I was engaged for just about two minutes. I guess I should just be lucky that I got out when I did. What else could he have been lying to me about? If he would lie about something minor from his past, what is currently going on that I don't know?

I kneel down to wipe the dirt off her stone. Her name finally becomes clear to read again, Victoria Marie Clarkson. ‘Beloved Mother' rests right above her name. I begin to sob more, even though I didn't think I had any tears left. I begin to talk to her, "Well I thought I found a good man. I thought I found someone I would be proud to stand next to for the rest of my life. I was wrong yet again. I should have known... I should have listened to my gut instinct. Why is it so hard for me to find someone to trust and love... why is it so difficult to have them both? Why is it that the people I love most in the world I end up losing?" I lowered my head feeling empty, "I need you more now than ever... I miss you so much."

I'm not sure if I expected to get some clarity out of this or just to get it off my chest but I felt a little relived. She would have been the one person I would have gone to if she were still here, so it was only the right thing to do now.

The drive back to Los Angeles was a quiet one. I tried listening to the radio but it only made me cry even more. There was either a song that made me cry or hearing his voice. I guess this is what I deserve for dating a client. This is the payback that I get and I have to deal with it.

I had convinced myself that they best place for me to be was in the office. I know that I had to handle this sex tape situation. I knew I had to talk to the police and I had to pray that the press hadn't heard a thing about it yet.

The office was buzzing about something but it didn't sound like any of my clients were involved. Maybe I had got lucky and this was going to stay out of the press. Doubtful. Highly doubtful but I can sure hope so.

Tracey met up with me in the hallway leading to her office. "LAPD will be here around nine and they need the copy of the DVD."

"Justin has it. I will have him get it over here as soon as possible."

"I will handle it. Don't even worry about it... how are you doing this morning?" She asks as we enter her office.

"I went to my mother's grave this morning, does that explain how I'm doing..."

"You are the last person something like this should happen to. How is Justin dealing with it all?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "You would have to call and ask him that."

"You haven't spoken to him?" She sounded surprised.

"Not since I gave him his ring back last night."

"Emily... why? Over the sex tape... these things happen. He is a celebrity."

"It is because of the tape but not because of the tape." I shake my head and attempt to clarify. "I asked him bluntly if he slept with her and he said no. He said no. Then the tape contradicted what he said to me... and you know what he never defended himself. He just stood there."

"Maybe he was shocked?" she asked.

"Are you on Team Timberlake?"

"God no... I'm trying to take all this in."

"I'm trying not to think about dinner for one. I'm trying not to think about not hearing I love you's from him anymore..." I'm a strong girl I have done it pretty well for thirty years, I think I can handle a couple more.

"Emily... I'm just so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this go away."

"Me too."

I had really become very happy with my life. I loved him and I loved being with him, but was obviously not supposed to happen. There were other plans for me in this life.

            As I approach my office I see Cheryl trying to wave me down while she is on the phone. So I stopped and wait for her to finish her conversation. As I stood there, I felt like there was someone staring at me from behind me.

"Em." I felt the goose bumps form over my entire body and a chill run down my spine. It was his voice. Why hadn't I thought they he would come here? He knew I would still go to work.

I whispered, "Justin. Please go." He was dressed in the very same clothes he was in last night, the quick glance I got of his eyes looks like he hasn't slept at all. I scuffled passed him brushing up against him ever so slightly sending shock waves down my body to get into my office. I walked over to my desk dropping the things out my hands. I hear the door close. I felt the weakness of my knees begin to crumble. Before I could grab a hold of the desk I felt his arms wrapped around my stomach. He had prevented me from hitting the floor.

I ripped his hands from around my waist. "I don't need you to save me."

"Emily, don't do this." He begged.

"Don't do this?" I was angry now, "You did this. You fucked up."

"You promised you wouldn't run."

"And you also promised not to lie to me. I guess we both can't do what we promised each other."

"It's not like that. I just... I ... "

"Justin your excuses will get nowhere with me. So you can either leave willingly or I will have you removed from my office. I'm sure the press would love a photo of you being removed from your ex fiancé office."

"Fuck that I don't care what happens to my career. I just want to talk to you. You left last night without allowing me to say anything."

I interrupted him with such sternness in my voice. "NO, Justin you stood there caught with your dick between your legs in a lie and you find out way out of it. You could have said a hundred different things a hundred different ways but you chose not to. So please, just leave."

