"‘What I'd Give' is a ballad as well? Why does it matter?"

"But it's not like this power ballad, where I have to really project my voice. It will give me moment to breathe from that song to the ballad."

"That's true... I can't believe that the tour starts next week." Bob says as he is shaking his head in disbelief as if he can't believe it's actually happening.

"I can't believe that we are still making changes. I'm gluten for punishment."

"No, just a perfectionist."

"How does being on tour and performing on stage nearly every night feel?" I ask.

"I have never felt anything like it. I'm thankful everyday that you gave me this opportunity and that this is something I get to share with you."

"I'm glad that someone like you would want to do something like this for me."

"How does it feel to be a headliner?" he asks.

"I don't know how to answer that other to say, it's a lot of pressure. If people don't buy tickets then I am screwed."

"Well you already know they have bought ticket. There are a lot of shows that are already sold out."

"So, not true."

"Mel, cut the modesty, you are killing it in this industry. Seriously take the credit."

I turn a shade of pink, "Ok... ok enough about me." I move around on the stage trying to get the best feel for this song.

"So, where is this husband of yours? He said he wanted to work on some things today, but I haven't seen him all day."

I turn and laugh, "He is... he is being Justin today."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He gives me the sideways smile with the raise eyebrow.

"When we got back in L.A. last week we shot the video for ‘My Last Name' and he has a touch of OCD, if you haven't noticed so he is has been in the editing room all day watching all the footage and trying to perfect it to his level of perfection."

"I feel bad for that editor."

"I know me to... He should be here soon. He called about an hour ago and said he was almost done... So I would think another hour."

I hear a voice behind me say, "I'm here."

"How does the video look."

"It's perfect now."

"I knew you could handle it." I throw that cheesy smile out there. "Now please make my tour perfect."

‘That's easy. Take off your pants."

"WHAT?"

"I just wanted to see if you would do it."

"Ugh. Put your serious face on now Justin. If this tour fails, it will not only be my failure... it will be yours as well."

"I know, I know."

"See what happens when you offer to be part of my life, I make you do more work!"

"It's all good. I can handle this job. Music Director of a tour is right up my alley. Now the whole performing one song a night is something we need to work on."

"Do you want to do more than one?"

"No, I don't want to do any."

I was shocked. "Why?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to make this tour about you."

"But you are a part of me and I want that song in our set list."

"And that's the only reason I agreed to it. We do have problem though." He turns and mumbles very quickly. " Mandy got my schedule for the next couple months and it interferes with the tour a little bit."

"What do you mean a little bit?"

"There are two dates that I am scheduled to be in the studio in L.A."

"She knew the tour dates, she should have adjusted them"

"I know. She is working on it with Johnny to fix it."

"Ahhh... I can't think about this...." I couldn't think that two shows were going to be ruined. "Guys let's just go from the top of the set list, just as if it was the actual show."

****

Today was a very important day for me. Today is the day that puts one of the biggest pieces together for the fairytale wedding. The dress. Monique Lhuillier. She has brought nearly thirty gowns for me to try on and see what style I might end up wanting. Then she is going to create a one of a kind gown for me.

"So, what are you looking for in a dress?" Monique sits with her sketchbook in hand.

"Well, I want the fairytale wedding. I don't want a gown that is nothing but poof however I want it to be a gown. I don't think I want strapless, I think it is overdone sometimes. It has to be white. No cream, ivory or any other color. It has to be all white... I love details on a wedding gown, so I would love a lot of detail."

"Is there anything that it must have?"

"Actually, I'm not sure if you have heard Justin's song, ‘My Last Name' but we wrote that song somewhat together and I tried so many times for him to change the line, ‘Train full of lace', but he wouldn't change it for anything. He was referring to seeing me walk down the aisle in a dress like this. So I think that was maybe is subtle hint that he really wants that. So the dress has to have lace. Not necessarily covered completely but it must be on there somewhere."

"I think I can do that. What would you think of a one shoulder strap that goes over the right shoulder and down the back behind the left shoulder blade?"

"Hmm. I like that idea. Do you have a sample here?"

"I don't think so, but I can show you pretty quickly what it would look like. But let's try some of these dresses on and see what style looks best on your body."

I walk into that dressing room and a wave of emotion comes over me. I was standing in a wedding dress. I was really doing this. I was really actually getting married. I walk out of the room and she immediately says, "No." I took that as a hint that it looked really bad. The next ten dresses she did the same thing. I personally thought they all looked beautiful but she says, "Being a beautiful dress is one thing, being the dress is another.' So I was back into the room to try on another.

Kia is with me of course, she has loved each dress but she also was like, ‘eh' to most of them. I had been eyeing this particular dress that I'm putting on since I saw all of them hanging on the rack. It was a one shoulder style dress, drop waist, very cathedral type of dress. I put it on and I yelled to Kia... "This is it."

"What?"

"This is exactly what I'm wanting."

"I don't trust you, get out here and let me see."

I walk out of that room and her face goes from smiling to crying then saying, "That is it."

Every other time I have walked out of this room and into the bigger room Monique has simply looked up and said no, this time however she looks up and back down at her sketchbook, then back up at me. "That's it. The drop waist looks amazing on you."

