I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.

I fucking hate New Years Eve.

However, the only plus side now is that I’m beyond happy to see this shit year come to an end. And thank god it’s actually ending on a positive note. Cause the way shit was going, I may have considered putting a fuckin gun to my head.

Which, if I’m being honest… doesn’t sound like such a bad idea at the moment.

When I found out we’d be in L.A for the holidays, I figured I’d get to escape all the retarded partying and bar hopping. But of course, shit never goes the way I think it will, and I am currently stuck in some shitty club, waiting for the clock to strike midnight so we can all get the fuck out of here.

“You gonna sit around and pout all fuckin night or what?” Trace mutters as he eases into the booth.

“I just want to get out of here man. I’m bored and Madison’s… I don’t even know where the hell she went.”

“Last time I saw her, she was running around with Stella.” He shrugs, taking a long sip of his beer. “I think the Grammy shit’s starting to get to em or something. They’re both hanging out entirely too close to the bar.”

Believe it or not, I’m so damn tired of hearing about the Grammy’s. It’s still more than a month away, but it’s all anybody wants to talk about.

Which I guess, I can kind of understand. But shit… give it a fuckin rest already.

I’m probably more proud of them than anyone else, and yeah… I know it’s exciting, and I know that this is like, the ultimate for Madison, but they’re worrying about it way too much. They need to take it for what it is, and just be excited.

Madison’s actually been the calmest about it, believe it or not. She’s convinced they aren’t going to win, so she’s doing her best to not buy into all the hype. And that alone speaks volumes. Two years ago, she’d have been going batshit crazy with all of this.

I had my doubts, but she’s spent the last three months proving to me that she really has grown up. She’s finally got her shit together and I know it’s all going to work out this time.

And you have know idea how fucking good it feels to finally be that sure of something. Since the day I met her, nothing’s been set in stone. Just when I thought shit was on track, something else came out of nowhere and threw everything into this huge clusterfuck.

And that’s finally over.

“There you are.” Madison grins as she and Stella stumble up to the table.

Yeah… tonights gonna be a real barrel of fuckin monkeys.

“Been here all night.”

“My point exactly. It’s almost midnight… you’re supposed to be having fun.” She pouts at me, while Stella grabs Trace’s beer and downs the rest of it in one gulp, completely ignoring his protests.

I know I’m probably being all bitter and moody for no reason, but I would much rather be at home, or even a hotel, just hanging out. But, Madison insisted everyone go out, so here we are.

“I think you’re having enough fun for the both of us.”

“Don’t be mean.” She slaps my arm and slides into the booth next to me.

As she reaches for my glass, movement on the other side of the room catches my attention. A rail thin brunette slips out of her seat and immediately lands in a heap on the floor, her friends giggling the whole time rather than help her up.

See, yet another reason to hate this holiday. Every idiot on the planet is out getting fucked up, not caring how much they humiliate themselves.

“Can we please go home?” I muster up the most pathetic look I can manage and turn to face Madison.

She nods disinterestedly, her eyes glued to the group across the room. The five of them are now huddled around the table, looking around suspiciously every few minutes. Yeah… real subtle, assholes.

“Maddie… baby… please?”

“After midnight.” She mumbles, her gaze still on the group of morons on the other side of the room.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Trace barks, snapping his fingers in her face.

“They’re doing coke over there.” She frowns and rolls her eyes. “And… I think that’s…”

Before she can even finish her sentence, the brunette glances behind her, doing a double take when her eyes sweep over our table.

There’s no fuckin way.

I mean… no. There’s just absolutely no way in hell.

“Mads… you better keep your ass in that chair.” Stella says quietly, her attention focused solely on keeping Madison calm.

“Why would I get up?” She laughs, shaking her head. “I don’t have anything to say to her.

Whether or not it’s on purpose, I can’t be sure, but she slides closer to me and I throw an arm around her shoulders, mostly in an attempt to keep her seated. Sure, she’s grown up a hell of a lot these last couple months, but I’m not a total fucking idiot. She could very well lose her shit right now, and I’m determined to keep that from happening. The last damn thing we need is some big ass scene here in the middle of a packed club.

Keri stumbles toward us, and my grip on Madison tightens. This is going to be so fucking bad.

“Well… what do we have here?” She smirks and leans on the table for support.

And that’s when I realize just how fucking awful she looks. She’s thinner than possibly healthy, her eyes are dark and sunken into the back of her head. The girl looks like absolute hell. And I know I should probably feel bad, but I don’t. Not in the least.

“Can we help you with something?” Stella barks, glaring at her.

“Hardly. I just figured I’d come say hi. You all look… well.”

“Right.” Stella snorts and shakes her fucking head.

“So Madison… heard you were nominated for a few Grammy’s.”

Great. Here we fuckin go.

It’s just a matter of time before Keri says something to totally set Madison off, and I’ll be stuck bailing her ass out of jail for the third god damn time. Great way to start off the year, huh?

“You heard right.” Madison nods slowly.

“You know… it’s funny that you were never nominated for your solo shit.”

“Oh yeah… completely hilarious.” Madison rolls her eyes, a sarcastic smile planted on her face. “But hey… I’m nominated now, so… looks like it worked out ok.”

“Right.” She snorts and shakes her head. “You aren’t going to win. Everybody knows you’ll find a way to completely tank this little band you’ve got going and you’ll be right back at square one.”

“Well… if that happens… maybe you and I can start a band, since you’re doing that pathetic, has-been train wreck thing so well.” Madison grins and I do my best to cover my laughter with a cough.

“Don’t you dare talk to me like that.” Keri fumes, while Madison nods, a mock serious look on her face. “Even after all this time, you still want to act like some high and mighty princess. What gives you the right, huh? You’ve always acted like you’re so much better than everyone else, and guess what Madison? You’re not. You’re still a washed up coke head.”

“You sure we’re still talking about me here?” Madison chuckles and shakes her head. “Keri… clearly, you’re fucked out of your mind… I’d suggest you go back to your friends before something bad happens.”

“Why? You gonna hit me again? Go ahead and fuckin try it.”

“You know what… we’re leaving. Go shove some more shit up your nose.” Madison damn near growls as she slides out of the booth, pulling me along with her.

She doesn’t say a word as she drags me through the club, shoving people out of her way as she goes. It isn’t until we’re outside that she lets go of my hand and starts pacing and mumbling to herself.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or say. For all I know, she’s having some type of psychotic break, and saying the wrong thing will cause her to completely snap. Then I’ll end up dead and there’s just no fun in that.

“Madison…” I begin slowly. “Baby… you alright?”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” She stops dead in her tracks and stares at me. “Did you see that shit in there?”

“Look… she’s a bitch… and she was high. Fuck her. We all know none of that shits true.”

“I don’t care about what she said.” She laughs and rolls her eyes. “I… I.. I fucking ignored her! I just walked away from what could have been a really bad ass fight, and I’m drunk… and now, that means I’m a real live grown up… and that’s fucking scary. I’m gonna have to ignore bad shit all the time from now on, and I… well, that just sucks. I don’t want to be a grown up. I want to get mad and hit bitchy girls who steal my boyfriends!”

“So… you’re upset…because… you didn’t get in a fight, and finally learned how to act like an adult?”

“Exactly!” She cries, a pout quickly forming on her face.

“You know what…” I laugh and slide an arm around her shoulders. “I think we need to get some food in you, and put you to bed.”

“Grown ups don’t get put to bed.” She mumbles as I guide her down the street.

“Seeing as how you’re just learning this grown up thing… I think it’ll be alright.”