“Hey J? What’s up man?” Jesse asks me as we shake hands.

“Nothing much man. Just fucking hanging with the guys. Glad you could come out tonight.” I tell him as he smirks at me.

“Yeah, it’s been hard pulling myself away from Cassian. You know how that shit goes.” He says as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes and taps it against the palm of his hand before pulling out a cigarette and lighter, lighting it up as he kicks back in his chair at our table at the pub.

I just nod at him because I really don’t know what’s that like. I haven’t had a girl in forever because I can’t have Cassian. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few great fucks, a few good fucks, and some that I rather just not mention but none of them compared to Cassian.

Jesse and I have been friends for as long as I can remember, granted he’s never been my best friend like Trace but we’re pretty damn close. Then he started dating Cassian and things started to change.

Jessie is a friend,
Yeah, I know he's been
A good friend of mine
But lately something's changed
That ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine

Everyone knows once your boy finds a girl he really likes he stops spending so much time with his boys and the same thing happened to Jesse. Once him and Cassian started dating it was like he fucking disappeared or something. We’d rag on him so hard but then we met Cassian and I knew why he had so much trouble pulling himself away from her. I just fucking wish I had met her first.

You’re probably thinking what’s so special about this Cassian girl? Well, let me tell you what I think makes her so special, it’s the way she treats Jesse. She’s hot as hell but she’d do anything for her man and I want that but more importantly I want that from her.

“What’s she doing now that you can’t come hang with your boys every now and then?” Trace asked as Jesse took a puff and threw the boys his cocky smirk that I’ve come to associate with something naughty Cassian’s done.

“Dude, you don’t even fucking know. My lady’s got this new job so of course being a chick she had to go buy brand new outfits….ah but that isn’t the best part…” Jesse says as we all groan at him at the mention of Cassian shopping, “She had to buy new undergarments to suite her new outfits! So I got a little fashion show from my girl. It was wicked crazy. Her, twirling around in these little bra and panty sets in her high heels. She’s so fucking hot!” He says with a wide grin as he shakes his head and claps his hands together.

Is it bad that I feel so sick to my stomach? She’s his girl, not mine but listening to him brag about his girl makes me sick.

And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her in his arms late,
Late at night

I want her as my girl. I want her coming home to me and modeling her lingerie for me! I’m holding onto the hope that that will happen because right now she’s still Jesse’s girl.

“Hey Jesse, isn’t that your girl right over there?” Trace asks as we all turn and look over our shoulders.

Sure enough, there’s Cassian standing by the bar with all her friends and I want to groan at how hot she looks. She’s wearing a simple little green halter top with a pair of tight dark denim jeans. Her long dark brown hair is pulled back, half of it pinned back while the rest flows around her shoulders and down her back. She’s wearing those black boots that she loves so much and I just want to pin her against the bar and have my way with her.

She’s laughing at something her friends are saying, sipping casually on her beer, unaware that we’re all watching her. I sneak a look at Jesse who’s biting his lip as he leans back in his chair enjoying the view. Cassian leans against the bar, signaling for the bartender with a crook of her finger and we all chuckle at how the guy jumps to help her. She’s fucking dangerous.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Jesse whispers as the bartender leans closer to Cassian, whispering in her ear as she giggles before pulling away slightly, “Better go claim my girl,” he mutters taking the last puff of his cigarette before quashing it in the ash tray on our table and standing up.

He folds his shoulders before straightening out his frame again, stretching out his leather cut and running his hand over his chin length blond hair before sticking his hand in his pocket. He walks over to her with his slight swagger that clearly shows everyone he’s in charge.

You see, Cassian likes the bad boys. The ones that should be in lockup and not out in the streets walking around carelessly. Jesse’s a good guy but he’s been on the wrong side of the law a couple of times too and he‘s got the scars and tattoos to prove it. I think that just attracts her to him more.

I watch as he stands behind an unaware Cassian, who tries to pay the bartender and giggles when he just waves her money away. He eyes the bartender carefully before stepping up to Cassian and placing his hand on her hip. She whips around, obviously not prepared for the contact, then she relaxes when she sees it’s just Jesse.

I can feel jealousy surging through my whole body as she leans into him and nuzzles his neck with her nose, placing light kisses here and there as his hand moves from her hip to her ass. He’s so damn cocky as he eyes the bartender over Cassian’s head as he fondles her ass, as if he’s saying “she’s mine.” Of course Cassian doesn’t care about the silent standoff surrounding her, she just wraps her arms around Jesse’s neck, pulling her body closer to his.

