“God damn it.”

An evil scowl on his face, Drake leaned over and with a swipe picked the wrench back up. It was the third time he’d dropped it in as many minutes. Being preoccupied apparently turned him into a butterfingers. The trouble was there was so much tension in his body that it seeped out in his movement – it was like his muscles were trying to spend some of it for him.

At this stage he was no longer certain exactly what he was brooding on. There were so many things that they were all melding together and becoming indistinguishable. That was hazardous; he was at risk of connecting things that might not truly be related.

There was the jealous part that was annoyed with the stories coming out. There was some residual anger, for sure, though he’d done his best to work on it. Then there was the part of him that was simply upset and missed the good times. Confusingly, there was also a voice in his head which actually thought he was an idiot for still being bugged about any of it anyway. Before he’d been fool enough to start reading press cuttings, he’d barely thought about Reese for a week. That was major progress. Why had he given into the curiosity? What did he hope to achieve? All he’d done was wind himself back up.

The mere fact that Reese jilted him was proof enough that they weren’t ultimately right, wasn’t it? Simple logic dictated that it was better to find that out before rather than after vows. If he’d been starting to feel better before the media decided she and Timberlake were news then why should that derail it now? Even if it was true, she was single. There had been a respectable gap. Whatever her romantic present or future it didn’t alter any other conclusion he’d come to about the past.

So why the ire?

Feelings weren’t that logical, he supposed. That was why he’d been unable to resist finding out why the press was knocking on his door. That was why a simple brake pad change was giving him so much trouble. He couldn’t concentrate.

“Hello?”

“Back here!” he called out. The voice was familiar enough by now.

Sure enough, the red hair appeared around the corner. Standing there in an understated navy suit with a briefcase in her hand, Nadine didn’t really look like herself. He supposed that being an accountant people expected you to look very serious, but in her off time she wasn’t very serious at all. He was used to seeing her in much brighter outfits.

Drake was now used to seeing her a lot - in the months since the wedding, she had taken it upon herself to keep a check on him to make sure he was doing okay. He appreciated that. Half of him suspected she was probably reporting back to Reese, but since her concern still seemed genuine he ignored that. Whatever else, she was a friend and he needed them at the moment. Specifically, he needed ones who didn’t think the answer to his problems was to bitch about his ex.

Though well-intentioned, a lot of his male friends acted like he should be over it already. If he brought it up they responded in extremes – either by dodging it or by going over the top in their criticism. They seemed to believe that if they could only convince him she was horrible he’d be able to flip a switch and forget. His overwhelming impression was that they were made uncomfortable by his pain. They’d prefer him to pretend everything was fine.

Sometimes he preferred that himself, but on the few occasions that he needed a vent it was wearisome. Nadine had stepped into the breach as a sympathetic ear.

“Hey slugger,” she smiled brightly. “On your own again, huh?”

“Yeah, Johnny had a family thing so I told him to scoot early. Don’t tell Joe.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” Nadine noticed that the other mechanics always seemed to have something going and Drake was always left carrying the can for them. She wasn’t sure whether he was being played or it just suited him. “So I only stopped by because I heard what happened with Dean. You okay?”

Some people would have come under a pretext. She was far too blunt to do so, and Drake was never quite sure if he liked that or not. On the one hand it was transparent. There was no waiting for the real agenda to become clear. On the other, there was a certain social nicety and easing in that came with the pretext; you didn’t get that with Nadine. She’d hit you with the whammy and wind you in the process.

“Yeah.” He stifled a sigh. “Guess I was a little pissy.”

“You were a lot pissy, the way he tells it.”

“You blame me?”

“I wouldn’t say blame, exactly… but maybe you were taking something out on him that isn’t his fault.”

“It isn’t his fault he tried to smash my face in?”

She gave him a sardonic glare. “Because that was exactly what I was referring to.”

“What do you want me to say?”

Drake tossed the wrench back in the tool box and wondered if he should quit for the night. This wasn’t a difficult job and normally he could finish it without staying too late. Today his head was not in the game. Picking up a rag, he started wiping off his hands.

“Yeah, I’m pissed off at a lot of stuff. Yeah, Dean probably copped some of that. Yeah, I probably ought to be mature and accepting and shit but I’m not a friggin’ saint.”

“It’s kind of a shame,” she said. “I actually think you two could make it up, you know. He liked you.”

“Only one of her brothers who did,” he muttered.

“You and Ollie have more in common than you think. Like, oh, say, blowing up at one person when you’re actually mad about something else.”

“I’m not mad at Reese.”

“The fact that you immediately assumed I meant her might suggest otherwise.”

“You know, this whole adopting the ex program of yours is really irritating.”

