It took half an hour of staring at the ceiling before Justin realised why he wasn’t falling asleep. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t. Tomorrow (technically today) was Sunday. If he needed a lie in he could have one. Even so, it was a long raucous night and he’d expected to drop off promptly. It wasn’t insomnia, he didn’t feel wide awake. He was sleepy, felt ready to go any second; for some odd reason he didn’t.

Eventually he realised he was listening for Reese.

From force of habit his driver brought them straight to his house instead of stopping by Trace’s. The pair was too busy chatting about the evening’s shenanigans to notice, but Justin waved it off and offered her the spare room. There was enough of her stuff still hanging around that fresh clothes wouldn’t be a problem. (They’d decided there was no point in moving everything to Trace’s only to move them again to her new place once she got it).

They both went upstairs and washed up. Last he’d seen Reese she said goodnight and disappeared downstairs for a glass of water. The reason he wasn’t getting to sleep was that he hadn’t heard her come back. There was little wonder; he was a light sleeper and would be easily woken by movement in the corridor, no matter how quiet. His subconscious was probably waiting for the green light.

With a sense of déjà vu, Justin swung his feet out of the bed. He yanked his sweatpants and a t-shirt back on. Tying the drawstring and giving a yawn as he padded through the door, he called out.

“Reese?”

At least this time when he got downstairs and found it dark he knew where to look. He went to the back door and as expected found it unlocked. The lights weren’t on this time, but a faint orange glow emanated from the windows. He padded across the patio and onto the lawn.

“Reese?”

“In here JT.”

Justin reached the door of the hut and peered in. His hands rose to his hips in mock accusation.

“This sure looks cozy. Said you were tired and here you are, hiding out, drinking my wine.”

“Mine, actually.” She picked up the bottle and turned the label towards him. “Me and Harm went for dinner at the vineyard and I bought a case.”

“Okay, so you didn’t steal my booze,” he conceded. “But I still can’t believe you wanted another drink after all that.”

“I just needed to wind back down,” she said ruefully. “Too wired to sleep but didn’t want to keep you awake walking around the house.”

“Nah, I wasn’t sleeping either. Though what’s with the candles? Didn’t even know I had any.”

Justin strode over and dropped down on the cushions next to her. There were the benches lining the walls, but mostly they would sprawl out on the cushions when they were in there.

“They live here, remember?” She knocked on one of the benches – it was hollow.

“Oh yeah. Forgot.” They’d stashed supplies in there to save trips back and forth. The top was hinged and inside were usually candles, blankets, cups and the like. “So you’re having a romantic moment with yourself?”

“Ha ha.” That earned an elbow to the ribs. “Softer light, little quiet, calm my ass down and then I’ll be able to sleep.”

“Not surprised you need to unwind. You really, uhh… let your hair down.” He chuckled, picking up her glass and taking a sip. The red was fine, but not his thing. She liked hers more full-bodied than he did.

“Get your own, cups are in the bench,” she said with a teasing scold. “And yes I damn well did. I needed that.”

“Thought you said drinking wine out of a solo cup is trashy,” he said. “But as far as your hair goes, I’m glad you had fun. You sounded like you needed it earlier.”

“Oh, that.” Reese’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “Don’t know why I let it bother me, not like those photos said anything I didn’t already know. I’m over it.”

“Good.” Her detachment didn’t appear feigned so he pressed no further. That was as much as he felt like saying about it anyway. “Seriously though, it was good to see you back with your girls.”

“Good to be back.” Her head tilted to the side, content serenity settling over her features. She wasn’t smiling as such, but her eyes were soft. “That was a really good night. Didn’t see enough of you though, where were you hiding?”

“Milling around.” Justin shrugged, sinking further into the cushions. “Wasn’t in the mood to go nuts.”

“Something on your mind?” Her face turned to him and she took another sip.

“Not really.” Another shrug, but the way his bottom lip jutted out told her otherwise. It wasn’t a pout but it wanted to be. “Only that script, but that’s no biggie.”

Reese disagreed. Justin liked a good party and was usually in the thick of it when the debauchery began. Though he accused her of being the mastermind, he possessed a similar (if less potent) knack for encouraging things along without getting his own hands dirty. If it was enough to dampen that spirit then it troubled him more than he was acknowledging.

“What about it?” She coaxed.

“Just… I don’t know. It’s good, but I’m not sure I want to go away right now.”

This was an ethical dilemma. She didn’t want him to go, but it would be bad form to discourage it. “What’s holding you back?”

There was no way he would answer that question truthfully. “I guess the last few months have been kind of unsettled. Now shit’s calmed down should I maybe stop and enjoy it a minute?”

“Oh I hear that.” She raised the glass, meaning to take a sip, but instead she held it to her lips with a pensive gaze at the candles.

