JC

The evening was perfect-the breeze blowing off the ocean was cool but not yet cold. The surf rolled in and splashed along the shore, just under the bright orange glow of the setting sun. Up on the rock, the two of them sat, feet dangling, fingers intertwined. It was almost romantic. It would have been, if the situation was different, but JC was feeling far from romantic.

He was settling in for the long haul, prepared for a drawn out, emotional story. He'd never been so eager to hear a long story so much in his life. Shelby was laughing, that sultry chuckle with the sexy undercurrent. He loved that sound, coming from her.

"I don't think I've ever told this whole story. I'm not even sure where to start."

Her hand, wrapped in his, was shaking. He squeezed, and then held it tight. Hopefully reassuring her. "Start at the beginning," he said. "I want to know everything. Forward and backward, up and down. All of it. For real, this time."

Shelby opened her mouth but no words came. Brave and determined, she pushed forward, at first just blurting words out as if she hoped they made sense.

"Well, for starters, Shelby Morris doesn't exist. Not in name, anyway. Morris is my mother's maiden name, and I took that name when I left Miami, because I thought it would make it harder for Melina to find me. That obviously didn't work. My name is Shelby Coster."

JC smiled and squeezed her hand again. "Nice to meet you, finally. And who is Shelby Coster?"     

She sighed into the sunset, not answering for nearly a minute before her gaze moved from the view to his face. "That's a good question. I'm hoping to find out, real soon."

Slowly, the story began to unfold. The happy childhood of the only offspring of mature parents, a child who had more run of the house than she should have, and was trusted with adult responsibility at a young age. Precocious and curious, Shelby was diving into sex and relationships when most of her peers were still playing with dolls or squealing over teen idols.

"I was probably having sex around... thirteen?" She squinted into the sun, recalling memories. "I know it seems young, but it really wasn't back then. A lot of girls were already having sex, except I was a freshman, doing seniors and college guys. I liked guys that could buy me things and take me places, in their cars. Buy beer and liquor and cigarettes, and real dinners, not fast food. I was never interested in hand holding and cheek kissing and ‘can I walk you home?' Fuck that."

JC laughed at her candor. Shelby was something else.

"I was always a real good kid at home, you know? My parents couldn't find out about everything I did when I was supposed to be at Robin's house. She was my best friend, by the way, and now she's my attorney. She and I could have got into some trouble, I'll tell you that. So at home I was an angel. To this day, my parents don't know about all the stuff I used to do."   

JC laughed, his head thrown back. "Yeah, my mom would faint, if I told her some of the stuff I've done. That is... that's just Survival of the Parents, right there. Above everything else, we need them to think we're good people."

Shelby nodded, laughing along. "Yeah, so... I was in college, at Miami U, because my parents would pay my tuition and books and buy me a car, if I didn't move away. Good deal, right? Well, I couldn't do half the crazy shit I wanted to do, because I was living at home. I tried staying out all night..."

Shelby shook her head, a stern impression of Renee's frown on her face. "Mom was not down with that. They started talking about giving me a curfew, saying the house wasn't a hotel, I couldn't come and go at all hours of the night. I was not down with that, because I mean, I was a Dean's List student, and I kept my grades up and I did whatever little thing they wanted me to do. They weren't having it. So I got a job, waitressing at this place just off campus. Putting money away, biding my time until I could get a little apartment. And once I did..."

"Went crazy, huh?"

"Dude..."  Shelby could hardly talk, she was laughing so hard. "I almost got kicked out of that place! I would have been so humiliated to go home, so I cleaned my act up real fast, but yeah, I lost my mind. Anyway, I couldn't waitress in the bar, because I wasn't 21. But hearing all the other girls talk, it seemed like they were getting better tips. You know how it is...you get a little tipsy, the waitress shows a little boob, you get a little happy and you leave a better tip. I wanted that, too.

"So, I was 21 years and one day old and I said to the manager, ‘I want to work the bar.' And he said, ‘no we have enough waitresses in there', and I said, ‘fine, I quit.' I went home, put on my best outfit, headed to the swankiest, fanciest place in town and said I wanted to waitress, but only if I could work the bar. They said, ‘it's tips only'. I said, fine.  In one month I made more than I had made in the last three months in the bar off campus.

"I started watching the Bartender, and learning about drinks, since I was serving them. It didn't seem hard, and I picked up the lingo, the combinations pretty quickly. All it is, is recipes. You learn the recipe, and learn how to enhance a recipe? Bob's your uncle, you're a great Bartender. He took me under his wing..." Shelby gave him a look. "And took me under some other things and places."

JC nodded, smiling. Understood.

"It was a lot like our relationship. You and I. Fun, crazy, just real casual. Here and there. Great dinners, great sex, not anything serious. He was teaching me a lot about the business behind the bar, too, you know? How to keep people coming back, how to get the most out of a bottle. The economics of running a profitable bar."

"Right. So that's where your dream of having your own bar came from."

"Yeah. Pretty much. That's where it came from."

"And so, you took over his bar, right? So, what happened to him?"

"Right. Well, his father got sick, back in Cuba. He had to take a leave of absence, and so... I took over. It was hard, and it was way over my head but I had an assistant that kicked ass, and I was doing it. Then I met the owner of the bar. Fresh out of a divorce." Shelby glanced up at him and then back down. "Millionaire."

