"So, what happens now?"

"Umm... I guess we just hang out till it's time to go to the venue, and that's not till around four... so..."

"I meant with Justin." Stella snorts and shakes her head slowly. "Good lord girl... are you really this damn dense?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Ok... I didn't say a word to anyone about what happened the other night. I swear... sometimes I think Stella's psychic and that's just scary.

"You slept with him." She smiles knowingly. "It's written all over your face. So... what's the plan?"

"I didn't sleep with him." I mutter and roll my eyes. "And there's no plan."

"Ahh... lying to me now too, eh?" She chuckles and for a split second, I kind of want to slap her. "That's all good and well... but you're playing with fucking fire Mads."

"Right." I nod and quickly slide out of the booth.

"I'm trying to help, ya know. You've got to be careful. This back and forth mess you have with him is just going to bite you in the ass. You need to clear it up, or end it."

I shoot her the best smile I can manage and damn near haul ass out of the hotel restaurant.

Gotta admit... I'm not exactly thrilled that what I do in my spare time is so easy to figure out. Especially when it's something I'd like to keep private.

Granted, I know Stella's a hundred percent right. But... why do I have to have a plan? I mean... can't I just wing it? Maybe for once, I don't want to over-think the whole thing.

Besides... Justin so obviously isn't sitting around freaking out, so why the hell should I? I don't regret it or anything, but it would be nice to have it atleast be acknowledged.

To put it simply... he's avoiding me. And not just, won't answer his phone avoiding me. If I see him in the hallway, he's conveniently going the other direction. If we're in thez88;same room, he suddenly has to leave for some super important meetingz88;or phone call.

It's blatantly obvious, but it's fine. I guess in some weird way, I don't really blame him. Neither of us knows what the hell is happening here, or how we're supposed to act, and it's really fucking weird.

But, as I've had to learn the hard way, many, may times... ignoring it doesn't solve the problem. Then again... maybe that's exactly how we should be handling this.

Maybe if I show him that I'm not gonna go totally psycho on him, he'll loosen up.

Damnit... I promised myself I wouldn't do this. My over analyzing never helps anything. Hell... that's a big part of why we've ended up where we are now.

I make my way through the lobby and can't help but roll my eyes when I spot Justin waiting for the elevator.

I should probably take the stairs... but where's the fun in that?

I head straight for him, praying like hell that he won't see me before I actually make it. For the first time in days, he's by himself and doesn't have a fucking phone glued to his ear. I'd say this qualifies as one of those now or never type situations.

I'm just feet away from him when the elevator arrives, and I pick up my pace, smiling stupidly to myself. This is almost too freaking perfect.

I catch the elevator just in time, not missing the way he rolls his eyes when I hit the button for my floor. If I wanted to be a real brat, I could hit every single button for every floor and trap him here, but even I know that borders on the not fun side of crazy.

However, I don't have a whole lot of time here, so I better make the most of it.

"Morning." I murmur, keeping my eyes on the changing numbers.

"Mornin."

"So... Ryan seems to be fitting in pretty well."

"Oh... umm.... yeah. Definitely." He nods, not so much as even glancing in my direction.

Alright... this is just fucking uncomfortable. And I haven't got the slightest idea how to fix it.

"Umm... we're all gonna grab dinner after the show tonight."

Yeah... probably should have thought ahead on this. I mean... it shouldn't be too hard to convince everybody to go out... they always do anyway.

"Oh, really? That's cool." He nods.

"You should come." He finally looks over at me, and if I'm not mistaken... he looks kind of... confused. "We haven't all gone out together in awhile. I thought it'd be fun."

"Yeah... yeah. Sounds cool." He forces a smile and nods again. "I'll catch you guys after the show, alright? Anyway... this is me. Later." The doors are barely even open before he's darting off the elevator and down the hallway.

Ok... the awkwardness isn't lost on me, but it's a start, right?

;Unfortunately, I'm beginning to see just how dead on Stella is. Cause as much as this sucks on a personal level, it could make business even worse.

And there's no fuckin way I can let that happen.

**************************

“Good show.” Jc grins as the four of us file off the stage.

I nod in response and take a long swig of my water. “You get the reservation?”

“Yeah. We’ll head out once everybody’s cleaned up.”

Yes, I really have stooped this low.

I convinced everyone to go to dinner under the guise of a big, happy band get together. When really, all I’m trying to do is force Justin into spending time with me.

I’m well aware of the fact that it’s pathetic as hell. But really… what other choice do I have? The guy damn near trips over himself trying to get away from me.

So, I’ve got a good feeling about this little plan. He needs to see that I’m trying to be somewhat grown up about the mess we’ve gotten ourselves into. And I honestly think this could be the way to do it.

“Where’s Justin?”

“Haven’t seen him.” Jc shrugs. “Just get a shower. I’ll call him.”