“Oh I bet you do.”

“Not funny.”

“It’s been anything but funny, peanut, but sometimes you have to laugh or you’d lose it.”

Eyebrows knitting together, she shifted uncomfortably. She felt more than a little responsible for some of the strain he’d been under. Although he was her friend and he supported her because he wanted to, she was acutely aware of how much she’d been leaning on him. She’d been reliant on her boys as she reacclimatised and worked through her break up. Some might consider it insensitive, given his declarations beforehand, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. She was more grateful than she could tell him. It seemed too risky to touch that button though, even to acknowledge how great he’d been.

Looking back it felt strange that she’d been mad for so long, despite having good reason. How had she lived an existence that he and Trace were no part of? The experience felt second hand somehow, not her history - some wildly out of character blip.

“That’s why tonight was so nice,” she said. “Finally feel like it’s all good from here and the badness is over with.”

“If I had a glass I’d drink to that.”

Her response was to hand hers back and allow him another sip. “Good to be back to normal, right?”

“Right.”

There was another lie of omission hidden beneath. His agreement was sincere but his idea of normal still differed from the current set up. Maybe things had progressed too far in a different direction, he was starting to accept that, but a stubborn part remained unwilling to change.

“Kind of amazing when you think, huh?” The reflection of the flames swayed in her eyes.

“Kind of? Damn miracle we’re friends after everything.”

“Heh.” One side of her mouth tugged upwards. It wasn’t to smile – it was like a weary sigh that never came out. “Maybe not so miraculous.”

His eyebrow rose. “Really? ‘Cause given how much you loathed me our making up so fast pretty much defies physics.”

“That’s the thing though,” she said. “I didn’t, not under it all. In a weird way… I don’t know. I think I was actually ready to hear you out long before I did. Was just being stubborn.”

“I gave you a pretty good reason to be,” he reminded her. 

What he read between the lines was that had he taken a more mature attitude from the outset and actually asked to talk she might have responded (even if it took a little while). That grated. It was one more thing he wished he could change.

“You did, but…” Reese’s lips pressed together as she considered her next words. “Honestly, JT, the more I’ve thought about it the more I think you were… justified is the wrong word, but I guess I blame you less. If there’s anything I worked out lately it’s that I got a lot wrong myself and how that can drive you a little crazy.”

She might not have sighed but Justin did. Only moments ago he’d thought her past it. “Peanut, you got to quit beating yourself up.”

Apart from anything else, he worried that she was transferring too much blame onto herself. You might expect him to be grateful, given it was rightfully his, but he didn’t like it. It didn’t feel fair. Maybe the underlying situation was about both of them but the big mistakes were his. The backbiting was his. The attendant shame belonged to him.

“I’m not,” she replied. “It’s just a factual thing. Like…” She accepted the glass back and put it down. Her arms folded over her chest. “I don’t know how to explain, but actually it’s part of what I mean about how the badness is over. I won’t take that kind of stuff for granted again.”

Justin looked down at his hands where they’d linked. Rolling one thumb around the other, he mulled that over.    

“I get you. You feel like you grew from the whole thing even if it’s sucked.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t know. Still look the same to me,” he teased gently.

“You can laugh, buddy.” With an index finger Reese poked his cheek. “Like you’re not a major improvement on the previous version.”

He groaned. “Are you going to remind me what an asshole I was forever?”

“Probably got another six months before you’ve done full penance,” she joked. “Seriously though, you did make it right and you’ve been pretty great since. I really don’t know how I’d have survived all this without you and Trace.”

“That’s just how we do. Rain or shine we’re with you, peanut, you know that.”

“And we’re back to that’s pretty incredible, considering.”

“Yeah.” He spoke the word less than exhaled it.

A companionable hush fell as they stared at the candles. It was soothing to watch the flames flicker in the darkness. The glow cast was soft and warm. Justin wouldn’t admit it but she was right about using them instead of the lamp. This was more relaxing. Reese’s wine was forgotten; instead she nestled her cheek into one of the pillows and sank back. She was half tempted to have Justin to pass her a blanket and sleep out here.

It was a few minutes before she felt compelled to break the silence.

“We should hang like this more often. I’ve missed this.”

“Me too.” It was an effort to keep his voice level.

“Umm… is it really selfish if I say forget the script and stay here to hang?” She was split squarely between kidding and being serious.

“Heh. Right now I’m not sure I got energy to go back inside, much less to Canada. How long will supplies last until one of us has to get up?”

“We have no food out here and I am not peeing in the bushes.”

Even chuckling seemed like too much exertion but he did anyway, shoulders twitching slightly with it. Seeing Reese about to fall asleep, Justin smiled. She looked so small and unassuming like this, in her plaid pyjama pants and the black tank. It was funny comparing her to the party animal of earlier.

“Tempting though.”

