I think my life consists of me on a plane more than anything. I never flew anywhere before Vegas and now I fly from coast to coast all the time. I'm in New York today, at the Regis and Kelly show. I'm performing ‘Look at Me' and hopefully I won't cry. I have cried nearly every time I have sung that song since we got engaged. I have turned into this crying fool since Justin and I have gotten together. He is making me into this sap.

The interview came first and this actually always makes me more nervous than actually singing. You never knew what they were going to randomly come up with and ask. This show is live so anything can happen and I could make a fool out of myself very quickly. I take a huge deep breath as they announce me. Breathe. ‘Ladies and gentleman please welcome back to the show, Grammy Award winning artist, Melissa Roberts." My feet are cement I tell you cement stuck to the floor. Oh crap that's me. I walk out onto that soundstage and pretend to be calm and collected. I hug Kelly and Regis, and then I sit down. Breathe stupid, your fine.

Kelly has started with a joke. "Well it's been a while since we saw you. How has life been for you, anything remotely interesting happening in your life?"

I laughed at her, "Not really. It's been pretty boring."

"You are such a bad liar." She reaches out for my left hand; she nods her head as she agrees with what she is looking at. "He did good! That is gorgeous."

"Thanks. Yea, he did really good." The smile that creeps up on my face is ridiculous.

"If you all have been living under a rock you are not aware that Melissa and Justin Timberlake got engaged."

I laugh because it's the only thing that is going on in the world of the tabloids.

"So, how long did it take him to pick that out?" She asked.

"I honestly don't know." I shrug my shoulders. "I know it was a while, but he won't give me any details."

"None?"

"Nope, I think he is scared that I will hurt him for how much he paid for it."

"Well now, little secrets into the Timberlake household..."

            Wow, I think that's the first time someone has referred to our home life. Like I really am going to be this man's wife, I was going to be Mrs. Justin Timberlake. Wowza that's kind of crazy.

Regis switches the topic, "The success that you have had with my album has been outstanding. Did you ever imagine it would have done this well?"

"Of course I wanted it to be out there and everyone to buy it and be successful however I just never thought it would actually happen. People were actually buying the album and the first two singles have, well they have done very well."

"They have both went straight to #1. Right?"

I blush a little, "They both were #1, correct."

Kelly chimes in "You are so modest. You are about to release the 3rd single, which you are going to sing today. I have to say that it is my favorite song on the entire album. I literally cried the first time I heard it because I felt the love that you have for this man you were talking about. It still gives me chills."

I had a shocked looked on my face, "Wow, thanks. That may have been the best compliment I have ever received. When I wrote that song it was a song that was questionable for the album because it was so personal, I didn't think anyone else would relate to it. But when it was finished I said this has to be on there. And the response I have gotten from it has been remarkable."

Regis is laughing at Kelly because she starts singing the lyrics, he interrupts her and asked, "I read that you turned down and arena tour for the summer to do some outside venues. Is that the truth?"

"Kind of, I know what it felt like to attend outdoor concerts during the summer so I'm going to do what I think the fans will want more of in the summer. Then in the fall do arenas."

            I didn't get through that performance without choking up. I couldn't handle it. He wasn't even in the studio but I can still picture saying those words to him every time I sing that song.

            As great as NYC is, I wasn't staying. Today, oh today was going to be interesting, I was flying home, to Ohio because Justin's parents Lynn and Paul are throwing an engagement party for us in Ohio. Who would have known they would want to have it there. Lynn's decision came down to where we could have a little more privacy then L.A. I guess it would help me a lot anyways. I had to inform my mother not to plan anything on a certain week in August. But I was a little worried she couldn't keep the date quiet. Plus I was going to surprise her with a gift that she had no idea about.

I lean my head back on the seat as the plane landed. I immediately felt the knot in my stomach start to tighten. I really didn't want to be here.  Then driving down the very familiar road that leads to the Ohio border line was making my stomach turn even more.

