“I don’t like it.”

“What, you’d prefer it if he was over here being an ass?”

“He is an ass, it’s his natural state.”

“I don’t disagree with you but he has shown no signs of coming over here, he hasn’t been a dick to anybody, and he actually followed through and got you your money back which must have made your credit card very happy. Maybe you should just accept that he’s attempting maturity for once in his life and enjoy it while it lasts.”

Nadine was trying not to roll her eyes or show her impatience, but it was difficult. Reese would not stop yapping about her least favourite person in the world and it was getting very dull. Nadine didn’t like talking about Justin Timberlake at the best of times; when she was at a party trying to enjoy herself was the last occasion she wanted to chat about it. It was hard to believe Reese these days when she claimed not to care - people who didn’t care had better things to talk about. It was reaching the level of self-absorption and it was getting to the point where she didn’t want to socialise with her any more.

“I just know he’s up to something. The sting’ll come later.” Reese tossed her hair back behind her shoulder and shook her head.

Her eyes kept flicking over to her ex fiancé, waiting for the approach she knew would come. They’d been at the cookout for about two hours now and he hadn’t gone anywhere near her, he was doing the rounds socialising, but she knew the reprieve could only be temporary. No matter what he’d said to her in the store she knew full well that he couldn’t resist torturing her. For some reason he liked to prove that he still wielded influence in her life. On more than one occasion before he’d started off being reasonable, she’d got her hopes up that he was going to be civil but then he’d gone and hit her with the whammy. There was no way she was letting her guard down now.

“Whatever,” Nadine replied. “Did Drake say when he’d get here?”

“He texted to say he’s wiped and he’ll probably go straight home. Said to have fun without him. God, I wish Trace would leave him for two God damned seconds so I could go say hi.”

She’d tried. That was another hope of relief gone. Drake’s presence would have at least ensured they stopped talking about the pop star but that was now out. Nadine picked at a loose thread on her shirt, wondering which change of topic she could make that would actually stick this time. The wedding would work but she was fairly bored of that subject too. She couldn’t wait until it was over and she got her best friend back, the one who was actually interested in other people’s lives.

“I need to go to the bathroom so I’ll be back.”

Well, if Nadine couldn’t change the topic she could go and subtly get ‘distracted’ by somebody else on her way back from the facilities. That would work.

There was some little part of Reese’s mind that knew she was being obsessive and irritating. Unfortunately it was buried under a lot of indignation and bruised pride. Perhaps it had been a mistake attending, but she had been determined not to let Justin’s presence stop her. Heck, she had a much better claim to the nostalgia aspect of the evening than he did; he’d barely been around for high school. For a while she’d worried that people would stare between them, waiting for some show down, but that fear had quickly been allayed. She seemed to be the only person who cared - at least outwardly, because no matter what Nadine said she knew Justin would not be able to restrain himself for long. If he hadn’t been able to resist picking on her at her own engagement party there was no way he’d be able to resist this occasion of all occasions.

Even so, there was something reassuring about the familiar scene. Everybody was a little older, had a little more paunch on them. The women were wearing more sensible shoes. Still they all looked the same. The kegs and red solo cups were the same. The smoke and meat smell of the grill still lingered pleasantly in the air and somebody had managed to dig out the same tired looking decorations. Even the music was still firmly stuck in their high school days. She was surrounded by the people she’d grown up with and the reason she was so tetchy was probably her resentment at feeling like it was all tainted. One of the two people who’d been by her side had turned out to be somebody she didn’t know at all. The memory could no longer be trusted, even though at the same time it brought her comfort. It confused her and she did not react well to being confused.

When her phone went off she answered without thinking, assuming it would be Drake.

“Hi.”

“Reese? Hi, it’s Tiffany.”

“Tiff… oh my God, hey!” That was a surprise. “How you been?”

“Good, good. Umm, I’m really sorry to call you out of the blue like this…”

“Lord don’t be sorry, it’s great to hear from you! Just a little surprised is all.”