It tears me up inside knowing that they’re together and that he gets to sleep with her. I try not to think about her screaming his name at night or him holding her in his arms late at night while she sleeps. She should be with me. I want her to be with me.

You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman like that

Anger washes over me as she lovingly caresses his cheek before pushing back his hair and tucking it behind his ear. Her beautiful green eyes gaze lovingly into his blue eyes as he kisses the tip of her nose and she laughs. The bartender that she was flirting with for free drinks has long been forgotten as she leans up slowly and presses her lips against Jesse’s and I have to look away.

It’s not fucking fair.

“Dude, you’re so fucking obvious! I’m surprised Jesse hasn’t kicked your ass yet!” Trace whispers next to me as I flip him off.

I can hear Cassian giggling and laughing but I’m not looking over there. I can’t fucking look over there. The temptation to see her again is too great and I finally look over.

I play along with the charade,
there doesn't seem to be a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty
When they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
But the point is probably moot

Jesse’s making his way back to our table with Cassian in tow, leading her by the hand. Her green eyes meet my blue ones as she gives me a small wave and a smile before taking a seat next to me.

“How have you’ve been J? I haven’t seen you in forever.” Cassian says as she plays with the label on her beer bottle.

Maybe it’s because I want you to fucking be my girl and I can’t stand to watch you with Jesse?

But I don’t say that.

'Cos she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body,
I just know it
And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

“Yeah I know. Class and work keep me busy. How have you been?” I ask her as I lean back in my chair trying to appear nonchalant about the whole thing as Jesse’s hand rubs along her neckline.

“I’ve been good,” she murmurs, all her attention shifting away from me as Jesse whispers something in her ear.

His fingers are tangling themselves in her long brown hair as she leans into him, her soft delicate fingers playing with the snaps on his leather cut. Her head rests on his shoulder as the guys start telling their stories and jacking around.

The guys all start whistling as a pretty tall blonde walks by the table and Jesse smirks as he checks out her ass. Anger flashes through me when I see him openly gawking at someone who isn’t his girl. Cassian’s ten times hotter than that blonde bimbo.

Cassian smacks his cheek softly and glares at him as he chuckles at her because she caught him.

“You’re an asshole.” She says softly as he shrugs his shoulders at her then leans over and kisses her temple.

“You know I love you baby girl. Can’t nobody compare to you girl.” Jesse tells her as she leans into his embrace even further and kisses his lips softly.

“You better remember that you’re mine honey.” She tells him as the guys all started to heckle him.

He just grins at her before replying, “Of course I’m yours. Just like you’re mine,” and flipping off the guys.

I feel so dirty watching as they rub their noses together and kiss slowly. I need to fucking get away from them before I punch my friend for making out with his girl.

Like Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman,
Where can I find a woman like that

I push my chair away from the table, getting up and stepping away before taking a deep breath. This is too much. I can’t take it anymore. I want her so fucking bad! I’m literally in pain every single time she’s all over him. She should just rip my heart out and stomp all over it, you know just to get it over with and be done with it.

“Hey J, can you get us another bucket of beer?” Jesse asks as he hands out his money to me.

“It’s okay Jesse. I got this.” I tell him as he nods his head at me and puts his money away.

That fucker’s so damn lucky.

I walk slowly to the bar, trying to clear my head and ignore all the drunk ladies trying to hit on me and get me to their tables. I finally make it to the bar and rest my palms against the counter while lowering my head. I feel like I’m fucking suffocating in this place and it’s all because of Cassian.

And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time,
Wondering what she don't see in me
I've been funny,
I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way
Love supposed to be
Tell me, where can I find a woman like that

I freeze as I feel someone’s fingertips lightly walking up my spine, “Why are you so stressed out?”, I hear Cassian whisper as she slides in next to me at the bar.

I peer at her over my shoulder before looking over at the table where Jesse is sitting, shooting the breeze with the boys, “He doesn’t know…about that night,” she whispers as her body presses up against me.

That night, we both pretend like it didn’t happen but she wanted it just as bad as I did. It’s not like she cheated on Jesse or anything, they weren’t official yet but damn if I didn’t want her to choose me after it happened.

“Good. He shouldn’t know about it. Ya’ll weren’t together anyways.” I respond as she lets out a sigh.

“You won’t tell him though, right?” She asks and I shake my head.

We go through this all the time. I haven’t told him yet so why would I? She made her choice and it wasn’t me. It hurts like hell but that’s the reality of our situation.