"Uh huh."

"Yeah. So. He was lonely and I was poor and we kind of... helped each other out. And again, it was fun and casual. And sometimes if I was a good girl, he'd make a deposit into my account. I didn't really think anything of it-I mean my rent was getting paid. I wasn't looking a gift horse in the mouth."

"Right. No. Wouldn't want to do that."

Shelby smarted at his comment and recoiled. "I can skip over some of this, if you can't handle it. I mean, you asked to hear this, and I don't want you think I'm-"

"No!" JC held her hand, tighter if possible, apologizing with his eyes. "I-Shelby, no. I want to hear it. All of it. I don't think you're.... anything. Keep going. I want to know."  

A deep breath later, Shelby continued her story.

"So... I dated him for awhile, a few months. It was fun but going nowhere and he met someone else and I let it fade away. And then the money he gave me started to run out and I was desperate again. And trying to stay in school, because my parents were paying for it. I was burning the candle at both ends, working all night, going to class all day, sleeping when I could. I guess my body learned to live without sleep.

"About three months after I stopped seeing the owner of the bar, this guy walks in. Handsome. Older but kind of young looking. Young thinking. He slides up to the bar, slick as shit. Sends a $50 bill across the bar and says ‘top shelf scotch, honey. Keep the change.' So, of course, I keep him flowing with the good stuff, the VSOP, the cognac, the stuff in the back, not the cheap stuff up front. He and I chat here and there. He keeps coming in, and he's pretty much a regular, in a few weeks. I could set my watch by him, most days."

"This is Lucas, right?"

Shelby nodded.  "Meanwhile, my life is kind of a shambles. Having a hard time staying on the Dean's List, making all my classes, and working to pay the rent and keep up this lifestyle I've become accustomed to, dating men with money. Lucas just... would sit and listen to me bitch all the time about it. He'd tell me how tired I looked, and I would tell him how I was up all night studying and then I had classes and this and that. He would just nod, and tip me extra. I never...ever meant for him to do that. He just did it."

"Nice guy," JC commented. ‘Real nice guy,' he thought.  Shelby was a con artist, even if she didn't want to think of herself as one. He'd met more than one, in his day. Given in to more than one, too.

"Mmmhmm. Really nice guy. So he's a regular, now. Comes in every once in awhile off of his regular schedule, all dolled up in a tux or a nice suit. Now, I don't care how old you are, a man in a suit is a hot ticket, for me. I love the look of a man in a suit."

JC laughed. "Okay, then. Remind me to wear suits more often."

"He would come in, in his suit or his tux and have a drink or two. Talk to me till closing. Sometimes after. Never made a move, ever. Until one night he came in... it was early for him, probably around seven o'clock or so. He stops at the bar and says, ‘Miss Shelby, I have a question for you. I've got this function I have to attend next weekend. It's for our younger Real Estate Reps, and a lot of them aren't much older than you.' I remember he said the band was something like Hooberstink and I laughed so hard. He was so embarrassed and he said, ‘well how do you say it?' I was like... Hoobastank, Mr. Samuels. He was like, ‘I need a date and if you want to go, I'd love to take you. No pressure. Just let me know when I come in, tomorrow.'  And he slid his card across the bar, and walked out."

"So you went?"

She nodded. "I went. I had a great time. Dinner was great, he picked me up in this long Town Car, Kathy Griffin was there and did like a 30 minute bit and then the band played and he was so cute trying to dance. It was fun. And I think I was kind of hooked on being treated well. If there's one thing older men are good for, it's that they know how to treat a lady. Most girls my age wouldn't have experienced that, yet. Younger men are not taught how to be gentlemen. Present company exempt." She flashed a smile at him, before continuing her story. "And older men have the means to do it well."

"So you started dating him, after that?"

"Sort of. I mean, I never really meant to date Lucas. It just sort of evolved into that. He would ask me to attend this function or that function, because he needed a date. He'd always say, if it's the money, I'll be sure to reimburse you what you'd miss... you know, so I couldn't say I had to work, to get out of it. And really, I didn't want to get out of it. I liked being with him. He was fun. Kind of stuffy, but at the time I was eating Top Ramen and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and counting quarters for laundry. It wasn't like I was gonna say ‘oh, French food again? At that place where no one can get a reservation again? Gosh, we did that last week.' It was kind of an addiction."

"And...when did you start having sex with him?"

Shelby seemed uncomfortable, suddenly. JC worried she would stop, but she didn't. Through squirming and nervous hair pulling and tucking behind her ear, she continued. "The sex... uhm...well, the sex started happening because I started to feel like I owed him-"

"Did he say that?"

"No," she answered. Quickly. Maybe a little too quickly? "No, never.  But he was taking me out, more and more. And we were having a great time. He was easy to talk to and really young at heart, you know? Anyway, one time after some function or other, he kissed me. And it was nice. Wasn't gross. So I let him keep kissing me. And then a few weeks later, he took me to some Firm function in the Keys. We had a really nice, luxury condo. I was drunk off my ass; he was spoiling me to death..."

Shelby shrugged. "I slept with him. It wasn't... it wasn't what I thought it would be. You know? It was like... it wasn't bad at all. But it wasn't amazing."

"But you kept seeing him. And sleeping with him?"

