One year and nine months earlier...

            Frustrated and stressed out is an understatement. My first big project that I have to take full responsibility for if something goes wrong will happen tomorrow. I have done everything I can do. Everything will have to unfold the way it does. I will either make my career or break it in less than twenty four hours from now.

            "Did you get the dresses from Sak's?" I asked expecting some kind of answer from her.

My mother sat there for a while before answering me, "No, they were not ready. They said mine was still in alterations."

"You're kidding right?" I slammed down my purse. "The event is tomorrow. Those people are going to make me pull my hair out."

"Emily honey, don't stress out. Everything will be fine." She says, sympathetically.

"Remind me to never use them for my wedding. I would be sure to have a nervous breakdown."

My mother snapped her head my way, "What do you mean wedding?"

"Don't jump to conclusions, I was just making a statement for future reference. It's doubtful I will ever get married."

‘You'll marry a great guy... one that your least suspect but that guy isn't Chad."

"I know you don't care for him but I think I love him."

"You don't love him." She demanded. "He is just someone to fill the void of being alone right now."

"Mom... please I don't have time to argue with you about this today."

"Fine Emily, just remember that ok."

"Ok mother, I will remember that."

            We sat for hours in the apartment that I shared with her, as we tweaked every single detail left to do for this event. She had helped me so much with getting things tied together. I knew that in the morning I would have to deal with getting the venue set up the right way, the guest lists were ready, the step up and repeat was ready for any of the celebrities that will be arriving. I would have no time to finish anything else up tomorrow.

"Make sure your on time tomorrow." I said to her as she was leaving.

"I will be." She turned to say. "I have to work a couple hours in the morning but I should be home before you are."

"You always say you are going to be on time and you're not. I can't look unprofessional tomorrow. This is my career we are screwing with now." I stood tapping my foot as if I had any right to demand things of her.

"You and your career." She said irritated, "I'm proud of you and everything you have done Emily... but you need to step back and be happy at home as well. Finding actual love isn't such a bad thing. I know I have had some bad examples for you over the years but there really is happiness out there for you."

"I love you mom but please I will worry about happiness later. I have worked too hard for my entire career to have it fall at the waist side because of ‘love'."

"I just want to see you over the moon happy Emily."

"I know."

Knowing she isn't going to get very far, she drops the conversation. "I will pick up the dresses in the morning and leave yours here. I will be on time, don't worry!"

            My mother left just in time because Chad was on his way over to the apartment. She never got along with him. She has disliked him since day one. It was hopeless for me to have both of them in the same room together. I tried everything I had to get them both at the event but I was happy it was just my mother coming along with me.

Morning of Event Day

            The bullshit is flying high this morning. Everyone seems to have an excuse for something and it drives me crazy. Buck up and say, yea I screwed up. It's not that difficult and it will end the situation. I felt like I was working with five years olds who like to throw tantrums. I guess they haven't figured out yet that I don't deal with it too well.

            Daddy's perfect little angel has screwed up the entire guest list and seating chart. The girl couldn't tell the difference between the colors black and gray... why on earth my boss thought she was ‘the perfect one for the job' I will never know. Hiring your children should come with limits.

"Janelle... this is all wrong."

"No, its fine." She snapped back.

"NO. It's wrong. Sam McDonnell specifically asked for a table for just his people, why am I seating at his table? Mr. Jacobs asked for two tables" I continued. "Side by side, not spread across the room. I thought you said this was all under control."

"You told me to seat these people, I did that."

"Except you didn't follow any of the specific directions." I ripped the folder out of her hands. "I will fix it. Go find something to do that you can't possibly screw up."

"Why didn't you just do it yourself Emily?" She snapped at me.

"Janelle, I would advise you to get out of my face right now..." I exhaled deeply, "I know this is your father's company but this is my career you're screwing with. This isn't one of my pet projects that I work on."

            She walked away from me mumbling something about being a bitch but I took that as a compliment. I'm sure no one in her life has corrected her, which is why she is the way she is now.
            Frustrated was putting it mildly, it was almost noon and I had to redo the entire seating chart. Yay! I thought as I rolled my eyes, looking at the computer screen that has a dummy proof seating program. I guess I should call the company that produces this program. They have some improvements to do.

            I walked into my apartment a little after three, knowing I was going to be the one late for the event. I had to be ready by four thirty at the very latest. I drop my things on the couch and open the fridge hoping to find water or something to drink. Nothing of course was in my refrigerator.

            The coffee maker looks like it had fresh coffee in it. Lying next to the pot was a post it with my mother's neat cursive handwriting on it. I picked it up, reading it before laying it back in the very spot she left it.

