"There was extensive blockage to his heart. We did everything we could..."

That's what they say to the families when they lost the patient. I lose my balance and hit the floor. "Mel..." Justin screams. He falls to the floor to stop my head from hitting the floor. I had blacked out. "Mel..." he screams again. I open my eyes and find all the doctors surrounding.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." I reach for my mother who really needs the comforting right now.

The doctor continues, "We did everything we can do for now. When he regains consciousness we will know more. This is going to be a long fight for him."

            He was okay. He didn't die on that table. The damn doctor could have chosen his words a little better. A small wind of breathe finally escapes my lungs.

            Hour by hour we sit in the waiting area. Just hoping the nurse will finally tell us he is awake. Kia has called a couple times to check on us. They didn't even know we left, until we were gone. I saw that Justin's mother had called a couple times but I couldn't manage to talk to anyone. It took to my energy. Finally when she calls for the third time I hand the phone to Justin and say, "Please talk to her. I don't want to ignore her but I just can't talk right now."

He takes the phone and steps to the side of the room. I hear his one sided conversation. "We are in Pittsburgh... Her father had a heart attack... We are not sure right now... We are waiting for him to wake up... She is doing ok... Ellen too... I will call you when I know something... I will tell them... Love you."

"I so didn't want your mother to know what was going on." As I reach for his hand. I need some comforting.

"Why?"

"She worries too much about everyone. It's just one more thing for her to stress over."

"That's my mother. That's for sure."

            It had to be close to midnight when I hear my brother say, "Hey Mel, you're on TV."

I look up and he was right, TMZ had some exclusive footage that they were going to show. "Fuck." I knew what it was. He turns up the volume.

"America's newest sweetheart isn't so sweet. She has a potty mouth and a temper that she must have learned from her fiancé. In this video clip you can see their reaction to our cameras being near them in Pittsburgh. They are perfect for each other. I hope they don't treat their wedding guests like this. Reps were contacted for both parties but neither would comment."

"Melissa Sue Roberts... you did that today?"I didn't like my mother's stern voice. She even broke out my whole name.

"Mother, you don't know what they said."

"That's no reason for that behavior."

"If you knew what they were saying, you would have done the same thing."

"Maybe, but now they have that one on tape. You know your position complicates things."

"If I wasn't in my position now, they wouldn't even be following me."

"You chose this. You knew that going into this industry there was the chance that you would have to deal with this stuff."

"I understand and I accept the bad with the good but his comments were out of line. I don't want to argue over this. I will deal with it." And I did, just moments later when the agency called.

***

It had been thirty six hours since his heart attack. We have spent most of that time in the waiting room however the backlash of my little incident has made the press well aware of where we are and you can't stop them from entering a hospital so I had made my way into John's room for some peace and quiet. I was reading emails and doing to leg work for the tour from Pittsburgh. I was going to have my first head lining show in less than twenty four hours. We were supposed to be on the road today headed to St. Paul, MN but I wanted to be here when he woke up. I needed to see with my very own eyes that he was ok.

I hear a movement near his bed and I jerk my head very quickly and rush over to the bedside. "John! Oh my god John you're awake."

He looks at me and I get the worse look I have ever gotten from someone. "Please tell me that you are not standing in front of me."

"What?" I was very confused.

"Melissa you are supposed to be in Minnesota getting ready for your very first show. You shouldn't be here..."

I laugh at him, "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"You better get your ass on a plane and get there. I will be fine."

It's just like him to not want people to fuss over him. "I'm good right here. I will fly out in the morning."

"You better. How else are you going to pay for that nice big house of mine?"

"This is true. I have to make some money" I smiled really big. He was joking with me; he had to be ok now. "I will be right back. I need to let my mom know you're awake."

"Yea you should do that because I'm sure she is a stressed out freak by now. How long have I been asleep?"

"Hmm close to thirty six hours maybe..."

I was about to deliver better news to my mother than the news that I had actually found a guy to marry me. I had the straightest face on because I didn't want anyone in that waiting room that didn't need to know have any information.

"Guys, come please." They all gave me a confused look but followed me. Once we were out of the view of the paparazzi I said, "He is awake." My mother begins to cry and runs down the hallway. I look at Justin, he takes me into his arms and I whisper ‘I love you.'

4:00 am flights are never my choice if I can avoid it. But I was happy to get out of the hospital, or I guess- John forced me to leave. He was doing well enough for me to think I could even do the show tonight.

Oh my god... I was headlining my own show tonight....

"I'm sorry I called such an early morning rehearsal but I'm stressing a little about this first show. I have an extremely busy day ahead of me, so let's get started from the top."

I hear Justin talking in my inner ear. "Just Breathe. You know what you are doing. Don't over think it. Be yourself." That's easy for him to say.