She nodded. "By then we were seeing each other a lot and I was practically living with him. The lease expired on my apartment, and he offered to let me move into his house.  Once I moved in, it was ridiculous. He spoiled me rotten. I mean, really bad. I wanted for nothing... if I even thought I wanted something, it showed up the next day. He got a lot of pleasure out of putting a smile on my face."

JC knew the feeling, and felt sorry for the old guy. He never really had a chance.   

"In a really short span of time, I was so wrapped up in Lucas, and the nice things and the clothing and the jewelry and the trips that I dropped out of school. I wasted an entire semester that my parents paid for. I was a year away from being done, but I was too busy playing rich girlfriend to care. And I was a snob. I was evil and catty and stuck up.  I lost all my friends, really, when I started dating him."

"So... when did you start feeling like it was too much, for you. Or did you, ever?"

"After he asked me to marry him. I was so surprised, actually. Lucas and I said I love you like we said good morning. It really didn't mean as much to me as it did, to him. I don't think I realized that, until much later. When he proposed, he opened the little box and the ring ...well it was blinding, it was so bright, and it was so fantastic and I was so greedy that ‘yes' popped out of my mouth before I could even think about it.

"After we got engaged, Melina went on a rampage that hasn't stopped, since. She hated me from the first time she met me. Most of his kids-he has three-were coldly polite. They're not much older than I am, just a few years, so I'm sure that was weird. We would have gone to the same schools, if I lived, you know, in rich areas. Or went to private school.

"Anyway...Melina hated me. Blamed me for everything. If Lucas went to the doctor and the doc said he had high blood pressure, that was my fault. If Lucas mentioned losing a squash game, well he must have been distracted because of something I did, or said. She sniffed around a lot, tried to be close to him, but he would tell me things about her that would curl your toes-"

"Like?" He interrupted, leaning in. "I'd like to hear some dirt on her."

Shelby chuckled to herself. "Like...she was a thief. She'd rob you blind, right under your nose. Nordstrom, house next door, people at parties? Goldmines for her. Lucas paid a lot of money to make a lot of things go away. She was always the most conniving of his kids. Very money hungry. He was to the point where he was ready to cut her off. And I mean, I wasn't going to advise him to leave her out of the will, but... you know... leave her out of the will!"

"Seems logical. That explains why she's all about your money."

"Mmmmhmmm," Shelby said, her nod vigorous. "Exactly. I was getting tired, though. Tired of the charade and the pretense. I liked him an awful lot, but I didn't love him and I wasn't sure, anymore, that I wanted to spend a big chunk of my life with him. Sometimes I hated the way he didn't stick up for me with his kids or with his coworker's wives, but he was a very nice man. He treated me well. He wanted the best for me and gave it to me-but I never had anything of my own. He would give me anything and he would buy me anything and I could shop with his credit card, but he would never hand me a stack of money and say, ‘here honey, go play with this.' It was all his. Always his. And he was conniving, in his own right. When I would start to complain, he would make sure I knew that I was replaceable. And that I had nowhere to go, and nothing to go there in. We sold the car that my parents bought me and he bought me a car. It was in his name, though. Not mine. So when I left, I had to leave the car, even."

JC had to laugh, at that.  "In one breath you make him sound like a sweet ass sugar daddy. In the next he sounds kind of evil."

Shelby seemed to mull his point for a long moment of time. Maybe her opinion differed from his, from the other side, or maybe this guy just had two faces. And maybe she couldn't decide which was the worst face.

"I think every man has his sugar daddy side," she said, when she was talking again. "I have found that men like women to be happy. It makes them happy to see a woman smile. Laugh. Have fun. And some of them will go to extraordinary lengths to make that happen." Shelby glanced up at JC, her eyes squinting in the setting sun. "And even you can be a little bit evil."

He didn't respond, mostly because, he guessed, it could be true. He preferred to call it passionate, though.

Shelby took her time moving on, watching the waves lap the sandy beach. "I didn't really see that evil side, though, until it was too late. And then I wanted out, and I couldn't find a way out. And I didn't have any friends to help me, because I'd been a nasty bitch to them all. My parents were just barely liking me, by this point, and forget any of Lucas' friends. They'd be on his side."

"Hold, please. Hang on a second," JC said, interrupting, nodding toward the beach.  His legs were numb from hanging off the side of that rock. It was cooling considerably as the sun sank below the horizon. If they sat there, they'd freeze. "My legs are falling asleep. Let's walk."

They climbed down from the rocks onto the sand. Darkness was spreading quickly and the beach was getting dark. Light poles began to flicker on every few hundred yards, creating a low hum around them. JC picked up her hand again and started walking, kicking up sand with the tip of his shoes.  

"So, tell me about the accident." Shelby sighed and hummed, like she had to get herself going to be able to talk about it.

"Well... the honeymoon was over before it even started. We'd been fighting a lot, almost every day. Clashing, bumping heads over every little thing. His kids were harassing him about the wedding, and in turn he was taking that out on me. He kept accusing me of thinking he was too old for me. I mean, truthfully, he was but I wasn't going to say it. So every argument I had against this venue or that flower or the other cake turned into me being ashamed of him. I swear, men are so emotional, sometimes."

"Hey, hey," he teased, squeezing her hand in his. "Sweeping generality, missy."