I promise I will be on time.

            My mother knew my OCD with time. I didn't like to be late for anything.

My dress was hanging on the outside of my bedroom door, but I began to panic when I saw that not only was my dress hanging there my mother's dress was there as well. I shuffled through my bag looking for my phone.

"Mom... your dress is still here, why don't you have it on? We are going to be late for sure now."

"Em..." she said calmly. "Breathe. I'm standing right outside the door. I didn't want to wrinkle the dress."

            The apartment door opens and she walks in looking absolutely gorgeous. Her and I have always looked alike. My hair color may change from time to time but I have always had my mother's features. She was a mother was a stunner, that's for sure.

Event

            Putting drama aside, I stand inside the event greeting everyone that came through the doors. After a while faces become a blur. Names mean nothing. I pointed everyone in the direction of their seats, trying to stay out of the way.

"Emily Clarkson?" A man standing behind me asked.

I turned to see that it was a tall dark and handsome older man.

"Hi, I'm sorry do I know you? Did you need something?'

"The name is Sam McDonnell" he reaches out to shake my hand. I shake his awkwardly as he continues to talk. "I'm the Vice President at Shinetime Entertainment in Los Angeles."

"Oh, we have spoken... I handled your tables tonight." I said with a smile on my face.

He nods his head slightly, "Yes. I thank you so much for arranging that for me. I have one of my clients here tonight and I wanted to make sure he was comfortable."

"You are very welcome. It's my job to make sure it gets done."

"Which is why I want to talk to you... when you're interested in doing something more challenging, call me." he hands me a small white card. "I have been watching your career for a while and I think that you have what it takes to be an extraordinary public relations manager."

            The music starts to play as a sign that we have to be seated. He turns around and says, "Call me. Trust me, you won't regret it."

            Flattered, I turned to find my mother. I wanted to share this news with her. I scanned through the room to find her sitting at the table talking to a much younger man... he had to be about my age. She was smiling and laughing with him. Maybe she was going after the young ones now. Whatever makes her happy I guess, maybe a younger guy will keep her busy and out of my hair about work and Chad. Instead of interrupting her I walk through the room making sure everything was running smoothly before I took my seat.

            "How was your night?" my mothers asked me as we got in the car to finally go home.

"It was great. Very productive night." I smiled really big, "I got a job offer!"

"A less demanding job?" she asked.

"No." I said frustrating. "Sam McDonnell said it he has a more challenging job for me."

"So more time... More devotion... I get it. You may never marry the love of your life and give me grandchildren."

"I want to focus on my career right now, when that is set in stone I will work on finding the love of my life and having grandchildren for you." I rolled my eyes at her. This was going to end in a huge argument.

            Awkward silence lingered for moments before my mother started a different topic. "The dresses were just beautiful tonight. It looked like we were at the Oscars on the red carpet. It was beautiful"

"There sure was some amazing dresses tonight..." I agreed. "I would like my wedding dress to look like the white dress did tonight."

"You mean the white dress with one shoulder and all that detailing on it?" She had noticed it as well.

"Yes. That one. I loved it. I stared at it every time she came close to me."

"So, when you get married it will be with an amazing guy who loves every piece of you. It will be a guy that misses the warmth of your smile when you're away for an hour..."

"I'm not fighting with you about this again."

She looked over at me with the deepest look of sincerity in her eyes, "Promise me you will marry the love of your life and trust him with everything you have."

            A loud squeal of rubber and concrete burning into one is piercing the ear drum, the smashing of metal come crashing together. Lights from all direction were all I could see. I felt my mother's body slam against mine, which causes everything to go black again.

"MOM" I screamed when I finally opened my eyes... but there was no response from her.

"MOM" I began to panic.

"Ma'am, don't move." I heard a male voice say.

"My mom, my mom isn't answering me. Help her."

            I heard the shuffling around of people surrounding the car.

"HELP HER!" I demanded. "My mom needs your help."

"She is already gone... you need to calm down so we can get you out of this car."

"What do you mean she is already gone? She is right there. Help her..." I pleaded. "Help her."

            I felt the paramedic butting the c-collar on my neck and lowering my body onto the backboard. I watched my mother lying in her seat, head tilted back and her eyes closed. I screamed for them to help her but they all ignored me. They didn't want to help her. They were leaving her lay there and not helping.

            The bright lights shining in my eyes will never seem to look the same to me again. I will never forget the emptiness I felt when my eyes opened to see Lexie standing over me with tears in her eyes. I will never forget that bright white light that seemed to never disappear.