Another long night alone in bed doesn't help all the thoughts that seem to be non-stop through my head. I couldn't shake the feeling that there were things that I didn't know. There were things about Justin that I didn't know. He was coming home today and there was a part of me that almost wished he wasn't coming home because I had no idea what I was going to feel like when he stepped through the front door of my apartment. I wanted to see him, I missed him but there was going to be a bit of a dark cloud that would be in the room when I first saw him.  I couldn't let this go. I haven't said anything to him about the comment Nicole had made. I wanted to wait until he was home and in front of me before I asked that question.

            I needed my best friend. I needed some kind of conformation that I wasn't making a horrible mistake. I was standing in the kitchen drinking a piping hot cup of coffee when I heard my door open. I knew instantly it has her.

"I thought we had lunch plans today Emily." Lexie says as she stands next to the coffee pot.

"Sorry, I haven't even got dressed yet."

"What is wrong with you? You should be overjoyed with excitement. You are getting married."

"Yea. I know." I sip from the coffee cup not even looking at her.

 She sits down at the island in the room. "Em, what's wrong?"

I turned to look at her, "I needed you to support me. It doesn't matter what my choice is at the end of the day. You should support me... because when this does end badly... I'm going to fall apart and I'm going to need the one person I have left in t his world to help me."

"I'm sorry. I was shocked."

"Shock wears off within a month. You just didn't approve of this choice and avoided contact with me so you wouldn't have to deal with it. That hurt Lexie."

"I'm sorry. I really think you guys moved too fast. I didn't know what to do." Sympathy wasn't her greatest quality.

"You should have just supported me."

"I should have... but I'm here now." I almost believe her. "Wait, you think this is going to end badly?"

"I have so much going on in my head right now I can't think straight."

"Is this about the tabloid reports?"

"Kind of... but no it was something Nicole said when she was leaving the office the day I fired her."

"You fired her? Why? Never mind... forget it back to what she said."

"She said she slept with Justin."
She sits up straight in her chair. "When?"

"I didn't ask. I didn't want her to think I believed anything she said."

"But do you?"

"No... But is still bothers me. I guess there are a lot of unanswered questions."

"Have you asked Justin about it?"

"No, he comes home today. So I'm going to see him and ask him then."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I can see that this is really bothering you. You need to talk to him."

"I will tonight."

            I didn't want to be in public anywhere but I couldn't be alone in that apartment one more minute. When I returned there this afternoon, Justin would be there. I was not nearly as excited as I should be for my fiancé to be returning from a weeklong trip. I knew that the first thing I needed to do was ask him about Nicole.

            Those damn paparazzi have started to track my every move. A simple task out to lunch with Lexie is a total mob scene. I wasn't sure how much I could handle of this. I'm not used to being the one they wanted pictures with. I have been to plenty of openings and premieres with my clients and had to push them along but it was different when I was standing in street clothes, walking into a diner, without Justin and they are still trying to get something.

            The tabloids are out of control and even as his PR Manager, there was nothing I could do control it. I wasn't confirming anything. I wasn't doing anything. I felt like I wasn't doing my job at all anymore. I was so consumed with these accusations as his fiancé. I had officially become consumed.

"I'm home!" Justin bellows as he enters the apartment.

The pit in my stomach is now the Grand Canyon. I was sitting upright on my bed with my knees against my chest and my hands wrapped around my legs when he walked in. He sees me with my eyes tired and red from lack of sleep.

"What's wrong babe?" he says as he drops his bag on the floor reaching out to kiss me on my forehead. That has always been my favorite thing in the world. It felt like a shiver down my spine this time.

"I need to ask you something." I say in a soft monotone voice.

He sits on the bed directly in front of me. "You look so tired."

"I haven't slept in days. I think I'm in a state of insomnia."

"Em, what's wrong." He takes my hand.

The thought of my mother runs through my mind. Em... the tears start to roll.

"Em... I forgot I'm sorry... I thought being your fiancé I could call you that by now."

"I... I... hearing that and thinking of my mother at this moment isn't what I need."

"Just say it... What's on your mind?" His face starts to turn a flushed shade and water resides in his eyes. "Are you ending this?"

I couldn't let his tears stop me, "Did you sleep with Nicole?"

"What? No. I told you I haven't been with anyone else. What's going on that you haven't told me?"

"The day she was fired she said she had slept with you."

"And you believed her?"

"No, however I couldn't shake the feeling that she was telling me something I didn't know. She was serious as stone when she said it."
"Nicole was being fired. I would have said something to piss of my boss that just fired me as well."

            I never thought about it like that. It never even dawned on me that she could have been just saying that to see if she would get a reaction from me. I guess she got exactly what she wanted, thankfully she never saw it.

            At that moment I felt the weight on my shoulders disintegrate. I felt relieved. I felt ok again. I needed to hear that directly from him. Maybe I just needed him to wrap those strong arms around me and hold me, whisper I love you in my ear. Whatever it was I felt at rest with the situation.

            Eventually getting out of bed we opted for dinner and a movie. Date night. I felt like the giddy teenager that hopelessly falls for the boy. A simple gesture of their hand being placed into yours gives you the butterflies you can't control. I loved the part of Justin that was touchy feely. It wasn't the best thing to do for the cameras but at some point you have to do what you want and not worry that they will get photos of your intimate moments.

            For the first time in five nights, I was able to sleep. When I woke up the next morning I felt refreshed. I needed a relaxing day with just him and I. Nothing in Justin's world was calm though. Just something as simple as walking down the street was a difficult task for him.

"I could do this forever..." Justin says pulling me closer to him.

"This." I climb on top of him and start kissing down his chest.

"Well that yes, but I am talking about just laying in bed with you, escaping from the cruel cruel world that is out there." He points out the window.

"You live a privileged life Mr. Timberlake. You don't know what cruel is."

"I beg to differ. I have had my heart broken. I have felt heart ache. I have had things I wanted badly and not gotten them."

"But you are still Justin Timberlake... life isn't that cruel."

"And you are about to be Mrs. Justin Timberlake... the world is looking up for you."

"Oh I'm not changing my last name."

"What? Why wouldn't you change your last name?"

"Because I think Emily Clarkson has more of a ring to it than Emily Timberlake does."

"That's only because that's what you have been used to for thirty years. It's time for a change."