“Yep.”

He brushed her hair back where it was falling on her cheek. “You look done. Bedtime for you.”

She was but this moment was too nice. “You sure we can’t stay here?”

“Every time you ever said that to me, you woke up in the morning complaining you were cold and your back hurt.” He was rising even as he said it.

“Good point.”

Begrudgingly dragging herself into a sitting position, she accepted the hand offered and allowed him to pull her up. Picking up the glass and bottle, she bent over the window sill to blow out the candles. The strong smell of smoke hit her nose as the final sparks died on the wicks.

Together they left the hut. Justin pushed the door closed behind them and they set off across the lawn.

“Seriously,” she said as they reached the patio, “would you want to forget Vancouver?”

“Really?” His eyebrows rose, then shifted closer together as he frowned. “You don’t want me to go?”

“Okay, you say it like that and I realise how selfish this is so ignore me.”

“No, what?” He pressed. He held the door open and allowed her to step into the house before entering and locking up behind himself.

“I know this sounds silly, but with things back to normal… I don’t know. Things have been so heavy and we’re getting out the other side, finally. I suddenly thought that we won’t be able to kick back and enjoy that together, but that’s a dumb reason to pass up a good role. Ignore me.”

His eyes moved over to her without meeting hers. They hovered around her nose and cheekbones. “That’s not dumb.”

“No, you’ve been here for me more than enough. You should do something for yourself for a change.”

She moved into the kitchen and Justin followed. “Who says it wouldn’t be for myself?”

“I appreciate you being nice,” Reese said as she stashed the bottle away and discarded the glass in the sink, “but don’t worry.”

“I’m being totally self-serving, not nice,” he replied with curt exasperation. “Maybe you forgot, but I’ve been busting my ass to get back to this for months. Why wouldn’t I want to stick around if you’re telling me you want me to?”

When she looked back on this exchange, she wouldn’t be able to tell what tipped her off. Possibly it was the overreaction. The voice held unnecessary bite and was too irritated in context of the conversation. Otherwise it might be the timeline he mentioned, an agenda he’d held for a while. Whatever the subtext was it tapped on the inside of her skull.

Maybe it wasn’t the words but his newly smouldering expression. Justin could be rather intense sometimes. It all radiated out from the clench of his jaw and the deep lines that would appear across his forehead.

There was also the matter of her reaction. Butterflies made vigorous protest in her stomach, and there was a lifting sensation in her chest. Reese was too happy with that response.

“Then I do. Want you to.”

“Then I will.”

“Okay then.”

“Okay.”

“I, umm… what are you doing tomorrow? Or today, technically?”

“Nothing.”

“Want to start then?”

“Sure.”

There was another tension filled pause before she spoke again. “Justin?”

“Yes?” From his tone it seemed very possible that she was getting on his nerves. His arms had folded over his chest and he wasn’t looking at her.

“What if… what if we…”

“Yes?”

“Made it a date?”

Lord how she wished it hadn’t come out sounding so squeaky and small and like she had all the swagger of a mouse. She wished she looked more self-assured; the frightened little girl stance wasn’t a winner. Unfortunately the second she’d said it out loud the sheer magnitude walloped her in the face. That would knock anyone’s confidence.

Justin’s head snapped up, mouth dropping open. “A date? Are you serious?”

“Well… yeah.” Answering rhetorical questions was pointless but she did anyway.

Maybe it was inevitable that as she came full circle in everything else she came back around to him too.  After all was said and done he was still her rock and the person she wanted to be around. Maybe he’d shown off a few character flaws in recent history, but so did she. Watching somebody else flirt with him had been too disquieting, a reminder that he couldn’t be expected to wait forever.

If anything she felt slow for not realising earlier. She’d already noted the way she mentally checked out of her engagement once they got back on good terms. Their reconciliation may not have been romantic but was no less significant for it. Nobody rushed back into being that close that fast if their feelings had changed. Evidently she’d repressed hers, not moved past them.

His first response was to stand there and blink a few times. A quick review was in order, a short sanity check to reassure him that his senses were in working order. No, she was still looking at him in suspense – not crazy, then.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Uhh… great.”

Both remained rigid, eyeing each other with edgy apprehension.

“Well… guess it’s bedtime,” she concluded lamely. “See you in the morning.”

There was an art to shuffling out with discreet speed (not giving away your embarrassment). Reese was good at it. Her stride was naturally long; she could cover ground without appearing hasty. This didn’t stop her feeling the eyes boring into her back. It didn’t prevent her from concentrating too much on the sound of his footsteps behind hers as she ascended the stairs. She could even smell him – something of the bar still clung to him, alcohol and cigarette smoke, but it was blunted by the fresh air and dewy grass outside.