I stand looking at that floor length mirror for nearly and ten minutes. This was the exactly style I was looking for. This was it. She comes over to me and hands me the sketch she was working on. The entire time I had been trying on dresses she had come up with my perfect dress. She has imagined me in a drop waist gown from the beginning. A bodice that is covered in crystals and lace, a skirt that is so romantic and the train matched the entire gown. I begin to sob. "That's it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. That's nearly exact to the picture I have had in my head."

"Well, then I guess I have a lot of work to do. Are we doing the bridesmaid dresses as well?"

"Actually yes. Along with the mother of the bride and mother of the groom's dresses as well."

"What color are we looking at?"

"We are trying to stay with a lavender color purple and a soft blue. Those two should work very well together with white and black."

"I like the colors. Are we thinking of doing the dresses alternative colors?"

"No, everyone is the same color. All the same style of dress, but different tops is fine. I am open with that as long as they are all the same color and work well together."

"Well I want to work on some sketches for the bridesmaid dresses, but I will need all of them to meet with me for the measurements and everything as soon as possible. Is there anything else we need to go over?"

"Just one thing. I know you are amazing, however this is a wedding that is sought after for pictures and information so if you could only use people that you fully trust with all of this I would really appreciate it."

"I understand completely. Everything will be under wraps, I promise."

I guess the hard part wasn't over. I now had to determine who was going to be those bridesmaids...

***

"Meredith could you please make sure that the purple tote is on the bus. It has all my personal stuff on it."

I was determined to get everything finished and packed today. We were leaving for the tour in three days. I would rather relax for the next couple days than have to worry about getting everything ready at the last minute.

When Meredith returned she had a worried look on her face.

I look at her and drop my head. "What's wrong?"

"You need to go find Justin."

"Why? Where is he?"

She says nothing to me just turns and walks out of the room. What was going on?

I walk in a very fast pace down the hallway, looking in almost every room, and then going down the stairs. I didn't see him anywhere. I yell, "Justin, where are you?" I hear him faintly say, "In the kitchen."

When I walked in the kitchen I saw his entire demeanor had changed from earlier. He was quiet. I hated quiet Justin. "Mel."

"Justin, don't speak to me in that tone. I can't handle that tone. Tell me what's going on."

"Your mother just called. John just had a heart attack."

Wow, that was a shot right to the heart. "Is he... okay?"

"They are not sure right now. They don't know how much damage there is to his heart." The tears in his eyes are killing me right now. I couldn't say anything to him. "I just booked us on a flight, we leave in an hour." I still couldn't say anything. He holds on to me with those comfortable arms as I start to sob.

The one male figure I have ever had in my life has been John. He was there for things that any father would be grateful to see. He had really treated me as his daughter. It took nearly seventeen years for my mother to find him but for the first time I had a guy that was worthy of being called a father figure to me.

I don't think I said more than two words the entire trip to the airport. I couldn't think of anything except the negativity of what I might see when get when I get to that hospital. Justin is very supportive and just held my hand or let me lay on his shoulder. I knew deep down that there was something else wrong, something that someone wasn't telling me. It felt like the world as I had known it was going to be different from this moment on.

We take the private entrance into the airport and get walk into the first class area. There weren't too many people in there, maybe four others. We sit in the take a seat in the middle of the sections and I collapse into my chair. Justin sits next to me, rubbing my hands saying everything is going to be fine, not to worry. But honestly in this situation you have to worry until you have nothing else to worry about.

I look up at him and say, "I can't believe this is happening. He has to be here with my mom... He has to be here for my wedding... that is so selfish of me."

"Everything is going to be fine... I promise everything will be fine." He knew this wasn't something he could promise me, but he knew it would make me feel better.

We arrive in Pittsburgh to not only rain, but paparazzi. They have caught wind that John had been rushed to the hospital. I'm used to the random things that they shout out but one comment made me livid. "Are you calling off the wedding if your father dies?"

My eyes were huge, my face was bright red. I turned around and looked at that paparazzi and shoved his camera out of my face, smashing it to the ground. "Who the fuck do you think you are? Seriously, do you think that is an appropriate thing to say to someone, anyone?"

He snaps back, "You broke my fucking camera, you whore."

Justin is now on the other side of me and literally jumps into that guys face and hits him once before I pull his back. "Justin he isn't worth it. He is a piece of shit." I'm nearly dragging him when I turn to that guy and say, "However have a little respect for others. Job or not, I don't know how you sleep at night."

The actions that we took were not the best on either part. Emotions were flying high and he said some things that he shouldn't have. We hurry into the hospital and make our way up to the third floor. I was shaking I was so pissed. The shaking continues when I step off that elevator and I see my mom in a daze, she was lost.

"Mom." She snaps out of her daze.

"Mel... Justin. Thank you for coming, I needed you." I start to cry as I wrap my arms around her. My mother has never needed anyone. I don't think I have ever heard those worse come out of her mouth. "The doctors say that he is out of surgery and they will be up to see me shortly to know what's going on."

            Without saying anything, we sat in silence awaiting those blue scrubs to walk through those doors. The moment they did, the pit in my stomach had gotten even deeper. With Justin standing at my side I listen to what they have to say.

"There was extensive blockage to his heart. We did everything we could..."