Justin reaches for my hand, "Are you okay? You look like you are going to be sick."

"I feel like I am."

"Do you want me to pull over?"

"No I will be fine, but I would like you to take this exit."

I know I shouldn't have but I have read some of the things that people have said on my engagement page that the local paper puts up for people to comment on. There of course were people that I didn't know and would probably never would meet in my life that said some nice and some not so nice things, but then there were people that I knew that said some very hurtful things.

We pull up to a gated community; it was new because this wasn't here when I lived here. I knew they have begun working on an exclusive project in this area but I didn't know it was homes until I started look for one in this area.

 "This is I. pull up to that gate." A small smile creped on my face, the house was perfect.

"Are you sure?" He hates to pull into someone's driveway that he doesn't know. It's one of his pet peeves.

"Nope, but by the picture it sure looks like it."

My mother and stepfather have lived in the same house for the last decade. They moved into their current house before they got married and never thought they would leave. However now they can't seem to have any kind of privacy, reporters will show up and camp out near the property. This wasn't a career or a choice that they chose. They shouldn't have lost their privacy and have to deal with the consequences of a choice that I made. So I have bought them a new house, with privacy gates and land all around the property. It should keep out anyone that shouldn't be here.

"It's perfect." I say as Justin wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my forehead. "They are going to kill me, but they are going to love it."

We stand outside of this enormous house staring at it from the outside. Almost as if this was a house we just bought for us. I was going to bring my parents to this house for the engagement party and during dinner I was going to inform them that we are standing in their new house. I want to make sure there are witnesses all around in case they do try to kill me.

Lynn had arrived in town early this morning to inspect the final decorations for the party and to make sure everything was perfect. I thought this was going to be a small dinner party but the moment I walked through those front doors and saw the tables set up, I knew this was going to be much bigger than I ever thought. I really didn't think there were that many people here in town that still liked me enough to come to this.

Finally I see Lynn in the beautiful kitchen. "Lynn."

"Yes dear, in here."

I walk into the kitchen and she is making us lunch. "You didn't have to make us lunch. We can go get something."

"You will do no such thing." She walks over and hugs me "So how is my son and my daughter-in-law doing today?"

"Honestly?" The knot it still there, but it's getting easier to deal with.

"Of course, honestly."

"I don't want to be here."

"Whatever you think is going to go wrong, don't think about it. If these people have something nasty to say, than it's their own issue, it has nothing to do with you."

"I know." I fade off as I see the backyard through the window. This entire location of the house with the surroundings was absolutely breathtaking.

Lynn is finishing up lunch, "What do you think of this house? Beautiful right? It's the perfect location for the party."

"Actually this house... is my gift to my mother. She just doesn't know it yet."

"You are unbelievable. Is this your first time seeing the house?"

"Yes, I had been working through a realtor for a while now to get this house perfect and ready. She had sent me hundreds of photos but it's different to see it in person. She did an amazing job with it."

"Your mother is going to love it."

"I hope so." I really hope so. "Thank you Lynn."

"For what Hun?"

"Everything you do for us. Thank you for just being you."

She rushes back across the room to hug me, "Thank you for loving my son the way you do. Thank you for being who you are."

I was lucky to not have an evil mother-in-law. She was an amazing person.

We walk outside to find Justin and Paul eyeing the golf course that is just a couple hundred yards away. I know that look in his eye. He was just thinking of an excuse to get over there. I look at them both and say, "Go." A moment later, my feet our off the ground and I am in the air spinning around... then I have those wonderful lips on mine. "But not a whole round. We do have this dinner party tonight." He promises he will be back before any of the quests get here. It would really suck if all these people that now hate me and think that I am this ‘celebrity' now, show up and my soon to be husband is MIA.

