“Hello?”

“Hey honey. How are you?”

“Hey Nade. What’s up, how you doing?”

“Umm, I asked first. Don’t think you can dodge me like that young lady.”

Reese rolled her eyes from behind her sunglasses and moved the phone cord out of the way of the gear shift. She’d plugged it into one of the car’s many outlets to charge then nearly died of fright when it started ringing through the stereo. She’d forgotten that Justin had some fancy in car speaker. These days it was a novelty to have a car with central locking, never mind one that took your calls and gave you directions.

“I’m fine.”

“I believe you, thousands wouldn’t. What ya doing?”

“Sitting in traffic on my way to lunch with the girls, trying to remember how to work this damn car. It’s making me miss Dean’s truck.”

“Oh that’s nice, having a catch up. I mean, I know the circumstances aren’t nice, but…” Nadine cringed, wondering how she’d already succeeded in putting her foot in her mouth. “You know what I mean, I know you haven’t seen them in a while but it should be good to see them.”

“To be honest I wasn’t really looking to see them ‘til tomorrow, since we’ll be with each other all day, but Tiffany called and Justin basically told me I was putting a dent in his couch. So, lunch.”

“What, like the fucker kicked you out?” Her friend sounded indignant on her behalf.

“No, he wasn’t being a douche for once. As much as I hate to be fair to the bastard, I’ve pretty much been sitting on his couch like a motionless lump since we got here. He said he could hear me thinking too much and it would be good for me to get out of the place.”

Knowing Reese that was probably an astute and helpful observation on his part, but Nadine couldn’t bring herself to credit Justin Timberlake for anything. As much as she tried to be a bigger person some things were asking too much. She only had so much good will to spare and none of it had been on offer to that guy even before the big drama. There was no particular reason for that. Some people simply had bad chemistry; she thought he was conceited and he thought she was abrasive. It was a pure personality clash. Once upon  time there was forced civility for the sake of their mutual loved one, but then he’d done the dirty and given her the excuse she needed to let rip.

“Well, okay. Won’t add it to the list of things I need to punch him for. How’s it been otherwise, he behaving?”

“It’s awkward as all hell but yeah, he’s been civil. Couple of occasions he’s even been kind of nice, which in a weird way scares me more than when he’s getting his asshole on. Honestly though he hasn’t even been the weirdest part, I just feel so… it’s like I just stepped outside for a minute but my life is still exactly where I left it, not like I’ve been gone a year. Except for Harmony. Everything’s all kind of the same but not and my head is not in the place to process that.”

That was playing on her mind the closer she got to the restaurant. She wasn’t far now, only a couple of streets away, but the traffic was buying her a little more time to try and calm herself. These people were her friends and they loved her - yet right now she’d prefer to take her chances with a firing squad.

“That’s understandable, sweetie. It’s the first time you’ve been back there.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s okay, really, I know I’ll find my feet as soon as I see the girls. Anyway, never mind me, how are you? I miss y’all.”

“Good, I put my application in for the team leader role and I think I’m the only one so far, so hopefully I can get an uncontested run. But I actually I just came away from the florist with Drake which was why I called you, just to say the wedding train keeps on rollin’ and the to do list remains on track.”

“I love you.”

“You should; I’m way too nice to you. Oh, Drake had to go back to work but since I was calling anyway, he said to ask you where his good black shirt is?”

Reese chuckled, smiling at the dashboard as if it was Nadine herself. “Didn’t know he owned one. I thought he had like two white dress shirts and a whole lot of flannel.”

Nadine snorted, hoisting her bag back over her shoulder as she walked along. Since she was picking up the wedding slack for Reese while she was in LA, she still had two more appointments to get to on her lunch break. “Your boy needs some variety in his wardrobe.”

“I’ll work on it. What else is Christmas for if not a subtle way to readjust your husband’s dress sense?”

“Thank God for tux rental or he’d have nothin’ to go with the big white dress. Listen, I got to run honey but are you sure you’re okay?”