“You know I won’t tell him. You made your choice after that night and I have to deal with that. If I tell him that’s going to ruin our friendship and we both know I don’t want that. Especially if you don’t want to be my girl.” I explain as she nods softly and bites her lip.

“Everything was still so new J. I just couldn’t make that choice. You understand though, right?” She asks me and all I can do is nod because I don’t understand.

“He gets to be the lucky one. I understand that,” I mutter as the bartender hands me the bucket of beer, “Do me a favor Cassian, take this back to the table? I’ve got to get out of here.” I tell her as she nods and takes the bucket from me.

I make my way to the exit, my stomach sick and my heart in pain. I try to push my way out of the bar, taking a deep breath when I finally make it outside.

I don’t mean to make her feel guilty about her choice. I should have known that she would choose him, at the time they had started to talk, and we, quite honestly, weren’t on the same level like she was with him. She had been curious and so was I but I realize now it should have just ended there.

I make my way to my motorcycle and dig my keys out of my jean pockets. I climb on my bike and put the key in the ignition before rubbing my hands over my face, how did I fucking get to this place where she affects me so bad?

“Justin!” I hear Cassian calling out as she runs up to me and holds out my leather jacket to me, “You left your jacket behind,” she explains as she bites her bottom lip, looking at me with those curious green eyes of hers before smiling softly, “Why are you leaving so soon?”

“You know why Cassian. I can’t fucking pretend like I don’t have feelings for you. If you want to be with him then fine, fucking be with him but I’m not going to sit around and fucking watch it,” I mutter as I slip on my jacket and start to put on my helmet.

“J,” she starts to say.

“Don’t fucking J me. Do you know how fucking hard it is to watch you with him when I’ve had your lips on mine? Do you know how fucking hard it is to deal with the fact that you’re moaning his name at night when I’ve fucking had you screaming mine? Do you even fucking know how much I love you?” I shout at her before realizing where we’re at and how I’m making a scene.

“What the fuck ever J! You think I don’t know about all the girls you’ve had since me! You talk about loving me but yet you fucked Ashley, my best friend, two days later! So don’t fucking pull that bullshit with me!” She shouts at me before turning on her heel and walking away from me.

I climb off my bike in anger, unsnapping the strap on my helmet before I toss aside and on the ground. I grab Cassian’s arm and spin her around to face me as my other hand cups her neck and I push her against the wall.

She doesn’t fight me though, opting to lean forward and trying to press her lips against mine but I don’t let her. I press my body against hers, enjoying her soft moan as she tries to kiss me but I don’t let her again as I nuzzle my nose against her neck, taking in her soft citrus scent. My lips attach themselves to the soft skin of her neck as my hand that is on her arm slips to her hip and around to her ass, pulling her body even closer to mine.

She lets out a soft grunt as her fingers weave themselves into my hair and she tries to tug my head closer to her lips. She pulls my body tight against hers, moaning into my ear as I press against her center. I kiss and lick along her collarbone, stopping to lavish the bare skin exposed by her halter top.

“Kiss me baby,” She moans out as my hand on her neck tightens it’s hold on her and brings her face closer to mine.

I lick my lips as I look into her green eyes before complying with her request and pressing my lips against hers. She wants more though as she tugs on my short curls and I slant my mouth over hers, sliding my tongue against hers as she tries to get closer and closer to me.

The hand that I used to hold her neck travels down her neckline and over her breast as I groped her gently before moving down to her hip. She moans into my mouth as we continue to kiss and my hands grip her ass and pick her up, wrapping her legs around my waist. She smiles against my lips as our foreheads touch until someone behind us whistles and we realize where we’re at.

Her legs unwrap themselves from around my waist as I let her down. She rests her head against my chest and lets out a deep sigh before looking up at me. Her hand caresses my cheek as I lean into her touch before pressing a soft kiss on the inside of her palm, knowing I have to let her go. For now and forever.

We pull away from each other slowly, “I should probably go back inside,” she whispers as I nod at her and she bites her bottom lip, “Let me think about some things J,” she whispers as I nod again and she pulls away from me slowly, still linking our fingers together, holding my hand like she doesn’t want to let go.

“Yeah, you’re still Jesse’s girl. He’s probably wondering where you’re at. Just promise me you’ll think about giving us a try.” I tell her as she nods at me before making her way back to me, swinging our hands together before pushing me up against the wall and kissing me softly.

“You know I will,” She whispers before letting go of my hand and walking back into the bar.

I can’t help but think that after tonight I’ll have Jesse’s girl.

You know, I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I want Jessie's girl,
Where can I find a woman like that, like
Jessie's girl,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl,
I want,
I want Jessie's girl