On hearing the sound of the front door, Jenna rose from her seat and went to greet her husband. As it turned out she was also greeting her brother in law. Both Dean and Oliver were kicking off their sneakers and shrugging off their jackets. They were always the siblings who resembled each other least of the five, but apparently some facial expressions were genetic. There was an uncanny similarity in their clenched jaws (and also in their dress sense – both were in jeans and plaid shirts, having long since ditched the tuxedos).

“Hey.” She leaned against the door jamb and folded her arms. “No luck?”

“No,” Dean said with a bleak shake of his head. “We just came to grab something to eat and then we’ll head back out.” They wouldn’t even have done that, but they were flagging and needed the energy.

“I put yours under the grill. Figured you might bring home guests, so there’s plenty for Ollie too.”

“And that is why I married you.”  As he passed by her to get to the kitchen, Dean gave her a quick kiss hello and a light rub on the arm.

Oliver followed, hands stuffed in his jean pockets and giving her a strained smile. “Thanks, Jen.”

Dean paused only briefly by the table to kiss both of his children on the forehead. Daisy was much too busy digging in her food with the spoon to pay any heed (or to eat the food). Will was doing better with his dinner but had managed to smear the tomato sauce all around his face in the process. A good few pieces of his pasta made it onto the place mat rather than into his mouth. Oliver in turn ruffled his nephew’s hair en route to the cupboards.

They had been searching for their sister for a couple of hours now with no results. Sam and their father were also out looking, but even a town like theirs was too much ground for such a small group to cover. Nobody wanted to make a further spectacle of Reese by involving any more friends and neighbours, but it was getting to a point where they might not have a choice. The night was upon them. She hadn’t taken her phone with her, so there was no way to check that she was alright. They didn’t even know what she’d been wearing. For all they knew she’d gone out without enough layers and could make herself sick as the temperature dropped.

The wedding ceremony lapsed into chaos as soon as Trace Ayala got up to the front and haltingly announced that it would not be going ahead. People swarmed upon the Bennington family members as if they weren’t also hearing this for the first time. None of them knew what to do. As people started getting up and milling around, rushing over to each other to exclaim and speculate, they filled the aisle of the church. That made it difficult to get out, not helped by them already being at the very front. Everybody stopped them to offer condolences or to try and dig into what might be happening but they were as clueless as anyone.

Once outside they were filled in by Jenna and Nadine. This was a short and incomplete story since neither of them was told much. John had loaded Reese into the car and got her out of there before anybody made it outside (helped by Trace’s strategic delay). All that was left was to clear the church and apologise to as many of the guests as they could. It was the most excruciating experience any of them had suffered in a while. The mix of pity and curiosity everybody wore on their faces was galling. A few were clearly feeling a little disapproving, but luckily most of those were dealt with by Elizabeth or Sam. Oliver might not have been able to hold his tongue.

“So none of her friends know where she is either?” Jenna asked.

“No.” Dean finished dishing the pasta onto the plates and handed one to his brother. Rather than sitting down they both leaned against the counter. Neither could relax enough to sit and eat a meal properly. “None of her LA friends had a clue she was going to back out, and she hasn’t answered any of Trace’s messages since Dad took her out of there.”

“Do we have any idea what’s happened? Like, why did she even run out?”

Oliver swallowed the bite of food before speaking. “Not really, she wasn’t talking to anyone when we got home. Dad said she got Trace out of the church, spoke to him, and then just called the whole thing off saying it’d be a mistake. She told Drake, naturally they had a fight and then Dad took her home. That was as much as anyone got out of her.”

“So how did we manage to lose her?”

“No friggin’ idea,” Dean said. “She shut herself up in her room, wouldn’t open her door to anyone. When Ollie finally said screw that and barged in anyway she was just gone. She could have left any time before we actually realised.”

They hadn’t immediately fretted abut it. Even though it was a mystery how she’d got out without being noticed, they didn’t blame her. It was only natural to need to clear her head after the tumultuous day. At that stage the disappearance was sudden but not cause for alarm. The worry only set in when she didn’t return for several hours. Their mom tried to call her and they heard the phone going off upstairs. That was when they started to grow concerned. It wasn’t that they wanted to prise answers out of her; this wasn’t the time of year to be outside all night. The days were still mild but when the sun went down it got cool very quickly.

“Lord.” Going to the sink, she grabbed a cloth and took it back to the table. As she talked she started wiping up after her children. “Anyone hear from Drake?”

“No, not that I expected to,” Dean replied. “Though he probably couldn’t get through even if he tried. Everybody’s phones have been blowing up with people calling to check if we’re okay.”

As if to punctuate his phone beeped yet again in his pocket. Pulling it out with a sigh, he saw that it was Clark. It made him feel bad, having to text back to say that they still hadn’t found her – almost like he was letting the kid down or failing him. Where the four eldest had more or less equal relationships, the age gap meant Reese had always doted on Clark. Though he was currently at an age where he wouldn’t willingly admit it, he adored her in return. He knew he wouldn’t sleep until she was accounted for.

“Check if we’re okay meaning ‘be nosy bastards and get the gossip,’ of course.” Oliver’s nose twitched as he scowled. “Even Mom was starting to swear every time the damn house phone rang.”