"Will I ever get the chance to explain myself?"

"It's doubtful. Now please go. I have an enormous mess to clean up from your fuck ups."

"I didn't know she was filming that. I swear I would have never..."

"Justin." I hissed, pointing at the door as I continue to look straight at my computer monitor that wasn't even on yet. "The door is behind you."

Tears start to roll down his face.  "Every fiber of my being will always be in love with you."

"Justin." I said, as he paused hoping to hear the same thing. "Tracey needs that DVD for the police, please make sure she gets that this morning and shut the door behind you." I look back at my computer screen, hoping he would walk out the door and when he did I felt a piece of my heart break again.

            Los Angeles police department arrived shortly after Justin left my office. I had no time to get my feelings and emotions in check before they got there. I must have appeared to be an emotional wreck when they got there.

"Ma'am we can reschedule this meeting if something else has come up."

"No, this needs to be taken care of. It needs to be over with as soon as possible."  I clear my throat and prepare myself for all the questions.

The police officer looked down at his paperwork and begins his questions. "What is your relationship with both parties?"

"Nicole Cunningham was an employee until last week. She was fired for not following a confidentially agreement. Justin is my fiancé." I knew that if I would have said wasn't my fiancé the firestorm behind it would be worse.

"And where is he?"

"I would assume at his house. I'm not quite sure to that answer."

"He should be here."

"Sir, I'm not sure if you are aware of whom he is... but he is a very high profile person and this would be damaging to his public image. I would like to keep this as quiet as possible."

"I understand our concern. We will have to see him though to file a report."

Tracey interrupts me, "I will get him, just give me a few minutes." She looks over at me and mouths, "I'm sorry."

Just moments later he walks back into my office. I sit back and listen to what he has to say , taking it all in.

"I had no idea she was filming this. That very night someone slipped something into my drink. I was supposed to be the designated driver. I had one jack and coke and was going to drive home but I didn't feel well so I called a cab, but then this person that I recognized, however I didn't know the name of said she would take me home. I didn't think I would be going back to her place nor did I think I would wake up at her house the next morning."

"Did you see her again after that sir?" the officer asked.

"No, I ended up taking time off from work and staying at my beach house to recollect my thoughts."

            He disappeared when I joined Shinetime That's where he was...

"Did you have an argument with someone that night?"

"No, I had broken up with my girlfriend, weeks prior but not big deal. I had only been at the bar that night for maybe two hours before I felt sick... Why exactly is this important?"

"I just need all the details. Make sure all the facts come together... In the morning, did you know who this woman was, did you remember how you knew her."

"Yes, I still didn't know her name but I knew she worked at my PR firm. I remember seeing her in the office a couple times."

"Do you remember having sex with her?"

"At first I didn't, I couldn't remember anything from the night before. I thought I had when I woke up naked but I hurried out of her place before I could ask any questions."

"Have you had contact with her since then?"

"I pulled her aside at the office the next week and asked what happened and how did things escalated to the extreme that they did and she said that I was really drunk and I wanted to go home with her."

"You don't remember any of that? Are you sure you didn't drink more than one mixed drink?"

"No, I'm certain. I verified it with my best friend who was with me at the time, he said I had one Jack and coke and was very sick. He of all people would know what I was like when I was drunk."

"Do you think that this..." he looks down at his paperwork. "Nicole would slip something into your drink?"

"I never really thought about who had done it. It wasn't something I could take back, it already happened. I should have watched my drink a little closer."

"When you got back to her place did she mention anything about making a sex tape or that she was going to film it, anything that might be close to that."

"I honestly didn't remember much about that night until I saw the DVD. Now that I have..." he closes his eyes, "I remember everything now. I remember saying, I just broke up with my girlfriend I can't do this. But of course I did. The tape is proof of that."

            When I looked up at Justin I noticed how much pain he was in. I tried not to look at him as much as I could. "I went to the doctor the next morning and they verified that I didn't have the flu, food poisoning or anything like that. Then they informed me that I had a drug called, "GHB" in my system. It was a shock to me. That was the last time I went to a bar and didn't keep my glass in my hand the entire night."

"So this tape is from six months ago?"

"Roughly yes."

"Ok. I think I have everything I need. Who should I contact if I have any more questions?"

