“Where you at? Let’s go grab a beer.”

“I’m… busy.” I mutter, hoping he won’t hear the papers rattling on my end.

“Doing what exactly? I haven’t seen you in like, a week and I work for your ass man. Where have you been?”

I’m not about to admit it to him, but I’ve purposely made myself MIA.

After the incident with Madison, and her usual MO of blowing me off and hauling ass away from me, I figured it was better to lay low and keep to myself, than try to hash it all out.

I mean, ok fine… yeah, I did try to talk to her about it. And look what she did.

Right then and there, I made up my mind.

Fuck. Her.

I’m done. I’ve spent way too much time chasing her around, and I’ve had my fill. I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life doing this shit with her.

She wants Lucas, she can have him. Atleast until he gets too serious for her, and she bails. Chances are good, that’s exactly how she’s going to live the rest of her life.

“I’ve been working. Believe it or not, there’s shit to do around here that doesn’t involve following a band across the country, and fucking around.”

“No shit man? I had no idea.” He laughs. “Seriously… what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m just-”

“Oh… here you are.” He smirks as he enters the room and snaps his phone shut.

“How’d you figure out I was down here?”

“Well… it was kind of like a really intense game of Marco Polo. I just kept walking til I heard you. So, here I am. In accounting.” He scrunches his nose up and looks around quickly. “What the fuck are you doing in accounting?”

“Invoices… and ya know… accounting… things.” I shrug.

“Invoices? The guy who can’t count any higher than 10 and has to use his fingers and toes for simple math is doing invoices? What the fuck is the world coming to?”

“Funny. You should look into stand up comedy. Ass.”

“Seriously… accounting? Don’t you pay some old ass lady to do this?”

This little shit just doesn’t quit, does he? I feel like I’m being fucking interrogated or something.

I mean, I guess he’s just trying to show concern, but shit. If I wanted to talk about it, I’d talk. Why can’t he just take it at face value? If I say I’m working, maybe that’s all it is.

“I’m just… I needed some space.” I sigh loudly and I’ve got to admit, it feels pretty damn good to finally admit it to someone other than myself.

I just… I don’t want to see her. I don’t want to hear her voice, smell her perfume. I don’t even want to breathe the same fucking air she does.

I can’t be around her, in any way, shape, or form. So, I’m burying myself in bullshit paper work, that I don’t really have to do.

“What’d she do?”

“Who?”

“Don’t play stupid with me. You might be able to fool everybody else, but I know that every single thing you do or say is somehow centered around Madison. So, I reiterate, what’d she do?”

“Same shit, different day man.” I mumble and roll my eyes. “I swear to Christ… she just… fuck. She never sticks shit out, you know? Just once, I’d love to see her face something head on, actually resolve something.”

“So, make her.” He shrugs. “Sit her down and be like, ‘look woman, this is how shit is. Deal with it.’ It’ll work. Mark my words sir.”

“You do realize this is Madison we’re talking about, correct?”

“Then the way I see it, you’ve got one other option. Be done with it, and move the fuck on once and for all.”

As usual, the midget is right. And I’m well aware of it.

So, fine… in the words of my best friend, I’m gonna move the fuck on.

**********************************

“Oh… umm… nothing. Just playing around.” She shrugs and quickly shuts her notebook shut before placing her guitar in its case. “Why are you here?”

“Just locking up. I was taking care of some paperwork.”

“Oh, ok. Well… just uhh… just give me a minute to get my stuff together and I’ll get out of your way.” She finally looks up at me and I gotta admit, I’m more than a little surprised to see tear streaks covering her face, her eyes red and puffy.

Shit.

Why is it virtually impossible for me to find her in a good mood? I mean, isn’t our… situation, awkward enough as it is?

“You know what… umm… take your time. It’s cool.” I shrug and turn to head out of the studio.

I don’t know what the issue is, and part of me really, really doesn’t want to. Getting sucked into whatever drama she has going on, never seems to end well.

We’ll both be better off if I just stay the fuck out of it and go on my way.

“Lucas dumped me.” She laughs bitterly and I stop dead in my tracks.

Definitely wasn’t expecting that.

Honestly, I figured the Lucas debacle would end much like my relationship with Madison did.