Tiffany was a Los Angeles friend. Very few of her Los Angeles friends had been spoken to more than a couple of times since she had abruptly departed. She liked their Facebook statuses and made encouraging comments, sent the odd text, but the friendships had gone from very close to superficial practically overnight. It wasn’t that she didn’t love them; their lives had just very drastically diverged from each other. They were unlikely to come to Tennessee for visits, there was no way she was going to LA to see them, and the friendships had naturally dwindled as a result. Their lives were so different now that they didn’t have a huge amount to talk about other than their shared history.

“Yeah, umm…”

“Tiff?” Now she was worried. That tone and that pause were definitely not good.

“I’m sorry, I…” It was painfully obvious she was choked up, and Reese’s heart was sinking deeper with every word. “There’s no way to ease into this, I… I was calling to tell you that Harmony was in an accident and she’s… she passed away.”

Reese clapped a trembling hand over her mouth to keep from crying out and drawing attention to herself. A couple of sharp breaths in were needed before she could speak. “Oh my God. What happened?”

“They skidded to avoid something on the freeway and hit the barrier. Steve got out with a broken leg but she hit her head. I just wanted to call and let you know, I’m helping her mom call round everyone. The funeral’s on Tuesday, do you think you could make it sweetie?”

“Oh, I…”

That was a question. She doubted her boss would even notice she was gone, but even after Justin giving her those savings back the airfare would be a bitch to cover with so many wedding expenses on her plate. That was before she even started on the emotional minefield that would be returning to those people she’d walked out on, and under these circumstances. Was she up to this?

“Let me find out if I can get off work.”

That was a cop out and she knew it. The boss wouldn’t care, her parents would loan her the money. The only actual question was whether she had the guts to go.

**

“You know, it’s kind of lame to sneak out of a party where you’re the guest of honour.”

“I’m kind of sick of being the guest of honour,” Justin whined as they finished the climb up to their spot. “The whole point of coming home is that everybody’s known me forever and isn’t supposed to give a shit.”

“Oh poor baby.” Reese rolled her eyes. “People just want to catch up, it’s not like they put out a red carpet for you.”

“It’s frickin’ exhausting. I can’t turn around without somebody else being all over me and having to do the whole peppy chat thing. I came here to relax, for fuck’s sake.”

“Jesus Christ, when did you get so damn grouchy? It’s a cookout not a launch party!”

“Ahhh, I’m sorry peanut.” He dropped his head to her shoulder briefly before squeezing her arm. “I’m just tired. Don’t think I anticipated how much more work it is when it’s just me. I figured I still had to do all the interviews and all the shows in the group so solo shouldn’t be any different, you know? But somehow it’s just… more. And I know it’s nice that people want to hail the conquering hero and all but honestly I’d rather chill with you and Trace. I feel like in the last couple of months I have small talked every damn person from here to DC and I’m out of inanities. My brain is just burned out right now.”

“Eh, I guess I get that.” Reese dropped onto the grass and folded her legs under herself. “I felt a little like that during all those mixers my first week. Felt more like freshman year of college all over again than a graduate program.”

“Whereas now after your first month you’re an old pro?” He teased as he sat down next to her. Where she sat lotus style, he sprawled out propped up on his elbows and stretching his legs in front.

“Eh, LA’s not so big once you get used to it.” She shrugged. “Besides, I kind of had to get good at it since when I finally got to move into the same city as my best pals they both blew straight of town to go jet set and I needed new friends. I can take a hint, you know.”

“Hey, first chance I get I’m finding you some place on my staff so you can come with. I missed ya.” Justin sat back up and threw an arm around her shoulders.

A chestnut head of hair came to rest on his shoulder and Reese burrowed in beneath his arm. A waft of her raspberry scented shampoo hit his nose. It was a pleasantly warm night; they were both clad in shorts and t-shirts. The stars were out and for a few minutes they sat quietly watching them. Justin had always found it refreshing that he didn’t necessarily need to talk when he was with Reese. He also found it refreshing that while she understood his fame and supported his career she wouldn’t take any bull from him about it. She would tell him if he was getting too big for his boots but equally she didn’t dismiss his problems as some kind of rich boy stupidity. Other people did that sometimes, like his issues were invalid because he had money – as if that was supposed to make his life perfect.

