Spending three whole days in that hospital was like spending a week at the beach in the hotel room and never seeing the ocean. Justin left me for maybe a couple hours each day. He insisted on spending the night and sharing that tiny bed with me. I wasn't complaining though. I hated hospitals and it was nice to have him lay next to me. I didn't sleep well in the hospital, even with him next to me. There were hours when I would just stare at him while he was sleeping and watch him breathe. Creepy as that might be, I could have died that night and I would have left this precious man here to fend for his self. The thought of leaving him behind sends a dagger right through my heart. I couldn't imagine the pain that he had to be going through. If I put myself in his shoes for just a moment I think I would have been certifiably insane. He was my rock.

            Waking up that last morning, I was trying to be quiet while watching TV but it wasn't working. The TV kept going up and down in the sound. He finally awakes and wiggles his way out of the bed and reaches for the coffee that Kia had just dropped off for us. She knew that we liked our Starbucks coffee. It had to be strong and hot. The hospitals coffee wasn't that great.

            Lonnie and Shawn have camped themselves out in front of the door in shifts the last three days. They are going to need a mini-vacation after this. I was surprised they were even allowing nurses into the room. The press had been camped outside for days. From my room you could see them scattered around the entire property and beyond of the hospital. Justin has only left the hospital when Lonnie and Shawn change shifts. He said the last time he left that he had never seen the press like this before, ever.

            Walking isn't as difficult now as it was the first day after surgery. I worry about moving certain ways which I would have never given a second thought about before. I was packing my things, getting ready to get out of this place. The doctor yesterday promised me that if my vitals were fine, I didn't have a fever, and the incision was healing okay then I could leave in the morning. I was counting down the minutes until I was discharged.

            Justin moves the car to a better location for me to get in without being completed hounded by the photographers. When he walks back into the room he says, "Look who I found." I turn to see that that it's someone I have mixed feelings for seeing standing in my hospital room.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry that I was being selfish. I'm sorry that I am a horrible friend."

            I don't know what to say to her. Should I be happy that my best friend had flown across the country to see me? Yes I should be but I was not happy with her. She has chosen to alienate me and not be the friend I needed her to be. "Stac... I just. I just don't know what to say to you."

"You don't have to say anything. I am the one that screwed up. I made the mistakes. I should have returned your phone calls. I was being selfish."

"Well I think that's the most honest thing I have ever heard you say. After everything that has happen in my life I thought you would be the one standing next to me through it all but at the end of the day you were selfish. You were supposed to be there for some of the biggest moments of my life and more than that you weren't there for your husband... the man you promised to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of your life..." She may be the last person I want to see right now.

"I'm sorry. I messed up." She lowers her head, but she isn't convincing me that this is really what she wants to be doing. It didn't feel heartfelt.

"You know how am I am with people and you messed up this time."

"I know that I have to earn my trust back. I know that I have step up and see my husband that I have also refused to talk to. When I saw the news on TV that you were in that accident it really changed my outlook on everything. I can't keep running from everything. I need to face them. And... and I should have been someone that Justin called. I'm supposed to be that friend."

"When we lost Megan that changed everything about me. Why do you think that with me living three thousand miles away I still try as hard as I can to keep in contact with everyone? We can't rely on loosing someone to realize what we already have in our lives. We need to appreciate what we have every day." For a moment I felt bad for throwing the Megan thing out, but it was the truth.

"Mel, you have always been like that. Even before Meg died, you have always been a selfless person. I on the other hand have been pretty selfish. I have to learn how to put others feelings first."

"I don't want to be rude, but I think the first person you need to apologize to should be your husband. I can live with whatever choices you make, but he shouldn't have to. He is your husband after all. They should be choices made together."

"You don't understand our marriage."

"Your right, I don't. And I have never been married, however I understand commitment and trust. Mike has always bent over backwards for you. He has always simply done what you wanted to do... and for the first time in his life... he did something for him." She looks kind of stunned. "Mike has been happier than I have ever seen him before. Seeing him on that stage every night rockin' it, is something I wish you could have seen. He really loves to be on that stage."

