Chapter Three

 I woke early the next morning carefully sneaking out of Justin's room to mine getting myself together so we could catch the bus. I had been so confused about the night before.  Never had Justin asked me to stay the night and things between us were becoming so different so much that is scarred me a bit. When I finally made it down to the lobby Joey informed me we would all be on one bus due to the short drive and everyone was going to be going to Justins.

The minute I boarded bus I felt sick, for there was Morgan, who decided to show up early and ride the bus with us to Memphis. I plastered a fake smile across my face and took a deep breath giving her a big hug.

"I've missed you. It's good to see you."

She nodded giving a small pat to my back and stepped  away from me giving me an odd grin. "Missed you too. But I had to see my honey. I couldn't stay away from him any longer. Thank you for watching him for me."

I had never felt so sick before in all my life. She looked at me as tho she knew, but I knew it was nothing more than my conscious, or at least I prayed it was nothing more than my conscious.

I had began to notice that Morgan and I were growing apart. Even though we talked....it wasn't like it used to be where we used to tell each other everything it was now casual conversation. Her job was taking over her life ,but dispite all that, I didn’t want to do anything that would hurt her.  Forcing my nausea away I gave her what I thought would pass as a friendly smile and mumbled a "No problem."  As I  crawled into the booth at the table getting situated for the ride. The next three days were going to be long and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to handle watching Justin and Morgan together. I had spend almost the entire trip trying to call my brother, but he never seemed to answer his phone.

We had arrived in Memphis and I was now stuck  at the Timberlakes watching Justin and Morgan make a fuss over each other like love struck teenagers. I ceased to exist in Justins eyes when she was around but I didn’t expect it any different....after all ....she was the one who was his girlfriend, I was nothing more than the stand in.

Lynn had been great enough to cook a huge dinner for all of us and we all managed to pile around the kitchen table and counters to eat together and laugh and talk and tell plenty of stories.  I had caught Justin watching me from the corner of my eye as I picked up the phone trying once again to call my brother and did my best to avoid looking directly at him.  I had told my stupid brother I was coming……where the hell was he. 

It had begun to snow pretty hard when we arrived in Memphis and by the time we hit the winding roads of Shelby Forest they were covered with ice and the snow was at least three inches and growing. It was a beautiful sight to see, for Memphis very rarely got snow, and when they did it was a few flurries and was melted by the next morning. Lynn had informed me that most of the town had lost power when the snow had first started the night before. It had stopped for a little while, but now was at it again with full force so if I was thinking of calling a cab it was out of the question and she was insisting that I was going to stay with them and it was no problem. 

I had always liked Lynn for she had reminded me so much of my mom and had a great spirit about her.We all pitched in a hand helping to clean up the kitchen as Paul built a fire in the fireplace and each of us found a spot somewhere in the family room to kick back and rest our full bellies.   I lost myself watching the flames dance together around the logs jumping higher with colors of blue and orange tangling together then moving apart as the flames lowered to return to each other again in an instant, jumping higher and becoming warming with their touch.  I couldn’t stop thinking of Justin and how those flames reminded me of how I felt everytime the tips of his fingers even grazed me setting me on fire. 

I didn’t know how I had let myself get so carried away with him……how I had let myself fall for him.  He wasn’t mine to have, but I was consumed with thoughts of him, of us, of the times we were together and I felt as tho my breath was being taken from me with every thought. I was so involved with my thoughts that I had never heard any of the  converstaion around me until a deep voice sharply spoke my name and I shook from my daze taking a deep breath to examine the room around me. 

All eyes were on me, making me extreamly uncomfortable and I cleared my throat repositioning myself in the recliner.

“Sorry I guess I got a little to relaxed, did I miss something?”

Eveyone in the room chuckled and it was Lance who leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and grinned looking me directly in the eyes.

“You don’t  talk too much do you?  We have been running our mouths nonstop for the whole day and you have barely uddered a word here and there.” 

 His smile was warm and I glanced around seeing all eyes still on me.  I was never one to be this quiet, but also wasn’t extreamly outspoken .  Morgan was always the outspoken one and I was the one to hang back and take up conversation where she would leave off  to move on. Kinda ironic with my relationship with Justin, I had to take up the slack when she wasn’t available.