It was hard to find the same understanding from people outside the business, and he valued it even more because it came from somebody who had been there before the fame. His circle of trust was pretty small these days; a lot of people couldn’t be allowed in it unless they had equal amounts to lose. There weren’t a lot of people who were in there purely because he knew they’d rather die than sell him out. Trace was one, Reese was another. After the rollercoaster of the last year he’d been ecstatic to know that she was finally reuniting the trio by heading out to LA as well. It was a sign of his life settling back down.

He really had missed her. He’d found himself leaning a lot on Reese in the past months. Maybe it was because she wasn’t physically there - she wasn’t involved in the petty day to day annoyances of his life, had no personal stake in them. They communicated by phone and e-mail mostly, but somehow she’d felt like his secret back up.  The girl was always there with a sympathetic ear and always on his side. When he had so many people clamouring for his time and attention or telling him what he should or shouldn’t do, having someone so unconditionally Team Justin had been an invaluable source of strength. She wasn’t blowing up his phone every five minutes demanding his attention like some, but if he called her she picked up. The flip side of her honesty was that he knew when she was telling him off then he really had screwed up, but that was constructive even if painful.

Sometimes he relied on her a little too much for his own good.  He could admit it; sometimes he’d been jealous of her previous boyfriends. He liked being the number one guy in her life (Trace might have objected to that assessment, but it was true Justin was that little bit closer with Reese). He’d also occasionally caused trouble in his own relationship by going OTT on occasions like Reese’s birthday or when she came out to visit. The jealousy was unfounded but girlfriends tended to resent the competition. They had something of a point. It was only natural he supposed - when you were friends with such an attractive girl you did at least notice and have the hots a little, even if it didn’t ever happen. He’d thought about it more than once, and if Reese had ever shown some sign of reciprocation… it was a moot point though. Being his best friend was enough.

“Hey, full moon.” She pointed up at the sky.

“Heh.” Justin’s eyes flicked up. “Hadn’t even noticed. Do you remember when we used to sneak out here with Sam’s telescope claiming we could see Mars?”

Reese snorted with laughter. “Like we had any fucking idea where anything was. Moon was about the only thing we could find.”

“Well it’s a marvellous night for a moondance…” He started to croon, to which her response was an elbow in the ribs. “With the stars up above in your eye…”

“You are such a cheese ball.”

“A fantabulous night to make romance…” He leaned right into her ear and put on his best baritone, sweeping his hand smoothly out in front of them as if to show off the view from the hill. “Neath the cover of October skies…”

“It’s July, moron, and your damn stage act don’t work on me. I can’t believe girls lap that shit up.”

“All except you. Why are you so immune to my charms?”

“Maybe because I met you.”

Reese couldn’t quite look Justin in the eye when she said that. She’d actually had a crush on him for some considerable time, probably since high school graduation. It had never gone anywhere. He’d got into a relationship and she hadn’t waited around. Nobody ever quite matched up, but she knew that was because she was judging unfairly. She couldn’t expect every guy to have known her all her life.

“That hurts, peanut.”

“I’m sure the hordes will soothe your ego.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I care more what you think than all of those thousands upon thousands of girls who worship me.”

He hadn’t intended to sound quite so serious. He’d meant to imply that she was the idiot for not meeting popular consensus - not that she was right.  It was wholly true however; Justin cared an awful lot about Reese’s opinion of him. Whenever he made a misstep in the press she was usually the first person he asked about it. Any time she agreed that it was him rather than the journalist at fault it plagued him for several days after. His publicist would kill for that level of influence over his behaviour.

“Yeah, right. Why would you?”

If his reply had been a little too serious then hers was definitely much too serious. He didn’t like it. He tapped her chin with his index finger, tweaking it affectionately. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I was just kidding!”

“No you weren’t. Which is horse shit, by the way, don’t you know how important you are to me?”

“Shut up…” She started squirming under his arm, her cheeks going red.

“Don’t get all coy about it. You know I give way more of a shit about your opinion than a bunch of randoms.”