“Well it’s not great, is it,” Jenna said. “Apart from being insensitive as all hell, if Reese tries to call from somewhere you want the line clear.”

“Exactly.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“Mom’s staying home in case she shows back up. You’re here, Trace and Nadine agreed to stay put in case she turns up at either of their places, and her friends are doing the same at their motel in case she goes to see them. All else we can do is keep looking, though if it gets too late we might have to consider calling the sheriff. I mean, she wouldn’t qualify as missing persons but they might be able to think of some places we didn’t look.”

A light bulb went off in Jenna’s head. “Speaking of, you should call Justin. If Trace can’t think of anywhere else she might be I bet he could.”

Dean looked at his wife with wonder in his eyes. “You always have all the good ideas, baby.”

“Just you remember that.”

Before this exchange was over Oliver had abandoned his plate and got his phone in his hand. He pulled up Justin’s contact details. It only took a couple of rings before a puzzled voice answered.

“Ollie?” He’d seen the name on the caller ID and was perplexed. None of the Bennington brothers had any occasion to call him in the last year, but for Oliver it was even longer since he’d been away serving. In the middle of his sister’s wedding reception seemed like an odd time.

“Hey, Justin, I’m sorry to bug you but I was wondering if you heard from Reese today?”

“Umm… no. Of course not. Figure she’s a little busy.”

“Heh.” Oliver’s laugh was twisted with irony.

“Why you asking?”

“It’s a long story, but she didn’t get married today and we haven’t heard from her in a while. We’re getting worried and I just wondered…” He got a pointed look from Dean, as if by saying that he was stealing credit. Rolling his eyes, he corrected himself. “Well, Jenna wondered if maybe she might have talked to you?”

“Shiiiiiit.” He couldn’t see Justin’s face, but from that tone Oliver imagined it to be wearing a look of dumbfounded astonishment. “No, she hasn’t.”

“Don’t suppose you know where she might go? We’ve been looking but no sign of her.”

Justin could have screamed. That wasn’t often the case – he was more the ‘fume silently’ type – but he really could have screamed. Leaving seemed like the smart move this morning. Now he was kicking himself. He couldn’t believe he was sitting alone in California, unable to act on any of this information.

“Where have you checked?”

He reeled them off on his spare set of fingers. “Her place, the Ayalas’, your mom’s, the hotel where your friends are, our usual bars… all the normal hang outs.”

“Did Trace tell you where to check in the park?”

Oliver perked up, gesturing to Dean with a finger pointed at the phone and then a thumbs up. “No he didn’t mention the park. Where?”

**

Reese wasn’t sure how her brothers guessed where she was. They had taken the most direct path to the spot; she happened to be facing it so saw them coming. Although she’d left home wanting solitude she was comforted. Even from a distance she’d been able to tell who it was. The path was well lit and they were too distinctive to her. They were both similar heights, but it was the walk that did it. In Oliver’s case it was the smooth glide; in Dean’s it was the square-shouldered stance. There was something very John Wayne about it.

When they reached the summit they looked at her with loving exasperation in their eyes. A spare jacket dangled from Dean’s hand, which she could only assume was for her.

“I know you don’t have a curfew any more but you could have called,” Dean said before easing himself down on the grass next to her. Oliver did the same on her other side. As he did he sent a group text message letting everybody know they’d got her.

“Just needed to be on my own a while.” She gave a shrug.

“We totally get that, but we were all getting worried sis,” Oliver told her gently. “It’s late.”

Reese picked up his wrist to look at his watch. Her eyes widened. Of course she’d seen the night start setting in, but somehow she’d underestimated the time. “Oh shit, I had no idea.”

“Geez, your hands are freezing!” He exclaimed.

“Are they?” She asked. She’d been a little chilly a while ago but felt fine. She thought that meant she’d warmed up – actually it meant she’d gone so far she stopped feeling it. It was lucky they found her when they did or she could have expected a nice head cold on top of everything else.

Dean took it as his cue to wrap the jacket around her. That was another good suggestion of Jenna’s, making sure they had a spare in case she wasn’t dressed warmly enough. He then followed it with his arm around her. Reese wearily rested her head on his shoulder. She snuggled into the jacket, pressing her nose slightly into his sleeve. The one he’d put on her was his assistant coach jacket but the one he wore was a leather number he’d lived in since high school. It was like her old brown cowboy boots – well worn in. If she associated any smell with her eldest brother, it would be that beaten up leather or the pine freshener in his truck.

“How did you even get out?” Dean asked.

There was no way she was admitting that. She had been climbing out of her bedroom window and down the adjacent tree since the age of twelve. If nobody figured it out yet she wasn’t cluing them in. There was a faintly perilous hop between window ledge and the sturdiest branch but it became less so as she grew older and taller. She’d never expected to do it again at this age but here she was. She knew she’d never get out of the front door without an inquisition or people wanting to go with her; she hadn’t been ready to face anyone. If she’d timed it like she’d meant to then she would have been back before she scared anyone.

“I’m sorry, I totally lost track of time.”