“Rilyn is just shy, and a home body unlike the rest of us.  She is more interested in her hobbies and reading than she is with getting out and experiencing life.” 

Her words shocked me and stung as they echoed thru my ears and I sat up straighter in my chair clenching my jaw to control my anger and hurt as I spoke. 

 “I read a lot because I am studying for my career, not my hobby.   I am studying to be a nurse and that takes time and concentration to learn all that I need to know.  I want to help people and my studies don’t allow me to spend a lot of time partying.”

“That’s cool.”  Joey spoke up trying to save the moment.  “I think you wanting to help people is a great thing.  I know I wouldn’t be able to do that, I don’t have the patience to study.  Hey…when you get your license then you can tour with us and be our own personal nurse.  Lance is clutsy enough that he is always getting hurt."

Everyone chuckled, everyone except Justin that is,  and I braved it enough and looked toward him meeing him directly in the eye.  I couldn’t breath  and everthing around us seemed to freeze in time as I stared into those beautiful blue eyes. In the distance I could hear conversations going on around us but I couldn’t comprehend anyting as he motioned his head toward the hallway and I stood, my knees wobbling and moved toward the dark hallway making my way down to the bathroom door and stepped inside.

I never bothered to turn on the light or listen to see what excuse he was going to give, but instead leaned against the counter and listed to the pounding of my heart ringing loudly in my ears.  He was suddenly there in the dark and his hands slowly slide up the side of my legs and to my side where his arms circled my waist as he moved his body closer to mine.  His breath was hot against my ear and I felt the heat inside me raging  just having him near me.  I dropped my voice to a whisper to keep anyone from hearing me, but my breath was too ragged to even make a sentence.

“Justin…….”

His lips moved across mine and I parted them feeling his tongue slide along my lips and into my mouth seeking out my tongue. His kiss took what  breath I had away and my arms circled his neck as he lifted me up sitting me on the counter I had been leaning against and stepped between my legs. I finally pulled away needing to breath and took in a deep breath as he nuzzled against my neck.

"Justin........remember the rule.......never... when she's around."

I leaned my head back feeling his lips dance against my neck driving me to the brink of insanity.

"Yo....you made......the rule....remember."

Breathing was not longer an option, no matter how hard I tried. He had total control over my body and he was fully aware of that fact as his hands moved back to my legs grabbing the back of my thighs pulling me against him as he continued to hungrily attacked my neck mumbling against my flesh.

"She won't let me touch her."

I closed my eyes trying to block out his words, I didn't want to know any of their intimate details, the thought of him touching her made me sick, but a small part of me needed to hear what he was saying.

 "I need you so bad Rilyn."

I wrapped my legs around his waist holding on to him tightly as his hand slipped to the button of my jeans, and with movements so quick, unbuttoned them and pulled me free from them dropping them to the floor before I had a chance to conprehend.   I gasped losing all train of thought as his fingers brushed against my folds and without warning slipped quickly inside me.

"Jesus Justin."

I could feel his erection through his tight jeans as he pressed against me and I wanted badly to set him free and feel him inside me. "I don't want anyone else touching  you baby."

Not fully understanding where that had come from I  regained a small fraction of my senses to be able to speak.

"You don't........own me............you...have her."

I couldn't breath with the way he was working me. His long fingers sliding in and out of me like silk brushing my flesh.

"I lov........."

We both froze as someone knocked on the door. It was hard seeing Justin in the dark, but I could still detect the fear in his eyes when he looked up at me and placed a finger to my lips.

"Give me a minute."

I couldn't make out who the voice belonged to as they mumbled "Never mind", but I  heard them walk away as their bare feet scooted across the carpet. I reached down to move his hand as a wave of guilt took over me, but he wouldn't budge and  deep down I knew what he was about to say and I wanted so bad to hear it.

"We're going to get caught." I whispered.

I could make out him shaking his head, but he remained silent for what seemed like forever before he finally spoke a barely audible whisper. "I need..............I want to make love to you baby, please."

And  with those words I gave in.....I had to. I needed, wanted him just as bad.