"All I'm saying is, it seems like our best option, ya know? I hate to ask you to do it, but if we don't win this battle of the bands thing, we're fucked." Lucas sighs and shakes his head. "But, if you don't want to do it, it's cool. Maybe we'll get lucky and actually win, and I know there'll be a ton of label people at the Killer's show."    

"No, it's fine. I'll see what I can do. Just don't get your hopes up or anything. Things with him didn't end on such great terms."    

"Jesus Christ... is there anybody in LA you didn't piss off?" He chuckles and shoves me playfully.    

"Oh, bite me." I giggle. "Anyway... I think I can come up with a decent, ow! What the fuck?" I shriek and hop out of my seat, rubbing my shoulder gently.     

"You told me to bite you." He shrugs. "So, we've got what, 6 good songs here? We're set for awhile, I think."    

"Good. Am I free now?"    

"Sure."    

"Oh thank god."    

"Aw... c'mon... you say that like writing with me is some awful experience." He pouts at me and suddenly, my knees feel a little weak.    

I can't see anything with him being awful.    

Since I agreed to seriously pursue taking this band somewhere, things with Lucas have been steadily improving. Now, he actually listens to me, even encourages some of the ideas I have. That one conversation seems to have been our turning point.    

However, he still doesn't seem very impressed with my past, but I'm perfectly ok with that. We're good now and that's all that matters.     

"You need help, seriously." I giggle and roll my eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."    

"Later." He nods as I head for the door.    

It isn't until I climb into my car that the tension hits me.     

My goal in moving to Colorado had been to get as far away from my past as humanly possible, and now I've been asked to go meet it head on.     

I knew pursuing this band thing would mean going back to some of my old connections, I guess I just didn't expect to need this one in particular.    

But... we'll need a manager and I honestly can't think of anyone better suited for the job than Jc Chasez.     

The only problem is, I seriously doubt he wants anything to do with me.

****************    

I pull up in front of the modest white house and take a deep breath. I've got some damn nerve, that much is for sure.     

I tried to call, I swear I did. But every single time I'd dial the number, I'd lose my nerve before I got to the last digit. I thought maybe it was some kind of sign, that if I was really supposed to do this, I would have been able to dial his number with no problem.         

But, deep down, I know it's guilt.     

I screwed him over, probably more so than anyone else and I'm terrified of having to face him again.     

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that if I have any hope of him hearing me out, I have to do this in person. If I called, he'd hang up on me in a heartbeat and that'd be the end of it.     

"We gonna sit here all fuckin day or what?" Lucas grins at me and I shake my head.    

"Sorry... I was just..."    

"I can stay here if you want... I don't wanna get involved in whatever personal shit you guys have."    

"No, it's fine. Actually... he might go a little easier on me with you there. You've got the demo, right?"    

"Course. I come prepared." He smirks and holds up the CD case. "Ready?"    

"As I'll ever be." I mutter and climb out of the rental car, Lucas trailing behind me.    

I shuffle up the walkway, praying that he doesn't scream at me and slam the door in my face the whole time. I can't really blame him if he does, but I really, really hope it doesn't come to that.     

I know I shouldn't expect much from him. After all, I turned my back on him, swore that I was done and now I've come here to beg his forgiveness. I'm sure it looks like I lied about everything, but that really isn't the case.    

Even after I agreed to take this further, I really put some thought into it and I honestly believe this is the best thing for me. Obviously, I couldn't handle the pressure on my own, but I was miserable living a normal life. I have to perform, there's no other way around it.     

We finally reach the door and I raise my fist to knock, pausing for a split second.    

Do I really want to do this?    

I mean, what if... what if this sets everything else in motion? How long can I drag this out before I'd have to see him?    

But then again... just because we'd be in the same town doesn't necessarily mean we'd have to see each other, and the last time I checked, him and Jc weren't exactly on the best of terms.    

I finally rap my knuckles against the door, take a step back and wait.     

The door swings open a minute later and when his eyes finally come to rest on me, it's impossible to miss the hatred in them. His mouth sets into a thin line as he folds his arms across his chest and glares at me.     

"What do you want?" His tone comes out even, but I know he's doing everything he can to not scream at me.    

"I umm... I was... I was hoping we could talk." I swallow hard and force the best smile I can manage, but I'm sure it comes out as more of a grimace.    

"I haven't got anything to say to you. Thanks for stopping by." He mutters and turns to slam the door.     

Lucas moves quickly, placing his foot in the doorway and smiling widely at Jc. "We came all this way and you're just gonna blow us off?"    

Jc chuckles bitterly and shakes his head. "And who the hell are you?"    

"Lucas Dawson. I'm a friend of Madison's." He extends his hand and smiles politely. "I think you should hear her out."    

Jc eyes Lucas critically and steps out onto the porch. "Fine. Five minutes."    