Ok… nothing to freak out about, right? I mean… it’s actually pretty normal for Justin to not be at our shows. Jc will call him, he’ll meet us at the restaurant and everything will be fine.

I shower and change quickly, making sure to put no extra effort into my appearance. What? I don’t want the idiot thinking I’m trying too hard.

Yeah… I’m definitely putting way too much thought into this. Sometimes, I’m convinced that I really am out of my damn mind.

It doesn’t take long before I’m seated at a table, surrounded by almost everyone I know. They’re all chatting easily, browsing the menu and doing exactly what they think this gathering was intended for.

Sadly… all I can do is stare at the single empty seat, and pout like a two year old.

It’s ok… he’s probably just running late. It’s not like he’s so desperate to avoid me that he’d actually bail on everyone, right?

“What’s up your ass?” Trace elbows me and grins before taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh… umm… nothing. Tired.” I shrug and pick up my menu, attempting to blend in.

“Right.” He mutters and rolls his eyes. “Ya know… this would be really cool if Justin would’ve pulled the stick out of his ass and shown up. You’d have the whole crew here then.”

“He’ll be here.” I mutter. Sometimes, I kind of wish Trace would just disappear.

“No he won’t. He stayed at the hotel to work on some shit.”

Oh he has got to be fucking kidding.

“So… he’s not coming at all?”

“Uhh.. No.” Trace shrugs. “Who cares. He’d just be all pissy anyway. Hey… you alright? Your nostrils are flaring and it’s really fucking scary.”

“I’m fine.” I jerk my bag off of the floor and storm out of the restaurant without another word.

If I find that no good, god damn coward, I may actually kill him. Then I’ll figure out a way to bring him back to life, and kill him again.

I know what’s happening isn’t ideal, and yeah… it fucking sucks. But I’m trying to fix it damnit! And for some reason, he seems hellbent on making it worse.

He’s always given me so much shit for running away from things, but when I do actually try to face something and straighten it out, he refuses to cooperate.

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m bothering.

I make the two block trek back to the hotel, my mind running over the dozens of things I want and need to say. Whether or not I’ll actually get them out is the big question, but at least I have a plan, right?

I take the elevator to our floor and march straight to Justin’s room, knocking on the door as loudly as humanly possible.

Nothing.

I pound my fist into the door again and roll my eyes. “Justin… open the damn door!”

Silence.

Ok… I guess it is possible that he’s not actually in his room. And of course, like the lunatic I am… I have every intention of hunting his ass down.

I knock on almost every single door, and get no response at any of them. Clearly, he is not hiding in a room.

And yes… at this point, I’m pretty much convinced that he’s hiding.

I make my way back down to the lobby, checking the weight room, the pool, the bar.

In the span of 20 minutes, I’ve scoured this entire fucking hotel and he is nowhere to be found.

I spot a man behind the front desk, and figure this is as good a place as any to ask. Surely this guy would have seen him if he left the building.

“Hi… Mark.” I smile as I approach him, my eyes flitting to his name tag, then back to his face. “I was wondering if you’d seen Justin Timberlake anywhere?”

No… that doesn’t make me sound like a psycho at all. Then again… I’m not exactly concerned about front desk guy thinking I may or may not be crazy.

There are more pressing matters at hand. Like the fact that I am going to painfully murder the king of pop.

“No Miss Fox… I haven’t seen him all evening.”

“Are you sure? Because he isn’t on our floor. And I was supposed to meet him somewhere and-”

“Haven’t seen him.” He shoots me a nervous smile and that’s when it clicks.

He’s lying.

I’d like to think that over the last couple years, I’ve learned to read people. In most cases, it’s pretty easy to spot a liar from a mile away. They won’t look you in the eyes, they interrupt you to get their point across. They pretend they’re entirely too busy to be bothered with whatever you’re asking them.

Yep… he’s definitely lying.

“You know where he is.”

“I assure you Miss Fox… I do not.”

“Ok… this really isn’t the time to fuck with me.” I smile sweetly and front desk guy swallows hard. “I am having a pretty shitty day, and I need to find Justin Timberlake. Now. So… I’d suggest you cough up whatever you know, or you and I are going to have a serious god damn problem.”

“He… he came down about an hour ago… he… he left through the back, by the kitchens.”

He’s on the bus.

He’s a sneaky fucker, I’ll give him that much.

“Thank you. You’ve been ever so helpful.” I roll my eyes and stalk toward the kitchens.

If he isn’t on this bus… well… bad things will happen. We’ll leave it at that.

I breathe a sigh of relief when I see lights on. Definitely a good sign. I climb onto the bus quietly and smile when I hear the faint sound of a keyboard and Justin’s voice softly singing along with a melody that I’ve never heard.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I heard him play. I actually kind of miss it.

I enter the backroom of the bus and find him seated on the floor, keyboard laid out in front of him, sheet music scattered all around. I can just barely make out his small, untidy scrawl marked all over the pages.