Reese’s fingers tapped against the steering wheel. “Yeah. I… I’m kind of nervous. I feel guilty that I haven’t been better about keeping in touch. Especially with it being too late to be sorry in some cases.”

“Never too late to do better so go and eat nice food and catch up. Just remember that while you’re eating all that nice food and relaxing, I am running around like a maniac doing your shit.”

“How many cocktails do I owe you?”

“Currently four, the number may increase depending how hard I have to haggle over corkage with the caterer. Love you honey, take care okay?”

“Love you too, I’ll call you later.”

She had to let Nadine end the call since she had no idea how to make the car do it. It was an effort not to be too disappointed as the traffic finally started to creep forward, putting an end to her delay.

**

“You know what, I’ll admit it, that went better than I thought.”

“What?” Reese laughed, pushing her hair back behind her ear as they walked along the street. “It was your idea! You invited us thinking it would be bad?”

“No!” Tiffany poked her in the arm before linking it with hers. The two of them made a bit of a mismatched pair. Reese was much taller than Tiffany, whose Chinese heritage made her predictably petite, but where Reese was rocking her jeans and a shirt Tiffany was looking very preppy in a shift dress and heels. It was very much Memphis and LA walking down the street together. “I was just worried that it would be… I don’t know. Depressing or morbid or something.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. But then actually this has kind of made me feel better about tomorrow because…” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess Harm was way too fun for it to be a downer talking about her, even now.”

Even the weather seemed fittingly sunny for their reunion. Of course that was typical for the city anyway, but somehow grey and gloomy would have felt inappropriate. Their friend had been much too bubbly for that. They were walking the few blocks to the nearest shopping precinct as Tiffany had some kind of secret errand to run for the funeral the next day. Reese was glad of the opportunity for them to talk one on one, and the combination of fresh air and light exercise was shaking the cobwebs away. Justin really had been right, sitting in that room brooding had lulled her into a stupor.

“Nah, Steve wouldn’t let tomorrow be a downer anyway.” Tiffany said.

“How’s he holding up?”

“Remarkably well, actually. He just keeps saying that she always wanted to keep going and make the most out of life, even when things got shitty, so that’s the best way to honour her now. I mean obviously he’s been upset and everything but he’s astoundingly positive. The leg’s bothering him, but even then he shrugs it off and says it’ll heal soon enough. It’s kind of amazing, really, you really have to admire his attitude.”

“That’s good, it’s really good. How about you?”

She’d been waiting carefully for the opportunity to ask this question, not wanting to do it in a group setting. Within their little friendship group Reese had always been the relative newcomer. She’d met them during her first few months in LA, fresh out of college, but the rest of them had been friends since middle school. They had been at her spinning class and after a few friendly pleasantries before warm ups they had invited her out for a drink after the session one day. They’d been close knit ever since, but Tiffany and Harmony had always been the leaders of the pack. They had a ‘partners in crime’ air about them and she had never taken it as an insult if they were described as each other’s best friends above the rest of them. In the same way her best friend was Nadine, Tiffany and Harmony had a different bond. The idea of one without the other was strange. That was why she’d wanted to ask; if anybody was going to take it hardest then it would be her.

“Honestly?” Her almond shaped eyes glittered with tears. Reese reached across with her spare hand to squeeze her arm. “It sounds so stupid, but I keep going to call her to ask her about what she wants for the funeral. It’s this reflex, like, I know she’s gone but it’s as if my body doesn’t understand it yet. I keep starting to drive to her place rather than Steve’s.”

“That’s totally understandable sweetie.”

“And, I feel embarrassed telling you this, but I was biting my nails until everybody got to the restaurant today.” She reached out her other hand to display her ruined manicure. “I just did not feel safe until I had all my girls in the room.”

“Again, completely understandable.” Reese unhooked their arms and stroked the back of Tiffany’s head comfortingly. “You know when I got your call, I ran off to talk to Trace about it and nearly had a meltdown because I was worried about what I’d said to her last. Because I thought it was some dumb shit about the wedding and not special enough or something. I nearly made up an excuse about today because I felt guilty for not seeing y’all in so long, like I possibly could have known that I wouldn’t get another chance to see her.”