"God... Jace... I'm so fucking sorry." I breathe, the tears quickly forming in my eyes. "I know I was wrong... and you have no idea how bad I feel about everything. But... I really needed the time away... I was... I was so miserable, and I know I brought it on myself, but I had to get out. I know you probably hate me, but I swear... I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you."    

"You came here just to apologize?" He arches an eyebrow at me and shakes his head. "There's this nifty little device called a phone Madison."    

"You would have hung up on me and you know it." I smile. I think I may have just cracked him a little.    

"Probably." He nods. "So... what's this about?"    

"Well... Lucas and I have this band..."    

"No. No fucking way." He cuts me off, shaking his head angrily. "After the shit you put me through, you have the nerve to come crawling back here, asking for my fucking help? Are you insane?"    

"Well... yeah, but you already knew that." I joke, but it does nothing to erase the fury in his eyes. "Look... I knew I was taking a risk coming here, and I won't be the least bit surprised if you tell me to go straight to hell. That's better than what I'd deserve, actually. If you aren't interested... that's fine, but I'd atleast like to leave here knowing we're on good terms. Whether you believe it or not, I really do miss you Jace."    

"Look man... put your personal shit aside and just listen to our demo. We came to you because Madison thinks you're the best there is. You don't want to help us out, fine. But atleast give us a shot. You already know this chick could sing the fucking phone book and turn it into gold. Our number at the hotel's in there." Lucas nods and grabs me by the elbow, leading me away from the house.    

I look back to see Jc shoot us one last scowl before he steps into the house, slamming the door behind him.     

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I screech as we climb into the car. "Damnit Lucas.... you can't do that shit! Do you have any idea what I put him through? I cost him his fucking job and coming back here was a big deal! I can't just be all 'here's my demo' and fucking leave!"    

"If he's as good as you say he is... he'll call us by midnight." Lucas nods confidently.     

"No, he won't. Trust me...I know him a hell of a lot better than you do. What you just did pissed him off even more. You fucking blew it."    

"Madison... someone who take this shit seriously is going to be objective. He's going to put all your personal bullshit aside, listen to that demo, realize it's fucking awesome and call us."    

"Ok Mr. Optimistic... we'll fucking see about that." I mutter and pull away from the curb.    

Some part of me knew that bringing Lucas was a horrible idea. He's far too outspoken and stubborn to have just stood there. I should have made his ass stay in the car.     

Sure, knowing that Jace is just going to toss our demo into the trash without a second thought sucks, but what really stings is knowing that there's absolute no way to repair our friendship. Especially after the bullshit Lucas just pulled.    

Getting this band off the ground is going to be a thousand times harder than I thought.

****************    

I glance at the clock and frown.     

11:50.    

Lucas swore to me that Jc would call before midnight and thanks to my own stupidity, I started to believe him. I refuse to say it out loud, but part of me was praying that phone would ring and Jc would be raving about the demo.     

But, I knew this would happen. Just as I suspected before, I guarantee he threw the damn thing out.    

Can you blame him, really? I probably would have done the same exact thing.    

"He call yet?" Lucas asks as he steps out of the bathroom, running a towel through his wet hair.     

"Of course not. I told you, he's not going to."    

"He'll call." He nods and stretches out on the other bed. "You really need to learn to be more positive. You're kind of a downer."    

"I'm realistic."    

"Yeah well... realism sucks."    

11:59.    

He's not calling. I know he's not.    

I was stupid to even hope for it.     

12:00.    

"Told you dipshit." I mutter and flip the light out.         

I know I can't be mad at Lucas for this, but he let me get my hopes up, therefore, it's his fault.     

"Alright fine... I was a little off on the timing, but he'll call."    

"Whatever. Our flight's at 10 tomorrow. Night."    

"Oh come on... you can't seriously be pissed at me cause that fucker didn't show."    

"I'm not mad Lucas. Just go to sleep. Jesus Christ."    

I may have a crush, but he drives me fucking crazy. He always has to have the last word and he's always, always a smart ass about it. He can't ever just leave well enough alone.     

"I'm not tired, you care if I watch TV?"    

"Do whatever you want." I mutter, knowing full well that if the TV's on, I won't be getting any damn sleep.     

Honestly, it's not even the band stuff I'm upset about.     

The whole flight here, my main goal was to patch things up with Jc and I've done a real bang up job of that. I guess I should have seen it coming. He tried to tell me there'd be no going back from what I did to him. I was just too damn stubborn to listen.     

12:15.    

Lucas continues to flip channels, muttering to himself and suddenly, it hits me just how bad I feel about this.    

This was our big chance. This was supposed to be our foot in the door to bigger and better things and I blew it, long before I even met him.     

Funny how your past can come back and bite you in the ass.     

12:45.    

I jump slightly at the sound of a soft knock on the door and look around. Lucas is passed out on his bed, the television still on, casting a weird glow around the room.     

