I was so tired and doing all I could to keep my eyes open, but knowing I didn't have too much further to go kept me awake and going for just a little longer.

Two days....no three days...I had actually lost track of time and had no idea how many days it had actually been.  The day the argument broke out with the boys over Justin leaving the band they had managed to make up and allowed Justin to explain everything to them.  I had been right about Morgan.  She had told the boys that Justin no longer needed them and he was moving on with his life and taking the oportunity to break out on his own while they were on top.  He didn't need them any more. She had created so many lies to tell them and Jusitn simply kissed her forhead and said it was the boys that blew everything out of porportion, not her.  Whatever.   That day I was left alone at the house while everyone went off in their own directions and I took the oprotunity to get my life on a new road.      When everyone was settled into bed that night I took a cab to the airport and never slowed down. 

Once I arrived in Florida I packed what I absolutely had to have into my car, put the rest in storage, and climbed into my car heading to Memphis not bothering to look back.   And that was about three days.  I guess....I was still just confused.

When I was just 14 my parents were killed by a drunk driver who hit them headon when they were coming home from a dinner party one night.  My brother Jamie had just celebrated his 20th birthday and he was the youngest to be accepted into the firm Harless and Dugan and was now stuck having to raise me.  Harless and Dugan's clients were not just your normal everyday clients, but well to do and well know clients from all over the world.  To me they were almost like a secret societ, a moffia style group I used to laugh and say, but they handled their clients financial issue as well as their legal issues and Jamie had done very well for himself.  

When my parents died Jamie was all I had left.  We had aunts and uncles, but none we were close to and the ones that did come around when my parents died only wanted to see if they could manage to swindle any money out of us.  My father however had done business with Jamie's firm and had turned all his handlings over to Paul Harless.  Yes it was the Paul Harless that owned the firm that Jamie was part of so no matter how hard I tried I wasn't fully stepping away from Justin.  The other bad part....Jamie lived just a few housed down from Lynn and Paul.  I so needed a new life and Rilyn Faith Cooper had every intention of getting one.

It was gloomy as I hit the winding tree lined roads of Meeman shelby and I felt myself losing the battle and giving into my exhaustion as I made my way closer to the house.  Christmas was just a week away and it truly did not feel like it.  I had missed Thanksgiving all together somehow and to be quiet honest I was hoping to just miss christmas too.  My heart just wasn't into it.  Memphis was showing it's signs of winter and it was chilly and looked as tho it would pour rain at any minute, but spite all that I was glad to be home and wanted some sleep so I could get my self together.

The house that loomed in front of me as I turned into the long drive was a sight for sore eyes and I was more than happy to see it.  Jamie had sold our parents house before I ran off to Florida to live and bought this one and tho I always thought it was quite large for a single bachelor it was still a beautiful home and one that was always warm and inviting. 

I didn't hesitate one second as I quickly made myself up the drive and pulled into the garage that Jamie had kindly left open for me.  I killed the ignition, found my key to his house quickly, and jumped from the car grabbing the bag that sat in the front seat next to me getting myself into the house   I hit the button just inside the door closing the garage and locked the door making way thru the mud room, down a short hallway, and into the kitchen where I saw an envelope laying on the counter with Faith , the name Jamie had called me since the day I was born, written in large letters across the front.  I smilled at the writting and sat down on the stool forcing myself to stay a wake just a few more minutes to read the note my brother had left behind.

Hey sister Faith,

glad you made it, get some rest, get some food, and i will be home from the office early tonight so we can talk.  And your welcome to stay as long as you need till you find where you belong.  I missed you and I love you...

Oh and Justin has called me three times looking for you, what did you do to that boy?   Catch up with you later.

Jamie

I rolled my eyes and laid the letter down on the counter letting my finger lazily run along the edges as I followed it with my eyes.  Where I belong.   That was question I had no idea how to answer.  I had followed Morgan and Justin for so long that I had no idea what I really wanted or where I even belonged any more.  Pulling myself from the stool, I crawled my way up the stairs where I showered, slipped into some sweatpants and a t-shirt and climbed under the warm covers of the bed I claimed as mine to shut out my problems and get some much needed sleep.

I'm not sure how long I had slept, I couldn't even remember what time I had even arrived, but I knew from the comotion going on downstairs that it was late and Jamie was home, so I climbed out of bed and slowly made my way down the stairs to the kitchen rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"I hope I didn't wake you.  I tried to be quiet."

I laughed wrapping my arms around my brothers neck as he bent down to hug me and held onto him tightly feeling better at just seeing him.

"You have never been able to be quite J, don't even give me that one."

I kissed his cheek letting go of him and looked around the kitchen to see what he was doing to cause so much noise. 

"I was going to cook, but decided to order something so I could spend some time catching up with you.  Seems you have a lot to tell me."

I took the pitcher from the fridge watching Jamie from the corner of my eye as I poured me a glass of sweet tea. "What make you think I have a lot to tell you?"

He grabbed some paper plates from the cabinet and grabbed his glass from the counter motioning with his head for me to follow him into the den where I smelled the food waiting and a fire burning in the fireplace.

We both sat down in the floor around the coffee table and grabbed the containers from the table filling our plate with food and passing one to the other putting a little food into our belles before we even attempted to start a conversation.  I didn't realise how hungry I was or how long it had been since I had actully eatten till I swollowed the first mouthfull and decided to take it slow when I felt the rise of nause hit.

"So, sister Faith.....'

I laughed looking up to him and rolled my eyes.  "Will you stop calling me sister Faith, you make me feel like a nun.  Can't you stick with Faith."

"Nun you have not been apparently."  He said dropping his fork to his plate and cutting his eyes up to me.  "Justin has called four times asking me if I know where you are...."

"You said three I mumbled."  cutting him off and quickly shut my mouth letting him continue on as I looked back down to pick at my pasta with my fork.

"He called again just as I was coming in the door from work.  Faith, I know I have never questioned what exactly goes on with you and Justin or what type of relationship is really going on between the two of you, but I have a feeling there if more there than I want to know.  Justin is my buddy and I think of him like a brother, but Morgan is your best friend.  Your BESTFRIEND Faith.  What are you doing?"

I felt anger rise in me and threw my fork down to my plate pushing myself up to my knees and bore my eyes into my brother across from me.  "What am i doing....WHAT AM I DOING?  First of all Morgan doesn't even come close to being a bestfriend. You don't know her Jamie.  She is not the person you always knew.  She has shit on me more times then I even care to count and she plays Justin, she's destroying his life, his carreer, and ......"

"Wooo, Faith, calm down.  I wasn't trying to accuse you of anything it's just.....I hear the tone in Justins voice when he calls and I could hear it in your voice when you called to tell me you were coming home.  You love him and he loves you and until the two of you come to terms with that and admit that not only to yourselves, but to each other your both going to be misserable no matter what you chose to do."

He stood from the floor and began picking up containers stopping for just a brief moment to look down at me "Do some soul searching sis, and go with your heart or you'll regreat it for the rest of your life." 

I sighed and threw my hands over my face taking a deep breath as the shrill ringing of the phone sounded in the background and realised that maybe for once my brother was making some sense.