I arrived at work early, surprising but true.  I figured I would get settled in and try to get things accomplished that day. How wrong I was. The day starts off minor however pissing me off, commenting on my $1200 shoes. ‘Why would anyone pay that much money for those? It's not like she bought them anyways she has a super rich boyfriend now. It's just what she has always wanted, someone to buy her things.' This hurt. I have never been the person that dated someone for their money. If that were true, I wouldn't have dated the two fouls I did. I ended up in my manager's office that day. I told her I wasn't sure how much longer I would be with the company. I have another offer, which requires me to move. She asked how I was handling all the attention and being the constant "talked" about person. I explained to her that it really didn't matter what anyone said but sometimes it hurts. These people whom I have worked with for nearly six years think they don't really know me.

Lately I sat at lunch alone. I needed that alone time, plus I didn't want to answer any personal questions, so I avoided it. They seemed to think they could say what they wanted and asked what they wanted. I was never a person that divulged details of my relationships, what would make them think this was any different. Maybe because Justin is in the public eyes, I didn't know but I wasn't going to explain to these people my life and relationship with him. They thought they knew the new me anyways so I shouldn't have to tell them anything. They should already know.

Today was different however. Aaron came and sat with me. He is someone that I have always been close to. For a long time, I thought that maybe we would be more than friends. He was my type, I really did care about him but things would have never worked with us. We were better friends than we would have ever been in a relationship. I was glad I had him right now. He was quiet for the first couple minutes. Then he asked, "How are you doing? I have never seen you feel so out of place before. You are so happy yet so unhappy at the same time."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, "This is a time in my life when I am extremely happy and I don't understand how people would want me to be unhappy. This is their insecurities, not mine. Whatever makes them sleep at night I guess?"

"Why do you think they are acting like this? I came back from China and all I heard yesterday was about this situation."

"It's not a situation, it's my life, and it's my feelings that are getting hurt. I have been the talk around this place before however this time it's worse than before."

"I'm here if you ever want to talk. I know I am not in the office a lot anymore but you have my number, you can call me anytime."

"Thanks, it means a lot."

It was the longest day ever. The clock never seemed to get close to that damn five. At exactly 5:00 I was walking out of the building thinking that I may never walk back in this building again. I am no sooner than get in my car and Aaron calls.

"Are you ok? You look really upset?"

"I can take a lot of crap but this really is too much to handle. Did you know that someone left a post it on my monitor that said, ‘Gold Digger'? Seriously do these people not know me at all?"

"You're serious? That's just crazy. Anyone that even remotely knows you knows that not who you are."

"Oh, and did I tell you about the book of pictures that someone put in my mail box?"

"No, what pictures?"

"There was like a hundred pictures from Cancun and New York that look as if they are paparazzi photos, and there are comments wrote on them. ‘This is never work' ‘You're a nobody to him in reality' ‘Must feel great to be you, Miss Wonderful on top of the world'. They are seriously just stupid comments but I'm only human. I have feelings."

"I'm sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this."

"I didn't think I did. But I guess you can't make everyone happy."

"What are you doing later?"

"Nothing, hiding at my house."

"Want to do dinner, I'm starving and I think you could use some company tonight."

"Sounds great, it would be great to not be at home alone all evening."

"Great, how does 7:00 sound?"

"Perfect."

Aaron picks me up and we go to Quaker State & Lube. It's a beautiful afternoon so we opted for the patio seating. I didn't need to be in room full of strangers talking about me. We sit and the hostess says our waitress will be here to get our drink order in a minute.

The waitress comes over, "What can I get you both to drink?"

"I will take a Whiskey Sour on the rocks." I know I shouldn't have whiskey but it's what I want.

He tells the waitress that he will take the same. "Are we drinking hard core today?"

"Actually it's been a rough couple weeks. I need all I can get." I turn and tell the waitress, "Keep them coming until I tell you to stop."

"Does Justin know what's been going on?"

"I tell him some of it. He thinks it's the whole small town jealousy thing. He wants me to move to L.A."

"Do you want to move?"

"Yes, I have always wanted to move to L.A. I want a career in music and fashion. I do worry though. I never wanted to move for a relationship. What if our relationship doesn't last? It's a lot to chance. It's not like I'm moving to Pittsburgh and can simply drive home and live with my mom. It's not like that."

She returns with our drinks, she says "I'm sorry do I know you? You look so familiar."

I look at her and say, "No, I don't think so."

Aaron chimes in, "You probably know her boyfriend."

I get the angry look on my face, my eyes get huge. I hissed, talking through my teeth "Shut up." She looks again. "You're Melissa Roberts, Justin Timberlake's girlfriend. I heard you lived locally but I didn't believe it. Wow, that's so cool." She gets little red, and then realizes why she is standing at our table. "Sorry, are you ready to order?"

