"In a recent turn of events there has been some exciting news with my private life. In due time, the news will be pubic but until then, I ask for the respect and privacy for my family and friends. After all they haven't chosen this position for their lives and I have. So I stand here today and ask for some small window of privacy."

            Justin stands in front of what looks like a hundred microphones attached to a podium and speaks as if it is not a big deal. I have been doing this job for many years and I still got super nervous when I had to speak in front of this many people. There was press from around the world standing here waiting... listening to every word he had to say.

            "Amidst rumors, my tour will remain on as scheduled. No shows will be cancelled or rescheduled. I have not cancelled a single date. In this industry I have learned that your private life and your work juggle each other. I will stand here and tell you that my fiancé and our life together will always come first however on the side of work, my fans come first. I would give up twenty personal appearances to do one show for my fans. They will always remain my priority."

            He stands with such poise and gratitude addressing his fans, the only people he worries about addressing. Anyone else that needs to know the events already know.

            "I return to the road tomorrow in Orlando! So, fans in Florida, you better be ready for me."

            He waves to the adoring fans that have lined up in support and walks off that platform and into the back room where I was standing with little Harlow. He kisses my forehead and kisses Harlow before saying, "Whew."

"Now the real challenges begin." I joke with him. "Life with an infant, how will we ever survive?"

"I think we will live happily ever after."

"Well, I have work to do now." He smacks my ass as I walk out of the back room and onto that stage.

            I felt a little overwhelmed. The flashes were beyond crazy. I only have a few lines to say then I would be done. I can do this.

            "Thank you to everyone that came out today. This concludes the press conference. When there is something else to share, my office will be sure to get that information to everyone. Until then please respect his privacy."

            Keeping the press from getting her pictures was our greatest challenge. We have taken extra precautions. Each black tinted window of the four SUV's in tow with us wasn't so discreet but it was a decoy. I knew as his PR Agent that the last thing we wanted was to cause this kind of scene however I had think about that little girl that was no idea what is going on and could chance scaring her with all the attention.

            Justin sits next to her car seat with his arm latching a blanket over the top. If someone did have a lens that went through the black tint, they would only see a car seat. The stories and articles that I have seen in just the last couple days have been hurtful and disrespectful. I knew that at some point he had to address the subject but it had to be in his words and it had to be when he was ready.

We have decided that I will keep Harlow the three days that I was in L.A and then bring her to wherever he was. It would be easier this way, at least I was trying to convince myself of that. Lynn was going to be the official babysitter while I was at the office, just until she was a little older and we could hire a nanny for her.

            So unfortunately for Lynn she is going to be on the same flight schedule I am going to be on for the next months. She seemed happy to have the honor of taking care of her granddaughter.

"Em, honey is there something wrong. You have been picking at your food at night."

"Just thinking..." I continues to poke around the food with my fork.

"Are you sure you want to do this. I should be the one taking the responsibility for her." Justin asks but makes it sound like he doesn't want to talk about any of the situation.

"With your schedule on the road she will be with a nanny the entire time. I don't think that's the best option for her. I'm going to be her step mother, I think I should step up as well." I don't know how I was going to manage to fit in a baby with my schedule but I was going to give it my best shot. "If this were our child, it would be no different. I would more than likely as the mother have the child most of the time... Isn't that how this society works?" I questioned.

            He shakes his head in disappointment. "I don't want you to do this because you feel you have to or you feel obligated. I don't want you to think this is what you have to do. I will figure it out if you don't want to do this."

"Justin- Seriously this was my idea. This was all my doing. If I didn't want to do this, I would have never made it an option. Plus I think Harlow deserves to have people around her that she can get used to."

He sits for a moment quiet. Maybe thinking of a way to get out of this house tonight and not have to deal with me before he lives in the morning. "Ok so if this isn't what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, what is?" I didn't expect that question from him tonight of all nights.

"The one person that I thought I had in this world other than you to go to for anything hasn't even returned a single phone call. She is supposed to be here. She is supposed to tell me everything's going to be alright."

He takes his hand into mine, intertwining each of his fingers into mine. "I'm sorry. I know how much you miss her."

"They are just thoughts... I'll be fine..."

            I couldn't believe that that tomorrow morning when Justin left this house he was going to gone and I would be in charge of his daughter. I have never been the one in charge of anyone's child. Scared was an understatement.

            I climb into bed with the weight of the world on my shoulders. I felt his arms wrapped around me, pulling me close to him. "I love you" he whispers into the side of my ear before I begin to hear his breath sounds get steady and slow. I fell asleep in his arms.

            I woke up hours before Justin had to be up for his flight and he had to be up super early to be at the airport on time. Standing in the doorway watching the sunrise when I heard someone from behind me say. "Do you ever sleep?"

I turned with my hot coffee cup in hand. "Good Morning Lynn."

She pours herself a cup a coffee and joins me in watching the sunrise. "You and Justin are one and the same. You both constantly stress about all the things you can't do anything about in life."

"I'm not stressing..." I said trying to convince her and myself. I wasn't stressing really. I was just thinking about some things that I couldn't get out of my head.

"Emily." She glares at me, "You are beyond stressing. Just take every moment as it comes. What else is there to do?"

"It's hard for me not to worry. I mean I have... I have Justin's career in my hands. One wrong move on my part and I could destroy everything he has world for his entire life for. So I not only now have to deal with a new obstacle in our relationship, I have an infant that isn't going anywhere that's in our lives now and to mix it all in there... I'm responsible for making Justin's public imagine." I feel my voice start to shake. "Sometimes... I wonder if I was meant to always screw everything up..."

"Emily... you are truly one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure in knowing. You stay strong for everyone around you but I think it's time to think about you for just a moment. I know you love my son and I know that this will all work out in the end but we all need you to be ok. If you want to vent just vent. Don't let any of this reside inside of you."

            Lynn was always good for just putting it out there. She always had her ‘mothers' hat on and tried to comfort everyone. I sat for a moment, staring out into the open sky. I began to speak in a low tone. "I'm used to having four walls up around me. I have learned in my life to keep a distance between people. Somehow someway things never seem to work out for me in life. I'm not good at goodbyes of any kind." The water that was filling up in my eyes has begun to stream down my face. "When I lost my mother I told myself I would never love someone as much as I loved her. I would never love someone that much and have them taking away from me... I let that a wall down when I met Justin... I love him more than I have ever loved anyone my entire life. How or why I don't know but it's somehow connected with her... somehow it's like she has been with me this entire time pushing me, directing me, placing a piece of my life together that I was scared to do." I look over at Lynn who seems to be scared at what I might say next. "I'm not saying that I don't want to be with Justin or Harlow... I just wish my mother was here because if something happens... if I lose Justin..." My throat feels like it is closing off. "If I lose him, I just don't know what I would do." She wraps her arms around me. Embracing me the same way my mother always did. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to. "I can't lose someone else that I love so much."

She never let's go of her arms around me. "He isn't going anywhere sweetie. He knows all the pain you have gone through. He knows how much your mother means to you. He loves you more than live itself. He will never walk away from you. You never have to worry about losing him."

            The tears are streaming down my face. She has really become someone in my life. She has become someone I want in my life.