"Sorry, but I've never met a more sensitive being than a man. You guys just have no idea how to show it. Anyway, the day of the accident, we were in the car. The one he bought for me. I'd taken it that morning to be serviced. Had brand new tires put on, oil change, brake service, what have you. Went back to the house and he's all in a fury because I'm late, and we're supposed to be looking at a wedding venue. Some swanky place that his Real Estate buddy owned. I don't want to go. I don't even want to get married, at this point. He somehow gets me in the car, and we're going and we're arguing the entire way and I'm... done. I've had it. I made a U-turn in the grassy median, and I start heading back to the house.  We are fighting like cats and dogs and it's ugly and evil. We have never called each other the names we're calling each other. And I said something about leaving him. For good. Going to the house and packing and my dad can pick me up and I can just get the fuck out of his life. Today. He says to me, ‘So you can fuck your way into someone else's wallet.'"

"Wow. He said that?"

Shelby nodded, avoiding JC's pointed stare. "I'll never forget it. And I think I reached out and just punched him...."

"Shelby..."

"I did. I punched him," she repeated, laughing. "He pissed me off. I just clocked him in the head. It wasn't that hard, but hard enough to make him mad. And he reached over, with both hands, and like, wrapped them around my neck. And he was... he was choking me. And I was losing control of the car and pushing him and clawing at his fingers to let go, and we're going like, I don't know, about forty-five down this road.

"I hit something. A dip in the road, a rock... something. I just heard this... loud pop. It wasn't quite a boom. It was a pop, but it was loud. The car started to veer off in the direction of the explosion, because it's pulling, you know?"

"Mmmhmm," JC said, nodding. "Inertia, or... whatever. Right."

"We hit a few guardrails and he lets go but it's too late to correct and we flip and we flip and we flip..." Shelby's hand imitated the slow revolution of the car turning over and over in the air. "And the car lands upside down. And the impact is like... I can't even describe it. Have you ever been in a car accident?"

"Mmhmm," he said nodding. "A few. It's... yeah, that crunch is an indescribable sound."

Shelby nodded. "Yes. That crunch, that... it's the loudest most jarring thing, ever. I hear the sound, in my nightmares sometimes. So, I can't see, and I'm fucking screaming for Lucas and he isn't answering. I'm barely conscious and all I remember is people pulling me out of this broken window, I mean the opening was tiny...and yelling and thick, black smoke and this feeling of panic. I couldn't really breathe and then this... sonic boom and a flash of orange and this incredible heat, and like this... force that pushed me to the ground."

Shelby swallowed, hard, and squeezed his hand wrapped around hers, so hard her nail dug into his skin.  "Lucas was still inside."

The only word he could think of to fit the situation was, "Wow..."

"I think I passed out, after that. It was horrific to watch. I woke up in the hospital. I escaped with some heavy bruising, uhmmm..." She tapped her head, her fingers on her temple. "Some injuries but nothing permanent. I stayed for a few days, for observation, mostly. They let me out when I didn't show any brain damage."

"Damn. You were lucky."

Shelby scoffed. "Yeah, I don't feel lucky. For awhile, everyone was feeling sorry for me. And then, for some strange reason, the family did an autopsy on Lucas. It's not required, but they paid for one. I guess they needed to know some things that only the autopsy would tell them. And the results of that started this whole...nightmare."

"Uh oh. What'd they find?"

"That the accident didn't kill him." Shelby hesitated before going on, nothing but the sound of the surf and footsteps pounding through sand between them.  "They... they found smoke in his lungs and esophagus. If you're dead, you don't breathe that stuff in. So, he was alive and breathing the smoke in the car, before the gas tank exploded. That's not to say he would have survived the accident-they did say his injuries were extensive, and it still would have been my fault that he died. But he was alive."

Shelby nodded a few times, blinking back tears, swallowing a sob, her chin shaking with the effort. The wind kicked up and blew her hair across her face. Mindlessly she swiped it away and tucked it behind one ear and then the other. She cleared her throat and started talking, again.

"Once they-the family-- found that out, two things happened. The first being that Melina started saying that I killed him. To everyone.  I was driving, and it was my car, and I survived. She's convinced that he was about to break things off, and I somehow masterminded this accident, so that only I would survive. A few months before, after a particularly fun and sex filled weekend, he had already added me to his will, as a routine overview of his personal documents. I guess he had been planning to propose for awhile. It was to be edited after the prenup was complete, to include whatever provisions were made for me in that contract. I didn't even know."

"Hold on, what?" JC stopped, his brows tangled together in confusion. "You didn't know he put you in his will?"

Shelby shook her head, slowly. "Nope. I knew he was having a prenup drafted. We were supposed to look at a version in a few days. I already didn't want to sign that, but I knew I wasn't marrying for love. It was only fair, so..." She shrugged a shoulder, so calm and straightforward about it. She wasn't bragging but also didn't ashamed, either. It was what it was, all laid out in black and white, so to speak.  

"When you marry for money, you understand that your secrecy and fidelity are being bought. Lucas needed a contract to make sure that when he was 70 and had no teeth that I'd still be around. And even if I wasn't, then I wouldn't run off with all of his money. He made provision for me, should we ever split.  But no, I had no idea he'd already added me. And that was why his kids were giving him a hard time.  They already didn't want to split his fortune with his girlfriend. And then with his new, young wife who was the same age they were.  I was as surprised as anyone to be summoned to the Executor's office, so he could tell me that Lucas left me something. He had no choice but to do as the will dictated, but his family fought those few million like it was a billion dollars. Didn't want me to have a penny.