"I'll take an order of Parmesan Boneless Wings and an order of fries"

Aaron laughs, "I'll take a dozen hot wings, and fries"

"What's so funny about what I ordered, it's basically the same thing you ordered?"

"You are at a wing place and you order boneless wings.... It's just funny."

"I'm sorry that's the funny to you."

            We had finished dinner, and were having a few more drinks and having a good time. I haven't had a normal day in a while. Everyone is usually pointing fingers or crowding around. It's has been never ending. I wasn't sure that I wanted to step into the career that is all about tarring people down. But then again, it was Hollywood, not a small town in Ohio. I would be giving up a lot to have the career I wanted.

            On the way home from dinner, Justin called. He had tour rehearsals again today, along with photo shoots for promotion. It's been a busy week for him as well. I tell him I had dinner with Aaron, about the rough day. Not a single worry in his voice, he trusts me.

"What did you have good to eat, I'm starving."

"I had boneless parmesan wings at Quaker State & Lube, which Aaron made fun of me about."

"Sounds yummy, I would have made fun of you as well."

"I had a bunch of Whiskey as well.... It was a rough day."

He got quiet, "I wish I was there for you on days like this." He is beating himself up about it

"You being on the other end of this phone conversation is being there for me. Don't worry about it, tomorrow will be better."

***

            The next day at work was no better than the day before and the days that followed were even worse. When Friday finally came I was overjoyed. I had planned to spend the weekend with Kia and Stacy shopping. I was going to play the song for them on the way up. I had to wait until I got the release from the label to get a copy of it.

            Overly excited I blurt out, "Here it is... the song I have been hiding for nearly a week." I want you guys to hear it. They were silent, listening to every single word. I saw the tears rolling down Kia face. She wipes them thinking I didn't see them. "Well, what do you think?" I asked

"It's beautiful." Stacy says.

Kia, the speech maker of the group "Mel, I am so proud of you. First of all your voice sounds amazing on this song, it's flawless. The lyrics are.... they have so much passion behind them. It's an amazing song."

            They liked it. I was proud of the song, I was happy they liked it. Shopping is something we have always done together. If you can't take criticism, don't go shopping with us. If something isn't cute, we will simply tell you. I am more likely to take a risk with something then Kia or even Stacy. I seem to tell Kia all the time to step out of her box. She is classy and sophisticated but she never puts an edge to it at all. Stacy on the other hand she pushes the envelope too much sometimes. Not from trying different styles but revealing way too much. I am in the middle of the two but I tend to try different styles all the time.

Our shopping adventure was foreshadowed by some events that I didn't have control over. Every outlet in the world had pictures of me having lunch with Aaron at work, dinner with Aaron, and him dropping me off at home.

I received a phone call from Justin. He seemed different, like something was bothering him. He is trying to ask something, but can't form the words. He finally has enough courage.

"Aaron, he is a just a friend, right?"

"Yes, Aaron and I have been friends a long time."

"There's nothing going on, right?"

 "He is just a friend, nothing more. We talked about this."

"I know, but I saw the pictures. It looked a little more than just a friendship."

"You're kidding me right? I can't believe you are even asking me about this. I can't believe you would think that I would..."

"I just don't know anymore. Every person I trust ends up hurting me. I need to make sure. I didn't think you would ..."

I interrupt him, "I told you countless times before I will never cheat on you. I will never dishonor your trust. I can't believe you are actually asking me this question right now." It was quiet for a moment, the tears start to fall...I hang up the phone. I sit on a bench outside of the store I was just in, crying. I knew he would find a way to hurt me. I knew I was in over my head. Why, why do I trust anyone if they can't do the same in return.

Stacy comes to find me "What's wrong?"

"Justin saw some pictures. He thinks that Aaron and I are more than friends. He thinks I cheated on him."

"You're joking right? You would never cheat on anyone."

"I know that. You know that, but he has made it clear that he doesn't know that."

"Let's get Kia, we will leave."

"No, I don't want to ruin our girl's day. Let's shop."

            I didn't want to be shopping. I wanted to be sitting in dark room by myself. I wanted to go back into my little box and never come out. However I couldn't let yet another guy tare me down. I had let myself get too far into this too soon. I really thought this time was different. The moment I met him and talked to him it was different.

"Mel, has he called back?" Kia asked.

"Yes, eight times."

"Why didn't you answer?"

"I don't want to talk to him right now."

"Maybe he can explain."

"Explain what, that he doesn't trust me.  That I made a mistake in trusting someone I really didn't know. I don't want to talk to him right now...." I stopped, exhaled "I just don't."

            On the way home he called three more times. Finally I simply sent him a text message, ‘I need time to think, decide what I need to do. I would never cheat on you.  I thought you knew that about me. Please give me a little time.' He sent a message that said, ‘I'm so sorry, I screwed up. I'm sorry. Take all the time you need.'