She smiled, nodding and brushing away more tears. “Well at least it’s not just me. I think helping with the funeral helps though, I feel like I’m kind of… I don’t know, fulfilling my friend duties or something. Is that silly?”

“Naw, it’s sweet.” She wrapped her arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

“Naw? Oh God, you have never sounded more country than you do right now.”

“Shut up!” She squealed. Maybe the jokes were silly but it lifted things up a bit when they were getting too emotional. They’d been doing the same through the entire lunch, using humour to abruptly change the subject.

“You do though. And you definitely look country; I don’t think I ever remember seeing you in pants before.”

“Hey, you can take the redneck outta the country but I’m still Southern born and bred.”

“Please,” Tiffany snorted, “you have never been a redneck. I have to admit I was kind of surprised you moved permanently. I mean, I wasn’t surprised that you left for a while after what happened but I always thought you’d be back, you know? You love it here, and it suits you. That job of yours sounds friggin’ boring.”

“Ahh, I’ll be giving it up soon enough for the rug rats anyway,” Reese smiled.

“Can I be honest?”

“Always, though nothing good ever starts with that question.”

“Nothing bad, I swear! Only I don’t see you as a stay at home mom. I definitely see you as a mom, but… I don’t know.” Tiffany looked down at her feet as they walked. It was as if she expected the blue pumps to fill in the rest of the thought for her. “Like, I always thought the reason you and Harmony got on so well was that you’re both really… dynamic, that’s the word. In different ways, but y’all get shit done. You want something you find a way to go do it. I feel like you’d get bored with nothing besides the kids to worry about. Like you’re bored now because the job’s lame.”

Reese smiled at the teasing drawl she put on ‘y’all.’ “Okay, that could’ve been worse - was really expecting you to say something bad. Had so many people sticking their noses in and warning me off whirlwind marriages that it’s making me paranoid everybody’s about to criticise.”

Tiffany remained silent on that point. She might have shared those misgivings but she knew that sometimes airing them was more alienating than helpful. Sometimes the only thing to do was to shut up and be supportive. She was ready to be proved wrong and she was ready to be proved right; either way it was safest to quietly have her friend’s back and merely deal with whatever came next.

“I think you should move this foxy sounding fiancé of yours out here. They have cars for him to fix here too, and you could get back in your zone. And selfishly, I’d have somebody to go to zumba with.”

“Drake’s not a fan of city life.” Reese shook her head. “And honestly… I don’t know. It’s been so weird being back here, I don’t feel like I fit any more.”

“I think that’s only because you’re stuck in your ex-boyfriend’s house. Which, let’s be honest, is really friggin’ weird even if it did make the trip financially viable. I bet if you came back on your own terms you’d wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. Plus, we miss you.” Tiffany playfully tugged at a lock of her hair.

“I miss you too. And I won’t lie, I miss the job but… I kind of feel like life went another way, I guess.”

“As your friend…” Tiffany trailed off. “I just want you to be happy, you know, because if this whole Harmony thing has told me anything it’s that life’s too short. And you were really happy here. I know JT went and loused up a big part of it but he doesn’t need to louse up the bits that still work.”

“Honestly, I am happy, just stressed over the wedding. I hate wedding planning.”

“Lord, ain’t that the truth. It’s a good job the eventual day winds up being so great because damn that made me want to kill somebody. Usually my mother. Of course Harm said that was stupid and it was only a piece of paper anyway.  Said she didn’t need her relationship to be government sponsored – think she thought she was bohemian or something.”

Reese smiled again. She really was glad that He Who Must Not Be Named had forced her out of the door, because being with Tiffany was making her feel a lot less lonely and ungrounded.

“Oh, we’re here,” she said as they finally approached the party supply store. “So are you now going to finally tell me why we’re here?”

“Guess I’ll have to. So Steve had this great idea…”