We ate lunch then I was off to meet Kia and Stacy. Yes, I said Stacy. She still doesn't have my trust or respect for that matter but I couldn't have an engagement party without her there. She was trying, in Stacy pace but she was trying.  We had many conversations over the years about me getting married. I honestly didn't think it would happen. Mostly because I only dating douche bags, but other than that I was pretty stubborn and I guess maybe I chose the ones that I knew wouldn't work out and I would have an excuse to not let them in fully. I still to this day can't explain why I let Justin in, and how it happened so fast. Maybe it was simply just meant to be. She used to say that she would throw me the biggest bridal shower and an even bigger baby shower. I can't see myself getting married without her there, standing next to me. I want to trust her and I want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids I just don't think I am ready for that. Only time will tell.

I no sooner than get my rental car into park and Kia is running towards the car. "Can you believe we are back in Ohio? How crazy is that?"

"Oh, trust me I don't want to be here."

"Did you see the house yet?"

I get that cheesy smile on my face, "Yes! It's perfect."

"Is Lynn there?"

Stacy chimes in, "Who's Lynn?"

I couldn't believe that she didn't know who she was. "Justin's mom..."

"Oh, yea I keep forgetting her name."

Kia states, "I'm not surprised she is here already. I bet she is perfecting everything isn't she?

"She flew in very early this morning and has been directing everyone. Perfecting everything, making Rachel run around that house like crazy. Justin gets his OCD from someone..." We all laugh. "Well let's go. I have a ton of dresses for everyone to try on and find what they want to wear tonight. Also Marc should be getting in town any minute now."

"Marc is coming here?"

"Yes, someone has to do our hair."

Stacy is making it very clear that she doesn't know a lot about my life now, "Who is Marc?"

"He is Mel's hairdresser." Kia says it with this you should know tone.

"Sorry, I didn't know."

I present to be a little sympathetic, "It's ok. He is also my friend. He has done my hair for every event, every show, every concert, he is amazing. He was invited to the party but said he doesn't want me to even attempt my own hair and he get the blame for it looking bad."

"Is he single?" Stacy's asks that question as Kia and I both look at each other, confused.

We both at the same time ask, "Why does that matter?"

"Well... I'm going to be single again."

"WHAT?" I am shocked.

"I can't have a long distance relationship.  I'm just not that strong of a person. Talking to him every day and seeing him maybe once a month isn't my idea of a marriage."

"Are you sure this is what you want? I mean you're not even going to try?"

"I know you don't understand but this is something I am doing. I have thought about it for a while and this is the decision. I didn't come to lightly."

"Well, you have to do what makes you happy. I hope this is the right choice for you... Does Mike know yet?"

"Yes, he knows. I don't want to talk about this anymore. This is supposed to be a happy day for you. Everything is fine, I promise."

I guess a part of me knew that would be the decision she would make. She has always been someone that needs a guy to get threw her days. I have known her for nearly a decade and she has only been single, maybe three months the entire time.

As we walk through those doors, I hear them both say, ‘This is a gorgeous location for a party.' Kia knew, but no one else really had an idea that this was my mother's new house. I was so excited. The master bedroom had been converted into a changing station with chairs lined up for hair and makeup. I had brought roughly twenty dresses for everyone to choose from. We were all about the same size so there was a lot to choose from.

Kia is the first to try on dresses. She tried on almost everyone one before she made a decision. It was a gorgeous salmon colored, short, one shoulder dress. Stacy tried on a couple but opted for a dark chocolate brown tank style dress. I decided on a strapless cobalt blue cocktail length dress. I fell in love with the color the moment I put it on.

I look up at the clock five or six times and Kia finally asks, "Why are you watching the clock?"

"Justin."

"Where is he?"

"Golfing with Paul, he said he would be back in time. It's now about forty-five minutes before the party. He was not going to be ready in time."

"He will be here, its fine."

"Could you imagine if he doesn't show? I would be at my engagement party without my fiancé, that's my luck."

Forty-four minutes...

            Forty-two minutes...