Six hours, two shopping trips, and a few thousand dollars later Tracey and I were walking through the front door with shopping bags full of things for the baby. Justin was still sitting in the very same spot... holding her. Justin had reassured me many times in the short six hours that we have been in this little girl's life that we will take things as they come. Adopting Harlow had to be my choice and mine alone.

"Thank god. Em... Can you take her please?" he says standing quickly. "I have to use the bathroom."

I laughed at him, "You could have gone to the bathroom. She would have been fine in that car seat."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't want to chance anything. Please." He hands me Harlow and runs into the bathroom.

            She looks up at me and smiles. I didn't think babies could smile at that age... not like that anyway. Harlow has found a way to capture my heart in such a short time. She was precious.

"I'm proud of you." Tracey says as she continues to stare at me.

"I haven't done anything to be proud of yet."

"You may not think so but I'm proud of you. You didn't run. You stood beside him through the every single moment of it."

"For better or for worse, right? Not that this is either but it's part of spending your lives together. I have to admit when we were in that lawyers office I wanted to run, but I didn't. "

"Like I said, proud."

"Be proud when I have actually done something to be proud of."

"Em, I don't know if I could be in your shoes and be as calm as you are. I'm sure you are freaking out but you haven't run... huge step for you."

"Ok... anyways..." I walk into the kitchen with Harlow in my arms. "Let's figure out what to do with this entire situation."

            We sat at that table for hours going over the pros and cons of what we should do. Putting a statement out not only clears the air it also confirms everything. If we kept quiet the stories would more than likely escalate out of control, so there was no easy way to deal with the situation at hand. Waiting patiently for a confirmation from the lawyer was not comforting. In reality it didn't matter. I could see it in Justin's eyes; he knew this was his daughter. Harlow looked just like him. There was no denying her at all. He knew that this test would only confirm and make the documents legal.

            I walk up the stairs to one of the back bedrooms that normally are empty or full of event things has now been cleared out and I see Justin assembling a crib. He was down to the last set of pieces. I stood with Harlow in my arms watching him, he was content.

            "I like my men a little handy." I say as I wink at him.

He stands, "I would have never thought, that the flutter in my heart would be such a great feeling as I stand here seeing the love of my life holding my daughter... makes me a very happy man."

            I tilt my head to the side smile trying not to cry.

"I know that you don't think you have the mother instincts but what you don't realize is, you do. You from the very first moment have had a connection with her. She has changed both our lives for the better. She is just as much a piece of me that she is of you."

"Justin...  she isn't my daughter. As much as you have convinced yourself she is, she isn't. I'm not saying this to hurt you because I'm not going anywhere, I'm not running I just need you to know that I can't change the fact that she is your daughter but in reality I'm not her mother. I didn't carry her for nine months... I didn't deliver her."

            He steps closer to me, "Being a child's biological parent doesn't make that person their mother or father. Paul has been the best father I could have ever asked for in my life. Never once did I think differently of him because he wasn't the one that created me. That man has always been my father and my dad. There isn't a way for Kristen to be a part of Harlow's life and she needs you. I need you. We need you. I know that this is a lot to deal with and have to accept in such a short time frame but trust me when I say this will all work out."

"I love you and I'm here. Maybe a little scatter brained but I'm here."

            I laid Harlow in her bassinet and returned to help Justin finish putting together the crib. When it was finished I was standing next to him as his arms were wrapped around me. I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck before I felt his hands cup over my face. Staring into those blue eyes I feel the release of pressure. I feel a sense of relief. "I love you more than the air I breathe... I love you for everything that you are... I love you." He says to me as the tears roll down my face. He gently brushes them off my face. "I know that no matter what throws at us we will be able to handle it. I'm a very lucky man to have a woman that stands beside me."

"I'm sorry I..." I'm cut off by him.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything. I understand how much you have endured in the last twenty four hours. Any doubts you could have had are normal... and feeling of not waiting to do this is understandable. If you didn't want to be here you would be gone already. I love you for standing next to me. I love you for you, being you."

"Can I speak now?" I asked sarcastically.

"No." he brushes the hair that has falling into my eyes out of his way. "I want you... to kiss me... I want to..." I cut him off this time by slamming my lips onto his, slowly pushing him against the closet door.

"Not in here..." I said.

He looks at me funny. "Since when do you care where we have sex?"