“You dig me and you know it.” Nadine remained unabashed. She merely shrugged off her jacket and tossed it on the bench. Sitting down on it, she crossed her ankles and started swinging them. “Seriously, I just came over because I don’t think you’d have blown up at Dean like that if you weren’t stressed. Do you need to talk?”

“If I did I’d call.”

“No you wouldn’t - that’s kind of the problem. You’re Mr Stoic-Pretend-Everything’s-Fine guy.”

Drake shook his head. “I’d call it manning up and getting on with shit.”

“Which is a good idea… in moderation. When it becomes sticking your head in the sand and repressing shit then it’s not good for you.” Though she was blunt, Nadine wasn’t unkind. Her voice was softening and she was looking at him with affection. “Look, you’ll stand there and shrug and say you’re alright but it’s not easy and it’s okay if you’re feeling some stuff. It’s just not okay to bottle that up and let it explode on innocent bystanders, for your sake as much as theirs.”

With a sigh, he shook his head and looked at her. “Thought you were supposed to be on my side, not Dean Bennington’s.”

She smiled back at him. The teasing was a good sign. “Known him since we were kids and he taught us all the good cuss words. That’s a strong bond.”

“Fair enough.”

Drake started picking up his tools and putting them back in their assigned places at his work station. This ought to be the work of mere seconds, but he was stretching it out. It bought him some thinking time. Was she right? Should he talk about it? Spilling his guts didn’t come naturally to him, but would it help?

“Do you think it’s true?”

Nadine’s answer was slow and careful. “Do I think what’s true?”

“You know.” He gave her a pointed look. “All those articles about Reese.”

Nadine needed to tread softly on this one. Was that choice of words significant? The articles weren’t really about her, after all. They were about the pop star. He was the celebrity, not her. Sure Drake knew her far better than him, but did he really read them and see more of a commentary on her than on the insanity that was the Timberlake Celebrity Show?

“If it is she hasn’t said anything to me.”

“Would she?”

“Yeah,” she replied without hesitation. She disliked Justin but that didn’t mean she refused to listen to Reese’s chit chat about what she was up to. It would be childish to do so because it might involve him. “And honestly, I’d be surprised if it was because when I’ve spoken to her it’s all about her job, or catching up with me, or her asking if you’re doing okay. Obviously she’ll start dating eventually, but up ‘til now I really think she’s been too preoccupied getting over you to worry about anybody else.”

Some part of him wanted to take hope from that – the part that was desperate to believe she’d loved him as much as he loved her. The part that remembered her saying she’d have waltzed off to LA without him wouldn’t let it.

“She seemed over it when she was racing out of here.”

“Look, Drake...” She shifted uncomfortably on the counter. “I hope you don’t think for a second that hurting you was easy for her. She was never going to run off and go jump some other guy like it was nothing.”

Well, that was the trouble wasn’t it? He got the impression that he wasn’t merely some other guy. Nobody could convince him that the timing was a happenstance. The ex came back into her life, and slowly the engagement started failing. What did that mean in terms of events and what happened when? Drake wasn’t sure. He only knew that he’d spent enough time worrying about her previous relationship even before he was left at the church.

Now there seemed to be a possibility of its resurrection. If that was so then it couldn’t be brand new. Even if nothing happened at the time, there would’ve been some undercurrent of it all the while. That was a disheartening thought - maybe she’d been with him but not truly with him the entire time. Could anybody blame him for being a little mad at the world? Though her behaviour was ultimately blameless it was still a bitter thing to swallow. It would almost be easier if she’d done something wrong; at least that would be clear cut.

“I don’t know. You really think it was a big coincidence that he turned back up and then this all happened?”

“Well…”

“I don’t like that pause.”

She rolled her eyes. “I need a second. Trying to be impartial about Justin takes me some working up to.”

“Why do you hate him so much anyway?”

The intent behind that question was to subtly pry into the original break up. Nadine didn’t realise, but in any event would never have been drawn on the subject.

“There was no big bust up or anything, we’ve just always clashed. I think he’s hell spawn and he thinks I’m a bitch.”

Over the years a few armchair psychologists hypothesised that it was jealousy, she felt left out of the trio. That wasn’t true. She’d never desired inclusion precisely because she didn’t like Trace or Justin. Even so, somehow they’d managed to function in their loathing without driving Reese insane over the years. That was probably because (despite the steady stream of insults) nobody was at all territorial in their behaviour. Nadine didn’t pout if Reese turned down a night out because she was with Trace. When they’d lived together Justin didn’t sulk about Nadine’s visits. On the big occasions, they sucked it up.

“Reese thought he was an asshole too, right up until they went away together,” Drake pointed out as he finished putting away the tools. The next job was to do the rounds and start turning off all the equipment as necessary.

Twisting her bracelet around her wrist, Nadine thought about that. “That’s true, but I don’t think it means what you think it does.”

