in and it wasn't something against her.

            Justin dials his mothers phone number and in a tone that Lynn has every heard before she hears her son on the other end of the line saying, "Mom" is the worse scratchy emotion-filled ‘Mom' she hopes she will never hear again.

            She sits up straight in her bed. "Justin, honey what's wrong?"

"Mom... Mel..." The amount of energy it takes to speak is too hard for Justin to do right now.

"Justin, what's wrong. You're scaring me."

"I need you." Three words Justin doesn't normally say.

"Where are you?"

"Cedar-Sinai."

"Oh my god. I will be right there."

"Mom, I need you... and I need you to call her mother. I just can't do."

"What happened?"

"Car accident... She is in surgery. They won't tell me anything...." His voice trails off.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Are you alone?"

"Yes."

"I'm on my way. I love you, Justin Randall. I will be right there."

            Justin drops phone and sobs into hands. Never has he felt so helpless, so out of touch. He is fighting with himself. He shouldn't have left her at that party. He should have sucked it up and stayed there with her. His 5:00 wakeup call for some stupid magizine was not worth this. If he has ever screwed up in his life, this had to be his biggest mistake. Nothing was going to prevent this from happening. Justin was just beating himself up over it.

            Lynn see's her son sitting in almost a huddle position, sobbing and it breaks her heart. She knows there is nothing she can do to help him other than to be there for him. Everything was out of their hands now. She has never seen her son hurt so badly and she has been there threw all of the bad in Justin's life.

            She approaches him and sees the redness that has gathered around his eyes, the pain that rest in those eyes are hard bear. She wraps her arms around him and he loses it again. He sobs on the shoulder the one person who has always been there when he needed someone. His whole world was in pieces. "I'm so sorry Justin. I'm so sorry."

He looks up at his mother, "I need to find Steve and Kia."

"Where are they?"

"I think they are still in emergency room. They were in the car with Melissa. I just can't leave this room until I know she is ok. But I am worried about them. I need to know they are okay."

"I will go check on them. I will be right back."

He grabs a hold of her hand, "I love you, mom."

"I love you, I will be right back."

            Just as Lynn gets to the elevator, the doors open and Steve and Kia step out of the elevator.  Steve has what looks like a broken arm and Kia had cuts that needed stitches on her arms but they seemed to be ok.

Justin jumps up and rushes toward them. "How are you guys? Everything okay?"

"Were fine, just minor things. Where is Mel?" Kia asked as they finally approach each other.

That simple question felt like a knife through his chest yet again. "In surgery."

Kia sits in the chair next to Justin. "Have they updated you yet?"

"No, and I haven't moved from this spot since I got here."

"Have you called... Ellen?"Steve asks the one question no one wanted to bring it up.

"Yes, my mother called her... How do I explain any of this to her mother when she gets here? I don't even know what is going on..." Justin breaks down again. The tears seem to continue to flood down his face. Kia tries to comfort him and he can't deal with it. He gets up and walks over towards the windows, hoping to get some kind of clarity. "I shouldn't have left. I should have been with her in that car. I should have been there to protect her." He sees the one person he has been dreading to see in the reflection of the window. "Ellen... I'm so sorry..."

            As Melissa's mother walks towards him she could see the pain he was going through. She knew this wasn't his fault. He may be taking the blame for it but this wasn't his fault. She hugs him and hangs on for dear life. "Justin, this isn't your fault... Nothing you could have done would change this outcome. We just have to pray that she pulls through the surgery and..." She feels herself losing her balance. Steve helps her to a chair. "Oh my god, I can't believe this is happening."

            Ellen sits there with Justin just holding his hand. "I really don't have to worry anymore do I?"

Justin looks confused, "What do you mean? I don't have any news yet"

"You're good. Hearing that she is happy and that you love her is one thing. But seeing the love for her that you have is breathtaking. You are that man that deserves the love of my daughter's heart. You are the answers to all my prayers." If there was a dry eye in that waiting area, there surely wasn't now.

"I love your daughter more than life itself. She is the reason I get out of bed every day and live my life. I have never in my life loved someone the way I love her."

"You better marry my daughter."

For the first time in hours, Justin smiles. "I will. That's a promise I know I can make."

            Three surgeons walk through those double doors and sit down in the chairs next to Justin and Ellen.

"Melissa lost a lot of blood." They all stared at those doctors, just hoping for some good news. "She had a piece of metal that entered her abdomen which ruptured her spleen and a tear on her intestines. She also fractured her left arm however she should be just fine. A long recovery but she will be fine."

            At that moment you can hear everyone exhale and breathe for the first time. Justin is the first to speak, "When can I see her?"

"They are taking her to recovery now. You have to understand that she may not wake up immediately. It could be hours."

"That doesn't matter. I just need to be there and hold her hand."

"The nurse will come in get you ask soon as she is settled in her room."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

            Just as the doctors leave the room Meredith comes storming through the doors. She is pale white and looks lost and worried. She approaches Justin, "What's going on? I am so sorry, I just got the phone call." Her voice shaky and she is hysterically crying.

"She's ok. The surgeon just informed us that she is fine." He grabs a hold her and hugs her. "She is going to be fine."

The nurse finally comes out twenty three minutes later, yes Justin checks his watch every minute or so, she gave them the ok and showed them where her room was.

            Justin walked slowly but in front of the group alongside Ellen trying to prepare himself for what he is about to see when he walks through that door. Lying peacefully in that hospital bed he sees his beautiful girlfriend. She had bruises on her arms and an incision on the upper left side of her abdomen but other than that she was herself, his perfect girlfriend, his other half.

            He pulls the chair next to her bed and intertwines their fingers. Rubbing his fingers over her gentle curve of her hand he whispers in her ear, "I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

            He fell asleep in that very position, just holding her hand. He was awoken by the movement of her hand. He quickly jumps up. He smiles at her, "Hey babe."

"Ouch." I am trying to move. "What happened?"

He speaks in a whisper, trying not to wake her mother and his mother who refused to leave. "Don't move. It's going to hurt. You were in a car accident on the way home this morning. Your limo was struck by another vehicle."

"Where are Steve and Kia? Are they okay?" The panic streamed across her face.

"They are fine. I sent them home about an hour ago. They were exhausted."

"This really screws up my schedule." I throw my head back into the pillow.

"Shut up."

"Did you just tell me to shut up?"

"Yes I did. That schedule means nothing right now... you have to do something for yourself for a change." He continues to run his fingers over the curve of her hand.

"You look exhausted. You should go home and get some sleep." Even having surgery I don't want to be the one people have to worry about.

"I'm fine right here." He stands up and kisses her on her forehead. "I love you."

"How did I get so lucky?"

"I wouldn't call this lucky? You had to have major surgery."

"I'm talking about you. How did I get so lucky to find you? You are pretty amazing."

"I think that's debatable."

I laugh at him and it hurts, "Ouch. I guess I can't do that yet."

"I have no clue how I am going keep you from doing anything and get yourself better."

"That's going to be a challenge for you Mr. Timberlake."

            Justin climbs into that very small hospital bed and crawls up next to her. He needs to be next to her. He needs to feel her heartbeat against his chest.