It was when she reached her door that a long fingered hand closed around her wrist. Her body had already begun to turn when the hand tugged it the rest of the way. She collided with his chest. Even before Justin’s arms closed around her waist hers instinctively reached around his back. When their lips met it knocked the breath from her lungs – though if it hadn’t, the force with which her back hit the door would.

He didn’t plan on any of it when he followed her upstairs. He planned to be the gentleman, to see what the morning brought. The trouble was that knowing she was interested killed the last of his ability to fight temptation.

“I know you said tomorrow but I’m free now?”

His lips parted so briefly from hers that she could still feel the movement of them as he spoke. Speaking was probably unnecessary anyway – the kiss was a conversation in itself. The tips of her ears were now so warm she was sure they must be glowing.

“Kind of short notice, but I’m not busy.”

His mouth was upon hers again even before the last syllable died. Blindly he groped for the door handle. Reese was leaning too heavily against the wood, so when Justin opened it they almost stumbled over; the alcohol they’d consumed over the evening didn’t help. They remained locked together regardless.

“Wait, wrong room,” she muttered.

Halting the kiss to briefly look up, Justin saw that they’d stepped into the guest room he no longer intended she used. Releasing her momentarily he took her hand and led her out, flicking off the lights as they went. The master was directly opposite so it was the work of moments to rush in, kick the door closed and gather her back into his clutches.  Over-eagerness set them both into a clumsy fumble with each other’s shirts, as if they could somehow get them over their heads without breaking the clinch (not physically possible, try though they might). It was a while since she’d had sex and longer for him. When you coupled that with how long they’d been apart it was not a recipe for finesse or taking your time.

While Justin attacked her neck and collarbone, warm hands sliding over her bare back, Reese was trying to get his sweatpants off. They were tied too snugly and wouldn’t give enough to slip over his hips. Her fingers pulled and tugged at the drawstring, her frown growing fiercer as she failed to loosen it.

“Jesus Christ, where the hell did you learn to tie knots?”

Ceasing his attentions he took the string and made his own attempt. A full twenty seconds went by before he realised they had a problem. “Shit, I can’t get this either.”

Their eyes met and in tandem they broke out laughing. This didn’t help Justin as he tried to work – it made his arms shake. Mild intoxication and tiredness hampered his dexterity. Reese was no use. When she wasn’t distracting him with glimpses of her now naked body she was too busy clutching her sides to offer assistance.

“This is sooooo sexy.”

“Shut up and help!” He protested through guffaws. The absurdity wasn’t lost on him either but she wasn’t exactly being useful.

“I don’t think those are coming off. Maybe we should just call it a night.”

“Hell fuckin’ no.” Justin gave her an arched eyebrow and a comic glare.

“I’m not kidding; I really don’t think you’re getting that knot undone.”

“I’m not kidding either – even if it takes scissors.” Besides the way they were sabotaging his game, they were digging in.

“Oh, wait…”

Reese dived into the bathroom and rooted through the drawers. Sure enough they yielded a pair of nail scissors. It would be cumbersome but doable. Moving back into the bedroom (making sure to close the door behind her, otherwise it would bug her), she pushed Justin’s hands aside and got to work. She had to saw at the string with the scissors, but with perseverance they would go through. He said nothing but stared at her bare body.

“Enjoying the view?”

Ignoring her sarcasm he gave a shrug. “I really am.”

“You’re a bad man.”

“God, finally!” He exclaimed as Reese succeeded and yanked the sweatpants down with a flourish. Red creases marked his stomach where they’d been pulled too tight.

She was still giggling manically as she embraced him and planted a kiss in the middle of his chest. Her ribs still shook and he could feel the movement of her face as she smiled against his skin. Hugging her back, Justin brushed his lips to her temple and kicked the pants aside.

“Real smooth,” she said. “Way to remind me what I’ve been missing.”

“Shut up, peanut.”

Backing Reese up towards the bed, Justin tried to take some measure of charge again. He wanted the mood in a more serious spot, not for their moment of incompetence to derail things (you wouldn’t think they slept together for years, this was first time level inept). Despite his sleepiness every nerve ending clamoured. He’d waited far too long to get her back, even leaving it until morning was unacceptable. At least he managed to be a little more suave as he laid her on the mattress and settled himself next to her.

Even as she smirked, she ran a hand through his hair and shifted closer to him. You might think someone’s body would lose the familiarity in all those months apart, but every ridge and line was right where her fingers expected to find them.

“I did miss this though,” she said into his ear before letting her mouth drift to his cheek. “Even how ridiculous we are.”

“You have no idea…” Justin cupped Reese’s face in his hands and interrupted himself for another couple of kisses. “How much I missed you.”

The obvious quip would be that the attempt to break up her wedding was a big clue, but somehow this didn’t strike her as the time. Wisely she shelved that remark and chose to resume the kissing instead.