chapter 10
I was shaking as Justin and I drove back to Tommy's mansion in silence. Justin was beyond angry with me and I was afraid for what my repercussions were going to be.
I shouldn't have danced with Justin. I should have ran off, I should have just ran out of that fucking club. Screamed for help ... anything.
I had set up my own death.
I squeezed my eyes tight, hoping we would never reach our destination. My hair was whipping around by my face and my tears were dangerously close to falling. I refused to cry though, I refused to shed my pride for these psychos.
Glancing at Justin, you could see how angry he was. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were fixated at the road. His knuckles were white from gripping the wheel with such a force that I had no idea how he was driving straight.
Usually when you clutch the wheel tightly when you drive it makes the car swerve more, or so said my driving instructor when I learned how to drive.
"Justin what's going to happen to me?" I finally asked and received no answer. The bastard was ignoring me.
That couldn't be right. I didn't do anything wrong! All I did was try to get my fucking freedom back!!
"Justin talk to me!!"
"Now why should I do that?" He hissed back at me, still staring ahead. "You choose not to listen to what I said. Why the hell should I listen to you?
"Because you’re an understanding, great, sexy man and I'm sorry..."
Justin rolled his eyes for a moment and then pulled over to the side of the road.
"I don't know what Tommy's going to do...I told him to calm down first but he's really angry...as am I."
"But Justin...put yourself in my place ... wouldn't you try to get out if you were kidnapped?"
"Yeah but ... you used me..."
"No I didn't!" I replied defensively. The dirty blonde haired male rolled his eyes at me.
"There’s nothing I hate more than when someone lies to me. You know you never had feelings for me and this whole time you used me.."
"That’s not true... I mean... I don't know." I sighed and looked away from Justin, feeling guilty. "This really isn't easy for me or fair. I didn't do anything wrong, your the one that kidnapped me!"
"I know...and I know you hate me for it but I'm not sorry about it. I'm glad I took you with me the day of the robbery. I'm glad I got to know you and I'm glad I got to fall in love with you..."
WHAT?! HE LOVED ME?!
This was crazy. FUCK! This couldn't be happening to me. He couldn't love me.
But he did and oh dear God. Why me? I mean sure, Justin was a really nice guy, but HE COULDN'T LOVE ME!!!
My stomach started to go crazy and I really thought I was going to vomit right there. I just stared at him blankly while I tried to gather my composer.
"You don't love me Justin..."
"But I do. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. Natalia, you know my story, you know the pain I've been through, but I'm gonna be honest with you. These last 3 weeks with you have been the happiest of my life. You make me happy."
I gnawed at the skin on my nail, not able to believe what was happening. Why? That’s all I kept asking myself. Why did I always get the wrong men to love me and under the worst circumstances.
"But I'm going to leave soon and we'll never see each other again. You have to forget this..."
He shook his head and reached out for my hand, placing a small kiss on it.
"I don't want to forget this. The feeling you give me is too good. Natalia, I can't let you get away from me."
"You’re going to have to Justin...when I leave... I don't want to think about this experience ever again. I'm going to erase this from my mind and never look back..."
Justin looked at me, obviously hurt. How did he expect me to react? Did he really think I would jump into his arms and love him back?
I couldn't go against my family and everything I believed to be right.
He didn't say anything else; he just started the car up again and headed off to the mansion. I tried not to look at him for the rest of the ride.
I did feel guilty, because of course there was something inside me that did feel for him and did want him. There was a part of me that was so angry with myself for not telling him anything and for not thanking him for being so wonderful to me.
Justin was my rock throughout the whole trial, and I was indeed very thankful to him. But I couldn't become Hope. As much as I adored her, I didn't want to live her life.
**
I walked behind Justin as we entered Tommy's mansion. My heart was pounding in my chest. I had never seen the house this late at night.
Everything was dark except for the moonlight that cascaded through the huge windows. It gave the house an almost eerie effect. I swear i was expecting to see a fucking ghost to pop out.
"Where are we going?"
"To Tommy's office." Justin replied coldly.
He was mad at me. God. He was being unreasonable and certainly wasn't putting himself in my place.
Why did he have to be so stubborn?! Why was everyone making me feel like I was the bad guy? I wasn't! God damnit, why couldn't anyone see that all of this wasn't fucking easy for me?!
We headed into Tommy's Tony Montana replica office which made me mentally laugh every time I walked in. Did the Irish bastard really think he was Tony Montana? Hell he could just as well be but it was still really funny.
My smile faded when I saw Tommy drinking a double shot of vodka with Hope at his side. She seemed like she was trying to calm him, I was sure he would probably kill me, but definitely not in front of her.
"Natalia...Justin.... nice of you to finally join us." Tommy finished the last of his liquor and motioned to Hope to get another bottle.
"Sorry...it was my fault..." Justin said, trying to cover my ass as usual. But Tommy raised his hand and stopped Justin.
"Like hell it was your fault. This bitch has been nothing but trouble since she's gotten here. But she won't be any trouble anymore."
"Tommy... what the fuck are you talking about?" Justin glared at him and Tommy shook his head. He had started laughing and poured himself another double shot.
"I'm not gonna kill her you prick. But the little bitch is going to pay for what she did. Until her Uncle pays up she's staying in that room and not coming out. The balcony will be locked and off limits." Tommy quickly downed his drink again and pulled Hope onto his lap.
"That’s reasonable." Justin replied but Tommy shook his head, a smirk on his face.
"But I'm not finished. No one is to go see her. Not you or Hope or JC. She will be in confinement until its time for her to leave."
"You can't do that!!" I spoke up, protesting to Tommy's decision. Hope just stayed silent and stared at the floor.
"Oh but I can and I will. I told you this stay could be pleasant for you or it could be hell. You chose to defy me and now it will be hell. Now get the hell out of my sight."
"NO!!" I screamed, even though I knew nothing would change Tommy's mind. Justin grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room while the tears threatened to fall down my face.
We headed up to the room and I tried to stop the motion. Almost something a child would do. I grabbed onto the banister of the staircase, refusing to let go.
"Nat, come on...don't make this more difficult than it is."
"I'm not going!!!"
"You have to. Neither of us have a choice in this. Just go, it'll be easier on the both of us..."
"It'll be easy on you but it won't on me. NONE OF THIS WAS EASY FOR ME!!!" I let go of the banister, clenching my hand into a fist. "You expect me to love you and to let you into my life... that’s bullshit. You don't know me...and you don't love me. You're keeping me a prisoner...if you loved me, you'd want me to be free and to be happy." I shook my head and breezed past him to my room.
I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. I grabbed a set of pajamas and locked myself in the bathroom. That night would be the last night I saw anyone for a long time.