“Come on, Justin, you knew what I meant. You don’t care thaaaaat way, the moooooondance way.”

Once again her attempt to play it off failed to deter him. “How do you know?”

Reese didn’t particularly appreciate this line of joking. She’d come to terms with being the only one carrying a torch, but there had been times at which being unrequited while he was happily ensconced elsewhere was very painful. Equally sometimes it was hard to be the friend he relied on so much, knowing that was all she was. She had dealt with it but that didn’t mean she appreciated the reminder.

“I tend to assume that if a guy hasn’t made a move after, oh, four years? It’s a big hint that he’s not gonna.”

Her tone was much more successfully jokey that time. Still it was too late, she’d already set him on the tangent. Justin sat back a little so he could get a better look at her face. They’d known each other a lot longer than four years. That seemed like a weird number to choose… unless she was referring to something else. Something more specific to the subject.

“You sayin’ you been waitin’ on me to?”

Reese tried not to cringe and give the game away any further. That had been a big slip, letting on just how long she’d had a thing for him.

“Because…” It was entirely possible he was about to ruin his friendship, but sometimes if it was worth the having it was worth the try. “If I’d ever thought for a second you were then the wait would have been over.”

Reese felt like she was on fire. Hot pins and needles jabbed painfully at her skin and she was twitching nervously to get rid of the pent up energy that was building. It didn’t help, his grip just tightened. “You’re not funny.”

“Wasn’t trying to be, peanut, I mean it. So were you?”

Emotionally speaking it was like running straight into a wall. All the air crashed out of her lungs and she couldn’t gather her wits to speak. Half of her still suspected he was pulling her leg – he could be very deadpan - and that she would wreck everything if she confirmed his theory. But… he said he meant it. What did that mean if all this time he’d liked her back and she’d never spotted the signs?

“Yeah.” She called his bluff. “I was.”

He was true to his word – the wait was immediately over. His hands were in her hair, his lips were on hers, and it couldn’t have got any more like a rom com unless fireworks had started going off.

**

Reese hadn’t taken any notice of where her feet were guiding her. When she’d hung up with Tiffany they had simply turned and walked her out of the party. They seemed to know where they were going, so why worry? The smell of the trees and the slight coolness of the fresh air were the only thing keeping her calm. Stopping to wonder where she was going was mental energy she couldn’t spare. Her brain was too focused on Los Angeles.

Her hands were stuffed tightly into the pockets of her jeans and she was gnawing on her lower lip. There wasn’t anything for it. She would have to go, unless she wanted to be the world’s worst friend. How could she though? Her previous life had started to feel like a fantasy world, some un-reality she’d never been part of. How she was supposed to deal with that while being there for her friends and not making the whole thing about her she had no idea. Drake wouldn’t be able to come with her – he’d offer but they couldn’t afford both of them taking time out – and neither would Nadine. She distrusted her ability to hold it together by herself and she was dreading it, but she didn’t see how she could in good conscience decline to go. Harmony had been a good friend to her, and so had everybody else there who would need her support. It was selfish not to.

Even the slight shortness of breath as she’d hit the incline hadn’t alerted her to where she was headed, but the familiar sound of singing did. As she’d reached the top she’d finally been able to hear it. It was mumbled and half hearted but its familiarity punched through nonetheless. It stopped her in her tracks.

“Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love…”

“Dude, why you singing?” Trace asked irritably.

Justin was shuffling back and forth from foot to foot, head bowed and pointed towards the grass. Where he looked sad and listless Trace looked wound up and tense. He was slumped on the grass with his gaze directed out over the tops of the trees. Though at first the pose looked casual, there was an unmistakeable tightness in his back and shoulders beneath his t-shirt. In comparison Justin’s demeanour was more of a weary slouch.

“It... never mind, sorry.” Justin had never told Trace how many romantic interludes the spot had seen lest he get grossed out. It had always belonged to the three of them and not him and Reese as a pair, so there was always an element of weird naughtiness to befouling the place with smoochy stuff. Since they had just been talking about her though the memories had sprung forth. “Guess I’m trying to distract myself.”

