The clock on the wall is ticking, making me want to smash it onto the floor. The last time I looked at the damn thing it told me it was after two in the morning. I still lie awake, hoping that I will accomplish some kind of sleep. However sleep is something I don't get when he isn't with me. I don't know when I became this person that needed someone. I was fine for many years with no problem sleeping alone in a bed.

            When the alarm went off four hours later I am still staring at the ceiling. Exhaling deeply I begin a day that hasn't technically started because the night before never ended. Maybe it was the quietness of the entire house when he is gone that is making me go a little crazy?

On the way into the office I realized that I not only had gotten no sleep, I also forgot about a meeting that I had arranged for at 8am. It was a very important staff meeting. It's been in the works for weeks and I had completely forgotten about it. Here it was ten after eight and Tracey is calling my phone nonstop. She knows I don't forget too many things so there had to be something wrong.

I rush into the conference room as fast I could and stand in front of thirty people who seem pissed that I was late.

"Sorry everyone, I blame Starbucks!" I joked. "But you wouldn't want me here without my coffee."

"That's the truth." Tracey joked.

"Ok... so the reason you are all here. I'm sure you have debated for a while and finally gave up because with me you never really know what I can be thinking." I paused for a moment looking at around the room, hoping for a laugh a chuckle, anything. "The last year of my life has changed dramatically. I never thought some of the things that have happened to me, would have. I honestly never thought I would be living in Los Angeles and running this public relations company. I have lost some of the most important people in my life and I have gained some of the most amazing people. As much as I love doing this job I know that I'm not living my life anymore. Sam's schedule was only in the office for two days a week. And when I came in, I basically lived in this office for months on end. There were some people that took that for granted."

Tracey's face drops, then says, "Em... please tell me you are not leaving the company."

"No, I'm not leaving the company. As happy as that would make some of you... but my schedule is going to change. I have a lot of things on my plate and selfishly I don't want to spend the next year away from my fiancé. So... first thing is, starting next week I will be in the office Monday Tuesday and Wednesday. Three days, then I will fly off to wherever Justin is on his tour. I will be working from outside the office, I will not let me clients suffer because of my choices. And speaking of that... Everyone sitting in this room is on the chopping block. I have to say I'm tired of picking up the slack from people that seem to slide by doing as less as possible just to get the perks of this job. I'm telling you now, step it up or you will be gone. This is your last chance. I won't hesitate to fire you, no matter how many years you have been here. "

            They all just look at me like I have never spoken to them before. Maybe it was finally setting in that this is really going to happen. "One last thing before you all get back to work... Tracey started as my Executive Assistant and she has proven herself and was promoted. She is one of maybe a handful of employees that deserve any kind of recognition for a job well done this year. Not only has her work ethic been amazing but her clients are seeing the perks of her job well done. Think back to six months ago, who in the world knew who Isabella Barnes was? Tracey has really taken her career to new heights. She is now lined up to film four movies this year and on six different magazine covers so far. Seriously, great job on that Tracey... and with that I have an announcement. With my new schedule starting I have decided to add a new position to the company. I need someone to be me when I'm not here to be me. Starting next week, Tracey is going to be your Jr. Vice President of Marketing and Public Relations. She is going to be me when I'm not here. I guess as long as she wants the job." I chuckle as I can see the remorse on everyone's faces. They were not happy. "Tracey, I need to see you a little later to sign some paperwork and go over a few things... if anyone else has a problem with the changes, feel free to come see me."

            I returned to my office and unpacked my things. I didn't know where to begin but it was going to have to start somewhere.

            The door behind me slams and there is an agent standing in my office. Sarah, an agent that has been here for years, however only does what she has to and that's it. She is the last to arrive in the morning and the first to leave in the afternoon. I have never said anything to her because it is her designated time to be in the office. But her clients don't seem like they get the attention they need and they are the ones suffering in the end.

"I have been here for fifteen years." She said loudly. "Fifteen fucking years and you come in here like you own the fucking place and take over. How dare you put a twenty something girl who has only been an agent in this office for a couple months in that new position. I have earned that position."

"Sarah, working here for fifteen years doesn't automatically give you the rights to that job." I said calmly.

"Then what is the purpose of working for a company for years if you can't advance anywhere?"

"Sarah, sit." She slams herself down in the seat across from my desk. "Do you enjoy working here?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't have stuck around for so many years if I wasn't happy."

"Do you really believe that I came into the office took over?"

"Yes. Things were never like this when Sam was here."

"Sam was an amazing PR agent however he was not great at managing the rest of the staff. He told me that himself when he left. He was worried about his clients first and foremost and worried about everything else second. And yes that's the way things should be done however there needs to be some kind of balance. When I walked into this office, I literally had to work days and days straight for months to get some of the clients where they needed to be. I'm not here to be anyone's babysitter. I'm not here to pick up the pieces of something you didn't do."

She snapped at me, "Are you saying I don't do my job?"

"I'm saying that you do as less as possible. Haven't you seen your clients' kind of just stalled in this business? Yes having talent is a major plus however if you as their PR is doing just as much as need then it will get them nowhere?"

"I have been busting ass to help my clients. I'm sorry I have a life outside of the office and can't stay until the sun goes down."

"I'm not asking you to stay late. Just make use of the time you do have in the office."

‘Oh like the schedule you are about to embark on is going to be efficient in the office. Justin has really taken control hasn't he?"