"Since this became your daughter's room."  I grab his hand and drag him into our bedroom.

"Ok... I understand now."

He lifts me up, holding me above his head as I stare down at him, slowly lowering to be level with his face. "I ...." He breathes heavily on my neck reaching the side of my face. "Love... every..." Switching to the other side of my face, down my neck and onto my chest, "single... inch... of... your... body..." he looks at me with that flirty grin before he tosses me onto the bed. Climbing on top of me, stripping me of every piece of clothing I had on. Slowly but surely we manage to get to get to the point we had both been craving for a long time. I felt every muscle in my body tighten up and release as he collapses on top of me. "God..."

"It's Emily... but God works to." I joke with him before I flip him over to climb on top of him. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

He pulls my face down to his... "You were you... and we were destined to be together!"

"You are total cheese, do you know that?"

"You love my cheese."

I roll my eyes at him, "I do... I can't help myself." I lower myself on him seeing that he was ready to go again.

"You are going to be the death of me, women."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. It's the best way to go I guess..."
            "I have to agree."

Just as we start our second round I hear Harlow crying. I try to zone it out, I try to ignore it thinking she is just going to stop. "Babe, you are so not into it this time around." He questions.

"The baby."

"She can't see us..." he says as he climbs on top of me. "Not that she would even know what was going on."

I nudge him off of me, "No, the baby is crying." I said frustrated as I slide off the bed, throwing a robe on and walking into the baby's room.

She was crying even harder by the time I got into the room. I picked her up and she stopped crying instantly. That's all she wanted. She wasn't hungry, she wasn't fussy, she didn't need her diaper changed, she just wanted to feel someone wrapped their arms around her. I sit with her in the rocking chair holding her. She had stopped crying and is content now.

I can see Justin out of the corner of my eye standing in the door way in a pair of boxer briefs. "I didn't hear her... I'm sorry."

"It's ok. It's something that you will learn over time. You will get the ear for it."

"She really likes you. She has become one with you."

"It's only been a couple hours, she is adjusting... it must be hard to be passed from person to person and not ever seeing the same person twice."

Justin continues to stand in the doorway. "As much as you say you don't have that motherly thing... you do. I see it in your eyes when you hold her."

            I exhale a deep breath and all I can think about is my mother. My mother never getting to see my children. My mother never getting to be her grandmother. My children never getting to spend time with their grandmother. I feel the tears start to stream down my face.

"Justin, please take her." I handed the baby to Justin as I rush out of the room.

            The sunset has always been something to ease my mind. It has always been something to give me clarity but the clouds that cover the sun today isn't so promising. "Get yourself together Emily" I yell at myself. "At some point you have to deal with your mother's death. At some point life moves on. No one else needs to deal with your stupid issues."

            Would I ever be able to deal with her death? Would it ever come to a point when I can just accept this life for what it is?

"Emily." I hear Justin say in a soft voice that only makes me cry more. I can hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm fine Justin. I just..." He is now standing next to me and interrupting what I had to say. "You will never get over your mother's death. Losing your mother has changed who you will be forever... I fell in love with the woman standing in front of me. I fell in love with everything about you. Nothing will change that. I met you after your mother died; this is the Emily I feel in love with. I'm not going anywhere. This could be an issue for the rest of your life and I will stand next to you."

"I can't believe that she will never get to experience the joy of grandchildren, I will never get to the chance to give that to her..."

He pulls me into his arms, laying my head on his chest. "I wish I could do something to make it better for you. If I could give up something to take that pain away from you I would."

"I love you. You know that right?" I asked.

"I do."

"Harlow has... she has made me think of a lot of things today and I'm a complete mess and I just want you to know... that at the end of everything I am here."

"I understand. Just know that this isn't something you have to deal with alone. I'm here for you. I will be your punching bag if you need me to be."

Just then Justin's phone rings. We both look at each other, knowing this is could be the phone call we have been waiting for. I nod my head, telling him to answer the phone.

"Hello...Yes... uh huh... okay... Thank you... I will talk to you soon..."

This was it. The way he was looking at me, I knew that this was the moment that was officially changing everything.

"I'm the father." He says, trying to convince himself. "I'm the... father." I see him losing control of his balance but before I could get to him I saw him reaching to sit in the chair. "I'm a father. I have a daughter..."