She’d freak out, take off and ditch him. Him breaking up with her never really crossed my mind.

“You ok?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” She nods and for some strange reason, I actually believe her. “It was kind of inevitable, ya know? I mean… he’s the kind of guy I should be with, but it just… I don’t know. I knew it was gonna happen sooner or later.”

“Yeah, guess so.”

Ok… what the hell am I supposed to say here? Seriously, what guy wants to console his ex-girlfriend through a break up? Sure as shit not me.

“It’s fine.” She sighs and nods again. “Anyway, I’ll get my stuff and get out of here so you can go home.”

I turn to head for the door and once again, her voice stops me.

“You know what’s fucked up…” She chuckles and rolls her eyes. “I’ve always idolized Stevie Nicks for being this bad ass, take no prisoners rocker chick, right? But… somehow, I ended up doing the shit she did, that I swore I wouldn’t. The drug problem… getting involved with a guy in my band. I promised myself I’d never do that shit. I became my idol, in the worst possible ways.”

I want to disagree with her. Tell her that she didn’t fuck up, but she did. She’s finally taking a good, hard look at herself, and I can’t lie… it’s been a long fucking time coming.

“And the really weird thing… I thought Lucas was my Lindsey, you know? But see… the problem wasn’t Lindsey not wanting Stevie. Stevie didn’t want Lindsey… she didn’t want to get married, she didn’t want to be tied down, and he did. So, she left him.” Tears well up in her eyes and she bites down on her bottom lip. “You… you’re my Lindsey.”

And that ladies and gentlemen, is how you slap somebody in the fucking face with absolutely no physical contact.

And the shitty thing is… what she just said, makes me completely rethink every decision I’ve made within the last six hours.

Lucas is out of the picture.

She’s finally seeing the things myself and everyone else has been trying to tell her for two years.

She’s starting to make sense again.

And all of that combined, gives me just an ounce of hope. Maybe I’m not ready to give up on her just yet.

**********************************

You know how sometimes you just know you’re walking into a really fucking awkward situation?

That’s exactly how I feel right now.

We’re loading the busses and in roughly 20 minutes, the band is heading out on the road for the tour.

Madison and Lucas haven’t spoken in two days. Lucas’s brother is lurking about, trying to hide the fact that he’s been screwing around with Stella. Then you’ve got Benny, who seems completely oblivious to the outside world.

Somehow, throwing me, Jc and Trace into this mix just screams bad idea.

But, duty calls, or however the fuck you wanna rationalize it. Bottom line is, it’s fucked up.

Now, don’t go thinking that just because I’ve decided to not move on, that I’m going to following Madison around like some lost puppy. As a matter of fact, I’m going to do the opposite.

Let’s face facts here, she just broke up with a guy in her band. I’m smart enough to know that’s not something I need to get in the middle of. Especially since I seem to be the only other person who knows about it.

I’m gonna give her some time to get her shit straight, and if she gets back to normal in that time, then… we’ll see.

“And what the hell do you want me to do about it?” Madison shouts suddenly, and I look over to find her huddled in a corner with Lucas.

He’s whispering, but she doesn’t seem to care if she draws the attention of every person in this lot.

“Fuck you. He’s in charge, he wants to come, he’s more than welcome to.” She stomps away from him and marches onto the bus, slamming the door behind her.

It takes all of two seconds before Lucas is headed in my direction, his usual scowl firmly in place.

Great. Things just keep improving, don’t they?

“I want out.”

“Out of what, exactly?”

“The band. I want out. I’m not gonna spend two months on the road fighting with her, and having you watching over my shoulder all the god damn time. You’ve got two weeks to find a new guitarist.”

“You’re under contract.”

“Like you give a fuck about my contract?” He laughs humorlessly and shakes his head. “Admit it, you want me out of here so you can go after her. Fine, you got what you wanted. Just release me from my contract. Or sue… I don’t give a shit. I just want out.”

“I’ll have Trace draw it up.” I shrug. “I don’t see why you’re doing this, but whatever man.”

He gives me a short nod before turning and heading toward the crew bus, his bags in hand.

It’s just an endless cycle of bullshit around here, ain’t it?