"First of all, Justin and I are none of yours business. Yes changing my schedule was as selfish one. However Justin has always had a PR agent with him on tour. Always. So instead of having someone else go in my place, it might as well be me." I was irritated. "People who know him, really know him would know that he doesn't have a controlling bone in his body."

"I worked with him. I know how controlling he is."

"You were working for him, he should have been controlling with you. Being a perfectionist about your career isn't a bad thing."

"Whatever, I'm going to see Kevin about this entire situation."

"That's fine. I will have Cheryl schedule you a meeting with him. But just so you know... Kevin Daniels is the one that promoted Tracey. This was his idea. So before you waste any of his time, think about the situation before you walk into his office."

            She sat there stunned. She thought I had picked my favorite employee, who I have become friends with and promoted her. Yes I thought Tracey deserved the job she has proven herself in such a short time, but at the end of it Kevin had made a decision and I couldn't argue with his choice.

            Justin was coming home tomorrow night for a couple days to do some magazine shoots and to shoot his new video before heading back out on the road. It's been a month since he started touring and it feels like it's been six months. I was excited to see him, I haven't seen him in over a week. There was no point in my flying out last night and flying home tomorrow. So I waited. Very patiently I waited. It would be my last night eating dinner alone for a couple days. I was ready to be back in his arms.

The view on the patio was something to die for. I loved standing here wasting time, watching the sunset over the hills of Los Angeles and the downtown area. I wish he was here with me to share it with me. One day. I can handle it. One more day.

Ding Dong.

I heard the doorbell ring. I was confused for a moment because we lived in a secure gated community. It must have been a neighbor because otherwise I would have had to buzz them in. I slowly walked into the kitchen and into the entry way of the front door.

I can see the shadow of a man in a dark business suit standing on the other side of the glass. A man that I had never seen before. My stomach starts to turn. Who was this?

 "Em... take a breath... it's about to begin. The change has already happened..." I hear my mother's voice whispering into my ear as I close my eyes and swallow the lump in my throat.

            I slowly open the door to reveal a man standing with a manila folder in hand.

"Can I help you?"

"My name is Stephen Larson and I'm attorney from Marwick & Larson here in Los Angeles. I need to speak to Mr. Justin R. Timberlake."

"I'm sorry he is on the road right now. I believe he is in New Jersey at this moment. Is there something I can help you with?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Emily Roberts. I'm his fiancé and I am his public relations manager."

"Can we take a seat?"

"Sure." I said nervously. He walks into the house and I see a woman sitting in the car. "Does she want to come in as well?"

"She will, I just need to inform you of everything before I bring her in here."

"Ok you are really making me feel uneasy, what is this all about?" I said as we sit at the table in the dining room.

"There is only so much I can legally tell you. But your name is on the paperwork as a point of contact so it should be fine that I'm giving you this information."

He starts flipping through the paperwork as I sat there with my hand resting over my mouth preparing myself for what he might possibly say.

"Ok, so I don't even know how to say this. I always have a problem with placing information like this into the hands of people who are not expecting it at all."

"Not to be rude but could you just spit it out." My mother's words have me scared beyond belief.

"Sorry. Yes. Several months ago, Justin was involved with a woman named, Kristen Smith. Kristen was a family friend of mine that I had known for many years. She came to me and had a living will drawn up to protect the things she had in her life."

A living will. Whew. It can't be that bad.

"She was someone that Justin had known for quite some time... long story short. Kristen died two days ago from a battle of brain cancer. She found out she had cancer while she was pregnant however she was already six months and thought the idea of terminating a pregnancy at the stage was not an option, so she held out hoping that when the baby was born she could fight the cancer head on and win the battle. Sadly the cancer was too advanced by the time the baby was born. She spent three weeks with her darling daughter before the cancer took her out of this world..."

I was still lost at what this guy was trying to tell me.

"Without going into too many details at this moment, I'm here to tell you that Kristen's daughter..." he looks down at the paperwork, "Harlow, has Justin Timberlake listed as the father on her birth certificate." I felt my heart hit the floor, I was sure of it. "Of course there is no signature on the father's line on the birth certificate but when she came to see me for the living will she said she was going to contact him and let him know everything so he would be aware before she got to sick... but she must not have said anything by the look on your face."

"No..." I said shaking my head staring off into thin air. "Are you sure that the child is Justin's?"

"Obviously we have to do a set of blood work to verify that he is the father. However she has left the child in her will to him regardless if he is the father or not." He paused for a moment. "I know this is a lot to take in. She knew that you were with him now." He adds, "When she came into to fill out this paperwork it was right after he had started seeing you. She said she didn't want to ruin this relationship for him. So she didn't say anything. She loved him but it wasn't a romantic kind of love. They had a genuine friendship that escaladed one night and Harlow is a result of that. She respected you. Naming you as a person with him and the person she wanted to raise her daughter."

"She didn't know me? I don't know her?" I was confused by all of this.

"I understand this is a lot to take in and that's the reason I didn't want to bring the child in here."

"She is here now?"

"Yes. She is in the car with a woman from child services."

Tears fill up my eyes, "Can I... see her?"

            "Yes. But I can't leave her with you without Mr. Timberlake's consent."

"I understand. He will be in town tomorrow."

"I will get her." He says as he walks out the front door, returning with a tiny baby in his arms. "Emily, this is Harlow."

He places the baby in my arms as I remove the blanket that was covering her tiny little face. She looked like a mini Justin. She had his cheekbones, his jaw line, his eyes, and his curls. There was no doubt that this little baby was his.