"So, I'm a greedy bitch, by this point. And angry. So angry and guilty, and hurt at everyone, at everything. At the world. I wanted it all. I wanted everything. I kept all the wedding gifts. All of them. Pots and pans? Wedding gifts. Dishes? Crystal vases, appliances, rugs, jewelry--I kept it all. I let them fight over the house. I didn't want that museum of a place, anyway. Melina made sure to tell me that I was to take nothing without her permission."

Shelby spit out the final word like it hurt to even roll around in her mouth. "Bitch."

"Yeah she's... she's not well. I read some stuff she wrote about you."

"Yeah, I've...I've read it all. Sometimes I would sit up nights and surf the web, and Google myself. Read her latest hate filled rant about me or my family. Or her latest theory about how I killed him and why. She's super special."

"I learned that lesson early on, to never read what people write about me. I'll never please everyone. And it's no wonder you never sleep. She's disturbing." JC shuddered... not because of the cool wind coming off the water, but because of the sheer evil of that woman. "You said two things happened after the autopsy?"

"Yeah. The second thing that happened was that I decided to file suit against the manufacturer of the tires on my car. All of the manufacturers were supposed to have fixed all of their tires, you know, after that Bridgestone Firestone suit years ago. We had the tires examined, what was left of them, and it was, without a shadow of a doubt, inferior. It shredded on impact. They knew they made an oopsie, and I wouldn't join a class action. I gave them an amount or said I'd see them in court, which would suck, for them. They countered it with a number I could live with. Millions in the triple digits. I accepted.  And the Samuels Family Trust was expecting a fat check for one third."

Shelby chuckled, an evil, haughty bout of laughter, and shook her head. "They never got it. There was never an agreement in place to give it to them. I never gave them any indication, whatsoever, that I was going to, and I don't know where they got the idea that I was going to. I took half of it and put it away, invested some and left some liquid. Bought a house and car in Orlando. Left town in the middle of the night.

"Melina, especially, was furious. It was like she'd already spent the money, or something. Her campaign against me has just gotten worse with every passing month, but since she had no idea where I was, there was nothing she could do." Shelby sighed. She seemed tired, worn out from unfolding her past.

"Until someone told her that they saw me on TV," she muttered. "In Orlando, dating a celebrity. A wealthy celebrity. It must have made her head explode to think I had moved on. I guess she must have figured I was up to my old tricks, and thought she would, you know... stop me."

 "And were you? Up to your old tricks?" He didn't even want to ask, but he had to. It came with knowing everything, forward and backward, up and down, inside and out. He needed to know what he was dealing with.

Shelby grew quiet, the answer to his question becoming obvious. It didn't matter, really. Except it did. He never figured himself for a mark, and he wasn't even sure how he felt about it. He never, for even a minute, considered any of the warning he received from Melina could be true.

Shelby was talking. Saying something. He could barely hear her over the surf splashing onto the shore. He leaned in as their walk slowed, so he could hear her.

"You weren't supposed to be so nice," she was saying. "And so sweet. And so much fun. The sex wasn't supposed to be so good, and we weren't supposed to have so much in common. I wasn't supposed to like you so much."

Their stroll stopped being a romantic moonlit walk, hand in hand through the dark. JC stopped, and pulled away from her, facing her, though he could just barely see her.

"But I was, I guess. And we did have fun and the sex was great. Amazing, even. Right? Was that really all it was supposed to be?"

"JC..." Shelby sighed, almost laughing. "Is it so bad that the answer is yes?  Does it hurt your feelings that I really never wanted anything from you?"

"But you did, Shelby. You did want something from me. You wanted me to work hard to not care about you, to treat you as an object, to enjoy the... what... ten hours I got out of you a week and never expect more. You wanted me to never ask questions and to accept this coy, mysterious thing you had going on and never wonder who you were, or where you were from. Or what you were doing to me. I'm not that kind of guy."

"That's not what I hear, about you. You can be that guy when you want to be." A raised eyebrow told him she was referring to rumors and innuendo about his sex life, particularly his post Kim sex life. It annoyed him to be defined by a period of time when he didn't even know which way was up. Especially when Shelby had been the one to prop him upright, again.

"Maybe I didn't want to be that guy with you, Shelby. Maybe there was something about you that made me want to get close to you, but I couldn't. Maybe you think you didn't want anything from me, but being with you has been harder any relationship I've ever had. Hiding shit from me didn't make this any easier, Shelby."

"Okay, maybe I wanted to meet someone fun and have a good time and not have it be because I felt like I owed him, for taking care of me. I wanted him to want me because... well, just because. I never meant for you to know all of this. I never meant for you to... provide anything for me or to feel like you had to take care of me. I never asked you for a thing, except good company."

"And you got that, tenfold. I never asked you for anything, either. So we're even. But you knew, Shelby. You knew three dates, five dates, six dates in, that it was about a lot more than sex. I'm not stupid, Shelby." JC nearly towered over her, a finger jabbing at his chest. "Neither are you. I know you knew it and you felt it, too. That night... when all you did was cry...."