            I sat up straight in my chair. "Me. I'm his PR Manager. Please go through me first. I need to stress the fact that this was a private matter and it needs to remain private. This was invasion into his privacy and he will proceed with whatever charges that need to be filed."

"Ok Ms. Clarkson. I will have the report filed later today. Vivid Entertainment will be notified to stop any kind of promotion or solicitation of this DVD pending an investigation." He turned to everyone in the room. "Please don't have any contact with Vivid or Nicole Cunningham. It could damage the case."

            The room started to clear and Justin and I were the only two remaining. I suddenly felt like I wanted to comfort him. He wasn't staying in there because he was pressuring me to talk to him; he was lost in everything that just happened. I still loved that man. I still wanted to embrace him and let him express everything to me but I knew I couldn't do that, not just yet at least.

            I walked across the room and sat down next to him on the couch. "I'm sorry I haven't let you explain anything. I'm sorry I ran."

He looks up at me with his eyes red and filled with tears. "I love you. I really had hoped that night was in my past. I was not proud of that moment at all. I had honestly not remembered anything that happened..."

"Justin, I believe that you didn't know. The person I thought Nicole was six months ago when I started here is not the Nicole I know now but at the same time I can't just forgive and forget that lies that you told me. You should have just trusted that I would accept everything from your past and kept moving on for the future."

"So, where does this leave us?" he asked.

I take my hand and place it into his. "I think we need some time apart." I start to have tears fill up in my eyes and start to stream down my face. "I think maybe we moved to fast and we need to take about twelve steps back."

He lifts his hand up to my face and wipes away the tears, "I want to marry you."

"Justin, I would love to marry you one day, but I think that time isn't right now. I need time to make sure this is what I want... I need time to recollect my thoughts. I need time to learn to trust you again."

"I don't know if I can handle not being with you."

"You managed for thirty years, I think you will make it." I joked.

"Does this mean we are done?" he asked with a lump in his throat.

"Do you want it to be done?"

"No, I want to walk out of this office with you right now and crawl into bed together."

"I don't want to see other people if that's what you're asking. I just need some time. I need some alone time. I need some time to think everything through."
            He drops my hand and stands. "I will leave, but just remember one thing..."

"Justin..."

"I will always love you. No matter what your decision is or how long it takes for you to make it, I will wait for you."

I stand to hug him and I feel him hold on for dear life. I can't stop the waterfall of tears. "I love you." I whispered softly. I broke the hug and walked back over to my desk with my back towards him. I felt a piece of my already shattered heart break every further.

He stands in the doorway for a couple moments before dropping his head in shame and heartbreak. He slides on his sunglasses and walks down the hallway to the elevator. I turn in my chair to look out of the glass panels of my office. I think I needed to get out of here and get away. I watch as his car pulls out of the garage and onto the street. He is stopped at the red light; his head on lying on the steering wheel, sobbing.

I didn't want to hurt him, that was the last thing I wanted. However I had to remember to stand my ground. I let a man tare me down and belittle me for way to long. It was going to be different this time. I had to stay strong and do what I thought I had to do. Turning back to my desk I lower my head into my hands. I still couldn't believe the turn of events that had happened in less than twenty four hours.

"Emily."

I look up to see Tracey standing in the door way, knocking slightly to get my attention.

"Come in."

            She sat in the chair across from me, "I'm sorry I had Justin still in the building."

"It's ok. When I sent him away, I just didn't want to see him anymore."

"That man is an emotional wreck, as you are. I didn't want him driving like that. I made him go lay down in my office."

"Thank you for looking out for him."

"What's the game plan now?" she asked.

"Well, I need to get things ready for tomorrow's event, and then I have to attempt to keep this new drama out of the press. Cheryl doesn't handle things the way you used it, so I am getting used to that..."

"Emily, I don't care about any of those things right now. I'm worried about you... and Justin."

"I don't know what I'm going to do, one moment at a time."

"Do you still want to be with him?"

‘Yes."

"So what exactly is the issue?"

"It's my issue. He lie and trusting him in the career that he has is a huge issue. I don't want to have to worry about him being in a different city every night and who is with him."

"He didn't cheat." She stated.

"I know that. It's a huge trust issue now."

"Could I ask something as a friend and not an employee?"

"Of course."

"Was this just a way for you to run?"

Ouch, that was harsh but she had a point. "Maybe... I don't know. That's why I want to sort things out. I need to find out if I'm ok for him."

"I think he just needs you. Nothing else matters to him."