I know that I could do this. I had done it a thousand times already. It was the pressure of failing or succeeding that was making me so nervous. After the first couple songs I begin to relax. I knew what I was doing. I was excited to add in a couple cover songs and a bonus song that was not on the album, it would be a complete surprise to my fans. My fans. I never thought I would be able to say that with truth behind it. Only the people in this room have heard this track. They all seemed to like it.

"What I'd give... To bring your flowers... What I'd give... To get you alone... What I'd give... To bring a smile upon your face... What I'd give... To take you home..."

                I love the idea of standing in the center of the stage with just an acoustic guitar, a microphone on a stand, and just a simple spot light.

 "What I'd give... To make you coffee... Find out how you like your eggs... Wrapped around you in the morning... Tangled lace of arms and legs..."

                Bring in the electric guitar for the end.... Oh I just love that idea.

"What I'd give... To let you love me... Find everything that brings your joy... Wake up to your face above me... I'd be that girl and you could be that boy... Found out what that feeling is... Oh, what I'd give... What I'd give..."

***

"Are you ready to do this?" The reporter asks me. It was going to be a long afternoon of interviews and promotion for the tour. But it was worth it to get more people out to see the show.

"The show or this interview?" I laugh.

"Both I guess."

"I'm always more nervous about interviews than being on stage. However this is a pretty big show for me tonight. It's a lot of pressure."

"I just saw you rehearsing. I think you're going to do fine."

"Well thanks."

"Let's talk about this brand new song that I just heard in rehearsal? Where is that song from?"

"It's actually a song that will be available to purchase as a single but it was not on the album. It may end up being a bonus track if we re-release the album."

"It was a great song, why didn't it make the cut?"

"I actually wrote and recorded the song after I finished the album. So it never had the option to be on the album"

"Was this from personal experience?"

"Yes and no. I was literally standing in the cash out line at whole foods, standing behind two women that were looking at the tabloids on the shelf and I heard them say, ‘What I'd give to take that man home. I'd bring him coffee or flowers, whatever he wanted. I'd do whatever that brought him joy.' So it sparked up being on the other side of things. What if I wanted this person badly and they didn't even know me."

She laughs, "Someone seriously said that in a grocery store?"

"Yes, they didn't know I was standing behind them. Well... not until they turned around."

"So they saw you, were they embarrassed?"

"I think so, but it was just a random fun comment that they threw out there and well it inspired me, so thank you to them!"

"Well, I am sure you don't want to talk about the incident from Pittsburgh but I have to ask about it. What happened?"

"Everyone has only seen the side of that video where I was angry at him. What you didn't see was comments he made about my step father who was in surgery at the time. I'm not going to get into the comments because this gentleman doesn't deserve anymore of his fifteen minutes than he is already getting."

"How is John?" She seemed to asking from a personal side and not the reporter side of her.

"John is doing well. Everything turned out great!"

"How is the wedding plans coming?"

"They're coming that's for sure."

"So, you have set a date?"

"Yes. We have. It will be a while from now but everything seems to be working out perfectly." Only if she knew that in just a few short months we will be getting married. Sneaky sneaky.

"I still can't believe Justin Timberlake is getting married. I always thought it would be the next George Clooney. I never thought I would see the day come where he is so smitten in love and getting married."

"Neither did I!" I joked with her.

"What do you think changed him to want to get married?"

"I think that is a question for him. But for me, I think when you meet the right person, you just know. I had said many times that I would never get married, but that was because I couldn't find a guy that was worthy of my heart and trust. I found everything I was looking for in someone in him."

‘You never know." She makes a funny tying the album name to our reality.

"Exactly."

"I was watching you from the mixing booth in rehearsals and I was listening to him talk about you and it was apparent to anyone that sees the two of you together that your really are extremely happy. None of the drama that has played out in the press over the last year seems to affect your relationship."

"We are happy. Even with all that drama. We have had some rough moments but we love each other and nothing anyone else has or will do can change that."

"What is the most obscured thing you have heard about yourself that was untrue?"

"Wow..." I sit and think for a minute. "I heard that I told Justin if he didn't propose then I was going to leave him. That was completely untrue. Being married has nothing to do with being happy. I heard that Justin's mother, Lynn was demanding that we have children immediately after the wedding. That is untrue. There are so many stories out there but at the end of the day we are just a couple that is happily in love and enjoying the ride of life."

"Well said."

            The hours before the show seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was in my dressing room stretching and warming my vocals up. I peek out at the crowd and there were people everywhere. This show was one of the ones sold out. I couldn't believe that I, Melissa Roberts had a sold out a concert.

            This was it, the lights are dark, and the crowd is roaring. The band starts to play.

"St. Paul!!!!  How are we felling tonight!"