He turned, thinking of just walking away, but he couldn't. Not without knowing everything. And why. "I know you felt it. You still couldn't tell me all of this? After everything we've had together, everything we've shared, you still couldn't let me in?"

Shelby shook her head, tears welling, glistening in the corner of an eye. "No. I couldn't, JC."

JC felt like screaming. Like if he turned around and fell to his knees, pounding his fists into the sand until they bled, she might possibly understand how he was feeling. The frustration was maddening.

"Look...I never wanted you to know the gold-digger. I never wanted you to know the whore. I never wanted you to see the girl that ran through men like water and treated them like her own personal bank account. You were never supposed to know that girl, because you've already known those girls. Those are the kinds of girls that chase after guys like you. Celebrities. Rock stars. Rich men."

She stepped back, taking a breath, gauging his reaction. "I moved away, to Orlando, to be a different person, to leave that spoiled, fucking bitch behind. To start over. I created Shelby Morris, a sweet, kind, quiet woman that wanted nothing but to rock your socks off. Just because. You'd have some fun with her and then like every other rock star on the planet, get bored with her and move on. Not try to rope her into being with you. But you.... You hung around. And you made me like you. And you complicated things by wanting to know shit about me."

"Yeah, sorry about that," he spit out. "I'm kind of nosy when people hide things from me. So this is my fault?"

"Did I say that, JC? This is not about you! This is all me, all on me. Mine. No matter what we feel for each other, I should have avoided you like the plague. I know that. And I'm sorry, JC. I'm so sorry."

She stepped forward again and tried to pick up his hand again, but it was deep in the pocket of his jeans. In the shadows and minimal light, she could see the deep lines in his forehead and the straight line set of his mouth.

"I'm not sorry that we met. And I'm not sorry about anything that happened between us, but I am sorry I didn't think things through, and I didn't think about how it would affect you. I thought I had left this all behind, here in Miami. I was stupid to think it wouldn't follow me to Orlando."

JC was quiet. Not speechless, he just didn't know which set of words to let out of his mouth first. The angry ones, or the hurt ones, or the understanding ones.

‘Damn, I am stupid. Yet another sign that I should turn around and walk away and leave this girl to her fucked up life. And I can't. I can't even imagine leaving, right now. Fucking sap. I must really love this stuff.'

"So, that's it," he said, his eyes hard, his forehead creased. "The whole story."

"That's most of it," she answered, staring up at him. "I'm sure more will come up later but...that's everything I never wanted you to know, that you had to find out in the ugliest way possible."

"Thanks for sharing," he offered flatly.

"You wanted to know. You asked for everything." A beat or two of silence passed, and then, meek and shy and quiet, she asked, "Are you disgusted? Sorry you came down here, to hear all of that?"

"I don't know what to think," he said. "I don't think I heard what I expected to hear, though I'm not sure what I was expecting." He shrugged, hands still buried in his pockets. "I think I might be pissed off, kind of angry, but I get it. I know why you couldn't say anything. And I'm still here. I will say it every day of your life if I have to. I'm not going anywhere."

"JC...." Her eyes popped wide open. Like she'd expected him to storm off into the moonlight, kicking up sand in a tantrum. It wasn't like he hadn't considered it. It just wasn't his style.

"Listen, did you hear me, back at your house? When I said I was prepared to fight you on this? I was serious, Shelby. I'm... I think I'm mad, but I'm not going anywhere. I didn't drive all the way down here to walk away when I heard everything."  He kissed her forehead and stepped back, trying to find her face. "So, now what? You came to Miami because... why? To confront Melina? Bash her face in? Kick her ass? Can I watch? Cause I kind of hate her."

Shelby was laughing. He liked the sound of it. That whole theory she had, about men liking to make women happy, to see them smile, and hear them laugh? He was starting to think there was something to that.

"God I wish," she said swiping at tears, first from their conversation and then from laughing so hard. "No, uh. I saw my attorney today, and we called a meeting with the Lucas Family Trust. I expect Melina to show. I decided to go ahead and split the settlement money with the family. In exchange, we want basically a gag order. They can never talk about the agreement, they can never talk about me, and Melina can't go on one of her internet rampages anymore. One violation and they have to return every penny to me, plus interest."

Shelby gave him a look, a slight smile with a raised eyebrow. "They won't want to do that. I have a wire ready to go. They just have to agree to it and call off their bulldog."

"And that makes everything go away? Magically?"

"I don't know," she answered, walking around him, continuing down the beach. He followed. "I hope so, though. For good. I never want to deal with the Samuels Family ever again. I want every return to Miami to be a happy occasion, from now on."

The beach was pitch black ahead, except for an orange flame licking at the air. The fire pit dwellers were out. JC reached out and grabbed her sleeve. "Hey. Hang on."  Shelby stopped and he turned her around, into his arms. The wind kicked up, blowing her hair around them, whipping an icy cold breeze off the water, across their ankles, and through light jackets.

"Listen, Shelby. I know your parents probably expect you back, but I got a hotel room. It's not far, from here, actually. Nice beach view. It's cold out here, and dark out here. I can't see you. And I've missed you. And I don't want to take you back until we're done talking. Come back with me."