“So…” I clear my throat and he jumps a little. “You missed dinner to write?”

“Uhh… yeah. Sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“Sure about that? Cause you’ve been avoiding me for about three days now, and I don’t think it’s just some coincidence that you missed dinner.”

“I said I was sorry. God damn… lay the fuck off, will you?” He mutters and shakes his head. “Shouldn’t you be at dinner anyway?”

“I left.” I shrug and plop down on the couch. “See… I, unlike you apparently, think we need to do some serious talking.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.”

“Oh… ok. So, the other night meant absolutely nothing, and was just another example of me being the party girl slut you seem to think I am, right? That’s great Justin. I’m so fucking glad that you have no problem ignoring the shit you do to me.”

“The shit I do to you?” He laughs bitterly and rolls his eyes. “Don’t sit there and act like some poor pitiful victim. Anything I’ve done to you… you already did twice as much to me. If you think this clusterfuck isn’t a two way street… you can leave right now.”

“Right. Because that’s exactly what you expect, isn‘t it? For me to just ignore it and run away again. Guess what? Not gonna happen. You’ve been on my ass for years to stand up and face shit. We aren’t leaving this bus until we get some shit straight.”

“Guess we’re gonna be here for a long fuckin time then.”

Clearly, I was an idiot to think he’d agree to actually talking this shit out.

He’s always been so quick to judge me for blowing the tough stuff off, but he does it too. He’s run from everything just as much as I have.

He’s one hundred percent right on this being a two way street. And that’s exactly why we’re both going to sit here and figure it all out.

Come hell or highwater, there’s going to be some type of resolution tonight.

“I don’t even know what you want me to say.” He sighs, pushing the keyboard away and turning to face me. “It meant something… I fuckin told you that. Everything with you means something. I just haven’t got a fucking clue what, and I drive myself crazy trying to figure it out. And then you start acting like a god damn lunatic… and I hate you so fucking much when you do that. And then… just when I’m ready to wash my hands of you… you… you have this moment where you’re the girl I met four years ago, and just when I think we can go back… some other bullshit comes up… and I fucking hate you again.”

I knew it.

I’ve always known that somewhere in the back of his mind, he hated me. Hell… I knew when we first met that he pretty much loathed me, and I guess maybe that hatred never completely went away.

In some weird way… I get it. And if I’m being honest… there’s a small part of me that’s always hated him.

But I managed to get past it. Apparently, he didn’t.

“Yeah… you don’t have anything to say, do you?” I mumble, keeping my eyes glued to the floor. If I look at him now, I’ll totally lose my shit, and I’m not about to let him see me cry again.

“You’re taking this shit the wrong way. Damnit Madison… I… I don’t even know how to talk to you anymore. You’re different… and I’m different… and it’s just… it’s not bad different.” He frowns and shakes his head. “Look, I know all you’re hearing is how much I hate you. But you know damn well, as much as I hate you sometimes… I… fuck… as lame as it sounds, I love you ten times more than that. And you’re so wrapped up in hating me, that you don’t even realize it.”

“Could you just fucking once… manage to not put me down? Seriously Justin… I am so damn tired of your backwards ass way of thinking. No matter what you’re trying to say… you still find a way to call me fucking crazy, or stupid. If that’s what you really think… then you’re right… there isn’t anything to fucking say here.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid. You oughta know that shit by now. As for the crazy part…” He smirks and I can’t stop myself from kicking him in the side. “Ow! God damnit woman… you came here just to abuse me, didn’t you?”

“Like you don’t deserve it.” I mutter, ignoring the pout that takes over his face. “I just… I love you. And yeah… I fucked up a lot, I know that. But I want to make it right. And I want you to make your shit right. And if we can get even half way back to what we were… then all the bullshit we’ve put ourselves through is gonna be worth it. But I can’t do this on my own Justin. You have to help me, or this isn’t gonna go anywhere.”

“Madison…” He sighs, a frown quickly settling on his face.

Oh god… I am fucking stupid.

I just assumed that there was some hope of salvaging what we had, and didn’t even think about whether or not that’s what he wanted.

See… this is a prime example of why running is the best way to go. Had I ignored all of this, I wouldn’t have just made a complete jackass of myself.

“You know what… forget I said anything. That’s not what you want… and that’s fine.” I force a smile for his benefit and nod. “Sorry I interrupted you.” I slide off of the couch and head for the door, only to have him jump up from his spot on the floor and grab me by the arm, spinning me around to face him.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, alright?” He says quietly, looking me dead in the eyes. “I want that… more than you do, probably. I just don’t want to get my hopes up and have it not work out. But… if you’re gonna put in the effort, then you bet your ass I will too.”

He smiles at me, and for the first time in god knows how long… it’s genuine. He hasn’t smiled at me like that in almost two years. And it feels really fucking good.

And it actually makes me believe that somewhere down the road… we just might be ok.