I crawl out of bed and pad to the door. So help me god, if it's housekeeping, I may end up strangling someone.  I look out the peephole and my jaw damn near hits the floor.    

Holy fucking shit.     

I fumble with the locks a little and finally jerk the door open. I rub my eyes tiredly and stare at him, still surprised as hell that he's actually here.    

"Jace..."    

"Can we talk?"    

"Yeah... yeah, come on in." I smile as he steps into the room awkwardly.    

"What the shit... oh, hey man." Lucas grins sleepily, but I don't miss the triumphant look in his eyes.     

"Alright... I listened to it." Jc sighs and plants himself on the couch across from the beds. "And it's good... really fucking good, actually."    

"Thanks man, glad you think so." Lucas grins, shooting me the most cocky 'I told you so' look he can manage.     

"But... as much as I'd like to put my personal feelings to the side, I can't do that." He frowns and Lucas's smile begins to fade quickly. "Madison... I think you and I need to talk about some things." He gives me a pointed look before his eyes cut to Lucas, then back to me.    

"I can go in the other room or something..."    

"Why bother? you'll still be listening."    

"Good point." He smirks. "I'll keep my mouth shut though, promise."   

"Well..." Jc sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Like I said... that demo was damn good. If it was up to me and there were no issues, I'd sign you guys here and now. But Madison... you have to know why I've got mixed feelings about this. Number one... I'm still pretty damn mad about everything. You put me out of work after everything I did for you... you had no problem walking away from it, like it didn't fucking matter. And,my biggest concern is, how do I know you're not going to do the same again? What if I get you guys signed, you take off and suddenly you decide it's too much again? I put my neck on the line for you once already Madison... I can't afford to have it all thrown back in my face again."    

"Jace... I swear to you, it fucking killed me to leave. I almost stayed... just for your benefit. But I was already so miserable and it would have gotten a thousand times worse if I'd stayed. I am so, so sorry, you really have no idea how sorry. But I just couldn't do it anymore. I was fucking drowning."    

"I get it... I really do. But, it doesn't change what happened." He shrugs.   

"I know, but I swear Jace... I will make it up to you. I've got a really good feeling about this band. It's not just me up there this time... I know I can make this work."    

"We'll see." He shrugs again. "And I know this has all the potential in the world to come back and bite me in the ass, but I'm not stupid enough to pass something like this up. So, I'll come out to the next show and we'll go from there. It's a ten to one bet that I can get you guys signed. But, I'm not working on my own anymore. I'm at a new label and before this goes any further, you should probably know who..."    

"Oh my god Jace... it doesn't matter!" I squeal and lunge for him, wrapping my arms tight around his neck. "I'm gonna make this work... I swear I am."    

"I sincerely hope so... otherwise, I may have to kill you." He chuckles and shakes his head.    

I know getting him to trust me again is gonna take a lot of work, but atleast I'm on the right track. And, as a bonus I seem to have just started the process of getting this band off the ground.    

Lucas gives Jc the details of our next show, numbers are exchanged and Jace finally leaves, close to four am.    

"Holy shit." Lucas breathes as he closes the door softly behind Jc. "I owe you like you would not believe."    

"Eh... it was nothing."    

"Madison... that was fucking something. I don't know what happened with you all, but obviously some shit went down. It took a lot for you to do this, I know it did."    

"I've been through worse."    

"I don't care... just let me say thanks, will ya?" He chuckles and I look up to find his face inches away from mine.    

Oh shit.    

I swallow hard and try to look anywhere but at him. Unfortunately for me, it's not working out so well.    

"Oh... ok." I nod dumbly.    

"Thank you." He whispers, a broad grin breaking out across his face. "I've been busting my ass the last ten years, trying to get this to go somewhere. You have no idea what this means to me." He cocks his head to the side and stares at me intently.    

Does he have to be so god damn close? I mean come on... hasn't he ever heard of the personal bubble?    

"This is making you nervous, isn't it? Me being this close?"    

Damnit.    

Why the hell is he able to read me so well? It really isn't very fair.    

"N-no." I stutter, mentally cursing myself. "Why... why would it make me nervous?"    

"You tell me." He smirks and leans forward to rest his forehead against mine.    

Well shit.    

I could tell him exactly why this makes me so damn nervous and risk embarrassing the hell out of myself, or tell him to kiss my ass and go to sleep.    

Both options are going to leave me disappointed, so does it really matter which way I go?    

"It's late Lucas... I need to get some sleep."    

"Hang on a sec." He grins as his hands settle on my hips, holding me in place.    

He stares at me for what feels like hours before he suddenly moves again and his lips capture mine.    

Shit, shit, shit.    

If I learned anything from Fleetwood Mac, it's that you don't screw around with your band mates, no matter how badly you want to.    

But, instead of pushing him away, my arms slide around his neck and I pull myself closer to him.    

I knew this trip was a bad idea. I should have just used the damn phone.