Her eyes narrowed, and she tried not to smile. "This makes twice that I've heard JC Chasez ask me to come home with him."

 JC smiled. "Lucky you. I brought a surprise for you."

"Yeah? What is it?"

JC turned and started back toward the parking lot. Over his shoulder, he teased her. "You'll have to come with me and find out."

Shelby

It felt so good, to get all of that out. A candid, no holds barred version of the story of her life, pretty much. If she had her preference, she'd never tell it again. Bury that bitch and never dig it back up again. Start over. All over again.

Shelby let JC drive to the hotel. She still didn't really believe he was really there and really with her. She kept reaching over the armrest to touch him, to let her hand rest on his knee or his leg, and then pulling it back. He finally took her hand and held it and didn't let go, despite how awkwardly he had to drive.

JC pulled into the lit, covered entryway of his hotel and they both got out. He tossed the key to the valet and led Shelby inside and up the elevator to his room. He swiped the keycard, pushing the door open at the beep and let her inside, flipping light switches along the way. The sounds of the ocean outside, waves crashing on the beach sounded soothing, really nice. JC drew the long curtains closed against the dark of night.

"You thirsty?" He headed across the room, to a refrigerator with a glass front that appeared to be stocked full. "Beer? Pepsi? Water?"

Shelby sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked off her shoes, wiggling her toes. She hadn't realized how cold it was out there on the beach. She'd been so into her story, pushing it out, that the weather wasn't a concern. "Water. My mouth is dry, from all of that talking."

JC dug two water bottles from the refrigerator, uncapped them and handed her one and then sat next to her. They sat for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet. 

"So..." he finally said, breaking the silence. "I'm proud of you."

Shelby's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "For?"

"For... owning up to everything. You did what you had to do, to bring an end to all of this. Not running away anymore. Not hiding anymore. And for telling me everything you told me, thinking I would hate you. That had to be hard."

"I'm no hero," she said, groaning. "Really. I'm a big ass coward, is what I am."  She sat back a few inches and swung a leg up under her, balancing her water bottle on her knee. "I would have never come back out here if I didn't have to. I only did it because my lawyer said we might have to drag you into it, and I didn't want to do that. This was the only way, we thought."

JC had been poised to take another sip, but the bottle lowered. He blinked, his head titled. "Wait, what? You're doing this because of me?"

"Well, not just you. I don't want my name in the papers anymore than you do, but I also don't want your name attached to mine in a bad way. You don't need that, not right now, while you're going in a new direction. And I don't want to bring that to you."

JC stared at her, and then his eyes moved slowly about the room, but he didn't seem to really be looking at anything in particular. Suddenly, his eyes darted back to her. "So... you're giving up part of a settlement that you won. And giving it to people that have no legal right to any of it? I mean, they would have sued for it, if they thought they could get some of it, right?"

Shelby shrugged. "If they could find me, I guess..."

"So you're just giving up? Shelby, that's not right...."

"What else am I supposed to do, JC? I can't keep hiding.  Melina will keep up her rampage. Who knows what she'll print, if you don't respond to that package she sent. She could ruin your life, JC. I don't know what else to do."

"There has to be another option besides paying them off. Why can't the family tell Melinda... or whatever her name is..."

"Melina."

"Whatever. Why can't they shut her up?"

Shelby chuckled. "They hate her, too. They don't want to deal with her anymore than I do. It was easy to let her be the bad guy and say all the things they were too polite to say. When it comes to her, they keep their distance."

His arms flailed in frustration, his words coming out in a stutter. "What-what-what-what I'm saying, Shelby... is that there are more of them than there are you. Just like me, they have a lot to lose. A lot more than you do. They can't want Lucas' name in all of this, all out in public again. There's a whole Empire with his name on it. They won't risk it for... excuse my French, but some chick he used to screw. It's obvious Melina just wants her piece of the pie that was supposed to come to the family."

"Yeah..." Shelby nodded, the wheels turning. "Soooo..."

"So, we talk to the family. At this meeting. And we basically tell them to tell Melina to back off, or we're filing suit for slander and libel and harassment and trespassing and everything else we can think of."

No matter how many times she heard the word ‘we' it still sent butterflies through her belly and a shiver up her spine. She smiled and dipped her head, then shyly looked up at him. "You're going to my meeting? Or just giving me instructions?"

"Both," he answered. "You're not paying her to protect me. You're not handing over some money, hoping you can fade into the sunset. You'll march into that meeting, and I'll be right behind you and you'll tell her to shut her fat mouth or you'll stick a lawsuit in it." He nodded, then. A final gesture to ensure that he meant business.

Shelby sat next to him, in shock and amazement and awe... and lust. "I'd ask if you were sure," she muttered, "but... I kind of like this side of you."

"Yeah?" JC bent to set his water bottle on the floor, then grabbed hers and set it on the floor as well, then twisted and scooted up on the bed so he was face to face with her. "You like the pissed off, bossy me? People usually don't like bossy me."

"I do. It's hot."

"Oh. Well. Maybe bossy me will stick around."

"He should. I like him." Shelby leaned into him, closing the space between them. Open mouths meshed together, tongues slowly intertwining, moans softly rising out of both of them. JC moved further up onto the bed, gently pushing so Shelby laid back against the bed. A leg laid over her body and his hands buried themselves in her hair as he kissed her like he hadn't seen her in weeks, months, years, instead of mere days.