Bristling, he glared at her. That comment felt presumptuous. “What do I think it means?”

“Well, the way you’re talking it sounds like you think she dumped you for him. Am I wrong?”

All you could hear was the steady whirring of the machinery as he lowered the garage door.

“I’m taking that as a no,” she replied with a wry drawl. “The thing you have to understand is that she never left LA because she really wanted to change her job or her life there. It was just too awkward for her, so when they became friends again it made her rethink her plans. But if you notice, right up until the last second she was still trying to include you.”

“What you getting at?”

“What I’m getting at is that if it was all about him, then she wouldn’t have done that. Her first thought wouldn’t be to try and take you with her. It’s like she told you, the pair of you just wanted different things and she didn’t realise that quick enough. Whatever is or isn’t going on with them now wasn’t part of your break up.”

“I just… I will never get it.” Drake scratched at the back of his neck. When he was annoyed all the tension went to the muscles there. He couldn’t seem to get the kink out. “She and I had talked about all that stuff so many times before. We were agreed on everything, until suddenly after a few days in LA she’s got other ideas.”

“I think it was one of those things where she wanted it to be true so much she didn’t really see that it wasn’t, not until she kind of got hit upside her head with it. I know she feels awful that you got caught up in that.”

“I wish that made me feel better,” Drake said. “I mean, I know she’s sorry, but… fuck. I just had everything banking on her, you know?”

“Oh please. You’re a good looking, charming guy who wants to get married and settle down with the picket fence and the kids and the dog and shit. If you think Reese was your only shot you’re either too modest for your own good or just friggin’ dense.”

For the first time that day, something actually made him laugh. “I’ll try and take that as a compliment.”

“Seriously, hon,” she continued. “Once you’re ready to get back out there you’re not going to have a problem finding somebody on the same wavelength.”

“I know you’re probably right but… I can’t explain it. I know that everything you’re saying and that she said makes sense, but I still can’t help feeling like I got passed up for a better offer and that gets me. I try to be the good guy and understand, but I still have an ego like everybody else.”

“No, you shouldn’t look at it like that.” Nadine shook her head vehemently. “Reese still thinks the world of you, you know.”

With everything switched off, the last thing to do was have a quick sweep. Even after sweeping the floor would still look filthy, but at least it wouldn’t be covered in black dust. When you got that on your shoes it tracked everywhere. Even Reese, who hated all her mother’s rules about shoes, used to make him take his boots off outside.

“Can’t help thinking she thought more of somebody else.”

“Trust me, if I could find some way to blame Timberlake for all this I would, but this is a bona fide blameless situation. She’s told me again and again why she did what she did and his name did not come up. She wasn’t looking for anybody else. And if she is now… well, not to be harsh but it’s been long enough. She’s allowed and you need to deal with it. Honestly, I thought you were until you started reading all those dumb reports. You should just ignore it, it doesn’t change anything.”

In some measure she was telling herself as much as Drake. Although she found the relationship unfathomable, it seemed clearer than ever to her that for whatever reason her best friend needed her least favourite person. Whether it was platonic or romantic, she functioned better when he was around. Nadine would never comprehend it but she didn’t have to. So long as nobody expected her to fake playing nice it was all good; she loved Reese and wanted what was best for her. She’d sucked it up before and would again.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Drake heaved an irritated sigh. Nadine might be blunt but sometimes that was the medicine. “I just… you know how you could logically know something but your emotions take a little while to catch up?”

“I do – which is exactly why I stopped by to bug the crap out of you until you expressed some. Venting is healthy. And stops you being a douche to people for the crime of being related to your ex.”

“Man.” He chuckled. “You’d think that when I lost the fiancée I could have ditched her crazy best pal in the bargain.”

“Please - if I stopped talking to my guy friends just because they broke up with one of my girlfriends I would be avoiding every male in Shelby under the age of 40. Perils of living in a small town.”

“Eh, you’re not so bad. Guess I’ll keep you.”

“I’ll take that as ‘thank you Nadine for your wise counsel, I will listen to you and work through my issues.’ You’re welcome.”

“Sounds like the way to take it.”

It wasn’t sarcastic; it was a quiet endorsement. Nadine’s technique might have been forthright, some would even say abrasive, but he knew it was in his best interests. In the scheme of things she was correct. No matter what else was going on, he should drop the baggage and move on. Nothing changed the fundamental fact that as much as he loved Reese the two of them wanted different things out of life. She’d done him a favour when she cut him loose, as hard as it was to see it that way.

It was true – he’d been well on track with that thought process until the reporters had hit the raw nerve again. He shouldn’t let this set him back. Luckily for him he had a pushy and overbearing friend to prod him back into his senses.

“Glad we worked it out,” she said. “So, feel like pizza?”