“Just take your phone next time, alright?” Oliver picked up her hand in both of his, rubbing to warm it up.

“I just knew Nadine and everybody would be blowing it up and… God, I’m sorry. First I go and pull that stunt at the church and dump you all in it with the guests, and then on top of everything I go and worry you all thinking I’ve jumped off a bridge or something. God I’m such a stupid bitch. Total screw up.”

“You know I don’t let people talk shit about my sister like that,” Dean said.

“You should if she deserves it.” Reese’s mouth curled into a self-loathing sneer.

“If all you’ve been doing is sitting out here beating yourself up then you should’ve come home earlier,” Oliver said with a stern gaze. “Nobody blames you, Reese. If you were having doubts then you did the right thing.”

“Yeah, but maybe if I’d have done the right thing a few days ago it wouldn’t have been such a God damn drama. And I wouldn’t have had tons of people waste so much money for a wedding that didn’t happen, or embarrass Mom and Dad like that. Or worry you all by being inconsiderate.”

That was hard to respond to. Neither of her brothers thought she was being fair on herself, but it was hard to refute. There was no untruth in what she’d said; her actions had all that impact and more.

“Dad called the venue,” he offered up. “They managed to save some of the stuff so we can try to return it or at least sell it on as second hand.”

Oliver’s intent was to soothe her worries about the money side, but she only felt more ashamed. “Which if I wasn’t such a selfish idiot I’d have been taking responsibility for.”

“It’s okay,” Dean told her, rubbing his hand briskly along her upper arm. “We’re your family; helping pick up the pieces is what we do.”

More tears sprang to her eyes. An endless well of them seemed to reside somewhere in her body. Part of her wondered if she’d been storing some that she should have let out long ago. Maybe if she had she wouldn’t have got herself into this mess, pretending to be someone she wasn’t.

“I just feel like I went and created this whole mess and it’s everybody else paying for it,” she sniffled. “You guys, Drake…” The name made her choke. “I feel like I hurt everybody.”

“Only way you’d hurt us is if you’d done the wrong thing and been unhappy, darlin’. Even if I hate it when Ollie’s right.”

“Let’s not make this about me, ‘kay?”

Reese was confused. “What do you mean?”

“Yeah. Ass called this a few days ago. That’s why he’s been such a dick.”

“Hey!” He protested.

“And you couldn’t have just, I don’t know, said something instead of acting like a total brat?” She asked bitterly. It wasn’t Oliver’s fault, she got herself into her own trouble, but it would have been nice if he’d tried a conversation instead of a fist fight.

“Would you have listened?”

Maybe he had her there. “Possibly not. You’re still an idiot though. You too, I haven’t forgotten you were throwing punches,” she said before Dean could get too smug.

Dean rolled his eyes. It felt like he did that a lot when it came to Oliver lately. “Me and my nearly broke wrist haven’t forgot either.”

“So the only ones of us who aren’t total dipshits are Sam and Clark,” she said.  “Huh. Guess older’s no guarantee of wiser.”

“Look, sweetheart, you’ve been out here in the cold too long. We’ll get you home, get some food down you, and maybe you can just go to sleep and be more ready to talk about all this in the morning?” Dean suggested.

When they began searching, the first thought in his mind about what to do when they found her was trying to coax the real story out. In her current state he no longer thought that was smart. If she’d spent several hours convincing herself she was a horrible person it wasn’t wise to revisit the most emotional point while she felt that way. Maybe a good night’s sleep would give her some perspective.

“I don’t know…” She hid her face a little further into his shoulder. It muffled her voice against the leather. “I’m not sure I can face Mom and Dad.”

“Doesn’t have to be home-home; my guest room’s yours if you want it Reesey.” It was a childhood nickname he didn’t use much these days.

Did it matter where it was? Her parents’ house, Dean and Jenna’s house, it wasn’t the honeymoon suite she was supposed to be staying in. She was supposed to be a wife right now. There should have been vows, pictures, dinner and dancing. People should have made speeches and she should have thrown her bouquet. Instead she spent her evening sitting by herself on a hilltop, plucking blades of grass, wondering how the hell she’d managed to get everything so spectacularly wrong.

A brief thought skittered through her head that she could ask Trace to help her pack up. Get away to Los Angeles as soon as possible. Immediately she berated herself for it. He would do it without question - but she’d run away once before and it hadn’t helped. This time she needed to be brave and deal with the mess. Whoever she had to face, however painful that might be, she had to suck it up. As Dean might say, they were Benningtons and Benningtons weren’t cowards. Even if being a coward was a more comforting idea right about now.

“Please.”

Dean kissed her forehead and released her, clambering to his feet and leaving Oliver to help her up. Once they were standing, he took his turn to give his sister a hug. Reese accepted it willingly. Being older Dean somehow felt more reassuring when he hugged her, but Ollie had a way of making the weight on her shoulders feel a little lighter. Hugs from her younger brothers were different, made her feel admired and looked up to (even if Clark was in his teenage ‘too cool for displays of affection’ stage). She might have scoffed at her dad in the car when he said so, but it was true. It made her feel madder at herself for not living up to her role model status.

Oliver tucked her arm through his and started leading the way home.