"I missed you. God, I missed you," he said, in the brief moment their lips were parted. Shelby mumbled something in response, muffled by his mouth. "Hmmm?"

"I said..." She broke away from him, laughing as he busied his mouth around her face, across her cheeks, down her neck. "I said I'm sorry."

"Don't," he whispered against her neck, his eyes closed. "Let's just enjoy this, right now. It's special. Know why?"

She shook her head. "No. Why."

"Because it's Friday." He wiggled his brows at her, and then checked his watch. "Actually, damn near Saturday. We've never had sex on a Saturday."

She giggled, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. "Oh. That is special."

"Mmhmmm," he agreed, nipping at her neck. "Oh."

"What?" He had stopped, suddenly. Pulled away, moved off of her, off of the bed. She sat up, watching him. "What's wrong?"

"Your surprise," he said, lifting a finger and heading toward the mini fridge, opening the front door and retrieving a small, familiar box. Her face brightened the moment she saw it.

"Oh my God. I don't even believe it."

"Believe it, baby. I knew if I found you that you would want some of this." He set the chocolate torte, in the pretty white box with the Dessert Lady emblem on the lid down on the bed next to her and dug two plastic forks out of the box.

"You know me so well." She sat cross-legged on the bed, waiting for him to do the same. They each took a fork and dug into the torte, not even bothering to cut slices. Bite after bite, they devoured the mini-cake, drank their water, listened to the muted sounds of the ocean outside.

"That was good. I needed that," he said, picking up the empty box with the chocolate coated round disc that the cake had been sitting on and both of their forks.

"You needed that for what?"

"I needed to hit the reset button, for us. Take us back to something familiar." He tossed the box into the garbage and came back to the bed, kicked off his shoes and climbed up next to her. "I needed to remember, and to remind you about us. About what we are and what's normal for us. A date, and some good times and some good talk is normal for us. Red wine and chocolate cake and good sex is normal for us." He reached toward her hand, but didn't pick it up, just stroked the back of it, played with her fingers. "All this hiding and lying and secrecy is not us. Not anymore. Okay?"

 "Okay."

"C'mere." He tipped his head, beckoning her with a sparkle to his eye. "Lemme taste that cake."

She leaned into him, smiling, feeling warm and comfortable and at ease for the first time in... years. He welcomed her into his arms, pulling her close, leaning back so they laid together in the middle of the bed, and then rolling her so he leaned over her. Only then did his head lower and he kissed her. Not madly and passionately like she wanted him to and was craving from him, but softly and gently, with care and patience. He pulled back, pushing wind-tossed hair away from her face, his eyes fixed on hers.

"You okay?"

"Mmhmmm," she said nodding. "You?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. So happy to be here, with you." He leaned down again, his lips taking possession of hers, deep breaths sucked in through his nose. He seemed encouraged by her arms wrapping themselves tightly around his neck and her body arching upward toward him. They kissed and gulped air and moaned and writhed until they couldn't resist, anymore.

In a flurry, clothes were pulled off of bodies flushed red with sexual excitement. JC pulled back the thick bedspread and the sheets and they crawled inside, one after another, giggling and kissing and humming, not wanting to part for even a second.

"Okay, JC..." Shelby was over excited and found it hard to breathe, pushing him back, just a bit. "I just... I... I want to make sure that you understand, like... everything. I mean. I don't want you to do this now and resent it tomorrow, when you've had some time to think and digest it. It's a lot to take in, I know, and-"

"Shelby." He silenced her with his lips and when he pulled back, the look in his eye kept her from trying to talk again. "I'm fine. Not thinking about that right now. Let me uhm...process it. But I heard you. I heard everything you said and I'm okay right now. So let's just work off of that. And deal with the rest in the morning."

Shelby swallowed, just looking at him. Wondering if she had told him everything, right away, would he still be there with her? Or would he have run for the hills, tail between his legs, scared out of his mind about all the drama that surrounded her. Did he even understand why she kept so much from him? Selfishly, it kept him around her more because if he knew, he'd surely run. On a deeper level, he couldn't be affected by what he didn't know. At least, until someone opened their big mouth, and let him know what he didn't know. And then he was affected by everything.

"I get it," he said, answering the question that must have been written all over her face. "I get everything. I get the weird look on your face when I brought up your past. I even get why you don't sleep, but you were both in that accident. You had every chance of being hurt or killed, just like Lucas. You didn't kill him. It was faulty mechanics, and I know you know that. And maybe you don't think you deserve the money you got from it-well, then do something good with it. Ease your mind. You can't undo any of this. You just... all you can do is move forward."

"I know. I know." She actually yawned, a wide mouthed, loud, groan filled yawn. And then came a fit of nervous laughter. "Oh my God. That was right in your face. I'm sorry!"

"Coming from an insomniac, that is music to my ears." JC reached over her to snap off the lamp, and then pulled her to him, tucking her into his chest. "Rest, Shelby woman. We can take our time, now. No rushing off in the morning. Won't it be nice to not have to leave? To not have to say goodbye?"

She meant to say "Yeah." She meant to nod her head in agreement and snuggle up closer to him, his warm, soft skin that still held a hint of soap scent, and just enjoy being in his arms for awhile, but she couldn't.

She was asleep.