            The nurse walks into the room and interrupts us, I was glad about because I wanted to go home badly. I was over having this conversation with her and I was over her defending her actions when she is clearly in the wrong. I sign the papers and I am finally free to go.

***

            "Melissa, get your ass back in that bed." Justin has been a great little nurse for me but I was going stir crazy just sitting in this bed all the time or moving to the couch and sitting there. I wanted to get out of the house. I wanted to make Justin dinner. I didn't want to be this helpless person anymore. "The doctor said a couple more days and he will release you to light duty."

"Light duty?" I point at his penis, "Is that considered light duty? Because I really think that is what I need that right now."

Justin has to turn away and walk out of the room. "Don't tempt me girl... don't tempt me."

I yell very loudly so he can hear me. "I'm not tempting you... I am serious. I really think that's what I need to feel better. It's been two weeks..."

He enters the room, looking as if a light bulb has just turned on, "The doctor never said we couldn't." The smirk is so big on his face that it makes me laugh.

I pull him down onto the bed. "Then we must follow the doctor's orders."

"I have to be at the Paramount in an hour so, why not use the time wisely."

            This is the first day Justin has left my side in two weeks. I was better. Everything was getting back to normal. When he left he made sure that he said, "Stay in this house today." Little to Justin's knowledge, I had plans that involved me getting out of this house today. He was going to work and I was going to be the good girlfriend and have dinner waiting for him when he got home. I didn't need to stay in that bed anymore, unless he was going to join me again.

            I called Kia and I even took Shawn with me. Normally I would have left without security but I thought if I was going to go against what he said I would at least bring backup. When Kia arrived, the first thing she asked about Stacy and I explained to her that I didn't want to even discuss it anymore. She has been in L.A. for two solid weeks and still hasn't attempted to work things out. Saying that you want something to change and actually doing something about it is two different things.

            From the moment I drove out of the driveway and through those gates, I knew it was going to be an adventure. There were paparazzi waiting at that gate and just when I thought maybe they were not there to get a picture of me, they start following the car. I was going to Whole Foods, how was this entertaining?

            The vehicle is surrounded my cameras and flashes. I couldn't even open the door. I have to say, I was a little scared. Shawn rushes to the other side of the vehicle and pushes us through the fifty or so photographers that where there. It was a complete mob scene. Of course then when you walk into the store everyone has turned to see who is walking through the door. Now instead of having fifty cameras in our faces we have a couple hundred eyes balls starring back at you, watching your every move. They want to see you get your eggs and milk. It is the strangest thing.

            But then there are moments like when a little girl walks up to you, who has ran away from her mother and couldn't be more than eight years old... and she asks very politely, "Are you Melissa, the... the singer? Can I get a picture with you?" And she pulls out her blackberry, which every eight year old should have and has her mother, who is out of breathe from chasing you down the aisles, to take the picture. Moments like that are priceless. Who would have known an eight year old would even know who I was.

            When Justin calls during his lunch break he immediately asks where I am because of course at this very moment there would be talking over the intercom. Damn I was busted. There wasn't much he can do now, plus he knows how stubborn I am. The trip out of the store was worse than walking in. I guess they all call their paparazzi friends to join them.

            I line up all the ingredients to make dinner. I was craving some Italian fried chicken. I loved to cook and this would be something small I could do for him since he has done so much for me in the last couple weeks. I cut all the chicken into strips, started laying out all the ingredients, and prepared the grease at the perfect temperature. I had the radio on low, as I sang along to every song that I heard.

            "I love to come home from a long day at work and see a gorgeous woman standing in the kitchen cooking. It's even better when they are cooking for me!" I turn to see Justin standing in the doorway just leaning casually. "As much as I love the idea of you standing half naked in our kitchen, shouldn't you be somewhere relaxing?"