“Sorry, no, I’m just…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. You get ornery when you don’t know what to do.”

Some people would have been annoyed by that kind of comment. Trace simply nodded. He pulled his cap off his head and scratched at his scalp, a morose expression falling over his face. His lips pinched together.

“I mean, do we… do we tell her?”

“I think by ‘we’ you probably mean ‘you.’ Don’t think she needs to hear this kind of shit from me, I’ll only upset her before I’ve even opened my mouth to tell her.”

“I just… she hates talking about LA anyway and she’s already got all this wedding shit going on. I don’t want to be the one to stress her out more.”

“I know,” Justin said, “but can you imagine how upset she’d be if she missed the chance to go? We got to give her the option.”

In that moment Reese completely forgot how angry she was at Justin. Instead she rushed forward and nearly scared the two of them to death. When they’d heard the footsteps the last person they’d expected was her. Yet they turned around and there she was, the familiar brown boots poking out from beneath her jeans. Evidently she’d been crying, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to assume that their discussion was redundant.

“Did you hear? About Harmony and Steve?”

“Yeah,” Justin replied. There was softness in his tone that she hadn’t heard from him in a very long time. “I’m so sorry, peanut.”

She didn’t notice the nickname. It was like everything else had fallen away, and she was just that girl again. She was that girl at that spot with those two boys. They were together, her name was ‘peanut’ and nothing had changed.

“I just… God I barely even talked to them lately, except to bug them about their RSVP. I can’t believe she’s gone and the last thing I said to her was probably ‘chicken or fish.’ God…” Her hand rubbed fretfully at her forehead, and when Justin’s settled on her shoulder she didn’t even shrug it off.

“The funeral’s Tuesday.” Trace ventured. “We’re getting the jet back Sunday.”

“Yeah, I need to fix getting out there and a hotel and stuff… God I hadn’t even managed to think about all that yet. Jesus.” Her index finger went to her eye, ineffectually smoothing away tears. Practicalities had paled into significance against the shock.

“You don’t need to worry about any of that, we got you covered. We’ll pick you up at eight on Sunday.”

A little bit of usual proceedings started to creep back in as she gave him a pointed look. “Come on.”

“I’m serious.” Justin persisted. “Our friend died, Reese, the least I can do is help you get to the funeral. I’m not letting you waste your money on that when I got a plane and an empty estate. If you’re worried about it being weird the guest house should still be minimum safe distance for you.”

“You know if this is some excuse to…”

“Jesus Christ, really!"

Justin didn’t let her finish.  He shook his head, his arms folding defensively over his chest. Exploding was probably not the smartest reaction but Lord, he was fed up of this. He was really fed up of her acting like he was some born and raised monster.

“I know I hurt you and I know we’ve both had our dukes up with each other, but don’t you fucking know me better? I fucked up but that doesn’t mean you have to rewrite me into this bastard who was just evil all along, like I’d use somebody’s death to screw with you! You’ve known me all my God damned life, you were fucking closer to me than anybody so why don’t you know I’m not that guy?! Our friend died and you’re upset and I just want to do something to make it easier! Is it really so fucking hard to believe that I only want to help?”

Reese took in a breath and was about to let rip, but she was once again interrupted.

“Come on, Reese,” Trace said. “You know he’s right. This is bigger than the shit that happened between you two so don’t make it harder on yourself just to make a point, you’re not that petty. He’s trying to be nice - let him.”

Luckily there was some tiny voice in the back of her head that knew her friend was right, even if the voices screaming that Justin had no right to lecture her were louder. Being so used to hostility with Justin didn’t mean that he had to be trying to get another one over on her this time. It was pretty stupid to cost herself so much money for the sake of a couple of days. It was true enough that the guest house was well away from the main house, she wouldn’t even have to see him except for the plane ride. Cutting off her nose would not spite her ex-fiancé’s face and in any event, Trace would be there to keep him in check.

“Sorry, sorry,” she muttered, pushing a shaky hand through her hair. “I  just… I don’t know where my head is right now.”

“That’s fine,” Trace replied. “So long as your ass is on your porch at eight am on Sunday ready to go.”