I rinse the breading off my hands, I walk over to him, wrap my arms around his neck and get as close to him as I can without touching his skin. "Justin. I am fine." I begin to kiss his neck and up his jaw line, just millimeters away from his mouth. I can feel that is what he wants but I wasn't letting him have it. Finally he pulls my face into his. He normally gets what he wants, this was no different. Then he whispers in my year, "Can I help you?" I feel my entire insides start to catch fire. "Of course you can!" I kiss him even deeper and more passionately this time. I wanted him to pull me up onto the counter and really help me out. But that isn't what Justin had in mind.

He turns to wash his hands, looks back at me as he is washing his hands. "What?"

"That is not what I thought you were going to help me with."

"You have a dirty, dirty mind. I was talking about food." When he smiles at me with the same dirty thoughts in his mind it really makes me want to throw him against the counter and take advantage of him.

"Fine, I guess I can show you how to cook."

"I don't need lessons."

"I love you Justin but yes, you do. At least when you are cooking my chicken." I bob my head back and forth.

"Oh is this ‘Melissa's famous chicken'?" He throws up his quoting fingers.

"Damn right it is." I attempted to show him what he needed to do, but he wasn't paying attention, typical for Justin. "Justin... not like that. You have to put it in the flour first, then the egg ... then the breadcrumbs..."

"Maybe I want it this way..."

"Maybe I would like it to be edible."

"Fine. Whatever you say Ms. Queen of the Kitchen."

"I like the way that sounds... remember that one."

He shakes his, "Why do I say things that are going to bite me in the ass later?"

"You're a male species... it's in your nature."

            Forty-five minutes later we are sitting at the dinner table. Justin seems to be really enjoying that chicken because I have heard him speak in the last ten minutes. Then finally you get a muffled sound of him attempting to speak "This is gooood."

"I told you it was going to be good."

"I might have to add Melissa's Famous Fried Chicken to the menu at Southern Hospitality."

"You can't have the secret ingredient. Sorry."

"Oh, I have ways of getting that out of you..."

"Sorry Mr. Timberlake that's my secret to keep!"

***

With everything that has happened in the last two months it was time for us to get away. Justin had won that Grammy award for album of the year... along with two others. I was in tears the entire time he was standing up there accepting that award, I guess it didn't help that just minutes before I was standing on that very stage accepting an award for best new artist. Something I never thought would happen. So this was perfect timing for us. It would be our first anniversary and we needed a break so here we are on a flight on our way to Cancun, a nice relaxing weekend with just the two of us.

In the very same room that we shared our first date, we were having our first anniversary dinner. When I walk into that room there are red roses scattered everywhere. Petals on the floor, vases full of those beautiful rich red roses. Much the same as the ones I received the day I realized I need to be with him and jumped on a plane. The best choice I had ever made in my life.

            Justin seemed fidgety when we first got there, but seemed to calm down once we unpacked our things. "Let's step out on the balcony, watch the waves crash into the sand." He knew that was one of my favorite things in the world.

We step out on to the balcony and the weather was perfect. It was just dark enough to see stars beginning to shine bright. We step against the rail of the balcony and I see thousands of candles light up in the sand that spelled out, ‘I love you, Melissa Roberts' I turn say I love you in return and Justin has dropped down to one knee.

Two paper thin bands lined with diamonds that lead to the center stone that is the most brilliant cut I have ever seen were staring back at me inside that blue box. The tears are rolling down my face. He begins to speak beautiful words and the infamous words that I never thought I would hear were being asked to me.

"So many times I thought I held it in my hands, but just like grains of sand, love slipped through my fingers.  So many nights I asked the Lord above please make me lucky enough to find a love that lingers..." He begins to cry but composes himself to finish when he is trying to say. "And you walked into my life and it was like a breath of fresh air. Something happens when you look at me I forget to speak, something happens when you kiss my mouth my knees get so weak, I can't believe...that something like you could happen to me.... And with you by my side I can do anything. I don't care what tomorrow brings as long as we're together. This has always been something stronger than the two of us alone. I want to spend every morning waking up next to you... Even when you say nothing at all, you seem to say everything I need to hear. I want to see you in that white dress, the train full of lace, hair swept back, and you taking my last name." I am sobbing at this point. "Melissa Roberts, Will you marry me?"